There they were, the boxes. Containers of all different sizes were lined up in his room. Some cardboard boxes, a suitcase, quite a few plastic bins. A little less than a year ago, Kurt would have welcomed this sight. The sight of a change about to happen. That things were about to change. And yes, they were about to change. The boxes were the exact symbol of change actually. Sure, they were just boxes. And Kurt knew that. But Kurt also knew where these boxes would be going. They were making a one way trip to their long awaited destination. A small flat where Rachel’s boxes were waiting for them. A small flat where Rachel was waiting for Kurt.
A little less than a year ago, Kurt would have envied the confident boy he now stood beside in the full length mirror hanging by his dresser. But that was nearly a year ago. If he shifted his head, just a small fraction of a turn, he would see what had changed his mind and was making this so hard. Who was making this so hard.
Blaine lay sprawled across Kurt’s bed, his legs falling off of the edge of the bed, his arms resting over his face. Kurt bit his lip, he felt so guilty leaving Blaine behind. He knew Blaine didn’t want him to wait another year for him, and he knew Blaine would be along shortly after finishing his own senior year.
Kurt traced a finger from Blaine’s belly button to his chest, causing Blaine to roll over onto his stomach. Now Kurt sat next to him. Leaning over, Kurt draped his body over Blaine’s, running his hands through his soft, gel-free, and curly hair.
“Are you going to miss me?” Kurt said softly, his lips brushing against Blaine’s neck.
Blaine nodded, but didn’t speak. Kurt had a strong feeling he knew why. Blaine’s sniffling was barely audible but at this proximity Kurt could definitely hear it, and it told him he was right. Blaine was fighting off tears. Kurt pressed a kiss against Blaine’s neck, then stood, leaving Blaine belly down on the bed with his head buried in his arms.
Blaine looked up when the music started playing. Kurt stood above him, hand extended. Blaine let out a shaky laugh, taking Kurt’s hand and being pulled onto his feet. Kurt smiled lightly, but the sadness was thick in the air, he wrapped his arms around Blaine’s neck and Blaine rested his hands on Kurt’s hips as they stepped in time with the slow song. Kurt lowered his head, resting his cheek on Blaine’s shoulder. Blaine could feel the warm and uneven breath against his neck. A tear drop escaping from his eye, much against his will, and falling to Blaine’s shoulder.
Kurt lifted his head to look at Blaine, how silly it all must have looked, two boys dancing and crying, small smiles on their faces. Blaine wiped the stray tears from his own face, then from Kurt’s. “I love you.” He said “Promise you won’t find someone new in the big city?” Blaine was joking, clearly, but there was a hint of truth behind it and Kurt detected it. Therefore Kurt answered seriously.
“Never.” He said, staring into Blaine’s eyes. “Same goes for you. I’ve always been suspicious about a few of the Warblers.” The last part again a joke and they shared a small laugh.
They swayed in silence, the song long been over and they both fought for something to say to no avail. A knock came on the door and they broke apart. Burt opened the door, with a sympathetic look on his face.
“Ready?” He asked them and their eyes found their feet as they nodded. Blaine grabbed the suitcase from the row of boxes, everything else would be sent out later that day. He walked behind Kurt and Burt to the car where Finn and Carole were waiting to leave for the airport. Blaine felt like his heart was being squeezed, like it was about to burst. His throat knotted and rendered him completely speechless. He prayed that he would get through this without the water works.
Blaine put the suitcase in the back of Burt’s car, using the time now when no one was around to take a deep breath and clear his throat. He rounded the car smiling, everyone was in the car except for Kurt, and Blaine knew why. His smile faltered. The goodbye, the big goodbye. Kurt pushed off of the car door where he had been leaning and took Blaine into his arms. Kurt didn’t want to cry either, he gritted his teeth but tears still spilled down his face.
“Don’t cry, Kurt.” Blaine said wiping Kurt’s eyes with the sleeve of his cardigan. “We are going to see each other soon, only 4 months. Then you’ll be home for Christmas. And we’ll be together the whole time.” Blaine was smiling again, but it was forced, he felt so down and defeated.
“Call me every night?” Kurt asked
“Wouldn’t be able to sleep without hearing your voice.” Blaine laughed, his eyes squinting and a tear dripping down his cheek.
Kurt grabbed Blaine’s cardigan, pulling him in for a kiss. Blaine’s eyes opened in shock as their lips smashed together. When Kurt pulled away he wiped more tears from his face then whispered goodbye and got in the back of the car, leaving Blaine in the driveway as Burt pulled away.
Blaine waved as they pulled out of the driveway slowly. Then, inexplicably, he ran after the car as it drove down the street. He still waved but he just wanted to watch Kurt for as long as he could before he was gone. And as much as Blaine tried to keep the thought away, he knew this might be goodbye forever. Long distance relationships didn’t work out, that’s what his brother had told him once.
Kurt couldn’t help but look back as they approached the end of the street and there he saw Blaine, standing in the middle of the road waving. Kurt turned back to the front immediately in shock. “Dad,” He said quietly, and Burt looked at his stunned son from the inside rear view mirror.
“Yeah?” He asked slightly worried and Kurt felt all the eyes on him.
“Can you stop the car?” Kurt asked and tried to sound very calm, but his voice broke near the middle.
“What’s wrong?” Burt asked
“Just stop the car.” Kurt said too quickly. Burt stopped the car on the deserted street at the stop sign near the end of the street. Kurt quickly leaped from the car and ran down the street, everyone followed suit, getting out of the car, but didn’t run after him when they saw Blaine waiting.
Blaine waited, his arms open for Kurt to leap into, which he did. Blaine spun the porcelain skinned boy in a circle and was filled with relief. This wasn’t goodbye, not for good at least. They kissed a long, pleasant kiss filled with everything they couldn’t put into words.
“I love you,” Kurt said as his feet touched down on the ground again then he continued the kiss, his soft lips against Blaine’s slightly chapped but completely pleasurable ones. “I needed to tell you again before I left.” Kurt sighed
“Yeah yeah yeah,” Blaine mumbled, pulling Kurt’s chin closer to himself so they could kiss again, their smiling lips moving together, occasionally they smiled too wide and their teeth knocked together, but they didn’t care, not in the least.
They broke from the second kiss when the car horn sounded. Kurt looked over his shoulder to his father, who was giving him a ‘we’re going to be late’ sort of look. Then Kurt turned back to Blaine.
“I will call you when I get there.” Kurt said, taking a step back but not letting go of Blaine’s hand. He was smiling, that sad, depressed, broken feeling nowhere to be found. “Be around your phone at all times.” Blaine chuckled at Kurt’s order and nodded. Then Kurt kissed him once more, lightly, and started running back towards the car.
“I LOVE YOU TOO!” Blaine shouted, causing Kurt to look back over his shoulder. Kurt smiled and continued to the car. Before ducking into his seat he blew a kiss to Blaine.
“How did you leave it?” Burt asked as they began driving again
“I didn’t.” Kurt said “We aren’t leaving anything just because we are going to be apart.”