Dear Kurt,

I know I screwed up. A lot. And I am not even sure whether you will read this or not but I have to try. You don’t pick up my calls and I don’t know how to approach you. I need to tell you how sorry I am. There is no excuse for what I did. It meant nothing and I shouldn’t have done that. I know it. You have every right to be angry and disappointed. I feel awful. I’ve felt awful for a long time now…You left me here and suddenly there was emptiness. You said I wouldn’t be alone back in Ms. Pillsbury office. Do you remember that? You said you would Skype me every day but you didn’t keep your promise. I know I sent you to New York. You belong there, I don’t regret doing it. There was nothing left for you in Ohio. Soon it seemed to me like I wasn’t good enough for you. I stopped counting how many times you hang up the phone before I had a chance to say I love you when I reached the number twenty-five in one week. You were so distracted by everything that you didn’t see how miserable I was. But I don’t blame you. What I did was wrong and it’s all my fault. I didn’t expect my senior year to be magic. I just wanted it to be bearable. I tried to talk to you but you cut our calls short and then one day I reached the bottom and…I don’t know why I did it, Kurt. It wasn’t about temptation. It was more about someone finally taking an interest in me, I guess. It was wrong. It was so wrong. I should have tried to talk to you more. I should have come to see you earlier. There are so many things I could have done instead…But I didn’t. I can’t change the past, Kurt. If I could, I would. I swear I would give my everything to turn back the time. But it’s impossible. I miss you. I was lonely before but now I am lonely and alone and all I can think about is how to make you forgive me. Please, tell me what I should do and I will do it. I need you, Kurt. I love you so much it literally hurts. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, sometimes I feel like I can’t even breathe without you. I depend on you and I know it’s not healthy but I can’t help it. You are the love of my life. Please, give me a chance. Please, forgive me. I love you. I want to be with you. There is no one in this world for me. Just you. It will always be you. Because you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. Kurt, please, tell me how to fix it…

Love,

Blaine

Kurt had read the email so many times he had memorized it. Every time he cried and ended curled up on his bed. He couldn’t forgive Blaine. He felt lost, deluded and miserable. The thought that he had made Blaine feel lonely because he had been so caught up in his new life made him sick. His Blaine had felt bad because of him and he hadn’t been there for him. Still, he couldn’t speak to him. It would hurt too much. The feelings of guilt were replaced by the feelings of disgust after a while. It was always like that. At first, he felt awful for how he had treated Blaine and then he felt even worse because there had been someone else touching Blaine, someone else hugging Blaine and kissing him. There had been someone else and it was wrong, because it should have always been just Kurt there.

After two weeks of moping around the apartment, Rachel gave him a pep talk. She couldn’t stand seeing him so torn apart any more.

“Kurt, you should talk to him. He is calling you every single day. You get the flowers several times a week. Your email box is full of apologies. He doesn’t even know if you are broken up! He still loves you, Kurt. He did an awful thing but after what you’ve been through he doesn’t deserve this kind of treatment. If you can’t forgive him, at least tell him you two are over.”

Kurt didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know if they were over. Every time he thought about picking up Blaine’s call, images of someone else being with Blaine popped up in his head and he wasn’t able to speak so he just cancelled the call or let the phone ring until Blaine stopped calling. He was aware how much he was hurting Blaine but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Blaine was a mess. He barely slept, he barely talked. He was sad and broken. He managed to get through his days somehow but it took a lot of energy. He quit all the clubs he had signed up for in the beginning of the year. He resigned on the function of the senior class president and the only club he was still a member of was the glee club. He went there and sat in the last row, apart from everybody. He didn’t try for solos. He was okay with singing back up. The only reason he still went there was that he and Kurt had used to be happy in the choir room. Maybe he was deliberately torturing himself, attending the places connected with Kurt but he needed something. He desperately needed at least a small piece of Kurt in his life, even if it was just a memory. He let himself be dragged in to the school musical. He did it for Finn, who directed it, because Finn tried to be his friend despite the fact he was the reason his brother was hurting. Going to classes and rehearsing the musical was his only contact with his friends. He didn’t speak if he wasn’t spoken to. He shut himself out. 

It was exactly four weeks since the big New York fiasco as Blaine called the day when his world had fallen apart. He was lying on his bed, pretending to be asleep so his parents would let him be. There was nothing for him to do. As he wasn’t sleeping at night, his school work was always done in advance. He was avoiding his friends because they probably hated him anyway for what he did. They were Kurt’s friends first after all. Rachel and Finn made an effort to talk to him sometimes and he was polite and answered their questions and asked them how they were but the truth be told he couldn’t wait for the conversation to be over. He had nothing. He had ruined everything with one mistake and he was going to pay for it for the rest of his life. He felt like he didn’t deserve anything. Not even Kurt’s forgiveness. But he had to at least try to get it. He called him every day. He texted him every day. He sent him emails and flowers but he was still left with a silent treatment.

The phone rang. Blaine’s heart started to beat faster and the tears filled his eyes. He picked up the call.

“Hello?”

“Hi. It’s me…” Kurt whispered, not sure whether he could really do this without breaking down.

“Yeah, I know…”

“We should talk.” Kurt said and waited for the response but Blaine stayed quiet, so he continued.

“I’m sorry I didn’t pick up your calls. I just…I didn’t know what to say. Actually, I still don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to fix it.” His voice broke and Blaine could tell he was crying now.

“I’m thinking about it permanently and I don’t know what to do. I still don’t have a solution. It hurts too much, Blaine. Every time I close my eyes I see someone else touching you and…how could you do that to us?” Suddenly Kurt started to laugh. “God, why am I asking something like that? I know how you could do that. You felt lonely and invisible. You needed someone to care about you. I needed the exact same thing when I was texting with Chandler. But I wouldn’t hook up with him!” Kurt was yelling now. “I wouldn’t, because it was something that was ours, Blaine. We were intimate because we loved each other. We had sex because it was another form of saying I love you. And you destroyed it. You made it seem like it’s nothing. Like it’s not about being connected with the other. You’ve changed the act of love to something that helps you get off! I can’t do this. It hurts too much…I don’t think we can fix it.” There was a long silence. None of them said anything. They both heard sobbing on the phone. A few minutes passed.

“You have nothing to tell me?” Kurt asked when he couldn’t listen to crying Blaine anymore. He was broken and hurt. He was angry and disappointed. But making Blaine cry made him feel like a monster. His first instinct was to wipe Blaine’s tears away so being the reason for them was hard to accept.

“I’m so sorry, Kurt. I know it’s not enough. One word can’t change what I did no matter how many times I say it. But I am sorry. I love you. I love you so…” And the line went dead. Blaine dialed Kurt’s number but after two rings it went straight to a voice mail. Kurt had hung up on him. Blaine knew what it meant. They were over.

Dear Blaine,

I am sorry I hung up on you. I couldn’t handle it. That’s why I’m writing this. I’m sorry I was a bad boyfriend. I’m sorry I put my work first. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. I would love us to be together more than anything in this world, but I can’t do this. When I think about us being in a relationship again, I always wonder what would happen if I did something wrong. Would you run to another boy again? I can’t keep going. I don’t trust you anymore. I don’t doubt you love me. I never did. I just feel like you don’t love me enough not to hurt me. The long distance relationship is hard and with what happened between us I don’t think it is going to work. Leaving you is the hardest decision I have ever made. But there is no way we could fix us. You were the best first love I could ask for. Thank you for being my everything. Thank you for every first I could experience with you. I will never regret it was with you. I’m sorry I messed things up by moving out to New York. Please, forgive me.

Kurt 

If Kurt thought his life had been over before, pushing the send button changed his mind. He felt awful. He couldn’t even tell Blaine. He wrote it and sent it as a coward. Everything was ruined. He was on his own. With visions of a successful career, with old and new friends, with supporting family, but without Blaine. What was the point of going on without him? Would the pain ever go away? Why Blaine didn’t love him more? Why did he go to New York? Why didn’t he wait for Blaine in Lima? Yes, he wasn’t satisfied with his life back then, but at least he was happy with Blaine. Now he had almost everything – appreciation, support, freedom  -but he would gladly exchange it for a boy with hazel eyes and too much gel in his hair. He wanted to get on the plane and go home to see Blaine a million times since their last meeting. But then he realized he couldn’t even look at him without breaking down. He couldn’t hug and kiss him without thinking about the other guy that had done it not so long ago.

Blaine continued in calling Kurt every day despite the break–up email. He knew they were over, he didn’t call Kurt to beg to take him back. He called Kurt because he needed his best friend. He needed Kurt in his life in any form Kurt was willing to give him. Unfortunately, Kurt didn’t want him in his life at all. Blaine had nothing. He didn’t see the concerned faces of his parents and friends. He didn’t see how much they tried to be there for him. He backed away from everybody.

The opening night of the musical came and he promised himself he would do his best to give a great performance. Finn deserved it. Other cast members deserved it. They had worked hard and the least he could do to contribute to the success was to be the best. It was a progress. For the first time in weeks he thought about himself as a part of the group. He felt good on the stage. He couldn’t say he was happy but he wasn’t sad either and it was a big step towards healing. Everything went well until the break between two acts. Last year’s seniors came backstage and Blaine was lost again. He was seeking Kurt between them but he wasn’t there. He thought Kurt had stayed in New York, but then he heard Rachel talking to Tina about Kurt being in audience. Blaine wasn’t stupid. Kurt didn’t want to meet him. He would rather spend the break alone on the seat than come backstage where he would definitely run to Blaine.

Blaine excused himself from the after party. He had said he would go earlier, but he wanted to give Kurt a chance to spend some time with his friends. Blaine was sure Kurt wouldn’t go if he was there, so he went home and cried himself to sleep.

The glee club was full of his old friends on Monday after the opening night. Everybody was there. Everybody except Kurt. Blaine entered the room and sat down on his usual spot in the last row. Some people came to talk to him and he answered their question, he even asked them how they were doing but he was distracted. He was waiting for Kurt to come. If everybody was there, Kurt had to be as well. He wouldn’t have missed the opportunity for a reunion. But when the bell rang and Mr. Schuester welcomed the old glee kids back, Blaine understood Kurt wasn’t coming. It was too much to handle. Suddenly the place was too small and overcrowded. He couldn’t breathe. He stood up and left without saying a word. He didn’t notice Rachel following him.

“Blaine! Blaine, stop!” She shouted at him and Blaine halted. He fell down on the floor, his back leaning against the lockers.

“Why did you leave?”

“He didn’t come with you. He hates me so much he can’t even be in the same room with me.” The tears were streaming down his face. Rachel’s heart broke again as every time she saw Kurt cry. She sat next to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulder.

“Blaine, he doesn’t hate you. He still loves you. It just hurts him so much to see you broken.”

“I screwed up everything. I lost him because of one big mistake. You know how they say you have the right to make mistakes? Why don’t they say you also have to pay for them? I know I don’t deserve his forgiveness. I know he’ll never be mine…I miss him. He was my best friend. I need my friend back. Nobody ever understood me the way he did. And it’s selfish to want him back. I hurt him and it’s natural he doesn’t want to talk to me. I lost the best thing I’ve ever had. How could I do that?” Rachel was surprised by Blaine’s outburst. It was the longest speech he had given since that disastrous night in New York. She hugged him tight and let him cry on her shoulder. He told her more. He told her how he felt and how nothing made sense anymore. He told her how much he loved Kurt and how sorry he was although it didn’t make any difference, because Kurt wouldn’t listen to him. He told her how lonely he was and how desperately he wanted the pain to go away. He told her how he didn’t know how to live his life without Kurt and how he wanted someone to be around but how at the same time he pushed people away. He told her everything he had been keeping inside of him for so long. And it helped. Sometimes just saying something out loud helps.

“Blaine, you have to stop beating yourself up for what happened. You can’t change it. Don’t shut yourself out. You still have lots of people who care about you and love you no matter what. Let us help you. Let us be there for you when you need us. You can’t do this on your own. Nobody says you should be all smiley and happy. But let people share your pain. Everything is better when there is a shoulder to cry on.”

“I can’t, Rachel. You all are great, but he was your friend first…”

“It’s not a popularity contest. We love you both. Just because you are not together it doesn’t mean we are not your friends. We are. We’re here for you the same way we are here for him. The kids in the glee club are hopeless because they don’t know how to help you. They see the shadow that becomes of you every day and they don’t know what to do because you don’t let them in. You’re not alone. You may not have Kurt but you have us. Please, Blaine. We miss you.”

Kurt lost his enthusiasm. He was a great worker, his boss was really satisfied with his work but he had changed. He made everything with perfection but his heart wasn’t in it. He loved it when he had a lot of work. He didn’t have the time to think about how bad his life turned out to be. Blaine still called him every day and he still didn’t answer the phone. Kurt had cried hard when Rachel told him Blaine wasn’t going to school before Christmas so Kurt could come and visit the glee club with the others. He did the same thing two more times the old glee kids planned their reunion. Sweet, caring Blaine, who always put Kurt’s feelings first. Kurt couldn’t understand why he had ever taken Blaine for granted. It was because of him that Blaine had felt lonely. He had made Blaine feel like he hadn’t loved him enough to carry on. He wanted to trust him again. He wanted to call this beautiful boy his but he couldn’t. He thought the pain would go away after some time but it was still present. It didn’t hurt less. He just got used to it.

His colleagues told him to date. To find out what he was missing in someone else. And he tried. He went on dates but never passed more than three with one person. They were great but their eyes weren’t hazel enough and their hair lacked the amount of gel that would keep the curls under the control, because there were no curls. Their smile wasn’t genuine enough, their voice wasn’t soft enough or they were too tall. And their kisses didn’t take his breath away…

Everything changed one day when he jumped to a familiar face in the streets of New York. Chandler became a big part of his life. He made him smile again and Kurt gained some of his lost enthusiasm. Chandler helped him out of his shell and Kurt decided to give their relationship a try. There weren’t butterflies in his stomach when he was with him, but Chandler made him feel good and maybe that’s what the mature relationship is about. Understanding, friendship and caring about the other.

They were at Kurt’s apartment. Chandler was waiting for Kurt to get ready for their date when Kurt’s phone rang. It was Blaine. Chandler knew Blaine was calling Kurt every day. He knew Kurt wouldn’t pick up the phone but he didn’t like it. He didn’t want to argue with Kurt about it but he thought Kurt should have told Blaine to back off long ago.

“Hello?” He said to the phone without thinking.

“H-Hi. Kurt?” Blaine stuttered, partially surprised that his call had been answered and partially confused by the voice on the other end of the line.

“No. This is Chandler.”

“Can I talk to Kurt?”

“No. Kurt is not here. If he were, he wouldn’t pick up. Why don’t you let him be? You’ve been doing this for months and he’s never talked to you. Stop bothering him.”

“I’m sorry, but he hasn’t said anything. He never told me to stop…”

“Yeah, well, now I’m telling you.”

“You have no rights to speak for him.”

“I’m his boyfriend. I have the right to want what’s the best for him. You calling every day is keeping him in his past. Let him move on.”

“Boyfriend?”

“Yes, boyfriend.”

“Okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t know he had a boyfriend. I won’t hassle him anymore.”

“Thank you.” Chandler was not proud of himself but Blaine was a threat. He needed to clear things up.

“Who were you talking to?” Kurt asked him when he came to the room.

“Blaine.”

“Blai- what?!”

“He was calling again so I told him to stop.”

“You can’t be serious right now! Why were you answering my phone?”

“I have had enough of Blaine hanging over my head, Kurt! Why didn’t you tell him to stop? You wouldn’t pick up either way! Is it because you are still in love with him? Do you like the idea that he still cares about you enough to keep calling you? I know what he is doing! I’ve been doing the same thing a year ago. I stopped when you told me to stop. I know he would stop as well he just needed to be told.”

“You have no right to talk to him. You have no right to tell him to stop. I don’t want him to stop!”

“Why not? He hurt you. He cheated on you! He is an asshole that he ever let you go!”

“Get out!”

“What?”

“GET OUT! Don’t you ever dare talk about him like that. You have no idea what we’ve been through. You have no idea how much he still means to me. You have no idea how much I pray to have strength to pick up that stupid phone!”

“I can’t do this, Kurt. I tried to be patient but it’s too much. I did my best to be a good boyfriend but he is like a ghost accompanying us all the time. You never make the first move. I initiate all of our physical contact. I have to take your hand, I have to lean and kiss you. I have to hug you. I have to tug you close to cuddle when we are watching movie. I know you are comparing us. I’m not him. I’ll never be him. Either forgive him or move on. You’re throwing your life away for your high school sweetheart. I’m not going to be part of it. It’s not fair to me!”

“You’re right. It’s not fair. But you knew. I told you I’m not over him yet. You said you wanted to give it a try. Don’t blame it all on me. I really wished you would be the one I could fall in love with.”

“But I’m not.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Goodbye, Kurt.”

Since the hallway talk with Rachel, Blaine had come to life a little. He wasn’t his old self anymore but he wasn’t avoiding his friends either. He had a decent senior year. He missed Kurt every day and he never stopped in his effort to make Kurt talk to him but he learnt how to live with a broken heart. He refused to date. He thought it wasn’t fair to go on dates when he was still in love with Kurt.

The graduation came and Blaine couldn’t wait for it to be over. The last year was one big disaster and he was looking forward to leaving Ohio and starting his new life. He was rushing to the auditorium where the ceremony was held when a soft voice stopped him.

“Excuse, me. Can I ask you a question? I’m new here.” Blaine’s heart skipped the beat. He was craving for that voice. He hadn’t been able to listen to it for long months and now he wasn’t sure if he was dreaming or if Kurt was really there and speaking to him. He turned around.

“Kurt…” A barely audible whisper but Kurt heard it.

“So what exactly is going on here?”

“What…Why…” Blaine couldn’t hold on to the track of his thoughts. “You’re talking to me…”

“I came to your graduation. You were at mine and it helped me not to stumble on the stairs…and you gave me a handkerchief. I need to return a favor. I also couldn’t miss Brittany say something hilarious as they voted her for having a speech.”

“Yeah, she is great…”

“Could you…Do you think we could maybe meet later today at the Lima Bean when you finish celebrating with your family?”

“I’m not celebrating with my family. We had a dinner yesterday. I told them I had another plan.”

“Oh…and what about tomorrow? Could we meet?”

“We can meet today after the ceremony.”

“But you had a plan.”

“No, I don’t. I was about to drive around and say goodbye to all the places I like here.”

“Okay. After the ceremony. Break a leg.”

Blaine didn’t remember going on the stage. He didn’t remember singing. He didn’t remember getting his diploma. He didn’t remember Brittany’s speech. But he did remember Kurt in the audience. He did remember his smile and it was all he could ask for, the best graduation gift.

They drove to the Lima Bean in Blaine’s car. When they entered the coffee shop, the familiar scent surrounded them and suddenly Blaine didn’t feel good. The place was sacred for their relationship and there was no Kurt and Blaine anymore. He couldn’t just sit there and act like nothing happened. He asked Kurt if they could drink coffee in his car and it seemed like Kurt understood.

They were sitting on the back seats of Blaine’s car, drinking coffee in silence. Blaine finished his medium drip first and he just played with his cup, not sure how to start the conversation. Kurt found it adorable. He took the cup from Blaine’s hands and put it on the ground with his own. Their eyes met and Kurt couldn’t resist. He finally looked in the eyes that were hazel enough. He leaned to Blaine and connected their lips in a soft kiss. And yes, it took his breath away. He tilted his head and deepened it. There were no thoughts about someone else doing it before. He completely forgot why he ever let Blaine go. All he knew was that he needed more. They broke apart to catch their breath and without hesitation they went for another kiss. Everything felt right. Their mouths and tongues moved with such ease as it was just yesterday they did this. Kurt cupped Blaine’s cheeks, bringing him closer but it still wasn’t enough. He wanted to feel him skin on skin to believe this was actually happening. They exchanged a few heated kisses but when Kurt’s hand found his way to Blaine’s belt, Blaine pulled away.

“Kurt, stop.” Kurt raised his head and looked at him with confusion.

“Why?”

“Because it’s not right. You have a boyfriend. You don’t want to cheat on him, trust me. If someone had stopped me several months ago I would have been with you right now. But I’m not. We can’t do this. You don’t even want me, you want the old Blaine. The one who cared about you enough not to cheat on you. You don’t know me anymore. I’m not the same person you fell in love with more than two years ago. I…so much has changed. I would like to tell you everything. I still consider you my best friend although we haven’t been in touch for so long. I missed you, Kurt. And it took a lot of time to get myself from the hell I’ve been through, so if you don’t want to stay in touch with me, please, leave right now. I know it’s my fault you didn’t talk to me. I have no right to ask anything from you, but please, for all the good that was between us, don’t give me a hope I could get my best friend back if you didn’t mean it. Please…” Blaine begged with tears in his eyes.

“I don’t have a boyfriend. We broke up because he answered your call. I think I’m glad he did. You weren’t calling anymore and I felt like I lost you again. So I came here. I missed you too. I want my best friend back as well. I know we both have changed. People change. I would love to be your friend again.”

“Thank you.”

“So what are your plans for summer?” Kurt asked. Maybe they should start with something easy.

“I’m going to New York tomorrow. Cooper’s friend runs a music camp there and I’m going to work as a counselor. Then I’m starting a music program at NYU.”

“You are going to be in New York?”

“Yes.”

“For the whole summer and then for the college?”

“Yes.”

“Great! Oh my god, I can’t believe it. Rachel will be so happy.”

“Rachel knows…”

“Why didn’t she tell me?”

“I don’t know…”

“So, when is your flight tomorrow?”

“I’m driving my car there. I’m leaving at around six in the morning.”

“Would you mind if I join you?”

“What?!”

“We could take turns so you won’t have to drive all the way. And it is handy to have company for such a long journey. We can get to know each other…”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes. You know, it’s like When Harry met Sally. They drove to New York together.”

Renewing the friendship was easier than they thought. They fell into a comfortable routine of hanging out and it seemed as they had never been anything else than two best friends. They were both happy and Blaine swore he wouldn’t do anything that could make Kurt not talk to him again.

It was Blaine’s first week of college. Kurt was meeting him in their favorite coffee shop. Although it wasn’t the Lima Bean, they knew this was their place in New York. When Kurt came to the shop, he saw Blaine talking to a tall guy. They were smiling and the guy was obviously flirting with him. It was strange for Kurt. He had seen how Sebastian had flirted with Blaine but he had been Blaine’s boyfriend then. Did he have a right to be jealous of him now? Shouldn’t he be happy for his best friend? Shouldn’t he support him?

“Hi.” Kurt walked to their table and the guy immediately stood up.

“Okay. I’m gonna go. See you tomorrow, gorgeous. Can’t wait for the concert.” He winked at Blaine and left.

“Hi.” Blaine smiled at Kurt and Kurt returned the smile but Blaine knew it was forced.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“Nothing. Just a hard day. You know, school, work and all that. So, who was he?”

“A classmate. His friend has a rock band and they are having a concert. We are going together.”

“As a date?”

“What?”

“Is it a date? I mean, he is really good-looking and you seemed to enjoy his company.”

“I don’t know. He said nothing about a date. We’re just going as friends, I guess.”

“Do you want it to be a date?”

“What?” The conversation was confusing Blaine more and more.

“Do you want to go on a date with him?”

“No!”

“Why not? He apparently likes you. He was flirting with you when I came here. You’re in New York, Blaine. There are so many opportunities for dating hot guys.”

“I don’t want to.”

“But why not?”

“What’s wrong with you today? Why are so persistent about it?”

“I just don’t get why you don’t want to go on a date with someone who is really into you.”

“Because I don’t!” Blaine said in a harsh voice.

“But why?”

“God, Kurt! Don’t you get it? How can I date someone when all I can think about is you? How can I date someone when I only want to hug and kiss you? I’m not over you. I won’t lead anybody on. Do you know how hard it is not to take your hand over the table when we are sitting somewhere or to wrap my arm around your waist when we are walking? You’re my best friend. And I’m glad you let me back into your life. I realize I don’t deserve that after what I did. But it won’t stop me from wanting more. I won’t act on it. I swear. I won’t. I just can’t date anyone right now…I’m sorry. I need to go. Call you later, okay?” Blaine literally disappeared from the coffee shop. Kurt ran for him and he found him sitting on the bench in the park where they had practically broken up almost a year ago.

“Why did you leave?”

“Because I’m a disappointment.”

“You’re not!”

“Kurt, please. I need some time. I’ll be okay. I know I shouldn’t have said anything. I don’t want it to be awkward between us now. I really appreciate your friendship and I can’t lose you again.”

“Go on a date with me.”

“What?!”

“Go on a date with me. Seeing you with that guy make me sick. I was jealous. I realized I want to give us a try.”

“I’m not the boy you want to date.”

“Yes, you are. I know we’re not the same. We grew up. But I still think we could have a chance.”

“Are you sure? Because I know I won’t be able to handle another heart break if you change your mind.”

“I’m sure. Let me take you out tomorrow.”

“I can’t believe you took me to the Empire state building.” Blaine laughed when they were safe on the ground again.

“What? You’ve never been there and the view is amazing!”

“I was afraid I’m gonna fall down.”

“I wouldn’t let you fall. It’s not even possible to fall down if you’re not committing suicide, silly.”

“Maybe, but the feeling was still there.”

“Let’s go. I’ll take you to your dorm.” Kurt grabbed his hand and led him to the subway station. They held hands all the way to Blaine’s dorm room. It felt familiar yet new at the same time. They stole a few glances, they were blushing a little when they were caught and Kurt knew he was wrong when he thought understanding, friendship and caring for the other was enough for the relationship. Maybe for someone it was enough but he needed chemistry and attraction. He needed butterflies in his stomach and tingling skin under the touch of the other.

“Thank you for an amazing evening.” Blaine said when they reached his room.

“Thank you for going with me.”

“I would go everywhere with you…”

“So if I asked you on another date you would say yes?” Kurt asked hopefully.

“Will you go out with me tomorrow, Kurt?”

“Hey!” Kurt smacked his shoulder.

“Ouch! What? I want to ask you out as well.”

“Okay. But you’d better ask me to be your boyfriend tomorrow because this going on dates without having a defined relationship is weird.”

“Well, I’m glad you told me. Otherwise tomorrow’s date could be a horrible disaster that wouldn’t fulfill your expectation.”

“Did today’s date fulfill your expectations?”

“Most of them…” Blaine responded with a playful smile.

“Most of them? So what exactly are you missing, Blaine?”

“A kiss?” A huge grin spread across Kurt’s face. He tugged Blaine closer and placed a sweet kiss on his lips. It wasn’t deep or heated. It wasn’t desperate or frantic. It was a tender brushing of lips and it was perfect.

They were dating over a month now. Blaine couldn’t believe how lucky he was to get Kurt back and he made sure Kurt had anything he wanted and needed. Kurt was the happiest man alive. He had Blaine in his arms again and he was doing his best to balance his work with school and Blaine so Blaine wouldn’t have a reason to think Kurt didn’t care about him. They were Kurt and Blaine again and yes, it took some time to adjust but soon they were as happy as they were back in Ohio.

Blaine was lying on Kurt’s bed. Kurt’s head was on his chest. They had been watching movies but Kurt had fallen asleep so Blaine had turned the laptop off. He stroked Kurt’s hair with his fingers and kept him close to his body with the other hand wrapped around Kurt’s waist.

Before you met me I was alright

But things were kind of heavy

You brought me to life

Now every February

You’ll be my Valentine, Valentine

He was softly singing the song that meant so much to them. He didn’t notice that Kurt woke up in the middle of it. He continued until he got to the end of it, then he kissed Kurt’s hair and whispered: “My teenage dream.”

“I love you.” Blaine’s hand in Kurt’s hair stopped its movement. He froze and it took his mind a few heartbeats to catch up on what Kurt had just said. Then the wave of emotions overflowed him and he started to cry.

“Blaine?” Kurt raised himself on his right elbow and wiped away the tears from Blaine’s cheeks with his left hand.

“There was a time I thought I would never hear that again from you…”

“You are going to hear lot of it because I’m about to say it several times a day for the rest of my life.” He captured Blaine’s lips in a heated kiss.

“I love you, Blaine.”

“I love you, too Kurt.”