The first thing Kurt became aware of when he and Rachel arrived back in New York was an abundance of mail and, more importantly, an envelope that made Rachel shriek so loudly, the window nearly cracked.

"Kurt, Kurt! You got another audition for NYADA!"

He barely managed to pull their suitcases into the loft before a shower of unopened mail rained down around them and Rachel was thrusting the boring looking envelope into his face. For a brief second, Kurt saw the words "NYADA Office of Admissions" before they became too blurry as Rachel shoved the letter up his nose.

"Hold on, would you? Jeez," Kurt griped, ditching their suitcases by the door and tugging the letter from Rachel's grip. "You don't even know what is says and– "

"There's no way you didn't get a second audition, Kurt," Rachel said sternly. "I'm still amazed you didn't get in last year. I… I honestly thought you'd get in and I'd be waitlisted or denied after my audition shamble."

Kurt pressed his lips together tightly at the reminder, knowing Rachel meant well with her words and that it wasn't necessarily her fault she'd been picked. But it still set his nerves on fire when he thought about the rejection. Hadn't he been incredible and impressed Carmen during his audition? She'd praised him and been quite pleased, but for whatever reason she'd pushed to have Rachel accepted. Kurt just didn't understand it, and even now, especially with his job going so well, he wasn't sure why he had reapplied at all. Maybe it was just to prove to himself that NYADA wasn't worth it, that he had a better, newer dream to follow now.

"It's over now," Kurt assured her softly. "It wasn't our decision, so… this," he said, voice growing stronger, "this is what matters right now."

"Open it!" Rachel urged, clutching his arm and beaming up at him.

"Just let me– "

Kurt's words trailed away as the thought fully formed in his head. He couldn't call Blaine and share this moment with him because acknowledging Blaine meant bringing all the wrongs and pain in with him. Swallowing thickly and now much less giddy, Kurt tore the envelope open and slid the letter out, half of his mind wondering about its contents and the other part wondering if Blaine would be receiving a letter from NYADA at some point in the next six months. They'd never even spoken about Blaine's plans beyond high school, nothing beyond him following Kurt to New York. A trickle of regret ran through Kurt at the thought of how much his happiness and wishes had defined their relationship. If only…

But he stopped himself there and opened the letter instead. He couldn't dwell on their past mistakes right now, not until he was ready to accept what it had amounted to and yell and then talk it out.

"Dear Mr. Kurt Hummel," he began to read as Rachel held her breath at his side, "we are pleased to–I got another audition!"

Rachel screamed in excitement and flung herself fully into his arms. Hugging her back, Kurt clutched the letter tightly, his heart flooding with joy for the first time in over a month. It wasn't as strong and warm as what he was used to feeling, but compared to the nothing he had been feeling since the beginning of October it was fantastic to know it was still possible to feel so good.

"I can't believe it," Kurt said breathlessly as Rachel pulled back and dug her phone out.

"I've got to call Brody! He can help us prepare your audition!"

"I mean, I got the audition last time, but… somehow I didn't think I would again," Kurt mumbled to himself, staring down at the date and time for his audition. The sixth of December at six o'clock in the evening; in a little over three weeks he'd be performing on stage once more, possibly for the last time ever if he was once again rejected. His chest clenched tightly at the thought, knowing that this time there was no Blaine for him to cling to or Blaine's arms to hold him gently as he sobbed out his dejection. Not even his father would be near enough to hold him if the same dream caved in on him again.

"Brody? It's Rachel!" Rachel shouted, her voice high and ecstatic. "Kurt got his NYADA letter. He's got an audition for– "

At Rachel's questioning gaze Kurt supplied, "Sixth of December."

"– sixth of December," Rachel reiterated into her phone. "Do you think you could help us prepare something? He's got work a lot, but we can find a few nights a week, right?"

Kurt nodded, determined more than ever to prove to Carmen Tibideaux that while she'd made a good choice in Rachel, she'd completely missed out on having him as part of her school. He still had a letter from Parsons that had yet to arrive, after all, and if NYADA jerked him around once more, at least he had his new career with fashion to pursue and keep him sane.

During the following weeks, Kurt tried his best to focus entirely on his coming audition and work. Isabelle had been thrilled by his news, even if it meant losing him entirely or at least cutting back on his hours during the semester. She was quite happy to make his schedule work so that he stayed at her company, which surprised Kurt, but he didn't protest. He loved working there and helping to create new designs and newsletters for the website. It was a dream he'd never really understood having until he'd stumbled into it and it was the simple and absolute joy the job filled him with that made his positive that despite the outcome of his audition, he would be at Parsons in January for the Spring semester.

Brody had helped him a ton with preparing his audition, letting him and Rachel into the room where it would be held to see how the acoustics sounded and then helping him figure out his choreography for the number. It wasn't a particularly upbeat number, and Rachel had even tried to talk him out of singing it, but in his heart he knew it was the right choice. Madame Tibideaux might have mentioned it last year as one she heard too many times, but Kurt couldn't get the song out of his head ever since his iPod ad played it on shuffle several weeks prior. Being Alive fit where he was right now, and if nothing else it helped him poor his pent up emotions into the performance.

After a late night dance rehearsal a week before Thanksgiving, Kurt and Rachel returned to their loft, exhausted but satisfied with their practice and with a box of pizza in tow. He was still limber and flexible enough to dance like he used to and it felt really great to be able to move that way again. Losing himself in the rhythm was soothing like nothing else had been in so long.

"Mmm, this pizza is always so good," Rachel gushed, nearly drooling as she gobbled down her first slice.

Kurt grabbed his own as he plopped down next to her and moaned in bliss as the taste hit his tongue. "God, I love New York pizza."

They ate in silence for several minutes, Rachel slowing down and beginning to shift uncomfortably at his side. When it became obvious that whatever was on her mind was going to have to be forced out of her, Kurt sighed and finished up his slice, turning to her with dread filling him.

"What?"

"I… I was wondering if you'd talked to Blaine s- since we visited," she mumbled uncertainly, already looking like she regretted asking.

"I– no," Kurt snapped harshly. At the way Rachel flinched at his anger, he added more kindly, "Sorry, I haven't. I just… I don't know how to talk to him without getting angry right now. I can't even think about anything to do with him, honestly."

Guilt squirmed restlessly in his chest at his words, because while they were true to some extent, they weren't entirely truthful. He did think about Blaine, when he saw a hideous outfit on the streets of New York, found a new coffee he liked, watched all of their favorite shows by himself, and most especially at night when he was trying to fall asleep and every thought that plagued him throughout the day closed in on him.

"Kurt… "

"Don't, I… I hate being mad at him even more than I hate what he's done," Kurt admitted quietly, staring fixedly at his lap, fingers rubbing over his sweatpants absentmindedly. "I love him more than anything and that's what makes this so hard, isn't it? He's the one person I could go to when things are this terrible, but he's the one that caused it this time."

Rachel nodded in understanding and latched onto his arm, hugging it and rubbing the back of his neck.

"Maybe you just need to yell at him, and have him yell back at you, then when you've both said how much you're hurting, you can start to figure out how to be friends again?" Rachel suggested. "You can't avoid the worst of the pain forever, Kurt. Love is only as fantastic at its best as it is horrible at its worst."

Kurt said nothing in response, wondering who had told Rachel such a thing or if she'd figured it out with her experiences with Finn. Somehow he didn't think the latter was the case since all they did was hurt each other repeatedly without ever progressing or getting better. To him, Finn and Rachel had always seemed like a fantasy, something they both thought they needed, when in reality it only made their lives twice as difficult and hard.

"I… Isabelle let me have another three day weekend," Kurt mentioned, still picking at his jeans. "I still have to work Thanksgiving, but I… Maybe I'll call him and tell him I'll be in town Friday through Sunday morning." He paused and stared over at the empty side of the table across from him, imagining for a moment, like he had so many times in those first weeks, that Blaine was there, smiling serenely and reaching across the table for his hand. "I miss him so much, Rachel. Everything in me aches to have any part of him back in my life."

"Then get all of this agony out," Rachel pleaded gently. "Let him hear it, and acknowledge it, and please, do the same for him. I know there's more to him cheating than what you think. It wouldn't be like Blaine if it was just for sex, he's too in love for you to just need something physical."

Kurt sniffed loudly and wiped his nose on his sleeve, nodded shakily and accepted another slice of pizza that Rachel forced on him. Considering the conversations they'd had before they'd first started having sex, Kurt didn't doubt that was true. He'd call Blaine before he left next week, once their friends were cleared out and he had decided what exactly he needed to say over the phone.

After the production of Grease ended, Blaine spent a lot of time by himself in the days that followed. He kept playing over the weeks leading up to his cheating and remembering how he'd felt and why he'd felt that way. The biggest problem he faced with doing so was the unbearable urge to run from all of it. That was how he had always dealt with the hard, painful moments of his life, and acknowledging that part of himself had to come first, only he didn't know how.

Sam kept him company throughout the day at school and made sure he was there to joke with during rehearsals for Sectionals and afterschool meetings as President and Vice President. But less than a week after the musical ended, something unexpected happened that made Blaine realize just how strong his urge to run was and just where it was he wanted to run to.

The Warblers, apparently with a new ruler to guide them, had broken into the McKinley choir room and stolen their Nationals trophy. Finn, their acting club leader, had wanted to instantly run over there and confront them, but Blaine had stepped in. Part of him thought he knew what this was about, and part of him also acknowledged that this moment couldn't have come at a better time. He'd wanted to focus on himself, after all, and the best way to do so was to face his largest obstacle first: the need to run from difficulty.

His first trip over to Dalton was by himself, without his phone or any other distractions. Blaine thought it might have been a bad idea not to mention to anyone at McKinley that he was heading over to take their trophy back or to at least open a dialogue over the fiasco, but he needed this moment by himself, to prove that he could grow stronger and acknowledge his own impulses without giving into them constantly.

Instead of the warm reception he'd received last year, this time they all appeared to be waiting and while the guys still around that he remembered smiled and greeted him, Blaine felt cold as he joined them in the practice hall.

"I'm only here to bring back our Nationals trophy," Blaine told them seriously. "I don't know why you guys thought it was a good idea to take it. If you wanted to see me, you could have just– "

"But we want to do more than see you once, Blaine," an unfamiliar boy told him. The other boys parted around him and Blaine found himself staring at a young man in an armchair with a white cat perched in his lap. If he hadn't known this was real life, he would have slapped himself and laughed. "We've tempted you here with an offer. We'd like to have our best soloist back permanently. A last stellar run for your senior year."

The temptation he'd been feeling since October rose up and began clawing at the inside of his skull, desperate to accept the offer and forget he'd ever left this place, this sanctuary– no. That wasn't right. This place had sheltered him, but it had also hidden him from himself and the world. If he ever wanted to like and know himself again, he had to let this go.

"I– I'm just here to get our trophy back," Blaine said carefully, trying to keep the longing from his voice. He couldn't go back to how he had been, not after Kurt, even if that time in his life was over.

"Come on," Sebastian encouraged, appearing at his side. A warm Dalton blazer was draped over his shoulders and Nick helped him into it. He found himself unable to protest the action, welcoming the old comfort of the uniform and the seamless ability it gave him to blend into the crowd. He wasn't Blaine Anderson, boy with the broken heart and mind, when he had this on. He was Blaine Warbler, fantastic soloist and lead for a group of guys that adored his performances. They encouraged his falsities without realizing what it meant and that it wasn't the boy cowering, but still alive in Blaine's heart.

As he'd begun defining his thoughts and the mask he'd adopted the Warblers had joined around him, and started to sing, softly and in their varying a capella pieces until Blaine felt a hum coursing through his body. It was haunting to him, to hear and feel so completely different in their presence than he had last year and especially two years ago. Blaine knew the song, knew what was meant by the Warblers taking up their places behind him, and despite the sick feeling in his stomach, he let himself sing.

"There's a place that I know

It's not pretty there and few have ever gone

If I show it to you now

Will it make you run away"

Blaine wasn't sure what the Warblers intended with their song choice, but it tied so well into himself where he was stuck presently that he felt something within his chest pulling apart, wrenching itself open and letting some unacknowledged part of himself out.

"Will you return

And remind me who I really am?

Please, remind me who I really am"

Dalton had fed all of his insecurities, hadn't it? Without staying here for so long he wouldn't have closed in on himself further. The lingering doubts of not being good enough wouldn't have grown with every week while the Warblers needed him to be their leader and not who he was. By the time Kurt had swooped in and caught him it had been too late. He'd lost too much time to be able to heal and function well enough to handle where they were headed and had ended up a few months ago.

For all its niceties and protection, Dalton had darkened his life in multiple ways, cutting him off from himself and then separating his self so deeply that the only person he could connect with had to be as broken and lost as he was. Only Kurt hadn't sunk down into his isolation, he'd had Blaine to help him find his way back to life and change and Blaine had refused to find a way to follow, had not even understood that was a problem and resolution he needed until he destroyed his one link to the surface.

Now he had to find his own way back through himself and into someone stronger and more aware of himself.

When the song finished, the Warblers cheered and moved in for a group hug around him but Blaine didn't let it last. This wasn't where he belonged anymore, or what he needed. At fourteen, hiding had been a dream come true, being away from his father's disappointment and his mother's dejected looks and sighs that told Blaine how much she wished he was like Cooper.

"I'm sorry, guys," Blaine said, sliding the blazer off of his shoulders and handing it to Sebastian. "This isn't where I need to be anymore."

"Because of Kurt?" Sebastian hollered after his retreating form.

Blaine paused in the doorway and glanced back at the sad group. It struck him that he'd been so stupid not to realize how much of his life he'd defined by the boy who held his heart. How had he never realized it until Kurt had left? Or had he just been sweeping the truth aside because this had all been so difficult to face?

"No," Blaine admitted truthfully. "This time it's for me."

When Blaine returned to Dalton, it was with Sam by his side to steal their trophy back. The late night trip was a huge success, though it only proved to further the hostility between their respective groups. Blaine didn't fully understand why the two groups didn't get along as they once had. Two years ago they'd practically been friends, and then everything had fallen apart after West Side Story. He still didn't understand how it had happened, but maybe it was for the best. Now he could see how detrimental Dalton had been and would have been in the long run for his mental health. It was better that he was free of that now and able to realize himself.

Thanksgiving was rapidly approaching as Finn continued to try to prepare the group for Sectionals. It was obvious a task too big for him, and Blaine was glad to help at every opportunity because it meant having something to focus on when he wasn't working through his own feelings, and it gave him time to bond with Finn and Sam. Right now he needed friends and he knew it. Kurt still hadn't called, and while the thought still made a sharp pain run through his chest, it wasn't as bad as it had been. He'd had time to realize that he didn't have to run from the worst parts of himself now, and he knew Kurt was taking the time to right his head.

But getting past everything else he'd felt and was still feeling was proving to be much more difficult without talking it out with Kurt. Kurt was part of the feelings of neglect and hurt he'd experienced after their separation and his own guilt over trying to blame Kurt for his own mistake with Eli needed to be reconciled, too, before he could adequately begin to accept it and forgive himself for it.

For the holiday, Sam suggested they start a food drive as President and Vice President and Blaine latched onto the excellent idea. It gave him more time with the one friend he was really connecting with and Sam, despite still thinking it was a high school romance Blaine would eventually get over, was more sympathetic than before, even if he still didn't know what Blaine had done.

As they finished counting cans and boxes one afternoon a few days before Thanksgiving, Blaine slumped down at his own table with a sigh. It had been a particularly difficult day for him. The insecurities of being inadequate and never enough had come back full force that morning when his parents, who were actually staying home for the holiday this year, had informed him that his father's parents would be coming down and that Blaine ought to act "as much like Cooper as possible". To make matters worse, nightmares had started creeping into his sleep, either featuring Kurt ridiculing him for what he'd done and snarling his hatred at Blaine or of random, disembodied hands reaching out and trying to peel his clothing off of his body.

It was also the day Blaine had marked in his agenda as the day he would finally acknowledge that he was single once more by taking down the pictures in his locker.

The very thought made him sick because he knew his heart could never accept what his mind was learning to see.

Blaine followed Sam out into the hallway, trying his best to keep up the conversation of how successful the canned food drive was so far, but failing miserably. Sam seemed to realize he was entirely distracted as he turned off at his own locker. Even as he kept walking, Blaine felt Sam's eyes following him, worried and concerned. It felt nice knowing he'd made a deep enough connection with someone besides Kurt to have anyone care about him.

When he finally reached his locker, Blaine took his time putting in the combination and opening it. This was it, the next defining moment in his life, only now he was letting go of the best thing – the best person – he'd ever encountered and leaving their next moment together in Kurt's hands. For now, he would have to trust that Kurt would want that moment, too, and Blaine did trust him. He trusted Kurt more than anyone else, despite the ache still lingering in his chest.

With a soft, sad smile, Blaine peeled the first picture from the inside of his locker's door, brushing his thumb over their faces, smiling brightly and entirely unaware of where the future was directing them towards. If he'd known then, it wouldn't have changed his decision to love Kurt with his entire being or to transfer for the beautiful boy letting his younger self use his shoulder as a head rest. No amount of pain could ever replace or negate what they'd had, what Blaine still hoped they'd find a way back to some day.

"You're taking them down?" Sam asked sadly as he stopped by his side. "I didn't think you ever would. I mean, I know it's different with you two, but… "

"I've got to accept it for now," Blaine said softly, tucking the first photo into his bag. "There's no way he'll let me back into his heart if I don't figure myself out first."

"You keep saying that, and that was why you refused that Dalton offer," Sam said slowly, looking curious. "What exactly did you do? You've been beating yourself up over this for weeks."

"I– "

An unfamiliar hand worked his shirt loose and ran up Blaine's back, over his spine and making him shudder. The other boy seemed to take it as a pleased shiver as he backed Blaine up towards the messy bed in the dim, untidy room.

Blaine squeezed his eyes shut, tried to fill his senses with Kurt's scent and caresses and the way they soothed him like nothing else in the world. Instead, his stomach churned as his knees hit the edge of the bed and he forced the screaming in his head back down, squashing it like he had so many times before. After every nightmare about Sadie Hawkins, and the horrible fights with his father, like he tried to do with every nasty thought telling him he'd never amount to Cooper in his parents' eyes…

The illusion was shattered as soon as the other boy, Eli, spoke, his voice husky and rough in Blaine's ear.

"I can't wait to make you feel good," he murmured. "So good. You want to feel good, don't you?"

Blaine found himself being pressed down into the bed, a sloppy, unfocused mouth sucking over his neck as a pair of hands started working his jeans open. He did want to feel good, anything was better than the unbearable ache and harsh knowledge that his love wasn't enough to keep Kurt in his life. He was never good enough, but that didn't mean he couldn't feel good before Kurt finally admitted the truth, that he wanted to break up with him, and shattered his heart fully.

"I cheated, Sam," Blaine admitted solemnly, eyes downcast as his fingers hovered over the last photo in his locker. "I cheated on the person I love more than anyone else in the world because I'd thought he'd stopped loving me, that I wasn't enough for him even though he was more than enough for me. I screwed up the greatest thing I'll ever experience in my life and now I have to accept it and find a way past it."

Blaine wasn't surprised when Sam didn't say anything in response. If the other boy turned about, walked off, and never spoke to him again, Blaine would fully understand. That was Kurt's response to the truth of Blaine's insecurities, that deep down he couldn't handle himself without someone else to guide him for more than a month. Sam refusing to speak to him now would make perfect sense to him. After all, nobody else in New Directions, or McKinley as a whole, went out of their way to speak to him or find out why he was so miserable. Telling Sam the truth would no doubt remove him from Blaine's life as well.

"A change of hair style probably wouldn't hurt," Sam mentioned, his hand cuffing Blaine on the shoulder and then tentatively brushing over Blaine's cemented down hair. "I mean, if you're figuring yourself out and all of that, you should probably figure out something better for your hair, dude. It's gonna fall out before you graduate from college if you keep doing that to it."

"I– you– aren't you going to stop speaking to me now?" Blaine stammered in amazement even as Sam continued to knock his knuckles against Blaine's stiff hair helmet.

"Why? You made a huge mistake, yeah, but it's obvious you regret it and you didn't want to hurt Kurt by doing it," Sam acknowledged. "You're a good guy, but that doesn't mean you're perfect. And you're trying to make things right with yourself and then Kurt when he starts talking to you, so," Sam shrugged slightly and smiled weakly at him. "I'm not turning my back on my best bro over one mistake."

"Thanks," Blaine whispered gratefully, his fingers prying the last picture from his locker. "That… that means a lot to me. Nobody else even bothers to ask what's wrong… "

"Wolverine and Cyclops, remember?" Sam said, attempting to sound cheerful as Blaine's gaze fell on the picture now in his hand. "Guess you kind of feel like the Na'vi did when their home tree was destroyed, huh?"

Blaine nodded slightly, understanding the reference. That was one of the greatest things about his friendship with Sam: they both got those same jokes or at least understood the attempt.

"I miss him more than anything," Blaine mumbled, staring down at their smiling faces one last time. It was his picture from the day he'd told Kurt to go to New York at the beginning of the school year. Kurt was in his adorable little hat and jacket, hugging Blaine to his side during their last moments together at McKinley. Later that evening, he'd helped Kurt pack with Burt and then spent what may very well have been his last night in the assurance of Kurt's warmth and love.

"You'll find a way back," Sam decided. "He'll call you soon, I bet. Maybe even tonight. Don't lose hope, right?"

Nodding once more, Blaine carefully tucked the photo into his bag with the others, his heart doing an uncomfortable tottering in his chest, one second lighter from the decision and then heavier than before, now that he was actually finding a way to leave what had been his entire life behind. For a few seconds, he wondered if Kurt had felt the same way once he'd been in New York, nostalgic about leaving Blaine, but happy at the same time to be making his life better. He hoped Kurt had realized it the way he was and that moving beyond Blaine and his high school world hadn't meant leaving him entirely behind like it had felt.

The Saturday before Thanksgiving, Rachel dragged Kurt out for the first time since October. It was only the insistence that he perform in public to get ready for his audition in a few weeks that really motivated Kurt to go. After almost two months of refusing Rachel's attempts to set him up with her classmates, he was glad to find her planning an evening without that intent. At least there was no guy meant for him that he was aware of yet.

They met Brody at their apartment for dinner that evening, got ready for Callbacks, and headed out to the little NYADA dive across town. The other two were quite excited for a night out, and despite all of the reminders of Blaine the little club held, Kurt tried his best to appear happy. This was one of the only places in New York that was connected to Blaine and the memories of how stupidly happy Kurt had been here while something was so obviously wrong with Blaine hurt. He should have seen it coming, should have known Blaine had done something terrible just by how he was acting, but he hadn't allowed himself to see that until Blaine actually admitted it.

His friends took the stage several times, as soloists and for a duet, and Kurt applauded politely, but inside he felt swollen and numb. The last time he'd watched Brody and Rachel sing together, Blaine had followed with their song. Only it wasn't their song anymore, it was tainted by what Blaine had done and the agony in Blaine's voice as he began to crumble on that very stage. Kurt shivered and turned back to the little bar, about to ask for another soda since he wasn't legal to drink yet, when–

"Your friends are quite good," a smooth tenor said from the bar stool next to him.

Kurt turned slightly to see who was speaking to him and he paused at the sight of the man. He was handsome, about his age, with tastefully styled, messy blond hair and a charming smile. His stomach twisted at the sight, not unpleasantly, but it wasn't what Kurt would define as a swoop either. It certainly wasn't the reaction his body had had to Blaine the first day they'd met, but it was an interesting sensation nonetheless.

"They ought to be since they never stop. There's been more than one day where Rachel's woke me up at three in the morning with her vocal practice," Kurt griped, trying to sound detached but he was a little stunned to hear the teasing note in his own voice.

The man next to him laughed, his chuckle soft and easy and… comforting. It was similar to Blaine's, and even if the thought hurt, having that reminder ringing in his ears made Kurt feel safer.

"My name's Isaac. I go to NYADA," he introduced, holding out his hand for Kurt to shake.

"Kurt. Working at Vogue and reapplying to NYADA for the spring," Kurt supplied as another soda was placed in front of him. "Thanks," he said to the bartender.

"Ouch. I had to apply three times before they let me in," Isaac said sympathetically. "It's what I knew I wanted, though, and it's more than worth it. I guess you have an audition coming up soon?"

"Beginning of December," Kurt found himself answering. It was so strange to find himself talking to this stranger, this Isaac, after being caught up in his own little bubble since his break up. Part of him had forgotten any other world existed outside of his heartbreak, yet here this man was. Here were all of these happy, hopeful people looking to have a little fun. "They" – he gestured to where Rachel and Brody were dancing together – "are helping me with it. Rachel and I applied together last year. She got in, I didn't."

"That sucks," Isaac said. "My ex and I applied together. When he didn't get in, he stayed in St. Louis and I came here, not really knowing what I was going to do until my next audition. You've got a better handle on it than I did, if you're working at Vogue."

"I have an eye for fashion trends," Kurt said importantly, a small smile beginning to pull back his lips. He ducked his head to hide it. What was wrong with him? His heart was broken and he was, what? Flirting with some random guy because of a smile and laugh that reminded him of the one he could no longer have?

"I can tell, that's a beautiful sweater," Isaac complimented. "I saw it from clear across the room and– oh, god. That sounds so cheesy, I'm sorry."

But Kurt was laughing at the horrible line, unintentional or not. Isaac ducked his head slightly, too, a bashful, yet sweet smile lighting up his face.

"I don't, uh, I don't usually talk to people in bars, so… "

"No, it's… it's fine," Kurt assured him. "It's nice to… just talk without… everything else that's been going on."

Isaac remained quiet for several seconds as another student took the stage for a slower, softer song. For whatever reason, Kurt couldn't take his eyes off the other man, who was clearly pondering the meaning of what Kurt had just said. It wasn't that Kurt was incredibly attracted to him, though he was certainly handsome. But he was nice, and seemed genuine so far. It wouldn't hurt to let himself forget everything else for a little while, would it?

" … Kurt?"

"What? Sorry?"

"Oh, I… I just wanted to know if you'd like to dance… with me? Maybe?"

A flash from his senior prom entered his mind. Blaine held close with a bushy head of hair against Kurt's neck as they enjoyed a final slow dance for the evening, and then Kurt was on his feet. He had to move on from that. High school was behind him now, and so was Blaine. Blaine had been behind him for a long time now, because despite his promises he'd left Blaine behind, and for now it was time to move on. He couldn't have helped that divide if he'd tried, but acknowledging it, and the part it had played in this, was a step forward. If that step took him towards Isaac or another man somewhere else in this huge city, then maybe Kurt would be all right with that.

Rachel rested her head against Brody's shoulder as they swayed slowly to the music. Pascal had taken over the piano, playing a soft, beautiful melody as most of the couples took to the floor for a romantic dance. It was still a little odd to her, being in another man's arms besides Finn's, but here in Brody's embrace, things were different, comfortable. Finn's arms had always felt nice and tight, but suffocating in other ways. With Brody she was freer, and it was almost perfect, if she dared to think it.

"Looks like Kurt's finally having a good time," Brody informed her quietly, his hand stroking through her hair gently.

"What?"

The chin resting on her head tilted up and jutted in the direction behind her.

"He's been talking and dancing with that guy for a while," Brody said.

Rachel twirled him around until she could see where he was looking and found a sad smile forming on her face at the sight. The man was cute, and Kurt was talking happily from what she could tell, but it still broke her heart to think of how much her best friend had lost with Blaine. She'd been encouraging him to move on for almost a month and now he finally was taking those first tentative steps. Thinking of the crushed look on Blaine's face made the entire moment bittersweet for her.

"I'm glad," she whispered in reply. "He needs to get out and figure out what he needs right now. I just wish… "

"That he and Blaine will find a way back to each other?" Brody remarked sadly.

She nodded as the song ended and they linked hands to head over to Kurt. It was getting late and they had a Thanksgiving meal to plan in the morning. After finding their way through the crowd, they stopped at Kurt's side, who was laughing along with the other man.

"I can't believe you did that!"

"Well, it wasn't my idea, I just went along with it so she didn't bite my head off– "

"Hello there," Rachel greeted, putting on her best smile and nudging Kurt intently. "Let's head on out, shall we? We've got lots of cooking to do tomorrow."

"Wh– oh, right," Kurt said, barely even acknowledging her at his side. He smiled over at the blond man, looking a little shy. "It was great meeting you, Isaac, but I'm being summoned so– "

Isaac smiled bashfully in return, but nodded. "No, that's fine. It's been fun. Yeah."

"Yeah," Kurt agreed, as Rachel yanked him up from his bar stool. "Well, I'll see you at NYADA some time."

"Definitely."

"Come on, Kurt," Rachel urged, smile still in place.

They were out of the club and halfway down the block, Kurt still looking a little dazed and breathlessly happy. Brody seemed fine with the new acquaintance Kurt had made and Rachel knew she should be, too, but it was hard. Blaine and Kurt were both her friends, and, as horrible as what had happened was, she still wanted them to work this out and be together again someday. But that couldn't happen if Kurt and Isaac– if her best friend fell for another guy–

Rachel huffed in frustration over her conflicting feelings, and then a voice called out behind them.

"Wait, Kurt!"

All three of them spun around, Kurt's face lighting up as Isaac came jogging towards them, his hand closed around something, waving in the arm.

"Y- you forgot your phone," he panted as he stopped next to them.

"Oh! Oh my god, thank you," Kurt gushed, his face heating up in a way that Rachel knew meant he'd left it on purpose. Well, she didn't know it for sure, but she had her suspicions. "Isabelle would have murdered me if she couldn't get in contact– "

"It's no problem, Kurt," Isaac replied and the genuine, hopeful smile on his face made Rachel's chest ache. She couldn't butt in and stop this, not if it made both of them happy, and this Isaac, he was already smitten. Maybe that waswhat Kurt needed right now, just like she'd found Brody without Finn. It didn't necessarily mean Blaine and Kurt were done forever, just that right now they needed to grow as individuals apart in order to begin growing together again.

"Thanks again," Kurt said, his voice flustered and high like it had once been around Blaine. "Right, well, um… I'll see you around… "

They'd barely begun walking again when Isaac caught up, catching Kurt by the wrist and with a nervous smile, he squeezed Kurt's hand and asked, "C- can I see you again sometime?"

"Y- you want to– "

"It doesn't have to be a date," Isaac rushed on, squirming on the sidewalk. "Just… I want to get to know you better. You… you're really nice to talk to, and funny, a- and cute– "

"Monday night, at that cute pizza parlor on fifty-ninth," Kurt supplied, a grin beginning to shine through on his face.

"Monday night," Isaac repeated, looking thrilled. He smiled widely and began walking backwards. "I'll see you Monday night! Bye, Kurt!"

Rachel titled her head against Brody's chest, accepting the warm arm around her shoulder as Kurt made an adorable little squealing noise beside them.

"He's– I can't believe I– "

And she was happy for him right then. It had been so long since Rachel had seen Kurt this excited or happy about anything and he deserved it. Kurt deserved to have his heart full again and for it to start healing from the chunk Blaine had ripped out. Briefly she wondered if Blaine had moved on by now, or if his cheating had been him moving on all along. She still didn't understand why he'd done that to Kurt, but she couldn't imagine Blaine moving on to someone else. Not when she remembered the way he'd looked at the man next to her and Brody. Kurt had been Blaine's entire world, his everything. He'd been nothing without Kurt and–

Oh. Maybe that had been the problem once Kurt had left.

Stomach twisting up at the realization, Rachel let Brody guide her back to their loft, Kurt still ecstatic at their sides. Had Kurt figured that out yet or had he always known it? But now she had a better understanding of why Blaine had cheated, because she'd seen how lonely he was. There had been more than enough nights when she'd answered the Skype beeps on Kurt's computer, had seen the broken disappointment when her face appeared instead of Kurt's because he was still at work.

He'd thought Kurt had stopped loving him. That was what had happened, and she couldn't change that, but she could still encourage Kurt to make that phone call. If nothing else she wanted both of her boys to have their best friend back.

After she'd said goodbye to Brody, she stepped inside, locked the door, and listened to the sound of Kurt humming happily. It was surprising to her how fast he'd forgotten about Blaine and his heartbreak tonight. In some ways, it was frightening because he'd pushed it aside for so long, and now it was easy for him to ignore because he hadn't fully addressed it.

"Kurt?"

"Hmm, yeah?"

"I, um, I don't want to be a buzz kill or anything," Rachel said hesitantly, peering through his curtains, "but have you… have you called Blaine yet?"

"Bl– oh my god. I'm– no, it's not cheating, we aren't– "

She stepped inside his room and guided him down to the bed, her hands on his shoulders as his entire demeanor changed and his face fell. "Of course it's not cheating," she assured him. "Don't worry about that. You would never– "

"I didn't think Blaine ever would either," Kurt admitted miserably. He rubbed his hands over his face. "I… I forgot about him tonight, for the first time since it happened." He was quiet for several minutes and then finally murmured, "He reminds me of Blaine. Isaac," he clarified. "God, I'm just trying to push all of this aside and replace him so I can trick my heart into thinking everything's fine again, but it's not."

"It won't be until you call him," Rachel told him. "But that… that doesn't mean you and Isaac don't have something. The way he made you smile tonight, Kurt. It's been a long time since I've seen you smile that brightly."

Kurt's expression was thoughtful for a long time as they sat there, Rachel rubbing her hand over his back, and hoping desperately that he was finally going to make the decision she'd been waiting for him to make.

"Why don't you take your shower first in the morning," Kurt suggested, easing his phone out of his pocket. "It's too late to call now, but… I'll catch him before his family starts Thanksgiving dinner."

"Okay," Rachel agreed, hugging him from the side and sighing softly. "It's going to be hard, but it's for the best. You both need to work through this, even if it only means being friends again. Blaine loves you enough to respect that."

"I know he does," Kurt said. "That's why all of this hurt so much and doesn't make any sense."

Rachel said nothing after that, hoping what she'd figured out was accurate and that, with a face to face confrontation, they would both get their hurt feelings out in the open and begin to work through them. She had no idea how Blaine was fairing. Nobody from McKinley ever mentioned him and Blaine never called or texted her anymore, most likely for fear of her hating him.

As she said goodnight to Kurt and pulled the curtains of her own room closed, she grabbed her phone, found Blaine in her contacts, and sent off a short text message, saying something she'd heard Blaine tell Kurt a dozen times last year.

Don't give up hope, ever.