Everything You Gave Me
xcaellachx
Chapter 10 Previous Chapter Next Chapter Story
Give Kudos Track Story Bookmark Comment
Report

Everything You Gave Me: Chapter 10


E - Words: 2,373 - Last Updated: May 07, 2012
Story: Complete - Chapters: 13/13 - Created: May 07, 2012 - Updated: May 07, 2012
646 0 1 0 0


Blaine sat there, his phone laying on his bed. He'd told Ryan he had to go to class. It had been rude to hang up so quickly, but he couldn't pretend he was okay. Far from it. The shock was deep and intense and he honestly felt like he was going to be sick. Thoughts were going through his mind so fast, he didn't know where or how to process them. Kurt had Charlie's heart. Kurt had Charlie's heart. Over and over again he said that to himself. He had to, otherwise it all felt surreal, like a bad dream. Walking to his dresser, he took a picture out of his drawer. He'd put the picture away when he'd felt he was starting to move on, as looking at it just made him sad again. Charlie had been such a huge part of his life, a huge part of his heart. They'd discussed getting married and where they would live after college. One day, one drunk driver had taken all of that away. All of the dreams of the future, all of the things that had made life wonderful. His sense of normality was gone. He had to find a new normal, a new way of living, breathing, and loving. It had taken months for Blaine to feel like he could enjoy life again. First, through the Warbler's as he started singing solos again. Then through his friends in the group and outside the group. They'd all pulled together to help Blaine heal and move forward. About 8 months after Charlie's death, he'd been in a great mood, able to think about Charlie with a smile. But when he'd spied the picture, he'd felt guilty and sad about how he was moving on and maybe not thinking of Charlie every day. He had put the picture in his dresser and been able to continue to get better. When he'd met Kurt, he'd had tons of feelings of guilt, though Jake had told him he was being an idiot. Jake had also known Charlie and told Blaine he knew he'd have wanted Blaine to move on and be happy with someone.

"Do you honestly think he'd want to see you sit around, moping, instead of pursuing a cute guy?" Jake had asked.

"I guess not," Blaine had mumbled.

Jake had socked him in the shoulder. "Then knock this shit off!"

Blaine had smiled and agreed to do his best. And it had gotten easier. Kurt was such an extreme opposite of Charlie, it wasn't hard to fall for him without any further guilt.

Now, everything had changed. Kurt had Charlie's heart. Charlie's heart. The organ that had pumped through Charlie's chest. The heart that had produced warm, comforting beats that Blaine had loved to listen to when they cuddled. Was that why Charlie had come to mind that first time Blaine and Kurt had snuggled? Wasn't that wrong? Wasn't that betraying Charlie in some way? Wasn't this whole thing wrong? It was like he'd replaced Charlie with his own substitute, with the person who was carrying the most important organ of his around in his chest. Had his subconscious known Kurt had Charlie's heart? Is that why he'd fallen for him so quickly? He didn't know what to do, all he knew was that he felt sick when he thought about Kurt. About what Kurt carried in his chest.

He snorted grimly. Hadn't he told Kurt that there was no way the donor family would hate him or be upset with him because he was alive and their son wasn't. What was he doing right now? He was feeling resentment that the man he had wanted to spend the rest of his life with was gone. In his place was a young, beautiful, vibrant man whom he definitely cared about. But he wasn't Charlie.

His phone buzzed and he picked it up and saw he had a text from Kurt.

Blaine, it went wonderful! But we need to talk, there is something I have to tell you. Meet me at my room at 3? See you then!

Blaine stared at the text for a long time, his finger moving towards the 'reply' button and moving away. Finally he tossed the phone down, choosing to not reply. He curled up on his bed in misery and began to cry.

"Blaine, it's Kurt again. Are you okay? I've been texting and calling. Obviously. I hope you are okay. Um, I have a feeling I know why you are avoiding me. Please, can we talk about this? I had no idea who the donor was, honestly, I didn't. Please call me," Kurt finished and hung up. It was his sixth voice mail on top of the ten or so texts he'd sent. Kurt was so worried he had a knot in his stomach. Something told him the Wilson's had contacted Blaine after they'd left. Why wouldn't they? Finding out their son's former boyfriend was friends with the donor. Kurt hadn't been able to tell them they were a couple now; it had seemed like it would be tactless. He'd been silent the entire trip home. After the first couple times of trying to get Kurt to talk, Burt had gone quiet and concentrated on driving. Kurt had already texted Blaine several times by the time his dad dropped him off, both of them having decided lunch was out of the question.

He was debating sending another text when he heard a knock at the door. He jumped up and was across the room in a flash, opening the door with a smile.

"I didn't know you'd be so happy to see me," Rachel said with a bright smile.

Kurt's smile died abruptly. "Oh. Hi Rachel."

"Geez, that was an about-face of emotions. What's up?" She said, coming in and closing the door.

They perched on the bed and Kurt told her about the visit to the Wilson's house.

"That is so wonderful that they were so welcoming," Rachel gushed.

"Well at the end, Elyse, the wife, showed me a picture of Charlie and his boyfriend, who she said went to this school," Kurt started.

"Oh my god! Kurt, do we know him?" Rachel said, leaning close, her brown eyes lit up like Christmas morning.

"It's Blaine, Rachel. Blaine is Charlie's former love, the man Charlie wanted to eventually marry," Kurt said, dazed.

Rachel seemed to freeze, her hand on her chest, shock on her face. "Oh, god, Kurt. Are you okay? Hold that thought. We need our other diva for this conversation." In a moment, Rachel had dialed a number and put it on speaker.

"Hello?"

"Hey Mercedes, it's Rachel and Kurt."

"Hey girl, hey Kurt! What's the occasion?" Mercedes said.

Rachel filled her in quickly and then all three of them were silent.

"Kurt, honey, are you okay?" Mercedes asked, her voice serious.

"I don't know. I guess. No, I'm not. I don't know," he stuttered out. "I mean in one hand, it's amazing to know that Blaine knows my heart, literally. But on the other hand, why won't Blaine talk to me? I'm sure the Wilson's told him by now. They thought it was 'neat' that I know Blaine. I didn't have the guts to tell them we are together. I've texted and called Blaine a ton of times since I left the Wilson's and he hasn't responded. We were supposed to get together when I got back," he said miserably.

"Kurt, maybe he just needs time. If they did tell him, he must be in shock. He probably just needs a little bit of time to adjust to the idea. He really cares about you, Kurt. Finn and I have talked about it, well, I talked and Finn nodded and agreed. We love you two together. You are good for each other," Rachel said, nodding sagely.

"I agree, Kurt, you need to give that boy time to come to terms with this. He's dealing with something much more emotional than you are," Mercedes pointed out.

"Wouldn't he tell me that? Should I go over there? See if he'll talk to me? Maybe something else is wrong," Kurt said.

"Maybe," Rachel said, doubt in her tone. "You may just want to wait until he contacts you. If he doesn't call you by tomorrow, then maybe you can go over there. Besides you two have a class together. You'll see him there," she pointed out.

"I agree. Now I gotta go, you two. I have a study group in five minutes and I literally have to run. Love you two!" Mercedes said and disconnected.

"So, tomorrow then?" Rachel said, looking at Kurt, worried over his pale cheeks.

Kurt nodded. "You're right. Okay, I'll give him tonight and talk to him tomorrow. Thanks Rach," he said, leaning forward and hugging her.

Rachel left soon after with the promise to call the next day. Kurt wandered around his room and tried working on his various homework assignments. Mostly, he just thought about Blaine. He felt miserable without him. He'd been seeing him every single day for almost two weeks, it was hard knowing he was going to go to bed without seeing him. Kurt was not a religious person by any stretch of the imagination, but he found himself muttering 'please let everything be okay between us' many times before he finally fell into a fitful sleep.

The next day, Kurt got through his classes in a daze. He'd had no morning text from Blaine and no answer to the one he sent as he walked to his first class. The afternoon came around and Kurt's stomach knotted up again at the thought of seeing Blaine in class. He arrived early and sat at their table and spent too much time setting up his computer. The students slowly filed in and took their seats. Kurt watched the clock tick closer and closer to the time when class would start. Next thing he knew, the door was closed and the teacher was beginning the days lecture.

Blaine never showed and Kurt was truly concerned. Was he sick? That thought gave Kurt pause. If Blaine was sick, he'd probably better stay away from him. While he could probably handle a cold just fine, it was better if he didn't expose himself.

When the class let out, Kurt stiffened up and headed toward Blaine's dorm. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door and childishly crossed his fingers that Blaine would be home.

The door opened and Jake smiled at Kurt. "Hey Kurt, come on in," he said warmly.

Kurt walked in and quickly noticed Blaine wasn't there. Jake's warm gray eyes looked sympathetic. Jake was very tall, close to 6'4". He and Blaine were teased a lot because of their size difference. Even Kurt felt small next to him.

Jake sat on his bed and waved Kurt to Blaine's bed.

"How is he?" Kurt asked, his eyes big with worry as he sat.

Jake held up a hand. "He is okay, Kurt, really. He's just... He's a bit messed up over this whole thing. It is a lot for him to take in."

"Why won't he take my calls or answer my texts?" Kurt asked. He could understand Blaine being confused and freaked out, but wouldn't it be better if they talked about it?

"Blaine said he needs time to sort his thoughts. He talked to the professor of the class you two share and got a week's worth of homework. That shouldn't be possible in college, but Blainers can talk anyone into anything," Jake said, smiling wryly.

"A week?" Kurt asked quietly.

"Yeah. I'm sorry Kurt and I hate that I have to be the messenger, so please don't hate me. Blaine knew you would be coming over at some point and he asked me to ask you to please give him a week. He just needs time to think and clear his noggin. Oh, Kurt, come on," Jake said, coming and sitting down.

Kurt couldn't help the tears that were streaming down his face. A week without Blaine. Though this was still the beginning of their relationship, Kurt had come to depend on him and enjoy every minute of their time together.

"Jake, is he breaking up with me? Please tell me if you know," Kurt said with a small whimper.

"No, Kurt, I know that for sure. He does care about you, he told me that much. He just needs time. Can you do that for him?" Jake asked, rubbing Kurt's shoulder.

"Of course. I would do anything for him. Please tell him I didn't know who the donor was and I didn't know that Blaine knew the donor. Can you tell him that?" Kurt asked, his blue eyes swimming with tears.

"Yeah, I'll tell him. I don't know if he'll listen, but I'll try," Jake said.

"Thanks, Jake," Kurt said, leaning over and giving Jake a half hug.

"No problem, Kurt," Jake said, returning the squeeze.

That evening at Warbler practice, Kurt showed up early again. And again, as people poured into the room, Blaine was not among them. They practiced their numbers for the show the coming weekend. Kurt ran through his part of the duet, unsure if they were even singing it anymore. As he read through the sheet music, he heard his name. His heart leapt, but saw it was Wes coming toward him.

"Hey Kurt, how's it going?" Wes said, his face guarded.

"What's going on, Wes? Is this about Blaine?" he asked abruptly, not caring if he sounded rude.

"Uh, well, yeah. Kurt, he pulled out of the duet. He won't be going to the show at the mall Saturday. I'm sorry. You can try to find someone else to sing with you, or you can sing it on your own. We know you can handle a solo. So, think about it and let me know," he said, his voice warm and concerned.

Kurt sighed and bit his cheek so he wouldn't start sobbing. "Okay. Thank you for letting me know, Wes."

Wes patted his shoulder and walked away.

What was he going to do? Blaine had come into his heart and life so quickly and now he had to go on alone. It hurt, like a knife twisting in his stomach. But he knew Blaine was an honest, forthright person and if he needed time to think, Kurt would respect that and stay out of the way.

He just wished it didn't feel like he was going to die.

 


Comments

You must be logged in to add a comment. Log in here.

Breaking my heart bb. Better do something to remedy that!