Blaine learns the hard way of how to not change his son Sammy.
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Early Monday evening found Kurt settling into the leather sofa in the home he shared with his husband Blaine. Kurt and Blaine Hummel-Anderson have been married for seven years and in those years, they have become comfortable and well-established in their careers: Kurt was a free-lance writer, focusing on men's fashion and upcoming trends, for all of the popular fashion magazines, which allows him to work from home. Blaine received his master's degree from Berklee College of Music and became a teacher at the local community college. Professor Blaine, as he was known amongst the faculty and student body, teaches several popular courses: all levels of piano, all levels of guitar, voice classes, and history of music. Both Kurt and Blaine love the jobs they do. Once settled in their careers, they found a 5-bedroom, 3-bathroom home with a gourmet kitchen and media room; it was located on a large corner lot in Connecticut, just outside of New York City.
Kurt and Blaine made the decision a few years ago that they wanted children. It took two-and-a-half years of lots of research, interviewing potential surrogates, and establishing a viable pregnancy. The happiest day of their lives was that 4th of July weekend their twins were born; the fathers named their children with a 4th of July theme in mind. Daughter Liberty and son Samuel (Sammy) were born on July 5th.
After putting the baby monitor on the side table, Kurt picked up his book, A Wrinkle in Time, and opened it to begin reading. Two chapters later, Kurt heard his husband return home.
“Honey, I'm ho-ome!” Blaine sing-songed as he closed the door.
Kurt rolled his eyes fondly in the direction of the front hall. “I'm in here sweetie,” Kurt called as he turned the page in his book.
Blaine walked into the living room and sat down next to his husband and grabbed his hand and interlaced their fingers. “Tell me about your day,” Kurt requested as he set aside his book.
“It was such a fantastic day! There's so much to tell you!” Blaine said excitedly. Three of the gifted students he was teaching, put on a recital that helped to secure each of them acceptance into Julliard. Just as Blaine began to tell his story, a wailing cry broke through the baby monitor.
“I'll go get the baby. Why don't you go get a drink and relax until I get back and then you can tell me about your day?” Kurt suggested as he got up and moved towards the babies' nursery.
“Nah, that's ok. I'll come with you. I wanna see the kids and tell you about my day,” Blaine said as he hung up his jacket by the door. He walked over to Kurt and took his hand as they walked into the nursery.
The couple walked over to the crib on the left and Blaine picked up the four-month old. “What's got my baby boy so upset?” he cooed as Sammy cried softly.
Kurt, who had gone over to Liberty's crib to check on her, sniffed with his nose and then his face wrinkled into a grimace. “Uh, sweetie, I'm pretty sure that Sammy needs a diaper change.”
Blaine walked over to Kurt as he rubbed circles into Sammy's back to soothe him. Kurt patted Liberty's back gently and then turned to Blaine. “Let me change him. You've had a long day,” Kurt said as he held his arms open.
Blaine, always looking for an excuse to not change diapers, agreed readily. “Sure,” he whispered as handed his son over.
Kurt softly bounced his son as he went over to the changing table. “Shhh, shhh, little Sammy. I'm gonna take care of you.” Sammy's crying subsided in to quiet whimpers. As Kurt gently set his son on the table, Blaine stood at the end of the table.
Blaine started to relay the story of his three students' successful recital. He sub-consciously tickled his baby's feet, making little Sammy smile and gurgle. As Kurt listened to Blaine's day, he pulled out all the things he needed to change Sammy: a clean diaper, the anti-bacterial baby wipes, baby powder, and Desitin diaper cream.
Still standing at the end of the changing table, Blaine stopped tickling Sammy's feet. Kurt placed his hand against the diaper and held it against Sammy's body. With the other hand, Kurt ripped the tape strips off the diaper. Kurt gagged a bit as he said, “I sure hope I get used to the smell of soiled diapers soon. I hate gagging every time I change Sammy and Libby!”
Blaine continued to tell Kurt his story and was not really paying attention to what Kurt was doing. As Kurt pulled the diaper down, Blaine took a pause in his story. And then he was hit square in the face with a stream of liquid.
“Wha, wha, what the hell?” Blaine spluttered as he tried to wipe his face clean. He glared at his husband.
Kurt, for his part, collapsed on top of the changing table in hysterical laughter. As soon as Sammy was exposed, he let out a long stream of urine that hit his daddy right in the face. Kurt tried to say something, but he kept stuttering over his laughter, he was laughing so hard.
“Kurt, it's not funny!” Blaine admonished his husband.
“Yes, it is Blaine!” Kurt cackled back, his body convulsing in laughter. “Standing where you are, you were just asking for it!” He stood back up and wiped the tears out of his eyes as his laughter changed into hiccups.
“What do you mean, standing where I am?” Blaine shot back. He took the baby wipe that Kurt handed him and started to wipe it over his face. Kurt gave him a look that clearly said “seriously?”
“Blaine, you're standing at the end of the changing table as I'm changing Sammy; a baby boy that shares the same external plumbing we do. What did you expect would happen?” Kurt said. “Rule number one of changing a baby boy: Never stand at the end of the table! It's pretty much guaranteed that the baby will launch a number one missile!” Kurt snickered at his husband as he finished cleaning and diapering Sammy.
Blaine's annoyance at his husband quickly morphed into self-conscious shyness at Kurt's observation. His cheeks colored lightly as he conceded, “You're right…I guess it was pretty funny.” He chuckled a bit.
“Well, anyway, thanks for the laugh; I really needed that!” Kurt said as he finished swathing Sammy in a blanket. He handed him to Blaine. He wiped Blaine's face with another baby wipe, paying close attention to his lips and then gave him a soft and loving kiss.
“Glad I could be of service,” Blaine replied. He returned Kurt's kiss and went over to the rocking chair in the corner. Liberty started to make quiet whimpering noises, so he went over and picked her up and sat down in the second rocking chair. Together, the two fathers rocked their children to sleep, as they enjoyed the peaceful serenity of their little family.