Until I'm Bleeding
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Until I'm Bleeding: Chapter 9


E - Words: 4,106 - Last Updated: May 07, 2012
Story: Complete - Chapters: 14/14 - Created: May 07, 2012 - Updated: May 07, 2012
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"Blaine, you had a number you wanted to run through?" Mr. Schue asked.

"Yeah, if that's okay," Blaine said, standing up, holding sheet music.

"The stage is yours," he replied, giving Blaine a wide smile.

Blaine walked up to the band and handed out the music. Walking to the mike, he looked a little nervous. Kurt thought he looked wonderful. He still wasn't wearing bowties, which disappointed him, but his dark green button down over distressed jeans was a stunning combination for his eyes.

"Hi everyone. So, this song I picked has some odd lyrics. But when I researched the song and why the band wrote it, it was during a time when the band wasn't being signed and they didn't really know what to do. They felt oppressed, held in, and this song, for them, was like a cry for help. For them and for me, it's about breaking free from the things holding them back. I hope you like it," Blaine finished and nodded toward the band. Kurt cocked his head, wondering at Blaine's words, but it was hard to decipher.

Life's too short to even care at all, oh

I'm losing my mind losing my mind losing control oh oh

These fishes in the sea they're staring at me oh oh

A wet world aches for a beat of a drum, oh

If I could find a way to see this straight

I'd run away

To some fortune that I should have found by now

I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down, come down

Life's too short to even care at all oh

I'm coming up now coming up now out of the blue oh oh

These zombies in the park they're looking for my heart oh oh oh

A dark world aches for a splash of the sun whoa oh oh

If I could find a way to see this straight

I'd run away

To some fortune that I should have found by now

And so I run now to the things they said could restore me

Restore life the way it should be

I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down

Life's too short to even care at all oh

I'm losing my mind losing my mind losing control oh oh

If I could find a way to see this straight

I'd run away

To some fortune that I should have found by now

So I run now to the things they said could restore me

Restore life the way it should be

I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down

One more spoon of cough syrup now

One more spoon of cough syrup now

Everyone stood and applauded as Blaine finished the song. He'd put his all into the song, Kurt could tell. He looked drained, but satisfied. Kurt still had no idea what he'd meant by singing the song. The lyrics really were weird, but it was a beautiful song. He hoped it had brought some sort of relief to Blaine. Walking off the stage, Blaine returned to his seat and practice resumed.

They were getting ready for a benefit night in two weeks to raise money for Velocity. They would have solos, duets, and group numbers. Everyone was allowed to pick their own solo, but Mr. Schue would be assigning some specific duets. The group was buzzing with excitement as each of them would have a chance to shine. If they earned enough money, they could afford the trip to New York to participate in a national choir exposition, which they'd never been able to do before.

After practice, Blaine and Kurt walked to the café for a cup of coffee. They'd been doing this a few times per week for about almost three weeks now. It was awkward at first, but each time they met it became easier and more comfortable between them. Blaine asked a ton of questions about the past, the parts that Kurt had been involved in. Blaine also showed an interest in Kurt himself, asking him about his childhood and school years. Kurt did so, pleased that Blaine had asked. But Kurt was always very careful to never mention anything about being gay or anything to do with the topic of relationships. This friendship was a fragile and like an egg, it could crack at any moment. There were moments when Blaine showed hints of homophobia, but it also looked like he was making an effort to stop. It helped when they had coffee with all the people from Velocity. They were a hugely diverse group and seeing all of them interacting with love, approval, and acceptance seemed to encourage Blaine to do the same.

"So are you going to the Omega party tonight?" Kurt asked, keeping his eyes down so Blaine couldn't see his reaction to the answer.

"Yeah, I figured I'd go. Sounds like fun," Blaine responded.

Kurt did a fist pump in his mind and smiled. "Yeah, me too. I figured I'd at least drop in since it seems like most everyone is going," he said. If Blaine hadn't decided to go, he wouldn't have either, but nobody needed to know that, did they?

In the end, all of the Velocity members decided to go. When they all met up to walk from Mem-Aud to the fraternity house, Kurt was shocked to see Blaine had a girl with him. She was as tall as Blaine with lovely brown curly hair and brown eyes. Blaine introduced her as Miranda and she shook hands with everyone. She was very sweet; Kurt hated her on sight, though he didn't really because she seemed genuinely nice. Blaine deserved the best, he kept telling himself. This wouldn't break his heart again, he lied to himself as they made their way to the party.

. . .

Blaine and Miranda took a break from dancing and sat on the sideline, enjoying a couple of shots while they watched the dancers.

"I love Velocity. I've seen you guys perform several times, you're a very talented group," Miranda noted, her brown eyes sparkling.

"Thank you on behalf of everyone," Blaine said with a laugh. "There are some extraordinary voices in there. See that thin guy over there in the skinny jeans?" He said, pointing toward Kurt.

"Yeah, the guy who loves to shimmy, I met him earlier" Miranda noted, smiling.

Blaine grinned. "Yeah, the shimmy guy. Anyway, Kurt is what's called a counter tenor. An amazing voice. He can sing higher than a lot of girls. It's always an experience to hear him sing, so pure it's staggering," he said, not sure why he'd just shared all that.

"You sound like a big fan," Miranda said, downing a shot.

"Well, yeah, when you're surrounded by a large group of hugely talented people, you kinda can't help becoming a fan," Blaine said.

They enjoyed a comfortable silence for a while, watching the dancers in front of them. The song changed and "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails started playing. Blaine had always loved the intense, sexual song. But he didn't want to dance to it. He'd tried and tried to dance properly with his dates, but it never felt right.

"Ooh, I love this song, wanna dance?" Miranda asked, standing.

"I'm gonna sit this one out. You go for it," he said, waving her ahead.

"Suit yourself," she smiled and went to join the writhing on the floor.

As Blaine sat there, he thought this song could easily turn the party into a sex riot. People were dancing so close they were practically crawling into each other. He saw one girl who had one man in front of her and one behind and all three were grinding and pumping against one another. Another couple had the woman bending over until her hands were flat on the floor, she was undulating her hips while her partner grinded into her ass. Then his eyes were drawn to Kurt. He was dancing with Santana and Brittany. All of them were doing this move that was almost a belly dance, hips moving sinuously to the beat. The way Kurt's hips were moving so fluidly, almost independent of his body, hypnotized him, and as much as it shamed him to admit, he was getting turned on. Kurt suddenly dipped down to the floor backward onto one hand then stood back up, his body rolling in a sensual wave that sent shockwaves of need through Blaine's body.

As the song ended, people began chanting 'Again, again, again', until the DJ got the point and started the song and the sex riot over again. Immediately, people were on each other. Blaine could have sworn that the temperature rose twenty degrees just during the first verse. His eyes returned once again to Kurt who had been joined by Lauren, Tina, and Mike and they were doing some of the same moves, undulating, bending, writhing to the beat. Blaine's heart began to pound and he felt like he was going to explode. He was at a loss of what to do.

You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you

You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you

Help me I broke apart my insides, help me I've got no soul to sell

Help me the only thing that works for me, help me get away from myself

I want to fuck you like an animal

I want to feel you from the inside

Blaine was going crazy. His eyes would not leave that small ass of Kurt's, it was all he could concentrate on. But he's not gay, he tells himself. It's gotta be the booze. Yeah, the booze. And it doesn't matter what you do when you're drunk right?

I want to fuck you like an animal

My whole existence is flawed

You get me closer to god

You can have my isolation, you can have the hate that it brings

You can have my absence of faith, you can have my everything

Blaine walked up to Puck who was standing nearby. "Hey man, can you distract Miranda for a while? I have something I need to do," he asked, desperate and not wanting to think too much about what he was going to do.

"Sure thing. I got the moves that will keep her plenty busy," Puck said cheerfully and began dancing his way to Miranda.

Help me tear down my reason, help me its' your sex I can smell

Help me you make me perfect, help me become somebody else

I want to fuck you like an animal

Kurt was doing body rolls when Blaine walked up to him. Blaine tapped his shoulder, not wanting any more contact than that. He was afraid of what he'd do if he did more than a tap.

"Hey Kurt, can you come with me for a minute?"

Kurt turned, startled. "Um, sure."

Blaine turned without another word and headed toward the back of the house. He knew where a bedroom was, he'd seen it when he'd gone to the bathroom earlier. As they walked, the lyrics of the song flowed through his overheated body.

I want to feel you from the inside

I want to fuck you like an animal

My whole existence is flawed

You get me closer to god

Walking into the room, he stepped aside to let Kurt in before shutting the door.

"Blaine, what's going," Kurt began, but never got to finish.

Blaine grabbed him roughly by the shoulders and pushed him against the wall. He slammed his mouth against Kurt's and moaned loudly at the contact with those soft full lips. Kurt gasped in shock, but quickly melted under his hands. Blaine shoved his tongue in Kurt's mouth and explored the delicious corners until Kurt's tongue began to stroke his own. They lapped at each other for several minutes before Blaine broke the contact. Kurt huffed then sighed as Blaine began nibbling along Kurt's beautiful jaw line then down his long neck and onto his collar bone. Blaine sucked on the soft skin there, leaving a mark before soothing it with his lips. He tried to keep his mind empty, tried not to think about what he was actually doing.

Kurt was in a state of aroused shock. He'd seen Blaine watching them dance and was guilty of doing a bit more dirty dancing than he normally did. There was no way he thought it would do anything for Blaine, yet here he was, sucking hickey's into Kurt's collar bone, his hands roaming down his hips to reach around and grab his ass. Shoving Kurt's hips against his own, he could feel Blaine's blatant arousal. His cock was hard as a rock and Kurt knew his was too. He had no idea what had brought this on, but he was not going to fight it. This was something he'd wanted for way too long.

Blaine grabbed the bottom of Kurt's shirt and yanked it over his head before stripping his own off. As their bare chests met, they both moaned loudly. Kurt couldn't believe how much he'd missed the contact from Blaine's body. Blaine couldn't believe how extraordinarily beautiful and soft Kurt was. Yet under the softness was lean muscle that made him lithe and sexy. They kissed heatedly for several minutes, hands exploring each other. Their hips kept making contact, each time making them gasp as their erections bumped and grinded into each other. Blaine turned their bodies toward the bed and let go of Kurt.

"Strip," he said, his golden eyes blown with lust in the dim light from the lamp. He began taking off his shoes, pants and boxer briefs.

Kurt obeyed, desperate to be taken by this man. It was so strange, Blaine was everything familiar and yet a stranger at the same time. But he was still all that Kurt wanted and would ever want. If he had this chance to be with him, there was no way he was going to turn him down.

When he was naked, he stood there, staring at the body he'd missed so desperately. Blaine's cock jutted out from his body, already glistening with need.

Blaine was also staring. He'd had no idea how beautiful Kurt truly was. He loved the smooth line of muscle between his belly and hip, the V shape that led down to his cock which was hard and moving with Kurt's heavy breathing. Swallowing his fear, he walked to Kurt and wrapped his arms around him, just enjoying the sensation of their naked bodies touching. He heard Kurt sigh and knew he was feeling the same thing. After a moment, he pushed gently until Kurt sat down on the bed and just looked up at him. Kurt was waiting for him to give directions, not assuming anything. Blaine was grateful for that, his mind was hazy, but he knew that if he wanted to stop then Kurt would simply stop with no questions.

"Lay down on the bed," Blaine told him and watched as he obeyed, crab-walking backward on the bed until he was laying there, his legs parted. The sight of his balls and hard cock made Blaine growl with need. He crawled up Kurt's body, touching ankles, knees, thighs and finally his throbbing cock. Kurt tilted his hips up, crying out with the sensation of Blaine's hand wrapped around him.

"I'm going to fuck you," Blaine stated, giving him a chance to back out.

Kurt looked at him, eyes wide and dilated with desire. "Yes."

Blaine had no idea what he was doing, he'd never fucked a guy before. But he shoved two of his fingers into Kurt's mouth and enjoyed the feeling of Kurt sucking and tonguing his fingers. When they were wet, he pulled them out and slowly pushed one into Kurt's tight hole. Kurt grunted and thrashed his head around.

"More," Kurt said quietly.

Blaine inserted a second finger and began moving them in and out, gently scissoring Kurt to open him up. He could not believe how hot this was, just watching his fingers moving in and out of Kurt's ass.

"Now you," Kurt said and when Blaine took his fingers out, Kurt sat up and quickly took Blaine's cock in his mouth. Blaine cried out and bucked against him, grabbing his hair. Kurt took all of Blaine's length into him, opening his throat so Blaine could fuck his mouth. Blaine began pumping his hips, feeling like he might die if Kurt kept up whatever he was doing with that magical tongue of his.

"I'm ready," Kurt whispered, removing his mouth from Blaine's wet cock.

Blaine couldn't resist kissing that swollen, shiny, wet mouth, tasting a bit of himself on Kurt's tongue. Pushing Kurt back down on the bed, he lined himself up and slowly eased into Kurt's tightness. They were both moaning and panting until Blaine was completely sheathed in Kurt's heat. He rested there a moment, adjusting to the grip of Kurt around his cock. When Kurt rolled his hips, Blaine moved with him, keeping his pace slow. Kurt began mewling, trying to push harder against him. Blaine understood. Pulling almost all the way out, he slammed back into Kurt, shouting with the pleasure of it.

Kurt was panting and moaning, "Yes, yes, please yes."

Blaine took that as a cue that he was okay and kept pumping into him, fucking him with all the pent up desire and lust he'd been building up. This was the most erotic thing he'd ever experienced and it scared the shit out of him.

The electric pulses coiled in his stomach and he knew he was going to come soon. Reaching down from instinct, he grabbed Kurt's cock and began pumping in time with his own thrusts. Kurt was thrashing his head from side to side, looking ready to come as well. Just as he thought that, Kurt exploded in his hand, white jets of fluid flying out between them, coloring Kurt's chest and stomach. The sight made Blaine growl and grunt as he came, the orgasm seeming to rip up from his toes through his back and stomach and out his cock. It seemed to go on forever, the pulsing and throbbing of the orgasm. He had no idea how long he stayed there, frozen as his cock continued to pulsate. When it was finally over, he pulled out of Kurt slowly and dropped onto the bed beside him.

They lay there, breathing heavily for several minutes. Blaine lay with his arm over his face. Kurt was silent beside him. Not knowing how to act, Kurt spied a box of tissues on the side table and grabbed some to clean himself up. He needed a shower, especially because Blaine hadn't used a condom, but this was better than nothing. Handing a handful of tissues to Blaine, he silently began getting dressed. Blaine followed suit, still not saying anything, still not sure what the hell had come over him. All he knew was that was the best damn orgasm he'd ever had - at least he thought it was, he couldn't remember anything other than that night with Renee - and he had no idea where to go from here.

Kurt finished getting dressed and when Blaine was done, he walked to him. He knew he shouldn't do it, but that had been such a wonderful experience, he had to.

"Blaine, that was amazing," he said quietly, keeping his eyes down.

"Yeah," was all Blaine could mutter.

"I still love you. I want you to know that," Kurt said, finally peeking at Blaine. "If you want to be with me, I am here."

"Be with you? Why would I want to do that?" Blaine snapped, thrown off by Kurt's words. He'd just wanted to fuck, to get the dreams to stop. There was no desire for a relationship. Kurt shouldn't still love him, he should've been over it by now. "I'm not gay, Kurt. I'm fucking drunk and you look so girly, I had to see what the big deal was." He knew he was being an asshole. The devastation on Kurt's face ripped at his heart. But he couldn't be gay. He couldn't. It was wrong, unnatural, against the natural order of things. He'd liked the sex simply because of the damn dreams. He turned and walked to the door.

Kurt caught up and grabbed his arm, turning him around roughly. "You can't just use me like a whore Blaine, so if that's all this was to you, you can be sure it will not happen again."

"Hell no it won't happen again. And you'd better keep your mouth shut about this. I don't need people saying I'm a gay boy," he said, glaring at Kurt.

"I'll tell anyone I want," Kurt said, his chin in the air. "You can't do this with me and then treat me like shit. So either straighten up or get the hell away from me. And by the way, Blaine, the sex we just had was gay sex. There is no other way to see it. You can't," he continued.

At that moment, Blaine's fear and confusion peaked. He couldn't seem to control his arm as it swung around and his fist connected with Kurt's cheek. Kurt cried out, stumbled backward and fell on the floor. Immediately Blaine knew he'd hit him too hard. Years of boxing practice had strengthened his punch and he'd used too much force.

"Oh god, Kurt, I'm sorry," he said, reaching down to him.

"Get the hell away from me!" Kurt screamed, holding a hand to his face. Blaine put his hand out and Kurt screeched at him. "Go! Get away from me, you asshole!"

Blaine turned and ran for the door, throwing it open with such force it hit the wall with a bang. He ran down the hall and through the remains of the party and out the door. Wes had driven them so he just kept running. He didn't stop until he got to the apartment. It took him several tries to get the key to unlock the door. Finally it opened and he got to the bathroom just in time to vomit. It wasn't until he collapsed on his bed, completely miserable, that he realized he'd deserted his date at the party. He shrugged to himself and passed out.

. . .

Kurt was still sitting on the floor, holding his cheek and sobbing when Lauren happened by.

"Kurt, oh my god, what happened?" she said kneeling down next to him. "You're face is swollen. Who the hell did this to you?"

He looked at her miserably. "Blaine," he mumbled. It hurt to talk. The whole left side of his face throbbed like crazy.

"Oh shit," she said, her eyes sympathetic and worried. "Come on, let's clean you up."

Kurt stood and immediately winced. It'd been so long since he'd had sex and Blaine hadn't exactly been gentle. That had been fine with Kurt in the moment, but now he was paying the price. Limping along, Lauren holding his arm, they went to the bathroom. She wetted a towel with cold water and helped clean his face.

"Kurt, you're limping pretty bad. I have to ask. Did he rape you?" Lauren asked gently, her kind face hesitant.

"No. Just rough. Consensual," Kurt muttered.

Just then Mercedes and Santana came to the bathroom and knocked. Lauren checked to see who it was and let them in. Both of them gasped at the sight of Kurt's already swollen, discolored cheek.

"What the fuck?" Santana exclaimed.

"Kurt, what the hell happened?" Mercedes demanded.

Lauren looked at Kurt who nodded. "Blaine hit him," she said, not mentioning the part about the sex, which made Kurt love her even more.

"Oh that's it, I'm gonna show that hobbit what Lima Heights is all about! Cosas malas!" Santana yelled, hurting everyone's ears.

"No. Please. Just home," Kurt said, his jaw aching something fierce. He just wanted to lay down and sleep.

Santana stared at him for a long moment, considering. "Fine, but if we see that hobbit, I'm gonna take the razor blades outta my hair. Cuz they're all up in there," she said, swirling her hand around her head.

"Aw, hell no, Kurt. You need to press charges, baby. This is straight up assault! The whole left side of your face is swollen," Mercedes insisted.

"Love him. Please, home," Kurt whispered, pain shining in his blue eyes.

"Alright, let's go then," Mercedes said. She and Lauren took his arms and Santana blocked for them in front. They were able to get out of the building without any questions, which Kurt was grateful for.

When they got to his apartment, Santana opened the door. They helped him into his pajamas; for once, Kurt wasn't shy about changing in front of others because he knew they didn't see him that way. Tucking him in, all three kissed him on the forehead, telling him to call or text if he needed them. He muttered a thank you and they left. As soon as he heard the door close, the tears started. Soon his entire body was shuddering with sobs. He was done. He had to be. He couldn't keep getting his heart ripped out. His Blaine was gone, dead in a way. It was time to let go.

 

End Notes: "Cough Syrup" Young the Giant. The info I used for Blaine to explain the meaning of the song is the real reason the band gave for writing the song. I found the info on Wikipedia (which I do not own), if you're interested."Closer" Nine Inch Nails. I've always loved this song, the beat is hypnotic! Could you imagine dancing with Blaine during this song? Oy!

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