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Daddy's Pretty Toys

She crawls over to the opposite side, and leans down to grab something.She places a shoebox and the corresponding lid on her bed for both Kurt and Blaine to see.The whole. damn. shoebox. Some funny daddy!klaine to warm your heart. I hope.


T - Words: 1,474 - Last Updated: Aug 23, 2012
1,636 0 3 6
Categories: Humor,
Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel,
Tags: futurefic,

 

Sundays in the Anderson-Hummel household were always calm and casual. They liked it that way. For just one day a week, they stepped away from their busy schedules to just be together.

Kurt was reclined on their sofa, idly flipping through channels, with Blaine's head resting in his lap. The faint sounds of their six-year-old daughter, Tessa, playing in her room could be heard over the snippets of sound that make their way out of the speakers as Kurt continues to channel surf.

"Play with my hair." Blaine mumbles into Kurt's leg, unmistakably beginning to doze off in the comfortable, familiar position.

Kurt smiles fondly down at his husband as he finally halts on the Style channel, where a rerun of How Do I Look? is now playing on the TV screen. "You're like a damn puppy, Blaine."

Blaine ignores the comment, but turns his head to nuzzle into Kurt's crotch. Kurt tosses his head back with a buoyant laugh at his husband's absurdity. Regardless, he relents, winding his fingers into Blaine's curls, running through them smoothly as Blaine hums contently into Kurt's lap.

"You're the best husband I've ever had." Blaine's words half muffled in the material of Kurt's jeans.

"I bet you say that to all of your husbands." Kurt banters back.

"You've discovered my secret plot."

"I always do."

Kurt feels Blaine laugh softly into his leg, and a small smile works its way across his lips in response as he continues to stroke his husband's curls.

"You also have the best fingers. And out of my many husbands, I swear you're the only one I've told that to, ‘cause I mean it. Your fingers are sinfully talented, Mr. Anderson-Hummel."

"Well, I try." Kurt replies with faux haughtiness.

"You succeed with flying colors." He cranes his head up for a kiss, which Kurt instantly supplies.

They both turn back to the TV then, Blaine half-sleeping, and Kurt making random criticisms about how hideous the outfits chosen are for the contestant.

The time passes slowly, but comfortably. Blaine has definitely fallen asleep on his lap now, and Kurt's leg is starting to go numb from the pressure.

The things he does for his husband.

All of a sudden, he hears a loud "PEW! PEW! PEW!" sound from his daughter's room.

Kurt raises an eyebrow in admirable confusion at what game Tessa might be playing.

"You're going to jail Mr. Bear!" he hears her cute little voice scold. "Put on these handcuffs!"

Kurt is taken aback when he hears an actual clink of metal. He clicks off the TV and shakes Blaine awake lightly. "Blaine? Honey?"

Blaine makes a series of groaning, muffled sounds, and flails his hand around in a "leave me alone" gesture.

Kurt sighs, standing up abruptly. Blaine thrashes at the lost headrest, eventually landing with a hard thunk on the floor. Blaine's head whips from side to side. "What?!"

Kurt laughs heartily, holding a hand out for Blaine, who takes a hold of it and pulls himself up.

"What was that for!"

Kurt stifles a grin, brushing off the allegation, and going on with his original question. "Blaine, did you buy Tessa toy handcuffs?"

Blaine furrows his eyebrows. "Uh...no? Not that I know of. Why?"

"Come on." Kurt grasps Blaine's hand and pulls him toward Tessa's room.

"You have a right to retain silent!"

Blaine chuckles at the butchered phrase uttered by his six-year-old daughter. Kurt pushes the door open to her room, and Tessa looks up, startled.

"Oh, hi daddy and papa..." she says, a bit guiltily.

Kurt and Blaine's eyes go wide, both seeing it at the same time.

In front of Tessa, there's a regular Barbie doll as a police officer, and a big stuffed bear as a criminal. That isn't the troublesome part. The bear is, indeed, wearing handcuffs.

Black. Fuzzy. Sexy. Handcuffs.

"Tessa, where in the world did you get those?" Kurt reprimands, struggling to keep the hysteria out of his voice. Tessa looks down, tracing patterns into the carpet with her finger, saying nothing.

Kurt turns to Blaine, finding him still stunned and practically biting a hole into his lip.

"Tessa Elizabeth, where did you get those?" Kurt insists, much more sternly.

Tessa's lip begins to quiver. "‘Ur ‘oom." She mutters.

"Excuse me?"

"Your room..." She repeats, louder.

Kurt sees Blaine run a hand through his hair, shaking his head, hearing a faint "Shit."

"Tessa, give me those right now."

She nods slowly, pulling the cuffs off of the bear, and handing them up to Kurt. He takes them, and holds them out to Blaine, who grabs for them absently, and stuffs them in his back pocket. His cheeks are alight with shame as he continues to bite into his lip.

"What else did you take, Tess?" Kurt inquires, lightening the intensity of his tone.

"Nothing!" She squeaks, but she gets up off the floor and begins walking backward anxiously toward her bed, her face contorted in remorse.

"Tessa." Kurt scolds once again.

"I'm sorry daddy!" She cries out, plopping down on her bed. She crawls over to the opposite side, and leans down to grab something.

She places a shoebox and the corresponding lid on her bed for both Kurt and Blaine to see.

The whole. damn. shoebox.

Blaine's face drops into his hands audibly.

Tessa fiddles with her comforter. "I just wanted to play with your pretty toys, daddy. Please don't be mad. I'm sorry."

Kurt heaves a sigh, padding over to the bed. First things first, he replaces the top onto the box, just so he doesn't have to look at them while right next to his daughter. He shoves the box to the side and sits next to his daughter on the bed. She immediately wraps herself around his waist, burrowing her face into his chest.

He strokes her sleek brown hair lovingly, hushing her. "It's fine, baby." He kisses her head.

Then Blaine is there, kneeling in front of the bed and placing another kiss onto his daughter's head and running a finger along her cheek. "Look at me, baby." He encourages. She sniffles, but does as Blaine asks.

"You're mad."

Blaine shakes his head with a warm smile. "We're not mad, baby. Maybe a bit...disappointed. But we could never be mad at you."

She holds her arms out, and Blaine scoops her up. She puckers her lips to land a tiny kiss on Blaine's lips. Blaine smiles again. "We love you baby," Blaine begins.

"I love you too." She chimes in, interrupting him momentarily.

"But," he advances, a little more firmly, "You are not allowed to take daddy or papa's things without asking, ok?" Tessa nods largely. "Some things aren't for little girls to play with. They're just for big adults."

Tessa nods again with understanding. "I'm sorry, papa."

"You're very forgiven, baby." He replies, kissing her again on the forehead.

She turns again to face Kurt on the bed. "I'm sorry daddy."

Kurt grins. "I guess I forgive you too, if papa does."

She squeaks out a joyful sound, jumping onto Kurt. He makes a little breathless "harumph" noise as she lands heavily on him, but he retains his smile in spite of it. He kisses her cheek soundly. "Love you, baby. But no going in our room without us, missy."

She nods again, rapidly. "Can I play again?"

They acquiesce and she dives once more for her Barbie and stuffed bear. Kurt secures the box under his arm as both he and Blaine head out of the room.

"Hey, daddy, papa?" Tessa calls, before they exit.

"Yeah, baby?" Kurt spins around.

"Can I get a toy like the long, pink, buzzy one in there?" she asks innocently. So, so innocently.

Kurt smacks a hand to his mouth to cover his laugh. Blaine blushes again, but jumps in with a response. "No, honey. Maybe when you're thirty like us, ok? No earlier."

"Why?" she asks, face twisting in adorable bewilderment.

"Another thing we'll discuss when you're a bit older, baby."

"But I am older!" she argues.

"When you're older older." Blaine counters.

Tessa is still pouting when they shut the door.

They rush into their bedroom, dropping the box onto their bed.

"Oh my fucking god." Blaine finally lets out, exasperated. With a relieved grin, he twirls around to face Kurt, to discover him advancing dangerously on Blaine. Face dropping, Blaine begins backing up against the bed nervously, and Kurt can definitely see where Tessa gets it.

"Whose turn was it to hide the kink box last time, dear?" Kurt speaks the last word with ostentatious sarcasm.

Blaine swallows, the backs of his knees bumping up against the bed. He whips his head back toward where's he's tripped up against the bed, and begins scooting to the side, toward the wall. His hands fly up in a sign of surrender. Kurt doesn't ease up on his prowl.

"I thought I hid it well, Kurt, I swear! I don't know how she-"

Kurt slams Blaine up against the wall with blunt force, face pressing in hazardously close to Blaine's. Their breath mingles hotly together, as Blaine feels sweat bead at his hairline.

Kurt's lips curl into a wicked, terrifying grin as Blaine licks his lips apprehensively.

"You are in so much trouble, Mister."

So much for a calm, casual Sunday.

 


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Omg she is six year old so one day when she is older she will totally remember seeing those toys and realise what her dads used them for! I can't stop laughing xD

I couldn't contain my laughter, and it's nearly 5 in the morning!