March 11, 2013, 8:52 a.m.
Lone neon nights
After having been to the movies with Adam, Kurt gets a text from Blaine.(text message format)Reaction fic to ep 4x15!
T - Words: 869 - Last Updated: Mar 11, 2013 1,754 0 10 4 Categories: Angst, Romance, Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel,
If the curve of you was curved on me
I'd tell you that I loved you before I ever knew you
'Cause I loved the simple thought of you
If our hearts are never broken and there's no joy in the mending
There's so much this hurt can teach us both
There's distance and there's silence, your words have never left me
They're the prayer that I say every day
[ "New York" - Snow Patrol]
(23.00)
Still snowed in?
(23.15)
Today was the first snow-free day. If I were to stay one more hour locked up with Santana and Rachel in the same room...I'm shuddering.
Remember that time it snowed during the night while you were over and we got to spend the whole day together?
(23:25)
I do. You wanted to make snow angels.
Snow angels are the best thing, Kurt, you know that.
You taught me that.
(23:30)
There are so many things I want to say about that day. I don't know if I can.
(23.50)
Kurt, you there? I didn't want to upset you.
I am here. I know what you mean. It's a bit like walking on uncharted territory, isn't it?
It is.
You're free to say what you want, though. We're friends.
What if the things I want to say are not the ones a friend would come up with?
(23.59)
I don't know.
Forget it. I am sorry I brought it up. I shouldn't have.
(00.01)
I hate it.
(00.05)
What do you hate?
The way things are now. Sometimes I think maybe we can't be friends.
(00.15)
Don't say that, please.
You know it's true. I just want to be over all of this.
(00.30)
Blaine?
(00.33)
I don't want to. I think I made it clear at the wedding. We clicked so perfectly, Kurt. You can't deny it. I certainly can't.
(00.40)
Blaine...don't. Just...let me go.
I did. You're in New York now, you've your life and Adam and I'm here. You are free. That doesn't mean I will lie to myself about what I feel for you.
You didn't tell him about the wedding, did you?
(00.43)
We watched Mulin Rouge yesterday. I cried.
I know you always cry when you watch that movie. I was the one who got to hold you close. Your heart always beat so fast.
(00.45)
I cried because of you.
What do you mean?
Come what may.
Our song.
(00.50)
See? That's what I mean. There shouldn't be an "our" anymore.
But there is. Kurt, I don't understand. What do you want me to do? Forget it all? Wipe away everything?
(00.52)
I don't think I am strong enough to do that. I am sorry.
I don't know what I want.
(0.55)
I want to be happy, but I'm stuck in this place where happiness is where you are and being with you hurts so much.
(00.57)
I watched that movie and all I saw was you. I can still hear your voice while you sang that song to me. I can still feel your arms around me.
How is that even fair?
(01.00)
I am sorry. I know I broke something. I can feel the shards under my skin. And I know it isn't fair. But we are in this together, Kurt.
(01.04)
Is it stupid that I want to hear your voice saying my name?
It isn't. I wish you were here.
He took me to the movies, you know? He wanted us to have "our own movie".
I came back home thinking it would never work and I hated myself for it.
(01.10)
Don't hate yourself. Never. You've done nothing wrong.
It hurts to know you want to leave what we had behind for good, but I get it. No one deserves to be happy as much as you do.
(01.20)
He won't make me happy. You were the one who could and now...
You were the only thing that truly made sense, you know? It wasn't because you were safe. You are a universe, Kurt. That makes you blinding but also a mystery.
(01.24)
That day, lying on the snow, I looked at you and thought that I wanted to share all of my winters with you.
(01.33)
I miss you. I know I shouldn't but I do.
I miss you too. I miss it all. Your smiles and your kisses and your tears. I belong with you, that much I know. Even if you don't want me.
(01.40)
I am so scared that I won't ever stop wanting you.
I am scared too.
(01.43)
You are everywhere you know? At first it was almost impossible to breathe. You're bathing in neon lights and new things, I live surrounded by you.
(01.50)
You are always here too, though. You never left. Is it supposed to work like this with first loves?
I don't know. What I know is that it doesn't feel like you're the first. You're the only.
(02.00)
It's late. We should go to bed.
And what will happen tomorrow? Will you just lock the door?
(02.05)
You know I won't. I can't.
I feel it sometimes.
What?
(02.08)
The thread between us. I thought it was broken but it keeps pulling. Can you feel it too?
(02.16)
Good night, Kurt. I love you. I truly do.
(02.45)
I do feel it. Sometimes it pulls so hard it hurts. I don't know if I'll ever be able to cut it. There's still too much love. Clogging me up, pulling me down. I am not ready to let go. And I knew it from day one, on that staircase at Dalton. I looked at you and knew I could never look away. I love you too. Too much.
Comments
Looooove it
Thank you so so much! <3
This such a huge compliment! Thank you so much! I am glad you think I managed to do justice to our boys' feelings <3
This was really good. You did a good job capturing how both of the boys are probably feeling at this point on Glee and it was great to see those emotions expressed.
Ahhhh my hearttttttt
*tries to put your heart back together* thank you for reading! <3
Oh, I am sorry if this was upsetting *hugs* I hope you enjoyed reading anyway <3
Sobbing in my room nbd
OMG! I nearly cried :(( I want more... I want them to be good with each other... I want them to come back to each other... I am really sad, that this is only a Oneshot... So beautiful but also sad... I truly love it! :) Greets Franzi
Aww I'm sorry for that, darling *hugs* I'm so happy that you liked this story! Thank you so so much! <3