The next day, Kurt was still flying high on his success with the Warbler's. He and one other singer had gotten accepted. They had their first assignment that he was currently working on. Wes had said to find a song that represented someone they cared about. A round-about way of getting to know one another. Scrolling through his iPod, he threw around a few options. Getting personal was fine, but the song still had to sound good, so he was being picky. His first night in the dorm had been surprisingly peaceful. He and Jason had talked for a little while, but both of them settled down to sleep and it was quiet for the rest of the night. Jason had left early this morning to hang out with Puck and some of his other friends, but had exchanged cell numbers in case Kurt needed anything. He now had all the Warbler's cell numbers and they all had his. It was part of the way they communicated to get last minute rehearsal notifications out. It made Kurt feel more connected, even though he was still the new guy. Everyone had been very welcoming after his performance, congratulating him and praising his voice. All except one. Blaine had stood off to the side, glaring at him the entire time. He had no idea what he'd done to piss the guy off, but something had. Kurt had made up his mind to just avoid him and have minimal contact when he had to. He was stuck between two songs when he heard a faint knock on the door. Getting up, he figured it would be a friend of Jason's since he didn't have any friends yet. Though Jason was proving to be a great guy.

Opening the door, still staring at his iPod, he glanced up and froze. Blaine stood there, leaning against the doorframe, a classic pose of bad-boy nonchalance. Kurt swallowed down his gasp before it could escape him. The look on Blaine's face was desire, plain and simple. Kurt had seen it before, aimed at other people. He wondered why he was seeing it now.

"Um, Jason's not here," he mumbled, grabbing the door to close it.

"If I was here for Jason, I wouldn't be talking to your nancy face, now would I?" Blaine said, blocking the door and walking in the room. He took a cursory look around. "Let me guess, this is your side," he said, pointing to Kurt's bed with its elegant deep blue comforter with matching pillows.

"What do you want, Blaine," Kurt asked, taking his earbuds out. This wasn't good. Never get closed in with your enemies. He knew that and he hadn't acted quickly enough.

"Disgustingly enough, I want you. I have no idea why, but your freaking voice turned me the fuck on and now I need to get you out of my system. Come here," Blaine said, sitting at the end of Kurt's bed, patting his lap.

Kurt's eyes went wide. "Are you out of your fucking mind?" he demanded, incredulous at the man's daring.

"I must be. Now come here. I know you aren't getting it anywhere else and I'll make sure you get off, don't worry," Blaine said, his voice and face casual as if they were talking about the weather.

"Get the hell out of my room! I don't want anything to do with you. You're a prick and I wouldn't screw you if you were the last guy on the face of the earth," Kurt exploded. He knew his face would be bright red from the emotion, but he didn't give it much thought. All of his instincts were screaming to get this guy out of the room. He'd learned long ago to listen to those instincts.

Blaine stood and stalked toward him. Kurt's heart was racing with fear and rage and he didn't move fast enough before Blaine had him trapped against the wall. His well muscled arms were caging Kurt in and he leaned close until his hips rubbed against Kurt's. Kurt gasped at the feel of Blaine's hardened cock resting against him. He closed his eyes and wished it would just be over.

"Open your eyes," a gentle voice demanded.

Kurt's eyes flew open and he was shocked at the tender look in Blaine's eyes. "I'm not going to hurt you, princess. I just need a taste." With that, he lowered his lips to Kurt's keeping those soft golden eyes on him.

Soft, dry lips brushed lightly against Kurt's. Like a brush fire, heat blazed through Kurt at the gentle touch. His eyes fluttered shut with the shock of the sensation. He'd expected to feel disgust, not this sweet exploration of his lips. Blaine's lips moved over his mouth with practiced motions, nibbling on his upper lip, his bottom, the corners of his mouth. Kurt started when he felt Blaine's tongue lightly touch along the seam of his lips. He gasped at the desire that coursed through his body at the sensation. Blaine took the opportunity to slip his tongue inside Kurt's mouth. His hands moved to Kurt's face, holding it still as he explored his lips, teeth and tongue. As their tongues rubbed against each other, Kurt let out a soft moan. He had never known that kissing could be like this. This was intense and magical.

Blaine let a sound escape him as Kurt's tongue hesitantly massaged his. The sound broke the spell and Blaine stepped back suddenly, not caring that Kurt stumbled. The younger man's face was flushed and his eyes were glassy with desire as he staggered to hold his place against the wall.

Kurt stared at him, unsure of what had just happened. Had he done something wrong? Kissed wrong? He knew he was inexperienced, but judging from the size of Blaine's arousal as it had pressed against him, he figured he was holding his own.

"Blaine," Kurt muttered, wondering what was going on.

"Don't get your panties in a twist, princess. I got what I wanted. Now I can go find something more attractive to fuck. Anything to get your pasty face out of my head," Blaine said scathingly. He refused to be affected by the hurt and shame on the man's pale face.

Kurt watched Blaine stalk out the door, slamming it behind him. He stumbled to his bed and curled up on his side, letting the tears fall. He felt used, dirty, and disgusting. The kiss had started out as one of the most beautiful moments of Kurt's entire life and had ended as a humiliating experience. He'd felt this before, it was like an old friend returning to say hello. This friend was sharp and painful, though. But he knew how to handle it.

Rolling off the bed, he walked into the bathroom, his sight clouded over with shame and pain. Reaching under the sink for the small black box, he opened it. Sighing at the sight of the shiny metal, he knew relief was just a few moments away. Unbuttoning his pants, he bared his hip. Biting his lip, he took the razor blade and pushed it into his skin and dragged. Immediately, he felt the endorphins kick in as blood bubbled up over the small cut. He sighed in relief. He knew it would work. It always did. Maybe just one more, he thought. One more to make him forget.

. . . . .

Blaine knew he was an asshole for what he'd done. But he really had just wanted a taste, to see if Kurt's mouth was as beautiful as his voice. He would never tell Kurt he thought he was so gorgeous it was nearly painful just to look at him. And he would never tell him that the kiss had shaken him to the core of his being. He was an experienced kisser, he knew what he was doing. He could kiss someone into orgasm and not even be affected. Yet with Kurt, he'd hardened as soon as he'd opened the door. Then the kiss. Blaine rubbed his hands over his face. That kiss had been the sweetest, most pure and honest kiss he'd ever shared. Kurt tasted the way heaven must look. Blaine knew he would be able to kiss the man forever and never grow tired of it. When he'd moaned, he was grateful for interrupting himself. Otherwise he may not have stopped. He may have continued until he had the soft pale man underneath him. His biggest fear was that even that might not have been enough. Insulting him like that was purely instinct. He always let his tongue run when he was nervous or caught off guard. It had become a protective reaction to his parents at a young age. They insulted him and talked about how he was a piece of crap. He had learned how to give back as good as he got. They never knew he cried in his bed at night, all of their words running like monsters through his young mind. Now his parents left him alone. They paid for anything he wanted, giving him unlimited funds, as long as he left them alone in return. He would contact them via email or letter if he needed something. Money always arrived within hours of the request. It had made life comfortable. He'd gotten over the hurt his parents had caused years ago. Sex, pot, alcohol, all got him through the toughest of times. He'd discovered singing almost by mistake. David had heard him one afternoon when he was singing along with a CD. He'd invited him to visit the Warbler's and see what it was all about. He'd auditioned and joined the same day. It was the first time he'd felt like he wasn't alone. He would never be weak enough to admit it to his teammates, but they'd saved his life. With singing and performing to keep him going, he'd laid off the drinking and drugs. He still drank at parties, but it wasn't something he had to do anymore. That was one of the things that worried him about Kurt. Kurt felt like he was something Blaine had to do, had to be around, had to have more of. Blaine responded the only way he knew how, insults. He felt like a class A prick, but he'd learned long ago that if he didn't put himself first, protect himself, he'd only end up being the one hurt.

. . . . .

Jason came back to the room with a smile for his roommate. Kurt was a cool kid and it was promising to become a real friendship if things kept on as they were. His smile faded when he saw the pale, drawn expression on the smaller man's face as he lay on his bed.

"Kurt, you okay?" he asked with concern.

"Fine," Kurt replied, a weak smile pulling his lips up as he sat up. "I think I'm hungry."

"Come on, I'll head to the café with you. I can always use more coffee," Jason said, even though he'd just left there.

Kurt stood and stumbled. Jason caught his arm and helped steady him. "Kurt, when's the last time you ate?"

"Yesterday, I think," he said. "I just need some protein. You know that is the most important part of the meal," he told Jason as they headed out of the room.

"No way. Gotta side with the carbs," Jason kidded, keeping a close eye on Kurt.

Kurt got on his soapbox about nutrition and Jason let him, noticing it brought some color back to his pale cheeks. Maybe the kid really was just hungry. As they entered the doors of the café, someone brushed past Kurt, shoving his shoulder roughly into the door. Kurt stumbled again. Jason saw Blaine look back and continue walking. He was going to have to have words with that asshole. He wasn't about to let his roommate get bullied by that prick. Though with the amount of money Blaine's folks threw at the Academy, Blaine would never get in trouble. He'd just have to handle it himself.

Kurt wasn't surprised it was Blaine. He'd expected as much. He'd been wrong though. It hadn't taken just one more cut of the blade to make him feel better. He should've known better. One more was never enough.

Jason had his arm around him as they walked to the salad bar. Concerned for his roommates health, Kurt started in on him again, pointing out the nutrition value of certain vegetables.