Jason woke in the dark, hearing a strange sound. For a moment he wondered where he was. The bed under him was bare, no sheets, and the only thing covering him was a throw blanket. It came back to him quickly. Colton had gotten drunk and when Jason had walked him home, he'd gotten sick so Jason had stuck around to help him. Colton had no roommate, so he crashed on the extra bed instead of going back to his room. He had never trusted Blaine, but the look in the other man's eyes when he'd been looking for Kurt told him there was another side to him. Jason trusted him to care for his roommate until he could get back to him in the morning. Hearing the noise again, Jason realized it was coming from Colton. He was whimpering in his sleep, thrashing around, obviously in the throes of a nightmare. Something in the shorter man brought out all of his protective instincts and he couldn't help going over and sitting on the edge of his bed. Sweeping his red hair out of his face, he murmured comforting words, telling Colton he would be okay. Colton sighed in his sleep and grabbed hold of Jason's hand. Turning over, Jason was forced to lean over the other man, just to keep his arm in his socket. Being put in an odd position, he shrugged to himself. Slipping under the covers, he stretched his long body out next to him, letting Colton keep his arm tucked around his chest, his hand resting over the younger man's heart. Jason slid his other arm under Colton's pillow and settled in. Colton gave a contented murmur and snuggled his body backward into Jason's warmth. Jason realized he was spooning another man. While he had no problem with who people loved, he himself had never felt any stirring toward other guys. Women were his thing, blondes and redheads preferably. Since he'd met Colton, they'd been hanging out so much Jason hadn't had as much time to date, not that he minded. Colton was sweet, funny, and loved model cars as much as he did. They spent hours putting together the plastic cars. Jason loved to watch him paint the tiniest parts of the engines, his small hands sure and steady. He was amazingly talented. Whenever they had coffee or went out for lunch, their size difference became laughably noticeable, causing comments and chuckles from people around them. Colton was almost an entire foot shorter than he was. It was very obvious now as Colton continued to try and cuddle closer to him. His head was now resting on Jason's bicep, and his ass was tucked against his stomach. It would make an interesting problem if they ever had sex. Jason froze as he realized what he just thought. Had he seriously just thought about having sex with Colton? He wasn't gay. But yes, his body was now responding to the idea, the thought of being with the small man tucked in his arms. He had to remind himself that it didn't matter about gender, it mattered who you cared about. He knew he cared about Colton and he knew that Colton cared for him. And apparently he was attracted to Colton as well. Snuggled up like this felt strange and different, but somehow right. Shaking his head, he decided the middle of the night wasn't the time to figure out what was going on in his head. Leaning over, he rested his head against the back of Colton's head, enjoying the scent of his shampoo. He allowed his body to sink into Colton's until it seemed they were one. Strangely comfortable, he quickly fell asleep, not seeing the sleepy sweet smile on Colton's face.

. . . . .

The sun was just coming up when Blaine awoke, Kurt still wrapped around his body. One of his thighs was resting across Blaine's crotch. Being morning meant some interesting sensations were going on. He was hard as a rock due to morning and the man he was snuggled up to. Kurt was so warm, soft, and he smelled amazing. When the full memories of the night before came back to him, he wanted to slap himself. He couldn't be horny after watching this boy slice himself up, partly because of him! Sick bastard, he told himself. He took a few minutes to control his body until it was calm and behaving again. Gazing into Kurt's face, he wondered when he'd stopped hating Kurt. Things had seemed to change so quickly. He'd been insulting him regularly and then he was thinking about him all the time. He knew he'd hurt Kurt after the kiss and made his singing team change songs just so he could apologize to him. That must have been when his feelings changed from irritation to caring. And last night, before the attack. That dance. The moments in that room. Kurt had given so freely of himself, undemanding, pure in his feelings. The way he'd shared himself with Blaine had been amazing. Blaine couldn't even imagine how mind blowing it might be if they made love. As much as his cynical side hated it, yes, it would be making love, not having sex. This boy deserved the best of everything Blaine could offer. And if they ever had the chance to be intimate, he deserved to be cherished, adored, and worshiped. He gently brushed his lips over Kurt's forehead, enjoying the tiny smile that lifted his full lips in sleep.

Now, he had to talk with Kurt about what happened. He knew it was early and Kurt needed to sleep, but he had a feeling he wouldn't talk as freely if Jason was here. They would need to have this conversation soon and he had no idea how it would end up. He could only hope Kurt would open up to him and let him help. Blaine was used to knowing what to do in any situation. Add a touch of cynicism to anything and it usually worked out. But this time, he was at a loss. For a moment he wished he was closer to his mother, a psychologist. She would probably know exactly what to do. But she wanted to deal with Blaine about as much as he wanted to deal with her.

Laying there, he let Kurt sleep another hour, watching his shallow breathing, enjoying the small noises he made and how he constantly tried to cuddle closer to Blaine. He would never get tired of his scent, the feel of his body next to his. Blaine was falling in love, no matter how much he might have mocked himself even a week ago. Everything changed, he changed. His life was not just about him anymore, it was about Kurt and him. Kurt's needs mattered to him and he would do whatever it took to make him happy.

When he knew the time was coming when Jason might come home, he began lightly kissing Kurt's forehead and cheeks.

"Kurt," he said gently. "Time to wake up, baby," he continued. Since when did he call Kurt baby? And why did it feel totally natural to him? Man, if he knew what he'd be saying a week ago, he would have kicked his own ass for sure.

"Mmm," Kurt moaned. "Not yet. Comfy." He burrowed his head into Blaine's chest, breathing deeply.

"Come on, Kurt. Time to wake up. Open those peepers," Blaine smiled at him. He was too adorable for words in the morning. A slight flush on his pale cheeks, his eyes blinking drowsily at him, his hair for once a tangled mess, standing up in places. Blaine wanted to run his fingers through his hair and kiss him. "We need to talk, Kurt."

Kurt woke up fully at those words, not wanting to confront the emotions and actions of the previous night. "I don't want to talk about it, Blaine."

"I know. I, I just need to know. How long has this been going on?" Blaine asked, hoping the questions wouldn't push him away.

"About a year," he whispered, keeping his head tucked into Blaine's chest.

"How did it start," Blaine whispered back.

"A guy at my high school, Karofsky, started bullying me. Shoving me, name calling, the normal stuff I was pretty used to. I confronted him one time and he kissed me. I fought him off and after that the bullying got worse," Kurt said all of this in quiet tones. Blaine's blood was on fire and it took everything in him to not leap up and find the asshole and rip him limb from limb. He didn't say anything though, Kurt was opening up and this was what needed to happen. "One day, him and Azimio, both of them were on the football team, they cornered me after school. Azimio took my pants. I was crying and saying no, but they didn't listen. Azimio held me down, Karofsky tried to, tried to. He almost got it in, but then someone came along. He told me I'd asked for it. I didn't though. I never wanted anything to do with those guys. I never told that Karofsky kissed me. I figured he was in the closet and just confused. But then after what they tried to do... I felt so disgusting, so dirty. Karofsky's voice kept going through my mind, telling me I'd asked for it. I was in the shower and saw my uncle's razor. I just did it. One little slice. It felt so good. Cleansing in a way. The pain of it took away from the pain of, of what happened. I didn't intend to keep doing it, but every time I would think of it or when Karofsky would bully me again, I just did it. He threatened to kill me if I told and I did then, too. It was my way of coping and it has been ever since."

He stopped talking and just lay there breathing against Blaine. He'd never told anyone this. It felt nice to get it all out in the open. He was just afraid that now Blaine would jump out of the bed and run. Kurt couldn't blame him.

"Kurt, I'm so sorry this all happened to you. You know that none of that was your fault, right? It was those guys who did wrong, me who did wrong, Sebastian who did wrong. We were the perpetrators. You were the victim," Blaine said forcefully, taking Kurt's chin and forcing their eyes to meet. He despised the fact that his name had to be added in, but it was true. It would never be true again, but it didn't make up for what had already happened.

"Do you still like me?" Kurt asked hesitantly, his eyes full of fear and doubt.

Blaine's heart broke. "Of course I still do. I like you even more for being honest and sharing with me. I admire you so much, Kurt. You've been through so much. You're so much stronger than anyone I know," Blaine said. It was the truth.

"Kiss me," Kurt whispered.

"You sure?" Blaine wanted nothing more, but needed to know he gave his full consent.

"Yes. Kiss me, please, Blaine," Kurt said, lifting his chin toward Blaine.

Blaine stared at his full lips for a moment, soft, slightly open. He could deny him nothing and he leaned down and gently kissed him, a soft brushing of lips, before sitting back.

Kurt took his arm and tugged. "More kisses," he said, a smile on his lips.

Blaine groaned. He took Kurt's mouth with a bit more force, but still tried to keep it light. The man had just been forced the night before and Blaine didn't want to trigger any thoughts of it. But there was no way he could resist tasting his lips.

Kurt lightly brushed his tongue along the seam of Blaine's lips, moaning softly. Blaine gave in and opened his mouth, allowing Kurt to take it where he wanted. Sighing heavily, Kurt slipped his hot tongue in Blaine's mouth and immediately began massaging their tongues together. Before he realized what happened, Blaine found Kurt laying out on top of him, Kurt's hands holding the sides of his head. Blaine's hands had wandered down and rested gently on the small of Kurt's back. They continued kissing, Kurt dipping, thrusting, and exploring Blaine's mouth. A groan escaped one of them and Blaine had no idea who. All he knew was this soft, beautiful boy on top of him was driving him crazy.

"Blaine," Kurt muttered roughly. He spread his legs over Blaine's waist and suddenly he was rotating his hips, undulating against Blaine's now hard cock. He could feel Kurt's hard on and he groaned at the sensation. "Let me make you happy," Kurt said.

Blaine tried to think clearly. Would it harm Kurt to do something sexual after being attacked? What about his cuts? Would Blaine hurt him?

"No thinking," Kurt whispered against his ear with a thrust of his hips. "Just feeling. No sex. Let me make you happy."

"Yes," Blaine said, hoping it was the right decision and wondered at them repeating each other's lines. He refused to admit it was cute.

Kurt grinned down at him, triumphant. He reached for the buttons on Blaine's jeans, quickly undoing them. Rising up on his knees, he and Blaine slid his pants down to his knees, kicking them off onto the floor before sliding his shirt over his head. With some creative maneuvering, Kurt managed to get his shirt and pants off without leaving the warmth of Blaine's body. At the same time, they seemed to realize they'd never seen each other naked. They took a moment, just staring at each other.

Kurt took a gasping breath, his gaze taking in the deep olive toned skin stretched over taut muscles. His abs were clearly defined as was the V between his hip bones. He traced that line and was pleased when Blaine cried out.

Blaine couldn't believe the utter beauty of the man above him. He was perfection. Pale skin, flat, but nicely defined stomach. He tried to look past the bandages and scars and took in his long, pink cock, resting against Blaine's thigh. It had a dew drop of liquid at its tip and Blaine wanted nothing more than to lap it up. He settled for reaching down and swiping his fingers over Kurt's cock and quickly putting his fingers in his mouth. The salty taste was heavenly and totally Kurt. Kurt had gasped and moaned deep in his throat when Blaine had tasted him.

Kurt watched Blaine sucking his fingers dry of Kurt's taste and was astounded by the lust that seemed to burn through his veins. He wanted to taste Blaine as well, so without asking, he slid down and took Blaine's long, thick length into his mouth. Never having done it before, he worked on pure instinct, swirling his tongue around the head of his cock.

"Kurt, my god!" Blaine grunted. "You don't have to do that, baby, come here," he said, pulling Kurt away from his cock, so freaking close to coming it was ridiculous.

"I wanted to taste you too. I like your taste," Kurt said, his eyes glazed with passion.

Blaine moaned at his honesty and brought their mouths together. They lapped at each other, tasting themselves on their tongues. Kurt had left enough moisture on Blaine's cock so when their cocks rubbed together, they slid against each other effortlessly. Their mouths broke apart as they both moaned. Kurt rose up a little and began undulating his hips against Blaine's, their eyes never leaving each other. More moisture came from their cocks creating enough lubrication to make it pleasurable. Kurt's hips were magic, the way he could rotate and swivel on Blaine's body. The erotic vision of their cocks sliding together and Kurt moaning above him proved too much. He cried out Kurt's name and came between them, spraying them both. Kurt watched him come, fascinated. He leaned down and licked through one of the white streaks on Blaine's chest. When he sat back up, he stared into Blaine's eyes, licked his lips and came hard, crying out as his come mingled with Blaine's. Uncaring about the mess, Kurt collapsed on Blaine's chest, breathing hard.

"You are amazing," Blaine muttered.

"Right back at you," Kurt said, moving his head to nibble at Blaine's neck.

"We need a shower," Blaine said and Kurt whined at the thought of moving.

Blaine hesitated, knowing the bathroom might make Kurt remember too much of last night. Maybe they could create a new memory. He eased Kurt to the side and stood before sweeping Kurt into his arms, reminding them both of the night before.

He ran them a shower and they took turns washing each other. Kurt even let him wash over his cuts, trying to be gentle. Kurt didn't even blink at the sting he must have been feeling. It told Blaine how used to the pain he was and he felt sick. Nobody should have to torture themselves just to deal with how other people treat them.

Kurt couldn't believe how gentle and caring Blaine was being. He'd always been terrified of the thought of being naked in front of someone else. But the way Blaine seemed to accept him and support what he'd been through had pushed him to do what he'd really wanted to do. And it had been beautiful. Blaine was beautiful. Strong, protective, sweet, all of the things Kurt wanted in life. He didn't know what this made them. Boyfriends? Friends with benefits? He didn't know, but as long as Blaine played some part in his life, he'd be happy. He left Blaine in the shower to rinse off and stepped out of the shower. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he went to the sink and wiped the steam off of it. Reaching into the cupboard underneath for his moisturizer, he saw that something was missing. It took him a moment before he realized that the black box was gone. His stomach seemed to drop out of his body.

"Blaine," he said evenly.

Blaine had just shut the shower off and was stepping out to grab a towel. "Yeah?" he said with a soft smile at Kurt, which he didn't return.

"Where is it?" Kurt demanded.

"Where is what?" Blaine asked, his head tilting.

"You know damn well what, Blaine. The box. Where is the box?" Kurt said loudly, just short of a full yell.

Blaine sighed. "I threw it away. I thought it would help you stop if they weren't so readily available."

"Who said I needed to stop? And who the hell asked you to butt into my business and decide what was best for me?" Kurt was yelling now.

"Kurt, listen to me," Blaine said, coming over, wrapping a towel around his hips. Kurt refused to let his attention wander to the streams of water still dripping down his muscular chest. "Kurt the cutting isn't good for you. Let me help you find other ways to deal with your feelings. I want to help you."

"I didn't ask for your help! How dare you! I trusted you, Blaine. I thought you cared about me, even just a little," Kurt said, tears forming in his eyes.

"Kurt, please. I do care about you. More than a little. Don't do this. We'll find another way, you don't have to do this to yourself," Blaine pleaded helplessly.

"If you cared, you wouldn't have thrown that box away. Damn you! Get out of my room," he yelled pointing toward the door.

"Kurt, please," Blaine said, coming toward him.

Kurt shook his head and backed away. "Get out. I mean it, Blaine."

Blaine knew that Kurt needed to see that his wishes would be respected so he nodded and went to the bedroom to pull on his dirty clothes. He shoved his boxers in his pocket and left the room. He closed the door and promptly took a seat on the floor next to the door. He still intended to talk to Jason and wouldn't miss his chance to do so. Hearing Kurt's stereo come on, he listened to the song he picked. Kurt didn't seem to be the rock type, but the Evanescence song was a good one. As he truly listened to the lyrics, though, his blood ran cold.

I tried to kill my pain

But only brought more

So much more

I lay dying

And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal

I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming

Am I too lost to be saved?

Am I too lost?

My God my tourniquet

Return to me salvation

My God my tourniquet

Return to me salvation

Do you remember me?

Lost for so long

Will you be on the other side

Or will you forget me?

I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming

Am I too lost to be saved?

Am I too lost?

My God my tourniquet

Return to me salvation

My God my tourniquet

Return to me salvation

I want to die!

Kurt had been singing along quietly but that last line, he yelled along with the song. Blaine felt tears running down his face. How the hell could he fix this?

My God my tourniquet

Return to me salvation

My God my tourniquet

Return to me salvation

My wounds cry for the grave

My soul cries for deliverance

Will I be denied Christ

Tourniquet

My suicide

Blaine's shoulders shook with the force of his sobs and his fear. He knew what he had to do now. As much as he didn't want to. He heard footsteps approaching and looked up to see Jason coming toward him. He jumped up and met him halfway.

"We need to talk before you go in there," Blaine said, uncaring that he still had tears on his face.

Jason took in his appearance and nodded. They walked to the stairwell and sat down. Blaine began to talk. He told Jason everything, promising him to silence. He asked him to not talk to Kurt about it, but to please keep an eye on him. Jason, in shock, promised and asked Blaine what he intended to do. Blaine told him he would get Kurt help.

Later, in his room, Blaine took out his phone with a heavy sigh. This is for Kurt, he reminded himself and dialed the number.

"Yes, Blaine?" Her voice was always so proper.

"Mom?" Blaine's voice broke.

"Blaine? What is it?" her voice showed actual concern.

"Mom, I need you," Blaine said through tears.