The next week flew by for Kurt. His classes upped their workloads with several papers and designing assignments, work was full of three huge deadlines that kept him at the office late all weekend, and even when he came home, there was still the problem of sexual activity running rampant on the other side of the curtains.

Surprisingly, it was no longer Santana making the noises, who had actually agreed to the terms and respected his wishes, but now Rachel and Brody had decided to explore a new element in their relationship and Kurt was quite exasperated by it. He and Santana ended up sitting Rachel down and reminding her of their apartment sex rules, which had ended in quite a blow out and Rachel spending an increasingly large amount of her time holed up at Brody's dorm.

Neither of them really minded the change, not that they would tell Rachel, but by the time the thirteenth rolled around and Blaine was set to arrive, Kurt was quite thrilled with her absence. He had no real contact with Blaine throughout the day, just a short text message telling him that Santana had met him at the train station and that he'd see him tonight. Despite the huge spread he had to finish before five, Kurt was anxious and distracted for the last few hours of his shift. He could imagine Blaine preparing in the auditorium and practicing with Santana. More than anything, Kurt wished he could be there with Blaine, but a celebration afterwards was the best he could do.

It was a little after six when he arrived back at their dark apartment. Rachel wasn't there and Santana and Blaine hadn't arrived back yet. Disappointed, Kurt unpacked his work bag and went into his room to change into something comfortable. After he made himself a chicken salad, he returned to his room and settled down at his desk to watch a movie on his laptop. But as the first forkful of lettuce passed through his lips, Kurt's eyes caught on something he'd completely forgotten about.

The little Christmas present Blaine had given him two months ago. It was still shiny and wrapped, sitting on the built- in shelf at the top of his desk. Kurt eyed it for several minutes as the words that had accompanied it's arrival into his life came back to him.

"I won't tell you what it is, but I want to make a promise on this, that someday if you find it in your heart to forgive me, you'll read this letter and open it."

Kurt set down his bowl and stood up, watching the present like he expected a miniature Blaine to burst out of it and kiss him. He'd already planned on telling Blaine he was forgiven tonight, but he'd forgotten about this part. He glanced at the clock, wondering if he'd have time to read Blaine's letter and open it before they got back. What if whatever was inside made a difference? If it was something too painful for Kurt to take, it could change his mind about saying anything while Blaine was here.

Still eyeing the parcel warily, Kurt picked it up and slid the letter off the desk, too. He dropped down onto the foot of his bed, hands trembling as he stared at the loopy, scrawl his name was written it.

Blaine had written this for him months ago. It could contain just about anything, nasty, harsh words, regrets, confessions…

After taking a deep breath, Kurt slit the letter open and unfolded it.

Dear Kurt,

I hope you're reading this before you unwrap the box, otherwise you'll probably think I've gone insane. Really, I just hope you find a strong enough part of your heart that can guide you towards forgiveness so you can free yourself from the terrible pain I've caused. If that leads you here, to this letter, then I hope you get from my words what you need to fully heal.

First, none of this was fair to you – my dependency, my infidelity, and especially the handing over of this burden. You probably think it's strange to call a wrapped gift that, but it feels much more like that now than the romantic milestone I originally wanted it to be. This was meant to be a beautiful representation of everything we have and will share. It was meant to be a sign of the everlasting love that still clings in my heart for you. I bought this over the summer, not knowing when I'd give it to you, only that it was right and someday I would. It was a spur of the moment decision in a lot of ways, the purchase of a young boy madly in love for the first and, what he sincerely hoped would be, the last time. As soon as I saw it, I knew it was perfectly imperfect, the same way I picture you, and meant to be a part of you and us.

Your father's snoring next to me right now – we're on the train to New York – and it's quite distracting, wondering what he would think of everything I'm writing. I don't know how he can sleep with all the racket the train is making, the loud screeching of the metal against the track and all. It's very jarring, but I hope the reason for the trip, and our destination with you, isn't. It's a surprise visit for Christmas and I hope it won't upset you. That's the last thing I ever want to do, though if you don't believe that after what's happened, then I honestly don't blame you.

I don't blame you for any of this or anything that's gone wrong between us since October. All relationships have rough patches and struggles and I let that tear me down. It was my decision to seek comfort in another and I think I've finally, really, truly accepted that. I am still so sorry for hurting you, for causing all of this blinding, unexpected pain. You didn't deserve this, will never deserve to remember this as the end of your first love. My apologies will never be enough to make up for what I did to you – to us.

My heart was ready for so many things that the rest of me wasn't. You're the love of my life, but it's taken all of this for me to realize the same might not hold true for you. Maybe in some ways this was meant to happen, to guide you towards the man you'll grow old with. As much as my heart wants it to be true, I don't think that man is me anymore. I don't think I'm really a man at all yet. I've been selfish and childish in countless ways, and that's not what you need in your life right now. You've grown up and changed while I've stayed stationary, like an anchor cast off to the bottom of the sea, ebbing and flowing with the tide but never free.

God, you're probably glaring at this letter if you're still reading it, wondering what the hell I bought and why I can't just get to the point. To be quite honest, I wasn't even sure when it would arrive, though it was never my intention to give it to you so soon after I bought it. It was something meant for a later date when the time felt natural and right. It's custom made, so I can't return it. Even if it was allowed, I don't think I ever could. However, you can do as you like with it. It's yours, meant to be a symbol of our future together and where we were headed. I guess it's just a reminder of what was lost now, what I ruined. You don't even have to open it since I know you've figured it out by now. You can sell it or trash it if you want. But I can't hold on to something meant for you. I know it's selfish and it's just something else I'll hurt you with, but I need to let this go. For me.

Honestly, I don't even know what I would have said when I gave it to you. There's so many possibilities for that perfect moment; I might have written out a whole speech for it, carried it around in my pocket for weeks on end and finally just winged it, catching your hand across the table at our favorite little New York coffee shop, or perhaps during a snowy stroll through Central Park. I don't know. I might have dragged all the Warblers and Sam along and sang that Train song to you before I proposed. You know that song still, don't you? The one we always heard on the radio last year, that made us blush and stop singing, but hold hands tighter as we drove away from school each afternoon. And when we finally stopped a light or stop sign we'd catch each other's eyes and smile, because that was going to be us someday? No words were need or necessary to convey how we were everything to each other's hearts. I guess that's not a someday anymore, it's just the foggy end of another dream, cut short by an alarm clock.

I want to marry you, Kurt, and still have every intention of it in my heart. Every day, every second, I want spent with you, watching you achieve and learn and grow into the wonderful, talented, successful, gorgeous man that you're already becoming. I want to watch you get frustrated with your co-workers, and Rachel, and me, and then to wake up in the middle of the night to a cold, empty bed, only to find you in the little nursery down the hall, asleep in the rocking chair with our little one curled up on your chest. Everything that I want in this life, I want to share and experience with you. That will always be a part of me, no matter how much time passes. You're everything right in my life and I wish more than anything that I could still offer it all to you. But I can't anymore. I damaged us, ruined all the promises we made. You deserve more than I can give to you, and you need someone who won't doubt your love. Not even for a second the way I did. I couldn't love you at a distance like you needed, and for that I lost the best person in my life.

I guess that day was a defining moment in my life, wasn't it? Like roads with two diverging paths that cross and keep moving, never meeting again. Only I was wrong and I was too young and naive to see the truth of what was in front of me – that without Dalton and without you, I still had myself and the strength in my heart to live each day for myself. I had no idea that the paths were actually one, that looped and twisted and turned, meeting back at all of these intersections, but always taking the same journey towards you. It was all part of growing up, and I failed to see it and see you as clearly as I always had. I took a wrong turn and tumbled off that path. It took me away from you and out into the wilderness. You couldn't be my Eden forever, and maybe it's better that I'm starting to define myself now, instead of settling for my self-definition to come from another.

I am truly sorry for all of this, and I hope that in some way this helps you move forward with your life, with Isaac or another worthy man. This gift is yours, whatever you choose for it to be, and this ring is a token of my love and the good memories we have, even if it brings the bad along with it.

You are the love of my life, Kurt, but I can accept it if I am no longer yours.

All my love, forever and always,

Blaine

The letter fluttered out of Kurt's limp grasp as he finished. Tears were streaming down his cheeks, unchecked and hardly noticed. With shaking hands, he picked up the little wrapped box on his lap, already knowing what was inside and knowing that his forgiveness was real; even if Blaine didn't know it right now, Kurt would someday accept this ring and everything it stood for. It would rest on his finger even after a wedding ring was bought and slipped on, because it was a symbol of so much more than their love now. It was a stark reminder of how much they had struggled these past months and that despite all the pain and heartache the truth in their love was worth something simpler.

The wrapping paper tore easily and Kurt found another note when he opened the little brown package. For a moment his gaze locked on the ring box it had been covering, and then he slit it open as well.

Kurt, this is a fingerprint ring. You once told me that "the touch of a fingertip is as sexy as it gets" and when I saw this, I truly knew what you meant by that. The inside band is engraved with my print, always touching and close, so your hand will never be without mine to hold.

Kurt hiccupped loudly, trembling all over as he pulled the ring box free and finally popped it open. When he saw it, his heart skipped a beat. It was simple, unadorned, like so many of their firsts had been while they were together. He tugged it free from the velvet, spinning it in the dim light from his desk lamp until he found the first groove of Blaine's fingerprint.

Sniffing and crying, Kurt dragged his sleeve over his eyes before gently putting the ring back into the box and admiring it. Some day he would wear it on his finger, some day it would show the world everything it was meant to be, but for right now, it could wait. He had no idea how long until it would finally rested on his finger, but his fears of never being able to fully embrace Blaine again had washed out with his tears, purging him of the last wisps of toxicity and doubt.

"I'm in love with you, Blaine Anderson," Kurt said softly to himself. "So in love, I'm afraid of what'll happen if it ever stops."

A boot tapped on the wooden floor boards behind him and the swish of his curtains let him know someone had just parted them.

"K- Kurt?" Blaine asked hesitantly. "Are you all right?"

Santana disappeared at the subway platform on the way back from his audition. After ten minutes of searching, Blaine gave up, and when he reached the street above, he was greeted with a new text message that made it clear why she'd run off.

Santana [6:47 P.M.]: I'll be out gettin' some. You should be back at the apartment doing the same, hobbit. I don't make sure it's empty if there isn't a damn good reason to.

Exasperated and finding her antics ridiculous, Blaine shook his head and hurried down the street through the throng of commuters exiting the station. A spring was in his step and people kept doing double takes as he passed, but Blaine didn't care. He'd had a second successful audition, this time for his piano and vocal combination performance and the two as individuals. Julliard seemed like a remarkable school, and while the thought of being on stage in a production was certainly thrilling, Blaine thought he'd be fine going to school just to play the music or even to teach someday. He loved the stage, but it wasn't everything in the same way it was to Rachel. Even so, he could still circulate in that network around the city once he moved here next year. Right now there were a hundred options open to him, just waiting for his path to swerve along through and narrow everything down.

Next year. The thought made him grin broadly as he pushed through the front door of Kurt's building and mounted the first flight of stairs. They were on their way back, and maybe they'd still be hesitant, still be taking things slow by the time June rolled around and not share an apartment at first, but some day…

Some day they would.

Before knocking, Blaine tried the door and was both surprised and pleased to see that it was unlocked and rolled open easily, still screeching and lurching, but much smoother than it had been at Christmas. The apartment was silent when he entered, shrugging his coat off and hanging it on the new coat rack that had appeared since his last visit. The only light was coming from the curtained off section that was Kurt's room. It was dim and barely noticeable because of the curtains, but Blaine headed in that direction, preparing to tell Kurt everything that had happened and then to change into his pajamas.

But when he pushed through the curtains, hearing the quiet murmur of Kurt's voice, Kurt was sitting on the edge of his bed, tears coursing down his cheeks and an unwrapped, opened package in his lap. An unfolded, slightly worn piece of paper was in his hand and Blaine's heart dived right down through the floorboards. He'd completely forgotten about the ring and the letter he'd written. Everything had been so distanced from the pair since he'd handed them off at Christmas.

"K- Kurt? Are you all right?" He hesitated at the parted curtains, watching Kurt swipe at his eyes and hiccup.

"Blaine, I– this is– "

Words failed him. Kurt shook his head and Blaine carefully made his way over, waiting for Kurt to stop him or order him out. He didn't, even as Blaine dropped down beside him and slid his arm around Kurt's waist. Blaine hoped that was a good sign, that Kurt had been ready to open the box and that it had given him what he'd hoped it would.

"You read it?" Blaine asked quietly, holding Kurt tighter when he felt that he was shaking. "Kurt, you're trembling– "

"You're it," Kurt said abruptly, his voice rough and watery. "I've known it for weeks now and before all of this but… " Kurt shook his head, and wiped away another batch of tears. "Your letter was beautiful, Blaine."

Surprised, Blaine reached up and helped Kurt wipe away his tears. "A beautiful letter for the most beautiful man I know, inside and out."

"Blaine– "

"It's the truth," Blaine said, throwing caution to the wind. "I've known that since I first met you, though I never realized how deeply your beauty ran. Even if we spent the rest of our lives together, I don't think I'd ever discover all of your beauty, Kurt."

"God, you've changed so much," Kurt shook his head in disbelief, dropping it down onto Blaine's shoulder and sighing. "It's been so… confusing every time you leave. After Christmas I missed you, but I still craved the boy I left in Lima. You were him and you weren't. But this time, after you left, it wasn't him I missed." Kurt paused. Blaine glanced down at where his head was resting on his shoulder, his lower lip worried between his teeth. "I'll always love and be fond of that boy, but it was the strength you allowed yourself to finally accept that I missed, Blaine. You are exactly the man I need in my life now."

Blaine's heart jolted in his chest at Kurt's words and he suddenly found Kurt sitting up and turning to face him. His face was captured between Kurt's hands, caressing and gentle. Their eyes met, Kurt's still bright with tears, but the sight beyond those made Blaine forget to breathe. No discomfort or uncertainty, just a pure, mature love stared back at him, and for the first time since Kurt had looked at him with love, Blaine was speechless. There was forgiveness in Kurt's gaze, bright and fulfilling as it poured into the last pits craved into Blaine's heart.

"I love you more than anything, and I don't think I ever said that enough or said it first," Kurt continued, and he leaned in and brushed their lips together lightly. "That's going to change, just like a lot has already change. We still have things to work through, but I know this is right… " He picked up the ring box. "This and how it makes me feel is proof of that."

As Kurt leaned in and kissed him again, Blaine closed his eyes, his mind whirling with what was happening, at the very idea that this moment might be what it seemed. They kissed slowly for several minutes, re-familiarizing each other with how their lips meshed and moved. Kurt pulled away again, set the box and letter on his desk, and slid up the bed, tugging Blaine after him.

"Make me yours again," Kurt murmured, pulling Blaine down on top of him. "It's been so long, and I miss you. I've been empty for so long, Blaine… "

Breath shortening, Blaine allowed Kurt to pull him down on top of him, their mouthing meeting in a slow, warm kiss. He was stunned by what was happening, by the suddenness of it, and more than anything he'd expected tears and sobs to start pouring out of his mouth. Instead he only felt stronger, better, wiser than the boy who had imagined a tearful reunion several months ago.

"I love you," Blaine murmured as Kurt's hands curled into his hair, free once more of his gel, but still held in place with mousse now crumbling under Kurt's touch.

"Show me," Kurt requested, and the way his voice caught made Blaine pull back.

Every time he'd fantasized about their reunion, he'd never pictured Kurt in tears, but here they were. Kurt was vulnerable, open, and raw below him, and the sight made Blaine feel empowered and trusted more deeply than he had the night they'd given each other their virginities. He dug his knees into the bed, careful with how he rested on top of Kurt, like he was scared too much weight might be a heavy reminder of where they'd been. His elbows sunk into the mattress as he slowly began to unbutton Kurt's shirt.

Blaine took his time, listening to Kurt's elevated breathing and the soft mewls and sighs he let out as Blaine's mouth caress his neck and down his chest, following the trail of opening buttons. There was no rush. Right now all that mattered was giving Kurt back what he'd lost, fulfilling the truth he was presenting. Gently and lazily, Blaine parted Kurt's shirt, letting his fingers brush over Kurt's skin, feeling him shiver and shudder and arch.

When he'd thought about this, he'd never envisioned a moment like this. Everything had always involved the physical contact and connection they'd always craved when their bodies joined. But right now was something different, a fresh, new canvas before Blaine's eyes, already completed in his mind, but still waiting for the expert stroke of his hand.

"Blaine," Kurt whispered above him, his name soft and adoring on Kurt's lips. "Please… "

Without another syllable, Blaine understood what Kurt needed, understood his body better than his own. He pushed Kurt's shirt off his shoulders, wet his lips, and began the first sure swipe across the pale skin with his tongue. A moan greeted his actions and Blaine continued on, letting his lips and tongue work across Kurt's chest and up his neck, then back down to a taut nipple. His hands joined him as he sucked softly at the little nub, one thumb rubbing Kurt's other nipple as his other hand pushed Kurt's thighs apart.

As Blaine settled down between Kurt's legs, he groaned, lips releasing Kurt's nipple as he felt the hard outline of Kurt's cock against his hip. Together they worked Kurt's shirt off and tossed it to the floor, sending Blaine's along with it in a matter of seconds. Their chests met, eliciting sharp intakes of breath from both men as Kurt clutched desperately at Blaine's back.

"You feel so good," Kurt murmured, taking Blaine's face in his hands as they dropped back down into the pillows. "Better than I remember. Please, don't make me wait any longer."

Blaine had a brief moment of hesitation at Kurt's request, a small flash in his mind of the last time he'd been shirtless in such a setting, but the image melted away into Kurt, panting and wanton below him.

"Okay," Blaine said simply, pressing a single kiss to Kurt's lips before skimming down his torso to his navel.

He sucked over the skin there, the hard press of muscles just under the surface firmer and surprising. As much as everyone kept telling Blaine he'd changed, it seemed Kurt had too. His fingers began working on Kurt's jeans, fumbling in their sudden hurry to get them open, to see proof of Kurt's desire for him, to know that it was absolutely true how much Kurt still craved him.

Kurt's jeans and boxer-briefs hit the floor, and before Kurt could whimper, Blaine was against him, pressing him back into the bed and rubbing gently over his sides and hipbones.

"Shh, I've got you," Blaine assured him. "I'm not going anywhere tonight or ever."

Kurt gave him no response, just arched up against him, cock throbbing and hard, begging for Blaine's touch. Blaine trailed his lips back down Kurt's body, hearing the scrap of wood and the rattle of the handle on the night-stand's drawer. As his lips reached Kurt's belly button, his chin bumped against the wet tip of Kurt's cock, making Kurt's hips jerk upwards and the bottle he'd been trying to pass down drop onto the back of Blaine's neck.

Blaine paused, trying not to laugh but–

"Sorry," Kurt giggled, and then Blaine was laughing too, grabbing the bottle and smiling up at him.

"I thought I was the clumsy one," Blaine remarked as Kurt propped himself up on his elbows and leaned in for a sweet kiss.

"You've been rubbing off on me, I guess," Kurt teased, still giggling as Blaine's hands cupped his jaw and pressed their foreheads together. There were still tears glistening in Kurt's eyes, but they were happy, elated, shining just as brightly as his smile.

"I'll never love anyone the way I love you," Blaine told him.

"I hope not."

"I won't," Blaine promised, kissing him again.

Kurt laid back down and Blaine popped open the bottle of lube, squirting a bit onto his fingers and rubbing them together to warm it. He brought his mouth down to Kurt's cock, kissing along the underside and sucking softly along the wet trail he left. Kurt whined above him, hips rocking, and then Blaine let his slick fingers slip between Kurt's ass cheeks, stroking and probing, until he brushed the puckered rim of skin.

Another whined reached his ears and he slowly circled the rim, mouthing up to the tip of Kurt's cock and taking it between his lips as he slowly pushed it. Kurt gasped and tensed, not used to the sensation like he once was, and Blaine allowed his finger to pause as his mouth sunk down further, coaxing Kurt's muscles to relax so that he could continue moving.

"Yes," Kurt breathed, and as he let the word out with a whoosh of breath, Blaine felt his muscles loosen once more. He began working his finger in and out, thrusting slowly and purposefully as his mouth followed the same rhythm, sliding up and down Kurt's cock.

As Blaine worked in a second finger, and then a third, Kurt began squirming and pressing back onto the digits, groaning and panting from the overwhelming feeling of being filled. It was as Blaine let his gaze drift up, past Kurt's stomach, and over the newly defined muscles of his chest, that his stomach began to ache and tighten with emotion. Kurt had completely given into how he was feeling, was blissed out and pure emotion in that moment, rocking against Blaine and trusting him to make sure he had what he needed.

Blaine swallowed, his mouth sliding off Kurt's cock as tears started to pool in his eyes. It felt so incredible to be trusted again by the man he was in love with. He focused on the movement of his fingers inside Kurt, pressing up and against Kurt's prostate and trying to hold himself together as Kurt moaned once more.

"Blaine, I need you," Kurt called down to him, hips rolling against Blaine's fingers. "Blaine?"

"C- condom," Blaine managed to choke out. "Do you– "

Kurt frozen underneath him, and Blaine knew his mind was catching up with the reason for the request. They'd still used condoms before they'd broken up, but after last Valentine's Day, they'd grown quite accustom to forgoing them.

"Yeah," Kurt said, and Blaine heard the night-stand rattle again.

A second later he heard it close and then Kurt slipped off his fingers, sitting up and working Blaine's pants open. As Kurt eased them down his hips Blaine tried to gain control of his emotions, reminding himself how much assurance Kurt needed from him right now, how right and perfect it was, and that some day they wouldn't feel so overwhelmed by the suggestion of a condom.

The condom was rolled down his cock, and Kurt began lubing him up as they lay back down together.

"It's only us tonight, Blaine," Kurt whispered, his legs falling open as Blaine took a hold of his cock and pressed against Kurt's opening. "Nothing else matters, okay?"

Blaine nodded, capturing Kurt's lips in a searing kiss as he started to press in, his movements slow and controlled. Kurt gasped against his lips, tensing a little, but as Blaine pushed in another inch, stretching the ring of muscles he relaxed with a pleased sigh, legs looping around Blaine's waist as his hips met Kurt's ass.

"You okay?" Blaine breathed, adjusting himself slightly until his knees were pressing into the mattress and he could move more easily.

Instead of a nod or a moan, Kurt smiled blissfully up at him.

"I'm wonderful now that I'm in your arms again," Kurt answered, stroking Blaine's cheek. "Everything always makes more sense when you're in my life."

If this had been six months ago, Blaine imagined his response would have been slightly snarky and teasing, a play on the words Kurt had just utter, but right now, in this moment, he agreed completely. These past five months apart had been the hardest of his life, and while he'd found happiness in them and himself, it was nothing compared to sharing his life and himself with Kurt in such an intimate way.

Kurt's hands slid down his back, urging him to start moving and Blaine obliged, slowly easing his hips back until he was almost out of Kurt's body, then sinking back in with a groan and a cry from Kurt.

A frenzy swirled up between them as their bodies met again, and Blaine found himself being yanked down against Kurt's chest, their mouths crashing together frantically as Kurt's hips started rolling encouragingly. The tears started then, in a different way than he'd imagined as his hips met Kurt's movements. They weren't tears of regret or sorrow or guilt, but filled with warmth and happiness because they were finally in each other's arms again, their hearts open and connecting in a way they hadn't in months.

Kurt was crying too, his gasps punctuating the meeting of their lips whenever Blaine drew back to breathe. Mumbled promises and words joined the slap of their skin, "I miss you" "I love you" "Never again" as Blaine grasped Kurt's cock and began stroking him firmly, feeling his muscles tense around him as he continued to drive his hips forward.

"Blaine, I– " Kurt broke off with a shaky moan, his hips working faster as Blaine stilled his own and angled up, grinding slowly against Kurt's prostate as he fisted his throbbing cock.

With a whimper, Kurt tensed, spilling over Blaine's hands a moment later as he muscles fluttered and clenched around Blaine's cock. Blaine began thrusting again, into the tight heat of Kurt's body, until his stomach tensed suddenly and he came, groaning into the sweaty skin of Kurt's neck.

Tangled together, Kurt and Blaine laid there for a long time, caressing softly and whispering promises into the quiet room. They talked long into the night about how they each needed to communicate better and honestly, how Kurt needed to be more aware and listen better and Blaine needed to speak up about when he was hurting and about what he needed. It was only the start of learning how to communicate better, but as Blaine drifted off in Kurt's arms, he knew they would make it work.

They weren't the same people they had been five months ago; they understood theirs problems and how to work through them now.