adorable
Feb. 11, 2013, 10:51 a.m.
I want to be safe
Kurt has some reservations about trusting Blaine completely. This story contains frequent discussion about the possibility of getting STDs. It might not be to everyone's liking. Reader discretion is advised. Some kind person wrote a review which really meant a lot to me. In my response I noticed some spelling mistakes. I tried to delete my response, but i accidently deleted their review. If it was you then I am very sorry. It was by mistake.
E - Words: 1,173 - Last Updated: Feb 11, 2013 769 0 6 0 Categories: Angst, Drama, Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel, Tags: futurefic, hurt/comfort,
Author's Notes: I had reservations about putting this up beacuse it deals with a topic some people might be very sensitive about - STDs. There is a lot of talk about the possibility of getting STDs, but i dont go into detail about any STD.Im really nervous about this one, so I would really really like your opinions.
Kurt and Blaine were lying naked in bed together. Their arms were wrapped around each other holding onto tightly. Blaine was kissing down Kurt's stomach. He felt himself get hard. He heard Kurt moan.
"Kurt are you up for it?" Blaine asked.
"Of course" smiled Kurt. He took the lube from the night stand and handed it to Blaine. Blaine lubed himself. Kurt took a condom and was just about to open the packet when Blaine stopped him.
"Kurt, can we not use one tonight?" Blaine asked.
"What?" asked Kurt somewhat surprised.
"I want to feel you. I want to really feel you. Is that ok?" asked Blaine.
"Em...I'd rather if we were safe" answered Kurt.
"I don't want to pressure you, but we will be safe" said Blaine.
"How can I be sure" said Kurt avoiding what he really wanted to say.
"But we will be safe. We are both fine. You know I'm fine. I got a test done after Eli, you know that" said Blaine. He was a little bit surprised at Kurt's reaction.
"I know, but..." said Kurt as his voice trailed off.
"Kurt, I don't get it" said Blaine.
Kurt hated saying this but he knew he had to be honest "I know you got tested after Eli. But I don't know...I don't know if you have been with someone else since".
It was a few moments before Blaine spoke "I thought we had worked through that" said Blaine a little annoyed. "I thought we had moved on". He sat up at the edge of the bed.
"We have" started Kurt "To some extent".
"But not fully" said Blaine coldly.
Kurt firm on where he stood said "How do I know that you wouldn't sleep with someone else?".
"How about the fact that I have apologised over and over again" Blaine said nearly spitting out his words. "What more can I do? What more do you want from me?"
"Blaine listen I know you have, but the past is not that easy to forget about" Kurt could feel himself getting more and more angry.
Blaine got off the bed. He got dressed and walked towards the door.
"Blaine where are you going?" asked Kurt.
"If you don't trust me then what is the point in any of this?" shouted Blaine. With that he stormed out of the room and out of their apartment.
Part of Kurt felt like he should chase after Blaine, but the other part felt that he should stick to what he believed. During the next while, Kurt sat in the quietness thinking about and going over the argument. He thought about everything he said and everything Blaine said. Tears fell as he wondered if he was wrong. He wished Blaine was back in bed beside him. He hated fighting with Blaine. He loved Blaine and questioned himself on how he could love Blaine but at the same time not trust him fully. But above all else Kurt respected his body and wanted to be healthy. He had seen enough programmes about STD's to know they weren't worth the risk. Kurt felt himself drifting to sleep in between the tears.
******
Kurt work up when he heard his bedroom door open. He looked up and saw Blaine standing there.
"Kurt...I" started Blaine
"Blaine let me talk first" interrupted Kurt. He felt more tears fall and tried to wipe them away quickly "I'm sorry that we fought. I hate fighting. But I stand by what I said. All those talks I've had with my Dad have taught me about the importance of being safe".
Blaine sat down on the bed beside Kurt "Kurt, please don't cry. I love you". Blaine put his hand on Kurt's back and rubbed gently. "Kurt I am so sorry. I did a lot of thinking while I was out. I am so sorry for everything. I'm sorry for storming out. I didn't mean to push you into doing something you didn't want to do"
"You didn't push me into doing anything. I know that you would never do that" assured Kurt.
Blaine felt some form of relief from this but he knew he had more to say "I did a horrible thing to you. It is something that I regret every day. I live with the guilt of knowing that I hurt the one person that I truly love. I think it's because I have this guilt that I became so defensive earlier" at this stage Blaine joined Kurt in crying. Kurt gently wiped away Blaine's tears.
"Blaine I love you" said Kurt reassuringly.
"I love you too. You have been so good to let me back into your life and your heart. For me to just demand that you trust me is not fair" said Blaine.
"Blaine I want to fully trust you. I really do and I will". Kurt looked into Blaine's eyes as he said this. He wanted Blaine to know he really meant what he said.
"Trust isn't something that can be demanded, it has to be earned. I am going to do everything I can to earn that trust back" said Blaine.
Kurt smiled as Blaine leaned in for a gentle kiss.
"But this is more than just about trust. It is about being safe. It is about protecting ourselves" said Kurt.
"I know. Kurt I just want you to know that I will get tested again. I will never ever cheat on you again. But I will get tested again and again".
Kurt smiled as he and Blaine lay down and fell asleep.
******
The following night Blaine and Kurt lay down together in their bed. When he was ready to enter Kurt, Blaine got a condom from his drawer.
"Let me help" said Kurt as he put it on his boyfriend.
Blaine kissed Kurt. ""I love you Kurt so much".
"I love you too" echoed Kurt.
"I want you to feel safe. I want you to know that I respect you. I promise I will protect you and what we have" said Blaine adoringly to his boyfriend. Kurt felt so much comfort in that promise. As they made love, Kurt knew that trust would come back into their relationship soon.
End Notes: Ok so please let me know what you think. Was I too hard on either of them? Was it too unrealistic? Did you like it?
Comments
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No, I think Kurt is being sensible. It really annoys me when I read au fics and one of them had sex without a condom. It makes me think that the author may not understand the importance of always being safe.
Thank you so much for taking the time to write a review. It really really means a lot to me. I really appreciate it.I wanted to show Kurt's insecurities about Blaine. I could be wrong but I think Glee will just glide over Blaine's cheating. That would really annoy me. I really want them to have a deep, proper conversation. That is where this story came from.I think Kurt was so hurt, that of course he would question Blaine in the future.Anyway thank you so much again.
This was really good. I understand Kurt's position and his difficult time fully trusting Blaine's fidelity. It was nice to see the boys come back together and realize that no matter what they loved each other and the trust would eventually be earned back.
Your review really means a lot to me. Thank you so much. I really feel that cheating can't be just forgotton-it takes time. I think Glee will just push the issue under the rug. Blaine needs to accept full responsibility for what he did. They were always going to end up back together in this story. Klaine is endgame. You might like the chapter called "It shouldn't have happened that way" I wrote under the story "For us". Again it works through issues and deals with taking responsibility. The chapter focuses on The First Time episode and what happened at Scandals.
Some kind person left me a review and it really meant a lot to me. I wrote a response and noticed I made some spelling mistakes. I tried to delete it but I accidently deleted their review. I dont know their name, so if it was you then I am very sorry. It was by accident.
Oh, bless you. I wish everyone else in Klaine fandom--in any teen sex fandom--would realize that condoms are needed for safety, no matter what has or has not transpired.The conversations, self-reflection, and character development in this was really good. As the Aretha Franklin song says, though, "I'm willing to forgive you, but I can't forget."No matter how hard you try, it's always in the back of your mind. Try as you might to give the benefit of the doubt, you always have that nasty little voice in the back of your mind saying, "He was probably with someone else," if any stereotypical cheating behavior happens.There's a reason cheating is a deal breaker for me. I just couldn't live like that. I already have enough trouble with severe depression and paranoia. I don't need that stress added to it.Anyway, good story.