May 6, 2012, 3:41 p.m.
All You Needed Was Me: Chapter 25
E - Words: 2,999 - Last Updated: May 06, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 35/35 - Created: May 06, 2012 - Updated: May 06, 2012 683 0 0 0 1
Kurt woke up full of questions. He took his time getting ready for the day, trying to straighten out his thoughts. What were the lines between right and wrong? Was it always black and white? Was there ever a gray area? Murder is wrong. But murder in defense or vengeance for someone you love... could that be different? Blaine hadn't used his own hands to kill Sebastian. Yes, he was undoubtedly responsible. But how far would Kurt go to avenge Blaine were he wronged? The thought of anyone harming Blaine sent a flash of heat and fury through his stomach. He was a pacifist at heart, but would he ever do someone harm that had harmed the man he loved? He could see it happening. There was nothing he wouldn't do for Blaine. He missed Blaine dreadfully. Especially after last night. He'd been wrapped in Blaine's arms, safe, loved, and wanted once more. He knew it was his own words and actions that had caused that to stop. But Blaine had lied. He'd kept this huge part of his life from Kurt and he didn't know if he could forgive that. Idiot, his heart told him, did you ever think Blaine didn't tell you because he was trying to protect you from that side of his life? Glaring at his reflection in the mirror, he lifted his chin and walked away. Gathering his designs and patterns for his classes, he left the building.
That afternoon at Warbler's, folks were still trying out various numbers. They had a more narrowed down list and Mr. Schue was after them to settle on something. Blaine and some of the other guys were up trying a group number with Blaine on lead vocals. Kurt had been caught in a conversation with Jason who'd stopped working to watch Colton, but they both went silent as the song began.
It's his hair and his eyes today
that just simply take me away
and the feeling that I'm falling further in love
makes me shiver but in a good way
all the times I have sat and stared
as he thoughtfully thumbs through his hair
and he purses his lips, bats his eyes as he plays,
with me sitting there slack-jawed and nothing to say
coz I love him with all that I am
and my voice shakes along with my hands
coz he's all that I see and he's all that I need
and I'm out of my league once again
It's a masterful melody when he calls out my name to me
as the world spins around him he laughs, rolls his eyes
and I feel like I'm falling but it's no surprise
coz I love him with all that I am
and my voice shakes along with my hands
cause it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea
but I'd rather be here than on land
yes he's all that I see and he's all that I need
and I'm out of my league once again
It's his hair and his eyes today
that just simply take me away
and the feeling that I'm falling further in love
makes me shiver but in a good way
all the times I have sat and stared
as he thoughtfully thumbs through his hair
and he purses his lips, bats his eyes as he plays,
with me sitting there slack-jawed and nothing to say
coz I love him with all that I am
and my voice shakes along with my hands
cause it's frightening to be swimming in this strange sea
but I'd rather be here than on land
yes he's all that I see and he's all that I need
and I'm out of my league once again
Kurt blinked tears from his eyes. He had no idea who picked the song, but Blaine's eyes had never left his. Did Blaine think he was out of Kurt's league? How preposterous! It couldn't be further from the truth. If anything Kurt felt like he was the one out of his league next to the shining star that was Blaine.
The audience applauded and Blaine jumped off the stage. Kurt offered him a shy smile, which he returned readily, his honey eyes aglow.
Someone sat down heavily next to him, sighing loudly. "There was never a chance for me, was there?" Sam asked with a rueful smile.
"Nope," Kurt said, grinning at him.
"Damn. Got any single friends?" Sam asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
"Um, I might. I'll get back to you on that," Kurt replied.
"Good deal," Sam said and got up to join the next group number.
Kurt's eyes returned to Blaine and saw the hurt etched on his features. Wanting to say something, anything to erase that look, Kurt stood and walked toward him. Too late, Blaine had already rushed down the aisle and toward the door. By the time Kurt caught up to him, he was gone.
He was still making mistakes, making things worse between them. Was he really going to be such a fool as to keep the man he loved held at arm's length because he had wanted to defend Kurt? Would he let love's actions kill the love that he obviously still felt?
Returning to his seat, he sat there, lost in thought. Soon, he looked around and realized the room was empty. Practice had ended and he hadn't even noticed. He wondered if anyone had tried to talk to him, but found he didn't really care.
Needing a moment before the ride home, he walked up to the stage, looking through the music there. So many words to so many songs. Songs to celebrate, songs to mourn, songs to dance to, songs to fight with. He loved all of it. Music was in his soul, whether he was studying fashion or not. Any time he needed to ease the pain inside himself, it was music that made him feel whole again. Of course, up until recently, even that had changed. Blaine had been the one who could comfort him, let him know that everything was going to be okay.
Selecting a song, he started the audio equipment and walked to the center of the stage.
. . . . .
Blaine made sure he didn't return to the auditorium until well after practice was over. He'd made enough of an ass out of himself by rushing out, he wasn't going to show up in front of everyone just because he'd forgotten his bag. Coming down the hall, he heard music. Confused, he turned the corner, wondering what was going on. He saw Kurt on the stage, his face grieved. No matter how upset he was, seeing Kurt hurting was like a sharp knife to his heart. Pausing out of sight, he listened. It was interesting to hear Kurt sing a rock song, even if it was softer rock. But his perfect counter tenor was exquisite when it mixed with the lyrics and music.
You call to me, and I fall at your feet
How could anyone ask for more?
And our time apart, like knives in my heart
How could anyone ask for more?
But if there's a pill to help me forget,
God knows I haven't found it yet
But I'm dying to, God I'm trying to
'Cause trying not to love you, only goes so far
And trying not to need you, is tearing me apart
Can't see the silver lining, from down here on the floor
And I just keep on trying, but I don't know what for
'Cause trying not to love you
Only makes me love you more
Only makes me love you more
Blaine came fully into view. Kurt started when he saw him, but kept singing. He waved to a chair and Blaine went and sat down. Now Kurt sang to him, his heart in his voice.
And this kind of pain, only time takes away
That's why it's harder to let you go
And nothing I can do, without thinking of you
That's why it's harder to let you go
But if there's a pill to help me forget,
God knows I haven't found it yet
But I'm dying to, God I'm trying to
'Cause trying not to love you, only goes so far
Trying not to need you, is tearing me apart
Can't see the silver lining, from down here on the floor
And I just keep on trying, but I don't know what for
'Cause trying not to love you
Only makes me love you more
So I sit here divided, just talking to myself
Was it something that I did?
Was there somebody else?
When a voice from behind me, that was fighting back tears
Sat right down beside me, whispered right in my ear
Said, I've been dying to tell you
Kurt hit his hand against his chest, tears falling off his cheeks onto his shirt. He had never meant words more clearly than these.
That trying not to love you, only went so far
Trying not to need you, was tearing me apart
Now I see the silver lining, of what we're fighting for
We just keep on trying, we could be much more
'Cause trying not to love you
Oh, yeah, trying not to love you
Only makes me love you more
Only makes me love you more
The music ended and Kurt stood there staring down at Blaine. Standing up, Blaine walked to the edge of the stage, holding his hands up; an offering. Kurt lowered himself down into Blaine's arms, wrapping his legs around his waist, tucking his head against Blaine's neck.
"I'm so sorry, Blaine," he wept. "I love you. Can you forgive me? Can I be yours again?"
Blaine stroked the back of his head. "Shh, baby. You've always been mine, you never stopped."
Kurt gasped out a sob and moved his head so he could kiss Blaine, slanting their mouths together. They tasted each other and the salty tang of tears on their tongues. Kurt moaned into Blaine's mouth, desperate for more, needing more.
"Um. The guys are all meeting for coffee," Blaine said as their mouths finally separated and he lowered Kurt to the ground. "Would you accompany me?"
"No. I want to go home. With you."
"Okay," Blaine agreed quickly.
They quickly gathered their stuff and headed out to wait for the taxi Blaine had called earlier. They kept their arms wrapped around each other, touching faces, hands, skin. It was like waking up after a nightmare.
"I just want you to know," Blaine said quietly, staring at the ground. "I'm not going to pressure you about getting married or anything. We can start as slow as you need to."
Kurt snorted loudly. "Whatever. I want it all. Now," he said and let go of Blaine.
Blaine started to object to the lack of touch until he saw Kurt's hands go to his neck. He pulled a delicate silver chain out of his shirt, his engagement ring hanging from the end. Quickly working the latch, Kurt handed Blaine the ring. "Would you do the honor?" he asked, smiling and holding his left hand out.
Blaine grinned so big, he thought his face might crack. He gently slid the ring back into place and kissed Kurt's hand. He'd had no idea when he'd woken up that this day would be perfect.
They were still smiling lovingly at each other when Blaine opened the door to their apartment. They did no more than drop their coats and bags before heading straight up the stairs.
Without a word, they began shedding their clothes before coming together on the bed. "God, I've missed this," Blaine said, staring at Kurt's naked form. "You are so beautiful, baby."
"I've missed looking at you," Kurt whispered. Taking in Blaine's muscled arms and the deep V between his hip bones made him want to scream in need.
Laying together, they slowly worshiped each other's bodies. Light touches against tender flesh. A lick here, a nip there. Kurt nibbled that V he loved under Blaine's abs before licking down its path closer to Blaine's hard, glistening cock. He quickly lapped up the moisture there, moaning at the taste of Blaine on his tongue.
Blaine returned the torture, licking and sucking at Kurt's sensitive nipples before leaning down and licking along his balls. Kurt bucked up at the feeling of Blaine's hot tongue against his flesh.
"No more, Blaine, I need you now," Kurt begged.
Blaine slotted their mouths together, massaging their tongues together, hot and wet. Expertly he reached over and got out the lube and a condom.
Kurt cried out as a single finger entered him.
"Baby? Are you okay?" Blaine demanded as he froze in his movements.
"Oh god, yes. More please," Kurt pleaded.
"You gotta let me go slow, here, babe. It's been a while," Blaine said gently, though he felt the same urgency to be one.
"No Blaine. More, now," he demanded.
Blaine shook his head, but inserted another finger and they both moaned. Kurt at finally feeling that delicious fullness again. Blaine at the tight, hot flesh pressing around his fingers.
Within seconds, Kurt was urging him again. "Another, I'm ready," he said, smacking at Blaine's shoulders.
Blaine obliged him, going as slow as he could. But as soon as the third finger entered him, Kurt thrust down hard against it, crying out his pleasure. After only a moment, he began fucking himself down on Blaine's fingers, moaning loudly.
"I love you, Blaine," he gasped out.
"I love you, too, baby," Blaine said. The sight of Kurt's pale form, blushing pink from lust, bucking down on his fingers was the single most erotic thing he'd ever seen.
"I need you now," Kurt muttered. "Please Blaine."
Blaine grabbed the condom and began opening it. A hand stopped him. Kurt's blue-green eyes were clouded with desire and determination. "No condom. We're both clean. I need just you, Blaine. Even if it's just this once. I need to feel just you inside me."
Nodding, Blaine tossed it aside. He'd dreamed of how this would feel. No matter how thin condoms were, they still weren't the real thing.
He lubed himself up, stroking himself as Kurt watched, a whimper escaping his lips. He lined himself up at Kurt's entrance and slowly eased in. Both of them gasped and kept up a steady stream of moans and groans as Blaine slid all the way in. The feeling was so much more intense, hot and intimate with just their flesh against each other.
Blaine bent over and latched his lips onto Kurt's as he started to slowly thrust into him. Kurt panted and sucked at his tongue desperately before leaning his head back so he could cry out loudly.
"Mine," Blaine whispered in his ear, pounding into him.
"Yours, Blaine. Only yours," Kurt agreed breathlessly.
Blaine knew he wasn't going to last, so he grasped Kurt's straining cock and began stroking him to the same rhythm that his hips were using. Kurt began giving small yips and cries as he got closer to his orgasm. Suddenly his back bowed off the bed, his hips high in the air as he keened loudly with pleasure, coming in jolting stripes across his stomach and chest. He collapsed back on the bed, shuddering from the force of his release. The sight of Kurt coming had pushed him over the edge and he yelled out Kurt's name as he came, the orgasm and pulsing seeming to go on forever.
Finally their bodies calmed and Blaine slipped from Kurt, both of them hissing. Blaine collapsed next to Kurt, pulling him close. He felt moisture against his chest and looked down to see tears coursing down Kurt's face.
"Baby, what is it?" Blaine asked, afraid he'd hurt him.
"It's just, that was just, it was, you were perfect, Blaine," he finally got out through his tears. "Everything I needed at that moment, you gave me."
"I agree," was all Blaine could say. He stroked Kurt's hair and down his back, humming softly until Kurt's tears were spent.
"I love you," Kurt said, looking up at him with damp eyes.
"I love you, too," Blaine said, smiling gently.
After laying there for a time, they went and took a leisurely shower. Hunger hit them both and they made a small picnic to take back up and eat on the bed. They got through their sandwiches quickly, Kurt making sure Blaine didn't get crumbs on the covers. As they fed each other strawberries and grapes, licking juices from each other's lips and chins, the food was soon forgotten. The lovers cleared the bed and feasted on each other instead until they finally fell into a blissful sleep, wrapped around each other as it was meant to be.
. . . . .
Kurt woke and stretched languidly, enjoying the small aches in his body. The clock showed that it was only five in the morning, and though he knew he could sleep more, he wasn't interested. Instead he turned over to stare at Blaine, whose features were softened in sleep. His dark eyelashes were fanned out; Kurt was envious of how long his lashes were, but at least he got to stare at them. He hadn't shaved for a couple days and the scruff growing made him want to rub his cheek on it. Kurt was sure he already had scruff burn on a couple parts of his body, but it was a pain he didn't mind in the least.
Blaine moved in his sleep, drawing Kurt closer to him. Resting his arms on Blaine's chest, he continued to stare at him. His lips were fascinating and Kurt was about to give in to the temptation of touching them when he was suddenly flipped over.
Golden eyes twinkled at him. "What are you doing awake at this ungodly hour?" Blaine sleep roughened voice asked him.
"Staring at the most beautiful creature on earth," Kurt said with a smile.
"I don't see a mirror, how did you see yourself?" Blaine teased.
"Whatever," Kurt said, lightly smacking him. "Kiss me."
"Okay, fine," Blaine grumbled and gently molded their lips together.
Kurt got to do what he'd been wanting to do and licked at Blaine's upper lip, the one that drove him to distraction. Opening his eyes to stare at Blaine, he smiled into the precious face of the man he loved.
Blaine was staring at Kurt, knowing Kurt must be able to see the adoration he felt. He was leaning in for another kiss, when Kurt's expression suddenly changed. Horror crossed his features and his lips moved too slow to call out a warning. Blaine had no time to react and the last thing he saw was the utter terror on Kurt's beautiful face.