Finn Hudson poured tequila into several shot glasses as the men around him cheered raucously. 

“SHOTS!” Puck cried as he grabbed several of the glasses and started handing them out to their friends. “Who wants salt?”

“Hell yeah, body shots! Can I take one off Kurt?” Blaine asked.

“I didn’t sign up for body shots!” Kurt yelped as he backed away from Blaine. “You’ll get me sticky!”

Cheers erupted around the room as the men catcalled, while Finn covered his ears in disgust. 

“Dude, TMI! I don’t want to know what you get up to in private.”

“It’s not my fault you’ve got a dirty mind,” Kurt grumbled. He felt Blaine slip an arm around his waist and slide his fingers underneath his shirt, rubbing gently at the hairs on his stomach. 

“Let me do a body shot off you…” Blaine whispered “I’ll make it worth your while.”

“Oh boy…” Kurt laughed, “How many drinks have you had?”

“Not enough to not get it up.”

“Okay!” Elliott laughed, “I think it’s time for some karaoke before someone loses their dignity over here!”

“How are you still sober, Glitter Rock Vampire?” Blaine hiccuped as he handed a shot over to Elliot and picked one for himself, clinking their cups together before downing the tequila in his.

“KARAOKE IS OPEN!” Sam yelled from his spot by the little machine that Kurt had dug out of the attic just for tonight.

“Time to get this par-tay start-ed!” Puck bellowed as he tossed a microphone at Finn and they launched into a lively rendition of Jingle Bell Rock .

It didn’t take long for the alcohol and celebratory mood of the party to encourage more and more to get up and sing. Several songs in, Blaine got up, wobbling slightly on his feet and grabbed the microphone, pointing at Kurt as he did so. 

“ IIIII don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing i need, I don’t care about the presents, underneath the Christmas tree… I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know… make my wish come true… baby, all I want for Christmas is - ” Blaine was abruptly cut off from his serenading of Kurt by Puck joyfully yelling over the end of his line.

“Sex!”

Raucous laughter erupted around the room and Blaine faltered only slightly before glancing at Kurt and waggling his eyebrows.

“ I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need-”   Blaine quirked an eyebrow suggestively at Kurt, and cocked his hip slightly, causing Elliott to wolf whistle. “ I don’t care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree.” Blaine motioned between his legs, causing Finn to bury his head in his hands and Puck to cackle madly and nudge Kurt’s shoulder. 

“Someone is getting some tonight!”

“Yeah,” Kurt agreed, “Some sleep maybe.”

Puck laughed and nudged Elliott’s shoulder “He thinks he’s just getting sleep!”

“Judging by how drunk Blaine is? He might get to give Blaine’s candy cane a lick before bed, but that all depends if Blaine can even get it up!”

More laughter had Kurt burying his head in his hands in embarrassment.

“Hold up, if this is going to be one of those nights, then I’m going to need another drink!” Mike laughed as he pushed himself to his feet.

“Get me one as well, would you?” Kurt called out as Blaine dropped down next to him and wrapped his arms around Kurt. 

“This is so much fun! You should sing too, Kurt!”

“Maybe I will, but I have not had nearly enough to drink for that. Unlike you, boozy. You feeling ok?”

“I feel fantastic! It’s Christmas and we’ve got all our friends here and there’s drinks and snacks and music and video games and oh my god, Kurt, I love you so much.”

Kurt laughed at Blaine’s intoxicated ramblings. “I love you too, you dork. Also, we don’t have all our friends here because the girls are having their girls night and technically it’s not Christmas any more. 

“Pah, who cares?” Blaine said, his hand flopping around in what Kurt assumed must be a dismissive manner. “It’s the Holiday Season, and we’ve been good boys this year, haven’t we?” He called out to Sam, getting a ‘hell yeah!’ in return before he jumped up and stole the mic from Puck who was finishing up a filthy version of ‘ Hanukkah, Oh Hanukkah ’ which had everyone cringing along. Blaine leaned over the laptop and made his selection before standing up with a smirk and dedicating the next song to Kurt.

“ Oooooh, you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I’m telling you why, SANTA CLAUS WILL COME IN YOUR MOUTH! ”

“Oh my god, Blaine! TMI!” 

Blaine cackled as Sam chimed in with his own dirty lyrics and Kurt gratefully grabbed the tray of shot glasses Mike held out to him.

“Bottoms up!” he said, before downing three in a row without stopping for any salt or lime. 

“Woah man, you good?” Mike asked, downing his own shot in a much calmer manner. 

“Yep, I’m great. But Blaine is about five drinks ahead of me and dead set on provoking me, so I gotta catch up and level the playing field.”

“Good luck with that,” Mike chuckled and handed out another round of shots. “They seem to be having a great time up there.”

Blaine and Sam had abandoned the karaoke machine and with an arm slung over each other’s shoulders and a red solo cup of beer sloshing in their other hands, they sang at the top of their lungs, “ Up on the rooftop, reindeer paws, out jumps good ol’ Santa Claus. Down your chimney with lots of toys, all for the kinky ones’ Christmas joys . Ho ho ho, who wouldn’t go? Deck your balls, he’s up on the rooftop! ” 

Sam cackled as he stepped towards Kurt and held out his mic, “Oh no, Sam Evans, there is not enough alcohol in the world to get me to join in on this filth!”

Blaine stepped around Sam and quirked an eyebrow, “That's not what you–” 

"Okay, Blaine, we don’t need to tell them everything!” Kurt said, hastily covering Blaine’s mouth with his hand.

Finn groaned and buried his head in his hands as Mike shoved his shoulder jovially.  

“Who wants vodka?” Elliott yelled.

Kurt thumped his head down onto the table and groaned.

A few hours later and Kurt was several more shots down. He had chased them with a few beers, but he still felt less drunk than everyone around him. Although, given Puck and Mike’s stripping and Blaine and Sam’s insistence on dirty Christmas songs lyrics, which Elliott was now joining in on too, Kurt wasn’t sure it would take much to be less drunk.

“Deck the halls and suck my balls! Falalalala, la la la laaaa!” Elliott bellowed, the mics now completely abandoned.

Catcalling from a half naked Puck and Mike encouraged Blaine to continue with a completely different song, “ Suck on my, suck on my, suck on my cock, suck on my cock and balls, sucking and fucking is bushels of fun, now the mating dance has begun!”

Kurt wasn’t sure when all the songs had started merging together, but maybe that was the result of drinking a year's worth of alcohol in one evening. 

“You better lie back, you better not cry, you better not bite I'm telling you why... Santa Claus is cumming inside!”

“Oh dear God!” Kurt glanced up in time to see Blaine saunter towards him and leer before belting out,

“ Oh, Kurt Hummel, Oh, Kurt Hummel, such pleasure do you bring me!”

“Yeah he does!” Puck yelled, staggering over and throwing his arms around Blaine’s shoulders. “The question is, Blaine, do you share?”

“Fuck no!” Blaine grinned. “He’s all mine…”

Kurt raised his eyebrows and bit his lip, casually leaning back in his chair, with his thighs parted slightly. “Am I?”

Blaine was about to respond when Sam sang out, loud and clear,

“ But as long as you lick me so, let me cum, let me cum, let me cum! ”

Blaine cackled and threw his arms around Sam when the other man stumbled over and leaned heavily onto Blaine, looking down at Kurt with a raised eyebrow. He looked like he was about to comment when Blaine grinned and sang,

“But if you finally fuck me hard, all the way home I’ll be warm!”

“Blaine, oh my god!” Kurt laughed.

“Kurt, I just had the best idea!” Mike cried as he plonked himself down in a chair.

“Oh, no…”

“You and Blaine should sing a duet! Isn’t that your Christmas tradition?”

“We’ve never done it drunk…”

“It’s not nice to lie to your friends, Kurt!” Blaine scolded jokingly.

“But we’ve never duetted drunk!”

“Are you telling me you were sober in Just Can’t Get Enough or Somebody Loves You ?”

“More sober than you are right now!”

“Please, Kurt… Please sing with me?” Blaine begged, turning on the puppy eyes he knew Kurt could never say no to.

Kurt quirked an eyebrow, “Can you behave?”

“I promise!” Blaine agreed, “Best behavior only!”

“Fine, but only if we do Baby, It’s Cold Outside”

Blaine beamed. “Aww, you wanna sing our song?”

Kurt rolled his eyes and shoved Blaine toward the makeshift stage as he stood up and followed. Blaine grinned at him while he selected the song and the soft strains of the piano made their way around the room.

“I really can't stay,” Kurt sang, a small smirk coming to his lips as he remembered the first time he and Blaine had sung this together.

“But, baby, it's cold outside,”

“I've got to go away,”

“But, baby, it's cold outside.”

“This evening has been,”

“Been hoping that you'd drop in,”

“So very nice.”

“I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice…”

“My mother will start to worry,”

“Beautiful, what's your hurry?”

“My father will be pacing the floor,”

“Listen to the fire place roar,”

“So really I'd better scurry,”

“Beautiful, please don't hurry,”

“But maybe just half a drink more.”

“Put some records on while I strip.”

Blaine gave Kurt a cheeky grin and started unbuttoning his cardigan. Kurt looked over and raised an eyebrow as he watched Blaine strip off a layer. He refused to take part in the song massacre he had borne witness to tonight, no matter how much Blaine provoked him.

“The neighbors might think…”

“Baby, it's hot in here.”

“Say what's in this drink?”

“No relief to be found in here.”

“I wish I knew how…”

“Your eyes are like starlight now.”

“To break the spell.”

“I'll take your hat, your ass looks swell.”

“I ought to say no no no, sir.”

“Mind if I move in closer?”

“At least I'm gonna say that I tried.”

“What's the sense in hurting my pride?”

“I really can't stay.”

“Baby, don't hold out,”

“Oh, but it's hot inside!” they sang out together, Kurt shaking his head at himself for finally caving. With a sly smile, he stepped into Blaine’s personal space, pressing against him and running a finger over his bottom lip before leaning in and singing his next line, “I simply must go…”

“But, baby, it's cold outside.” Kurt could see Blaine’s Adam's apple bob as he stepped away, putting more space between them than there had been for the entire song.

“The answer is "No."

“But, my balls would freeze outside.”

“This welcome has been…”

“How lucky that they dropped in.”

“So nice and warm.”

Kurt turned to Blaine once more and ran a hand down his chest, fingers lightly curling around Blaine’s tie. He smirked when he saw Blaine inhale sharply and lean forward like he was about to kiss him before ducking out of reach. A touch of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets, after all. 

Kurt smirked as Blaine pulled him back in and sang his next line, his hands running down to the small of Kurt’s back, “I like your butt, it’s nice and firm.”

Kurt stepped back slightly, letting Blaine’s hands drag around the curve of his belt and sang, “You really are ridiculous…”

“Gosh your lips look delicious!”

“My brother is trying to sink through the floor.” A glance over at the couch told Kurt he wasn’t wrong, as Finn has his head buried in Elliott’s shoulder.

“You can cum over my chest for sure!”

Kurt stepped right into Blaine’s personal space, gripping the tie tightly in his fist and softly sang his next line right into the side of Blaine’s face, his hot breath tickling the shell of his ear, making Blaine shiver against him. “My retribution will be so vicious…”

“Ooh your lips are delicious,” Blaine pressed a teasing little kiss to the sweet spot just below Kurt’s ear.

“But maybe just a little bit more.”

“Never such deep throating before.”

“I’ve got to get drunk…”

“But, baby, this is all for you…”

“Say, hand me a shot?”

“I’ll get on my knees for you.” 

Elliott let out an ear splitting whistle, causing the rest of the room, who were entranced by their duet, to laugh loudly.

“You've really been ace.”

“I thrill when you fuck my face.”

“But don't you see,”

“Why won’t you do this thing for me?”

“There's bound to be rumors later.”

“Think of my bright-blue vibrator.”

“At least there will be plenty implied…”

“If you don’t give in, well I tried.”

“I really can't say…”

“Get over that hold out.”

Kurt sighed loudly as the instrumental interlude played and placed his hands over Blaine's mouth, preventing him from singing along. Instead of the traditional ending, he threw Blaine a wink and belted out, “Oh baby, I want your dick inside!”

Their friends cheered as Kurt finally gave in to the madness, but neither Kurt nor Blaine noticed. They were too busy devouring each other’s faces. Their arms were wrapped tightly around each other and they pressed their bodies impossibly closer together until Finn finally had enough and dumped a glass of water over their heads. 

“Finn Hudson, you are a dead man!”

Raucous laughter overpowered the end of the karaoke track as Finn bolted for the stairs. Kurt made to follow until a giggling Blaine grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him into his lap. "Yes!" Puck shouted from somewhere in the room. "Best party ever!"

It was a quiet group of men who made their way to the kitchen the next day. Carole and Burt had returned halfway through the morning, and, upon spotting the bodies strewn across various furniture in her living room, Carole immediately set out cooking up a storm. If there was one thing Carole Hudson-Hummel could never resist, it was feeding the people she loved. 

“Good morning, boys!” She greeted them cheerfully as they all shuffled around the table laden with every breakfast food imaginable. “I hope you're all hungry. You’ll definitely need the carbs based on the number of empty bottles I spotted in the trash…”

“Thanks Mom, it looks great.” Finn said, a little more subdued than usual. But even the hangover from hell couldn’t dampen his appetite and he loaded up his plate with everything he could reach. 

“Coffee, anyone? What about you, Elliot? Can I get you anything?” 

“I’d love a coffee, Mrs. H, thanks.”

“You’re welcome, sweetie.” she said, briefly laying her hand on his shoulder before bustling off. 

“How’s the hangover boys?” Burt asked loudly as he walked into the kitchen. 

“Shhh, Dad! Not so loud!” Kurt complained with a cringe. 

“You know what I said, Kurt, if you boys are old enough to drink, you’re old enough to bear the consequences.”

Burt walked over to the coffee maker and tried to pour himself a mug, but only a few drops were left in the pot. “Huh, well, I guess you guys probably need it more than I do at the moment. Did you all have fun last night?”

The guys all looked at each other from across the table. As much as they might want to forget certain things, it appeared they were sore out of luck. Blaine felt his cheeks grow hot and he lowered his gaze to his plate, determined to stay cool. 

Elliot, upon seeing his friends’ embarrassment, and knowing he had the least at stake, decided to bite the bullet. With a straight face, he looked Burt in the eye and said, “It was great, Mr. H!”