Nearly a month passed without them speaking to each other. Kurt started to avoid anything and everything that reminded him of Blaine. At first he'd still tried to go to Glee Club, but he'd begun to skip that as well. Blaine was there, and kept trying to talk to him and explain everything and Kurt couldn't deal with it. He couldn't handle any explanation without his heart shriveling up even more. It was entirely his fault, too. He'd let himself open up to this, and now he knew how Blaine had felt two years ago. This must be fate's idea of karma or something, finally letting him see and feel what Blaine did, only to throw it back up in his face a few weeks afterwards.

Blaine still tried to speak to him, to sit with him at lunch and just be near him in general, but Kurt avoided him to the best of his abilities. He threw himself into perfecting his Cheerios routines and his schoolwork. The Glee Club had been the only group talking to him before this, and now he had nobody. The Cheerios and jocks only sneered at him and whispered slurs and threats they couldn't make good on as long as he had the uniform on. Santana and Brittany surprised him quite a bit, and still kept up their friendship with him, but it was guarded and more formal. They didn't seem to garner any ridicule for it, but overall it didn't do much for Kurt except give him somebody to sit with at lunch.

His father and Carole, with the aid of Finn's blurting, had found out about their break-up. Kurt wasn't even sure they were broken up, but considering how much he stayed away from Blaine he figured they were. Even though he thought it was best, it still hurt, and the fact that he'd probably broken Blaine's heart again kept nagging him.

One part of what Blaine had said before Kurt had stormed away still lingered in Kurt's thoughts, though, and no matter what he couldn't seem to shake it.

"But I did, Kurt. I still do forgive you for that. It's yourself you need to forgive, don't you see that?"

Had Blaine really forgiven him? He couldn't imagine that Blaine would lie to him about something so important and serious, but the idea that his biggest problem was that he couldn't forgive himself for his own actions back then made him uneasy because the more he thought on it, the more he realized it was true.

Kurt had pushed himself away from Blaine in their freshmen year for that reason. Wasn't that the same reason he'd continued to slushy him and force himself to lock down in that cold, desolate Cheerios fortress he'd taken refuge in?

The very thought made him miserable, because after this latest screw-up, and moment of jumping to conclusions he'd done it all over again. Maybe there wasn't meant to be an end to his strings of mistakes. Perhaps they were all hints that he should forget about Blaine and what he felt. But every day when he spotted Blaine in the halls, or caught himself staring across a classroom at the other boy he knew he never could.

February passed roughly into March, bringing another bout of snowstorms and then morphing almost instantly into blustery, bone-chilling rain. By the middle of the month Kurt didn't think he would ever be properly dry again, and while Principal Figgins had forced them to begin practicing in the gym after half the squad ended up sick, the three hours after school were getting increasingly more painful for the group.

After one particularly nasty practice in the middle of March, where Kurt had ended up with a bloody nose from Quinn's kick getting too close to his face, he was exhausted and annoyed. Why did it have to matter so much that he was gay? What was it to anyone else? All of the people who had claimed to be his friends for the past two years pretended he didn't exist, or, in Quinn's case, kicked him in the face to make sure he knew how much she loathed him now. The Glee Club, having found out about his fight with Blaine, had given up on him once more, and were just as rude to him as Quinn.

Still furiously wiping his nose with a wad of tissue as he hoisted his bag over his shoulder, Kurt left the locker room without showering or changing and headed out into the damp parking lot. But when he looked up to find his Navigator he came to a holt. A tall boy was leaning against the driver side door of his car. Kurt had never seen a Dalton uniform up close, but a brief flash from that evening went off in his mind and he instantly knew that this was the same guy, the one who he'd caught kissing Blaine as he'd hurried through that main hall to the backside where Blaine said he was waiting. He'd accidentally parked on the opposite side and realized it too late, only to spy this guy locking lips with his boyfriend.

"About time you got out of there," the boy called as Kurt approached quickly. "I've been waiting out here for almost an h– "

Kurt's fist connected with the taller boy's mouth, his bag sliding down his shoulder to dangle from his elbow.

Kurt had never been more ashamed of himself than he was after lunch that day. He still went about rest of his day in the same fashion, but inside he felt like something was breaking and snapping away from him. Santana and Quinn only encouraged his behavior, and despite how wrong it felt he didn't see any other choice.

He'd chosen this direction and he was stuck. There was nothing that could take back what he'd done, and nothing would ever make him be able to forgive himself for his transgressions. All the parts of himself that he'd always been proud of, and stood up for were sinking, as though Quinn and Santana were two iron anchors attached to the real Kurt and slowly dragging him under until there was nothing else for him to do what take the callousness and cruelty he now knew he was capable of and make that the Kurt Hummel that roamed the halls of McKinley.

So lost in his thoughts and letting his feet guide him through his usual Tuesday routine Kurt found himself in Glee Club after the final bell. The rest of the group arrived together and they all glared at him, but Mr. Schuester entered a moment later with Blaine and they had no chance to call him out for what he'd been doing to Blaine.

"Hey, guys! You're newly elected male lead has a song he'd like to try out to start us off!" Mr. Schuester announced, and Kurt's heart fluttered in panic.

It was directed at him. He was sure of it. Blaine's words would probably be begging him to talk to him and to give their friendship another chance, but Kurt couldn't bring himself to do that now. As much as he cared for Blaine he couldn't let Blaine be hurt by him again. Blaine was better off without him to turn his back every other day. Real friends didn't do that to each other, and Kurt wanted more than anything for Blaine to realize he wasn't worth the forgiveness Blaine thought he could offer.

As Mr. Schuester took a seat amongst them, and Blaine stopped front and center Kurt felt sweat start to break out across his face and neck. There was no way he could ever refuse Blaine with a sincere song, and for the first time he was going to have to. It was the best thing for the other boy, to be without him and his cruelty.

But then Blaine's head tilted up and he caught sight of the fury burning strong in Blaine's usually warm eyes. One of the band members carried the microphone stand up to Blaine, whispered something in his ear, cast a pitying look at Kurt and then took his place once more.

Was he wrong? H- had he finally pushed Blaine away effectively?

That voice was back, louder than ever, and Kurt made a motion to rise, but the first notes began and he found himself unable to move any further. It was familiar, different than what his memory was thinking of but familiar enough for him to realize he knew it from somewhere. Blaine's gaze had dropped back to the ground, his hands resting heavily on the microphone in its stand, propping him up more so than holding the microphone in place.

"I'm holding on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground... "

Kurt's stomach knotted up as the first words washed over him. He did know this song, and, god, how he wished he didn't. He done it then, Blaine was furious with him, might even hate him, and that's what he deserved. He didn't deserve to have a friend as good and kind as Blaine and now he didn't. Now there was just a hurt, angry, beautiful boy standing in front of him, his voice raw and rough as it echoed around the little room.

"You tell me that you need me then you go and cut me down, but wait,"

Blaine's eyes met his for the first time since he'd began and Kurt felt like he was choking, though on what he didn't know. Guilt, air, self-loathing, maybe a clumpy, rotten mixture of all three, but the fierce fire in Blaine's eyes wasn't going away. It grew steadily stronger as Kurt looked back and felt Blaine's palpable pain close around him.

"It's too late to apologize

It's too late"

Kurt squirmed in his chair, folding in on himself at the harsh look on Blaine's face, the glares of his club mates, and the dumbfounded expression on Mr. Schuester's. He deserved, he kept reminding himself. Absolutely, completely deserved this, but that didn't stop it was ripping a hole into is chest and filling it with arsenic.

Kurt's ears felt clogged as Blaine continued into the next verse, his heart was pounding a dull, painful rhythm against his ribs, and a moment late Blaine's voice slashed through him, forcing him to look up and meet that horrid gaze one more time.

"I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue, and you say,

'Hey, sorry' like the angel heaven let me think was you– "

That was the last of the song Kurt heard. He bolted out of his chair, tears in his eyes, his chest cracked open and as raw and pained as Blaine's voice. Across the room and through the door, he didn't look back or hear the music inside the room stop, but it did. His heart wasn't the only one breaking.

Even milliseconds later, Kurt knew it had been a stupid move. He might be flexible and good at high-kicks, but he was no boxer. He didn't know a damn thing about throwing punches, especially if the sudden throbbing in his knuckles was anything to go by, and this guy could probably knock him off his feet in a second. But he didn't care. This boy had kissed Blaine, had put his lips where Kurt loved to have his own lips, and he was fuming at the very thought. How dare this guy come here to... what? Taunt him? Lord that kiss over Kurt's head? Maybe even... had Blaine moved on and found something better in this boy's arms?

Sebastian, Kurt was pretty sure that was his name at least, stumbled back and hit the wing mirror, looking shocked at Kurt's bold move.

"Here to serenade me about your triumphs on breaking us up?" Kurt snarled, raising his fist again. "Get the hell off my car and go back to your little canary school!"

"W- Warblers," Sebastian corrected, wincing slightly as he rubbed his jaw and lips. "We're Warblers."

"Whatever," Kurt snapped, trying to take a defensive stance incase Sebastian attempted to hit him back. The other boy didn't seem at all interested, though, and that surprised Kurt. It might have just been a ruse to make him let his guard down, but Sebastian didn't look furious. If anything he looked resigned and awkward.

"I'm not here to fight with you," Sebastian added after several silent moments. "I... I'm here to apologize."

"What?" Kurt demanded in amazement, letting his bag finally slide off his arm and onto the concrete by his feet. He grimaced and massaged the knuckles of his right hand, glancing down to see if they were bruising or swelling.

"Look, I– I can be a really dick, all right? Most of the time I just treat everything like it's some stupid joke, but... I didn't know you're Blaine's boyfriend," Sebastian admitted. "He didn't really say he had one, at least not to me. I thought he was hot, so I went for it, and... "

"And what?" Kurt snapped angrily, scooping up his bag and unlocking his Navigator. He tossed his bag into the backseat and slammed the door closed in time to hear Sebastian's next words.

"Look, I'm sorry, all right? It was my fault. I kissed him. He didn't even have a chance to stop me. I don't think he even realized it was happening until after I was kissing him, and– "Sebastian broke off with a frustrated noise. "Just, please, talk to him. I'm sick of him ignoring me and the rest of Warblers not talking to me because of this. It was a mistake, and it won't happen again. Just get your boy back so I can have my friends back."

Kurt was silence after his little speech, staring hard into the backseat of his Navigator and thinking over Sebastian's words. He'd wanted more than anything to believe that Blaine wouldn't go around kissing another boy when they were boyfriends, but he'd had a difficult time thinking otherwise after what he'd seen.

"They're not talking to you because of Blaine?" Kurt asked after a moment.

"They love Blaine to death, and he won't even come to dinner with us because of what I did," Sebastian grumbled. "None of them want anything to do with me anymore."

Kurt contemplated Sebastian's words for several minutes, feeling nervous and yet hopeful. "I know how that is," Kurt told him. "Keeps happening to me over and over."

Sebastian cleared his throat and took a few steps away from Kurt's Navigator. "Just talk to him, or let him talk to you. All the guys miss him, and... and I bet you do, too."

Surprised by his words Kurt stared at Sebastian and was so amazed he'd let Sebastian grab his hand and stuff a crumbled bit of paper into it before he stepped away. "Text me when you two figure this out. We can all hit up Scandals or something."

Kurt watched taller boy disappear across the lot and climb into a bright blue Camaro. He wasn't the least surprised by the car the other boy drove, but the fact that he'd come all the way over here to acknowledge his own screw-ups and speak to Kurt said a lot. It was more than Kurt had been able to do after he'd hurt Blaine two years ago, and part of him admired Sebastian for being courageous enough to take the chance.

He'd find some way to talk to Blaine, even if it was only to confirm that they were really done with each other once and for all. If this was the last time he would have to ask Blaine for forgiveness because of his own stupidity he was going to at least make it count.