Alianne
Feb. 5, 2012, 2:43 a.m.
Only Just Beginning
It's nice and comfortable and it's them, but it's a whole new way of being together and it's something to get used to, even if there's no doubt in his mind that he will.
T - Words: 1,257 - Last Updated: Feb 05, 2012 1,049 0 1 2 Categories: Cotton Candy Fluff, Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel,
Author's Notes: 3x05 post-ep fic, yay! The fluffiest fluff I have ever written.
It feels a bit like a dream and yet so real, more real than he can wrap his head around. Because, Kurt is quite sure of this, something like this cannot be happening to him.
This... It's everything.
Everything he can't explain, because there are no words for this.
There's happy and comfort and bliss and content, but this moment is so much more than words. And he has trouble breathing because there's no room for air in his body with all the emotion his chest can barely contain.
It's nice and comfortable and it's them, but it's a whole new way of being together and it's something to get used to, even if there's no doubt in his mind that he will.
He has his arms around Blaine, their legs tangled together, Blaine's head on his shoulder and his breath hot against his skin. Kurt thinks he'll stay awake forever if he has to, just to make sure this moment never ends.
He's feeling tired, though. Sleepy. Because, as it turns out, sex is kind of exhausting.
But it's the good kind of exhausted he's feeling, the kind that sits deep in his bones and makes his whole body feel heavy and sated and warm and he just wants to curl himself more tightly around his boyfriend and drift off; fall asleep with Blaine's body pressed tightly against his; feeling safe and loved and in love.
Blaine shifts against him and Kurt rolls over onto his side, pressing their foreheads together and Blaine opens his eyes to look at him. And there's that smile on his face, that smile that always makes Kurt's heart stop because he knows it's for him, only for him.
But it's different this time, because he's never seen it like this before, they've never been this vulnerable before, curled up on the bed like this, their bodies still trembling with the memory of closer and more and finally coming undone together.
And Blaine's face is still a little flushed from what they've been doing and his hair is a mess and it just adds a whole new meaning to everything, Kurt thinks.
Because it happened. They did this. Stripped away layer after layer, moved past that final barrier – the one that had never felt like one until it did. And they're so close now, so close.
He has never thought of sex as the final step on the relationship ladder, as a final threshold, just some goal to be reached.
He has always thought of sex as this one thing that brings you as close to the person you love as you're ever going to get.
But now, that they've done this, he realizes it's even more than that. It is a beginning.
Because this need, this need to just crawl inside Blaine's skin and live there and never leave – it's stronger than before and it's so overwhelming and he shivers a little as he tightens his arms around Blaine, because every tiny bit of space between them is just too much for him to handle.
And it's not just the fact that they had sex. It's the fact that they were – are – comfortable enough with each other to touch and be touched, to express their feelings through the actions of their bodies. To share this most intimate moment with each other, and find out how incredible it feels to be close to each other in that way.
He closes his eyes again for a moment, breathes in deeply, tries to control the shaking feeling of tenderness that makes his heart ache in a way that's almost too much and yet so good, so good.
God, he loves Blaine, with a fierceness he doesn't even understand himself, and it's the best and the scariest feeling in the world and he wants it to last forever.
Right now, in this moment, he's sure that he can do it. He's found this wonderful boy and he's never letting him go. Not ever.
Blaine's hand is moving up and down his arm so gently, and it's not new, Blaine does this all the time when they're making out, but it feels so much more intimate now. Everything does. Everything is heightened, strengthened, more. Even looking at each other feels different, because of what they did, what they saw, what they let the other see.
He leans forward to press his lips to Blaine's and Blaine kisses him back, soft and tender and just a little bit desperate, because, god, they both still want... so much.
Not sex, not necessarily, not right now. Not when they're both still so overwhelmed with everything that has happened, everything they have done. But still, they want. To be closer, to be together, to be here and now and finally and forever.
So he moves his hands over Blaine's bare shoulders and keeps kissing him and feels Blaine's fingers ghosting over his ribs and coming to rest against his back and it's too much, too much, and not enough, never enough.
He doesn't think he's ever loved Blaine as much as he does right now; he doesn't think it's even possible to love someone so much, but he's feeling it, so it must be.
And yes, all of this is happening. Someone wants him in this way, wants to be with him, loves him. And, what's more, it's Blaine.
His wonderful, gorgeous, awkward, caring Blaine, who is looking at him like he's beautiful, touching him like he needs to, telling him that he loves him.
Kurt can't believe he is that lucky.
But he is. Because Blaine is still kissing him, still touching him, and Kurt knows that in a while, when they just can't stay awake anymore, they will fall asleep together. And they will wake up together, they will have breakfast, plan their day and laugh and talk and touch and kiss some more.
And there will be more nights like this, nights of touching and being touched, of being overwhelmed and loved and loving back and holding on so tight and never wanting to let go.
He's looking forward to all of it, secure in the knowledge that it will happen, because he's here and Blaine is here and they are in love. Crazily, stupidly in love. And it's the best thing in the world.
Blaine pulls back a little, just enough so he can look into Kurt's eyes. And Kurt feels his heart expand and his skin tingle where Blaine is touching it and he smiles. He has a feeling that he'll be smiling a lot over the next few days.
He puts his hand against Blaine's chest, just another point of contact, Blaine's heart beating against his palm.
“Kurt,” Blaine says, and Kurt can feel his voice in his fingertips.
And he closes his eyes for a second because he's so happy and he knows he doesn't have to say anything because they said it a million times tonight. But it's written all over his skin and his heart and his soul anyway, and it's just flowing out, just an audible manifestation of everything this night means to them. “I love you.”
Blaine snuggles in closer, whispering the words back into his skin like a promise, and Kurt feels like he can finally sleep now.
Because there will be more moments like this. He knows it.
They've known each other for a year, one year that feels like forever. One year in which they've gone from friends to boyfriends; from hanging out to kissing to making love. And even after all of this, Kurt knows, there's still so much more new and exciting and wonderful waiting for them.
Even after all of this, they're still only just beginning.
This... It's everything.
Everything he can't explain, because there are no words for this.
There's happy and comfort and bliss and content, but this moment is so much more than words. And he has trouble breathing because there's no room for air in his body with all the emotion his chest can barely contain.
It's nice and comfortable and it's them, but it's a whole new way of being together and it's something to get used to, even if there's no doubt in his mind that he will.
He has his arms around Blaine, their legs tangled together, Blaine's head on his shoulder and his breath hot against his skin. Kurt thinks he'll stay awake forever if he has to, just to make sure this moment never ends.
He's feeling tired, though. Sleepy. Because, as it turns out, sex is kind of exhausting.
But it's the good kind of exhausted he's feeling, the kind that sits deep in his bones and makes his whole body feel heavy and sated and warm and he just wants to curl himself more tightly around his boyfriend and drift off; fall asleep with Blaine's body pressed tightly against his; feeling safe and loved and in love.
Blaine shifts against him and Kurt rolls over onto his side, pressing their foreheads together and Blaine opens his eyes to look at him. And there's that smile on his face, that smile that always makes Kurt's heart stop because he knows it's for him, only for him.
But it's different this time, because he's never seen it like this before, they've never been this vulnerable before, curled up on the bed like this, their bodies still trembling with the memory of closer and more and finally coming undone together.
And Blaine's face is still a little flushed from what they've been doing and his hair is a mess and it just adds a whole new meaning to everything, Kurt thinks.
Because it happened. They did this. Stripped away layer after layer, moved past that final barrier – the one that had never felt like one until it did. And they're so close now, so close.
He has never thought of sex as the final step on the relationship ladder, as a final threshold, just some goal to be reached.
He has always thought of sex as this one thing that brings you as close to the person you love as you're ever going to get.
But now, that they've done this, he realizes it's even more than that. It is a beginning.
Because this need, this need to just crawl inside Blaine's skin and live there and never leave – it's stronger than before and it's so overwhelming and he shivers a little as he tightens his arms around Blaine, because every tiny bit of space between them is just too much for him to handle.
And it's not just the fact that they had sex. It's the fact that they were – are – comfortable enough with each other to touch and be touched, to express their feelings through the actions of their bodies. To share this most intimate moment with each other, and find out how incredible it feels to be close to each other in that way.
He closes his eyes again for a moment, breathes in deeply, tries to control the shaking feeling of tenderness that makes his heart ache in a way that's almost too much and yet so good, so good.
God, he loves Blaine, with a fierceness he doesn't even understand himself, and it's the best and the scariest feeling in the world and he wants it to last forever.
Right now, in this moment, he's sure that he can do it. He's found this wonderful boy and he's never letting him go. Not ever.
Blaine's hand is moving up and down his arm so gently, and it's not new, Blaine does this all the time when they're making out, but it feels so much more intimate now. Everything does. Everything is heightened, strengthened, more. Even looking at each other feels different, because of what they did, what they saw, what they let the other see.
He leans forward to press his lips to Blaine's and Blaine kisses him back, soft and tender and just a little bit desperate, because, god, they both still want... so much.
Not sex, not necessarily, not right now. Not when they're both still so overwhelmed with everything that has happened, everything they have done. But still, they want. To be closer, to be together, to be here and now and finally and forever.
So he moves his hands over Blaine's bare shoulders and keeps kissing him and feels Blaine's fingers ghosting over his ribs and coming to rest against his back and it's too much, too much, and not enough, never enough.
He doesn't think he's ever loved Blaine as much as he does right now; he doesn't think it's even possible to love someone so much, but he's feeling it, so it must be.
And yes, all of this is happening. Someone wants him in this way, wants to be with him, loves him. And, what's more, it's Blaine.
His wonderful, gorgeous, awkward, caring Blaine, who is looking at him like he's beautiful, touching him like he needs to, telling him that he loves him.
Kurt can't believe he is that lucky.
But he is. Because Blaine is still kissing him, still touching him, and Kurt knows that in a while, when they just can't stay awake anymore, they will fall asleep together. And they will wake up together, they will have breakfast, plan their day and laugh and talk and touch and kiss some more.
And there will be more nights like this, nights of touching and being touched, of being overwhelmed and loved and loving back and holding on so tight and never wanting to let go.
He's looking forward to all of it, secure in the knowledge that it will happen, because he's here and Blaine is here and they are in love. Crazily, stupidly in love. And it's the best thing in the world.
Blaine pulls back a little, just enough so he can look into Kurt's eyes. And Kurt feels his heart expand and his skin tingle where Blaine is touching it and he smiles. He has a feeling that he'll be smiling a lot over the next few days.
He puts his hand against Blaine's chest, just another point of contact, Blaine's heart beating against his palm.
“Kurt,” Blaine says, and Kurt can feel his voice in his fingertips.
And he closes his eyes for a second because he's so happy and he knows he doesn't have to say anything because they said it a million times tonight. But it's written all over his skin and his heart and his soul anyway, and it's just flowing out, just an audible manifestation of everything this night means to them. “I love you.”
Blaine snuggles in closer, whispering the words back into his skin like a promise, and Kurt feels like he can finally sleep now.
Because there will be more moments like this. He knows it.
They've known each other for a year, one year that feels like forever. One year in which they've gone from friends to boyfriends; from hanging out to kissing to making love. And even after all of this, Kurt knows, there's still so much more new and exciting and wonderful waiting for them.
Even after all of this, they're still only just beginning.