Chapter 3

Kurt didn't know whether Blaine would be back at his locker in the morning with a coffee for him but, feeling it was about time he returned the favour, he'd stopped off at the Lima Bean when Finn drove them to school, and bought one for Blaine. He stood at his locker now patiently waiting, hoping he'd get here soon so his coffee wouldn't get cold.

Perhaps he wouldn't come over until Kurt had left. After all Kurt had made a good job of avoiding him the day before. He could be upset with Kurt now, seen him at his locker, and left.

"Well someone's suffering from the Tuesday Blues," he heard the familiar voice from his right, and realised how glum he must look, leant against his locker, swirling Blaine's coffee.

"Isn't it the Monday Blues?" Kurt retorted, raising his eyebrows.

"Tuesdays can be blue too," Blaine said, Kurt imagining a little shrug. "I see you've got a coffee already!" he added. "Should I drink this then?"

"Oh no!" Kurt said quickly. "This is for you," he held the coffee out, "The Lima Bean is a bit out of my way on our route to school so we usually can't stop off there. I made an exception today- medium drip, right?" He felt Blaine take the coffee out his hand and replace it with Kurt's.

"Ah, you know my coffee order," he said knowingly.

Kurt's head shot up because for that fleeting moment, he wanted nothing more than to place a face with that voice. He crushed the thought as quickly as it came and tried to smile, ignoring the fact his hand was aching to reach out and hold Blaine's. Just so he could try and imagine them again.

"Thank you, you didn't have to though," he replied at Kurt's smile. "If it was out of your way."

"I wanted to. Consider it my peace offering for my behaviour yesterday," Kurt insisted, taking a sip from his coffee. "Thank you for mine too." There was a pause. Kurt hated these kinds of pauses. There were times when sitting and walking with Blaine in silence was the easiest thing, but when he paused for this long, and Kurt had no idea what he was doing, he felt exposed, on show in front of millions. Even if the only person watching him was just Blaine.

"You had every right, Kurt," Blaine sighed. "I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable." Kurt hoped the smile on his face looked less forced than it felt because how could he have made Blaine feel like this? Made him feel so guilty, even though all he'd done was treat Kurt the way he'd wanted to be treated by everyone else. The last thing Kurt wanted was for Blaine to tread carefully around him, thinking before he spoke.

"Blaine, you didn't," Kurt insisted, "Honestly." There was another pause yet Kurt could hear a very audible slurp of coffee and he relaxed, taking a drink from his own. After a moment he added, "But can we just leave it? That topic?"

"I guess," Blaine said warily, and from his hesitancy Kurt knew this wouldn't be the last he heard of this. The noise of laughter and idle chatter in the corridor was dying down, indicating the bell would ring any moment.

"We should get to class," Kurt said, grabbing his cane from where it was leaning, and they set off down the hall for a moment in silence, Kurt passing his empty cup to Blaine when he asked if he'd finished. He assumed he threw it into the bin as they made their way.

"It's a good job you didn't come to Glee actually," Blaine commented as they sat down in English. Kurt glanced in his direction quickly, eyebrows knitted in confusion. Finn had come home sulking the night before but he didn't tell him anything, not even when he tried to use warm milk as a way to coax out information. "The football guys were forced to join up," he carried on, Kurt hearing the shuffle of Blaine's bag as he tried to fish out his English book.

"What?" Kurt hissed, resorting to whispering and leaning over to hear Blaine better as the class quietened down.

"Oh yeah, I really have no idea what's going on," Blaine whispered back to Kurt, "I really did not sign up for this kind of thing. Puck and Rachel sang a song and then before I knew it, everyone was yelling. Santana was going at it in Spanish..."

Kurt suppressed a laugh as Blaine carried on about the Glee club's antics the day before. When he sounded so serious and worried, it wouldn't be right to make a joke out of it. Or laugh that it was a good job all Santana did was yell in Spanish and not get the razor blades out of her hair. He could hear Mrs Rose clearing her throat pointedly, so made to turn towards her, not before whispering back to Blaine, "Well now you're making me feel l should have gone!"

He tried to make it sound like a joke.

Even though, really, when Blaine was talking, it had only made Kurt wish he could have.

Blaine didn't dare bring up Glee Club for the rest of the day. The last thing he wanted was to end up having to think twice before saying things to Kurt. The fact he was blind had hardly come up in conversation since when they had first met. Blaine didn't want to have to test the waters for what was okay to say, and what was off limits. And he was pretty sure Kurt didn't want that to happen either.

The problem was, bringing up Glee again would upset Kurt, for reasons unknown to Blaine and apparently the rest of the club.

Blaine mused aloud one practice about Kurt not being in the club, causing the rest of them to shrug and mumble. Puck and Finn quickly turned back to their instruments not giving it a second thought. Brittany told Blaine Kurt had heard her singing Britney Spears and was too intimidated to join, although Rachel cut in at this point and said if he was intimidated by anyone it would be herself. Santana had completely ignored them and their discussion, instead choosing to sit off to the side and file her nails. Blaine knew if one person would know why Kurt didn't want to join Glee it would be her. But the fact she glared daggers at him whenever he tried to approach her put him off asking.

In all honesty, perhaps the intimidation was the best guess. Sometimes it was intimidating being a part of this group. There were so many voices, opinions and egos in one small room, Blaine often felt like skulking off to the side with Mike before he got caught up in the middle of it all. And Blaine was someone who loved attention, whose life depended on being on stage and singing. The one time he felt sure of himself, the one time he didn't have to work too hard at fitting in. But the people in this club were like that too. There were less members of the club here than at Dalton, and yet it felt more. This club seemed to be the be all and end all for most of these people, whereas with the Warblers most of them had picked up choir practice as a bit of fun, or for extra credit.

And he knew that Kurt must feel that love for performing too. He just knew it. And for Kurt to stop himself from carrying on what he loved because he was blind... it was unfair. Cruel. Blaine couldn't let Kurt do that. He told himself he didn't know him well enough. That if Santana or Rachel or Finn couldn't get Kurt to join, what chance did he have?

If they'd even tried to get Kurt to join. Or properly at least. Rachel had said she'd asked him occasionally but it seemed to Blaine she did this to most of the people in the school.

In that day's Glee session, Blaine arrived early, sat at the back near the window, clicking his pen absently. The choir room was quiet, and his eyes drifted to the piano. The piano he hadn't seen Kurt play since two weeks previously. But he could remember the look on Kurt's face as he'd played. He could remember how much he could see of Kurt putting everything he had into the song.

Would it be so bad to say he didn't understand? That he couldn't fathom why Kurt refused so adamantly to join? When Kurt seemed to take control of every other aspect of his life, even going as far as continuing piano lessons after his accident so that his blindness wouldn't control him, but he'd let it stop him from singing and dancing.

Accident. Blaine turned the word over in his head. He carried on mulling it over, even as the room started to fill with voices laughing and people moved over to sit around him. Mike pulled up a chair beside him, Tina and Artie sitting next to him, and struck up a conversation about football that Blaine tried to concentrate on.

He hadn't spoken about any kind of accident to Kurt, hadn't asked anyone what this accident was. It didn't feel right to ask someone else, and it didn't seem the right time to talk about something so delicate with Kurt.

The room silenced when the rest of the football team entered. Blaine's stomach in knots, he tried to ignore how he was suddenly digging his pen into his leg. This was what he'd signed up for, coming back to public school.

The football players.

Jeering as they entered, and when one caught his eye he quickly looked away, desperate to avoid any kind of contact with the people he associated with his old bullies. The people who were tormenting his friends in this group. And mocking the closest friend he'd manage to make at this school. Someone, who no matter how tall they stood, or tried to take control, couldn't fight back.

Blaine put his pen in his pocket before he dug a hole in his jeans.

"Agghhh!"

Kurt jumped in his seat, heart pounding at the sudden noise from right behind him and looked up.

"Aggghhh!" he heard again, and the bubbly laughter escaping after the noise gave away who had snuck up to his desk in the library.

"What are you doing?" Blaine was stomping his feet uncoordinatedly, still laughing at how he'd made Kurt jump.

"What does it sound like?" Blaine laughed, followed by more enthusiastic foot stomps.

"I have no idea, but it sounds like very bad dancing," he sighed, closing his textbook. "Is Finn out yet? He's meant to be taking me home." The stomping continued, even as the old librarian at the desk hushed them.

"Not yet, he's still wiping his makeup off," Blaine stage whispered right next to Kurt's ear, the then continuing to shuffle and drag his feet around.

"Makeup?" he said, furrowing his brow.

"Yeah! Zombie makeup!" Blaine told him, the excitement in his voice bubbling over. "You'll never guess what we're doing for the half-time show, Kurt. It's going to be amazing!"

"Hmm... whatever could it be," Kurt mused, pretending to be deep in thought. "Dancing like a zombie. Zombie makeup. Why it wouldn't be Thriller, would it?"

Blaine stopped moving and Kurt grinned smugly, sure that right now Blaine's face had fallen and he was staring at Kurt dumb-founded.

"No!" Blaine laughed, teasingly, dissipating Kurt's image of the crestfallen Blaine. "Well, kind of. We're doing a mash up with Heads Will Roll. But, however did you guess?" he asked, a mocking tone in his voice.

"Oh a sixth sense," Kurt replied, equally as mocking, "Not because it isn't the obvious, cliché choice."

Blaine snorted, moving forwards and his arms must have been stuck out stiffly as Kurt felt them brush against his shoulders. "Ahhh,"he called out, and Kurt would have fought back heroically if the old librarian hadn't stormed around to their desk and once again hushed them.

They made their way out after that, Blaine carrying Kurt's textbook, while still shuffling in his zombie like fashion, despite Kurt's harsh laughs at what an idiot Blaine was making of himself. Kurt pushed the ache of the wish he could see what Blaine was doing to the back of his mind. If he started to think that, it would lead to wishing he could see what Blaine looked like, what everyone looked like, what the school looked like, what the town, the sky or the whole God damn world looked like. Everything he was missing out on. Everything he told himself he'd gotten over. Wishing he could see Blaine was pointless. He focused on his voice, on the noise of his staccato movements beside him, the loud laughter echoing through the empty corridor.

For a moment Kurt imagined him throwing his head back, eyes crinkling, just as his own mother had done when she laughed.

He lost himself to the thought for a moment, before he heard what else Blaine was doing, and faltered.

"But it's too late to say you're sorry," Blaine began to sing, from slightly in front of him, still moving in the same way. "How would I know, why should I care," his voice quietened as he moved further down the corridor, Kurt stood in the same spot, looking towards where Blaine was singing. "Please don't bother tryin' to find her, She's not the- Hey, what's the matter?" Footsteps ran up closer to him until he could hear Blaine breathing close by him.

He knew he was being watched, looked over by a now possibly worried Blaine.

"Nothing," Kurt stammered out, trying to continue walking, as if this was the truth. "I just... your voice is nice."

He'd never heard Blaine sing before. And even though he was just messing about, dancing in an empty corridor because he was free to do that, without the rest of the school to cast judging eyes, he still sounded amazing. The enthusiasm as he sang, how he let his bursts of carefree laughter, it had brought Kurt to a stop. Because he could have stood there and listened for a lot longer.

"Oh," Kurt carried on walking, even after hearing the slight shock in Blaine's voice, "Thanks. I mean, I was just fooling around a bit really. We're doing that song tomorrow in Glee." Kurt stiffened slightly at the mention of Glee. But Blaine didn't press further, although he had stopped singing, and didn't say anything to Kurt until they reached his locker.

"You just seemed a bit off," he finally admitted. Kurt tilted his head slightly, as he opened his locker. He felt Blaine lean in and press slightly against him as he put Kurt's book away, the sudden heat against Kurt's chest disappearing as soon as Blaine leaned back.

Kurt swallowed thickly before replying.

"I've never heard you sing before," he was almost too quiet- he knew that- staring down at his feet. "It was... it was really nice."

He wished he could see Blaine's face. He didn't care if it made him long to know what everyone else looked like or the school, or the rest of the world. For that moment, he wanted to see Blaine's little shy smile, or his blush. He wanted to see him react to a compliment. More importantly: he wanted to see him react to a compliment from him.

It really didn't seem that much to ask.

Blaine couldn't answer him before they heard Finn calling from down the end of the corridor. Kurt heard a shuffle from the side as Blaine moved away.

"See you tomorrow, Blaine," Kurt said as he smiled.

"Bye, Kurt," Blaine replied. "Don't forget your math stuff by the way!" He called as Kurt walked away towards Finn, cane out to guide him. "You aren't getting out of tutor sessions again!" Kurt groaned as Blaine laughed and, before he turned the corner with Finn, stuck his tongue out in the direction he hoped Blaine was standing.

Finn had been fine the day before. Driving home after he'd found Kurt talking to Blaine, he had chatted on with Kurt quite happily over how things were going in Glee. How the football players were joining in with the half-time show, and seemed to enjoy it, but as he started talking about Sue Sylvester's antics, Kurt felt himself zoning out.

"And Sue's in for a surprise. The girls will choose Glee, I just know it," he rambled on. What exactly the girls had to choose was lost to Kurt, pressing his head against the cold window trying to divert his thoughts from anyone or anything but Blaine.

Always fall so hard and fast, Hummel, he thought bitterly, before trying to push it to the back of his mind.

But today, Finn was furious. Returning home late from school because of Glee and football practice, he'd been quiet and distant at dinner until Carole asked him what was wrong, and suddenly he couldn't be shut up.

As soon as he could be excused, leaving Finn still moaning to Burt and Carole in the kitchen, Kurt moved back into his room, slamming the door behind him. Instantly greeted by Patti, he scratched behind her ears, pulling out his phone from his pocket as he did so.

It rang out 6 times before she answered, and he was sure she'd spent that time looking at who was calling and deciding whether it was safe to answer.

"Santana, what's going on?" Kurt hissed down the phone, trying not to let Finn hear him, even though he was still ranting in the kitchen.

"What do you mean?" she replied, sounding rather bored down the other end, or sounding toobored.

"I mean why has Finn come home moaning about-"

"But how could they do that, Mom? You agree with me, right?" Finn yelled from the kitchen, and times like these were the times he hated the fact his room was downstairs.

"Finn! Shut up!" Kurt yelled, pulling his phone away from his head.

"Nice one, Hummel," Santana commented dryly as Kurt returned to the phone, even though he could still hear Finn saying something in the other room.

"Stop it, Santana," Kurt snapped. "Finn told us all over dinner what's going on. You're choosing Cheerios over Glee? Santana, you love Glee, why are you doing this?"

"Why do you even care? It's not like you're in that club. You refuse to join," she pointed out, and Kurt couldn't pretend that didn't sting. "Besides it's not even that fun-"

"Don't lie to me," Kurt cut in, angrily, "You told me you like singing. You love being in Glee club. Why don't you just admit that you're scared of what people are thinking?"

"It has nothing to do with that!" Santana shot back, she sighed down the other end of the phone, and there was a long pause, Kurt not wanting to interrupt whatever would come next. "Kurt," she continued faintly softer, "You know the only reason I've been able to look out for you is because of being on the Cheerios. If I wasn't, don't you realise how much worse things would be?"

"Why are you making this about me?" Kurt said, not liking the strangling sound coming from his throat, falling to sit at the end of his bed. "I don't need looking after! Just stay in Gl-"

"Kurt, Sue is making us choose! I can't quit Cheerios, not now," Santana half-yelled and Kurt could hear the desperation there, something she quickly tried to cover up. "Listen, Kurt, being a cheerleader practically makes me untouchable at school. And you know- you know it, Kurt- that you do need help and things would be worse."

Kurt stayed silent. His breathing was heavy down the phone, holding the phone tightly in his hand, shaking slightly from the cries he was trying so hard to suppress.

"Kurt, you know I don't mean that you're helpless..." she trailed off, obviously not knowing how to continue. Santana Lopez had never been one for these kinds of moments. And most days, Kurt was thankful for it, and then others, he just wished she'd open up. At least to him.

"I know," he mumbled, sniffing, but then holding his head a little higher. "I know, Santana. We don't have to talk about that, now, okay?"

They stayed silent for a long moment, Kurt listening to the soothing sounds of Santana's breathing down the other end. Pauses on the phone were easier. In the end, the other person was just as oblivious to what the other person was doing, and not just himself. He assumed she was lying down on her bed, so lay down to do the same, pulling his glasses off his face, and throwing them to the side.

"Is puffy nipples still crying?" Santana said after a while.

"Hmm... he's calmed down a bit, I think," Kurt sighed, "You know he just cares about Glee and you guys." Santana snorted, causing Kurt to sit up, "I'm serious, Santana. Just think about what you're doing."

He could hear her huffing on the other end, refusing to reply. If he wasn't careful she'd put the phone down on him, and he hadn't spoken to her- just her- in weeks.

"Do you want me to take you shopping next week?" she said after a pause. He would have flinched at how she worded it, how she said it like it was a chore for her, but Kurt knew Santana didn't do things that were chores unless she got something out of it. And she wasn't getting anything from this.

He took the little things from this as much as he could.

"I suppose," he replied, standing up, stretching. "Could Blaine come along?" Santana inhaled sharply so Kurt quickly added, "I told him he could come with us sometime so I just-"

"Sure, why not?" she spat, "It's not like you don't spend enough time with him already."

"We don't have to invite him," Kurt said, dismally, kicking at the floor. "Sorry." He paused a second and then decided to ask. "Do you not like him?"

She was quiet for a long moment, and it was almost too long. Holding his breath, waiting for her to answer seemed to drag over minutes, but it couldn't have been longer than a few seconds.

"I don't like a lot of people," she sniffed. "He's short and I don't trust short people especially when-"

"Santana..." Kurt started.

"-they wear that much gel too. I don't know what you see in him, because, honestly, does he need to put that much-"

"Santana!" She stopped talking instantly, and Kurt knew she'd suddenly become aware of what she was doing. "Please stop it. I don't want to know what he looks like."

"No... I got that," she said, the apology in her voice, even if she refused to say it. "Not yet?"

Kurt didn't answer. He couldn't. He couldn't explain properly to anyone, sometimes not even himself, why he didn't want to hear what people looked like.

But he didn't want to learn what someone he cared about looked like from a third party, in a passing conversation. And even though most of the time he wished he could see what Blaine looked like, or that he could see his smile, or his eyes, it pulled him back in the end to where he was now. Hopelessly imagining because he'd never have the real thing. He had his own image of Blaine. And he couldn't have that image changed because someone decided to vent their own bitchiness to him.

He tried again to change the topic to make Santana reconsider her decision about Glee club, but she only ended up snapping at him in return, finishing off with a short, "Bye, Hummel," and finally cutting the call off.

He'd have to try talking to her in school tomorrow.

Kurt was set on talking to Santana it seemed. He'd met Blaine at his locker and demanded he take him to Santana so he could talk to her. When they'd found her by her own locker, Kurt hardly got one word out before she turned and stormed off.

The day before when they had found out Brittany, Santana and Quinn were leaving Glee, Blaine had been confused by their decision, but a lot of the club hadn't seemed shocked. Rachel had merely shrugged and said it was no shock. But to Blaine it was, because he thought they loved Glee.

And then the following drama with the football players quitting happened.

If the rest of them had taken two seconds to stop yelling, Blaine might have been able to tell them all that high school regulations meant they only needed nine players on the team. In the end, he'd had to raise his voice too, until they listened.

He hadn't expected the girls to all volunteer to play. Or to be dragged in himself. He'd thought more of the school would sign up to join the team, and he wouldn't have to play.

Being at this school was going to get him killed. By six foot three football players in body armour.

He hadn't even had the chance to tell Kurt about what was going on in the football team, or that he was joining, because every time he saw him that day in school, he was asking to be taken to Santana. And every time they found her, she'd turn to leave, glaring at Kurt, even though he couldn't see and had no idea how furious she looked.

It wasn't until the end of the day that Kurt managed to talk to her.

"Santana, will you listen to me for a second!" Kurt called at her, and this time Brittany stopped Santana from taking off, turning her to talk to Kurt. Blaine stood off to the side of the empty corridor. Santana folded her arms and tilted her head, waiting for Kurt to continue. He suddenly seemed so small in the middle of the corridor, clutching his cane in both hands. His head was looking slightly off to the side of Santana, and Blaine swore he could see a flash of guilt in Santana's eyes, before quickly being replaced by a cold expression.

He felt like melting back into the lockers when she glanced up and glowered at him over Kurt's head.

When Kurt and Santana had finished talking, and she and Brittany walked away, Blaine was studying Kurt, who began walking in the opposite direction.

"Little hypocritical, don't you think?" Blaine called after Kurt, pushing himself off the wall to follow him.

Kurt turned his head a little, frowning. "How?"

"You've spent all day trying to get Santana to talk to you, and I had no idea it was to get her to rejoin Glee," Blaine said, folding his arms. Kurt turned his body so he was fully facing Blaine, his head turned up, defensively.

"I don't understand why that's hypocritical," Kurt shot back. And Blaine could see those defences Kurt had had the day they met being put back up. But Blaine didn't want to stop, because he'd just seen Kurt do the same thing to Santana.

"You know why," Blaine took a step closer and watched Kurt's face for a reaction. "You've tried all day to get Santana to go back to Glee, and every time someone asks you to, you won't."

"I don't want to have this conversation with you again," he stuttered on his words slightly, and whispering added, "Why can't you just leave this alone?"

"I can't, Kurt. I can't when I see how sad it makes you. When I see you in the choir room at lunch and I can tell you want to join in." Kurt's face fell, and he looked to his side, away from where he knew Blaine was standing. "Why do you keep trying to tell Santana to rejoin, and refuse to yourself?"

"Because she has nothing holding her back!" Kurt yelled, head shooting up, voice cracking. And Blaine realised the only reason he hadn't run away was because he physically couldn't.

Kurt didn't know what to do; he was stuck, unable to move because how was he meant to storm off when he could just see where he was going? When Blaine was sure to follow him and apologise? Or say something that made no difference no matter how heart felt it was. He was stuck there, not knowing what to do, with Blaine probably looking at him pityingly. Feeling sorry for poor, pathetic, blind Kurt Hummel.

Because that was all he'd ever be known for.

That's why when he felt arms wrap around his waist he stood up straight. And when Blaine tightened them, he stiffened. Kurt didn't know how to respond for a moment, arms hanging to his side limply. He was still holding his cane in one hand, so he dropped it to the floor and after hesitating slightly, wrapped his own arms around Blaine.

Kurt couldn't decide if he was comfortable or not. Blaine was certainly shorter than him, he found as he rested his head against his shoulder. Blaine was offering him something and all Kurt wanted to do was bury his head there, but his glasses would dig awkwardly into his face, so he leant his chin against Blaine's shoulder. He didn't even realise he'd gripped tighter around Blaine's waist. He was a lot more slender than Kurt had imagined. He was warm, his own head resting against Kurt's shoulder, his fingers playing with the material of Kurt's shirt. He'd expected pity or an apology but this was something else. He didn't want this to break; he couldn't have this taken away. Not the soft breaths against his neck and definitely not the strong embrace Blaine held him in. He thought, terrified for a second, about jocks turning the corner and seeing the two of them, but even that couldn't give him the strength to pull away and tell Blaine he didn't want this.

"You don't either, Kurt, you know," Blaine whispered into his ear after a couple of minutes, the warm air tickling it slightly.

He stood back a little, bringing some distance between them both.

"Don't what?" he asked, shivering slightly at the loss of contact, Blaine's hands moving up and now resting on his shoulders.

"Have anything holding you back."

Kurt inhaled sharply.

Always fall so hard and fast.