Don't Wanna Be Your Dirty Little Secret
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Don't Wanna Be Your Dirty Little Secret: Chapter 14


E - Words: 5,425 - Last Updated: Oct 13, 2015
Story: Closed - Chapters: 19/? - Created: Mar 29, 2015 - Updated: Mar 29, 2015
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Author's Notes:

Nice long chapter for you guys :D thank you all for the support and the colourful death threats against Amy aha Im glad to see people getting excited about this story.

Kurt and Blaine sat next to each other on Mercedes sofa, trying to keep some distance between themselves as they watched the Christmas movies that each one of them had picked. Their snacks were mince pies and egg nog which was leaving all of them pleasantly buzzed.

It was their last movie night before they all went their separate ways for the Christmas holidays. Sam would be going home to see his parents and his younger twin siblings in Kentucky, while Mercedes and Blaine would be going home to Los Angeles. Kurt was obviously going back to Ohio while David and Wes families were all going abroad to England for the Christmas season.

"Im really going to miss these evenings while were back home." Sam said, stretching in his seat.

"Me too." Mercedes agreed. "Well have to agree to meet all meet up as soon as were back. Maybe invite Santana along." She suggested to Kurt.

Kurt smiled at her gratefully. "Thatd be great. I already said my goodbyes to her at lunch today. Shed normally be coming back to Ohio too but her parents wanted to spend the holidays here in New York."

"I wish I could stay in New York." Blaine sighed. "It gets snow here. Los Angeles hardly ever gets snow and its never around Christmas so Im not at home to enjoy it." Blaine pouted adorably, and if they werent in a room with other people then Kurt would have willingly kissed away that pout.

"Ohio is much more boring than New York. Maybe next year Ill convince my family to come to New York for the festive season." Kurt mused, wondering if hed be able to convince his father.

"What are your plans for when you go home Kurt?" Mercedes asked, curiously.

"Well my step-brother Finn arrives home from army training the day after I get home so well grab him from the airport and hes already enlisted my help for buying peoples Christmas presents, hes useless without someone to guide him. Then well probably spend some time with our old friends from the New Directions, which was my old glee club. Christmas Eve Ill help my step-mum Carole set up ready for the early morning cooking that needs to be done on Christmas day."

"What about New Year?" Blaine asked.

"New Year my uncle Andy always has a party where the parental units always get hilariously drunk and let us kids do whatever we like. We play various games, have food eating contests, poker, betting with real money. One year we had a game of Monopoly that lasted twelve hours." Kurt grinned at the memory.

"That actually sounds way awesome." Sam said, giving Kurt a smile.

Kurt didnt understand the sudden personality flip in Sam. He had been weird around Kurt previously, after he had found out about Kurt and Blaine. Now for some reason he was acting a little apologetic and certainly nicer than he had before. Kurt didnt want to think that it was because he was being accepting but he couldnt be sure what had inspired the change. Blaine had avoided the issue saying that he and Sam had reached an understanding and that was all that really mattered, and that Kurt shouldnt worry his pretty little mind about it.

The night started drawing to a close at around one in the morning and everyone went their separate ways after hugging one another and wishing each other a merry Christmas and a happy new year.

Blaine and Kurt got on the subway together. They were planning to spend their last night in New York together, snuggled up in Kurts bed which was now their favourite place to be. Kurt had warned Blaine that he would have to leave in the early hours of the morning though because Rachel had approached Kurt about flying home together which Kurt had agreed to, as he hadnt really seen or talked to Rachel for some weeks. She had booked them an early flight and Kurt knew shed be calling in on him even earlier to make sure that he was all ready to go.

They both knew that it was a little risky to have Blaine stay over but it was something that the both of them really wanted before they would be forced to spend three weeks apart from each other. They had been spending pretty much every day together to some extent and suddenly going without physical contact for a long time was going to be strange and a challenge.

XXXX

Kurt had set an alarm for five in the morning in order to get Blaine out of his room and into his own and so that Kurt could get his last little bits together before Rachel came calling on him.

Kurt soon discovered that waking up any earlier than seven in the morning for Blaine was a near impossibility. He flat out refused to get out of the bed for the first five minutes and only started to move when Kurt bribed him with kisses. It took another fifteen minutes before Blaine was fully functioning enough to kiss Kurt goodbye and exchange their last I love yous in person before Blaine went next door and instantly fell into his own bed fast asleep.

Gathering all his luggage together Kurt got himself ready for the day, venturing out into the streets of New York to grab himself a coffee, even at the early hour of six a.m. He got himself a bagel for breakfast as well as his coffee at the nearest Starbucks and headed back to his room, awaiting Rachels arrival before they would depart for the airport.

Sure enough at seven oclock Rachel was knocking on the door looking very chipper for the early hour. Kurt still found it weird to see Rachels new look. It was like the girl had become an adult overnight and Kurt had no idea what had happened to the old Rachel. He wondered how this new Rachel would function in Ohio and with their new friends. He knew it would be hard for Finn to recognise her now and Kurt did wonder whether it would change Finns feelings for her. Finn had been very pro the old Rachel, it was something that Finn adored about her. The real challenge would be whether her seeing Finn would revert her back to the old her or whether she would stick with the new Rachel.

The flight back to Ohio was full of Rachel telling him all the tales of her time so far at NYU. There was a lot of talk of parties and Kurt couldnt even count the amount of names that she rattled off as if Kurt was supposed to know who they all were. Kurt couldnt figure out how they had managed to become two so completely different people in the space of a few months. He really did hardly recognise her anymore and it made him feel a little melancholy in all honesty.

For once Kurt was glad that Rachel liked to be the centre of attention because what could he honestly tell her that he had been doing with his time. There was no way he could confide in her about his relationship with Blaine knowing that she tended to have loose lips and that the secret would be out probably before they had even got back to New York. It wasnt Rachels fault, she just really liked to talk.

All in all, Kurt was thankful when the plane landed and both sets of their parents were waiting for them at the airport. As soon as Kurt saw his father he grabbed him in a hug, letting go quickly when he remembered his fathers cancer and the treatment, which was actually more painful than the cancer.

Burt Hummel did look a bit haggered but his smile was still bright as he held his son. He didnt want to admit how much he missed his son, well really both of his boys. The house was awfully quite without Kurts show tunes playing at a ridiculous volumes and watching the football was boring since he had gotten used to watching it with Finn.

Carole had joked that maybe they should have another child and Burt was seriously considering it. Not just because he missed having boys around but because he had always wanted to have more children with Kurts mother, Elizabeth which had unfortunately never happened due to ill health. Carole and Burt had decided to not do anything until they had discussed things with the boys and only once they had the go ahead from them and Burts health had improved would they look into it.

To Burt though, Kurt would always be his baby boy. He truly did see Kurt as something precious, his and Lizzies little miracle. Because of the years where it had just been him and Kurt it felt weird not to have him at home now. He was thankful for Carole and Finn because without them he didnt know how he would have survived having Kurt go off to college with Burt having to return home to an empty house every day. It was as if Carole had been placed in their lives right when someone like her was needed.

"Lets get back home, huh? I want to hear all about New York and your classes." Burt enthused, wrapping and arm around him son and helping him to carry some of his luggage out of the airport.

As much as Kurt loved New York, he was very glad to be home and seeing his dad. He had really missed his old man and he hadnt really realised how much until they were reunited with each other. He couldnt wait to spend some proper quality time with him, fixing cars up in the garage like they used to do after school.

XXXX

Kurt spent the evening telling Burt and Carole all about his school in New York and his classes and about how he was getting along with it all. He didnt really want to admit to them that he was struggling to make friends or that he had started into a relationship with someone that already had a girlfriend. He absolutely knew that neither Burt nor Carole would approve of that. He tried to stick away from any conversations about the friends that Kurt had made there so he simply said that he had found a groups of friends that were really supportive and that seemed to placate his father.

Kurt was tired from his early morning and late night and he could see that his father was getting tired too. Saving his father from having to admit that he needed to call it a night, Kurt told them all that he was feeling tired and that he was going to go to bed. He saw the look of relief that Carole shot him, knowing that Burt wouldnt have gone to bed early if Kurt was still awake.

Kurt decided to ring Blaine, because he wasnt entirely ready to go to bed and they hadnt talk all day. Blaine was still in New York for the day and would be heading out to Los Angeles tomorrow afternoon, after which Blaine and Kurt would have to work out what times would be the best time to call one another because of the time difference that they would have between them. They had both agreed to only call each other once a day at night and they would text throughout the day whenever it was possible for them to do so. Neither of them wanted to appear to clingy and make it look like they needed to constantly be in touch with each other. That was a bit too much pressure to put on their relationship and neither of them were willing to risk that.

His conversation with Blaine wasnt all that long as Kurt couldnt deny, he was pretty tired. Kurt had just wanted to let Blaine know that he was home safe and sound and that he wouldnt be available for any longer that night. Plus he didnt want to go to bed without telling Blaine that he loved him and hearing it in return.

XXXX

The next day the Hummel-Hudson family were up early again to go and collect Finn from the airport. Kurt was really looking forward to seeing his brother again. He missed the big lug if he was being honest. Finns simple way of seeing the world was always something that Kurt could count on to cheer him up. True, he sometimes wonder how Finn would manage to function outside of high school when he didnt really have the most amazing brain power. Still he was smart in his own way and the way that he saw the world was a nice one, even though he had faced his own amount of terrible heartbreak. He still managed to always pick himself up and Kurt envied him that ability.

Kurt waited anxiously at the airport with Burt and Carole. Finns flight had been a little delayed but had just landed and they were anxious to see if Finn was doing okay. He did phone Burt and Carole once a week but the conversations were always short and nothing was really said much about how Finn was really feeling about everything.

They were able to spot Finn in the crowd because of how tall he was and as soon as the tall teen saw them he hurried to push through the crowd so that he could hug each one of them individually. Kurt cherished his hug with his brother, remembering a time when Finn wouldnt have hugged him out of fear of being seen gay. Now Finn didnt care about that kind of thing. He had realised that there was nothing wrong with being seen as gay. He knew he was straight and anyone that really knew him or mattered knew that he was straight. Besides Kurt was his brother.

"How are you doing sweetie?" Carole asked, looking him over, checking to see if anything was out of place.

"Im good mum. Starving though. Whats for dinner?" Finn asked, showing that he really wasnt liking the food that the army base served.

"I thought we could go out to Breadstix. Its been a few month that weve all been together as a family. Im glad to have all my boys back under one roof." Carole said, linking arms with Burt and Kurt as the group walked out to the car.

Finn looked very dashing in his army uniform and he was wearing it with pride. The reason he had joined the army was because of his dad. He wanted to do his birth father proud after he had been dishonourably discharged because of taking drugs which he later overdosed on and died, not giving Finn the chance to know who his dad was because Finn had only been a baby. Finn was also proud that he was doing something with his life. Throughout high school he had thought that he would get a scholarship so that he could play football professionally after being made the Quarterback for McKinley high schools football team when he was only in his Freshman year. He had been a very talented player and a great team leader. His leadership skills had come in useful in glee club as Rachel had dubbed him and her as the team leaders and he had proved himself countless times in that role as well. When his football scholarship dreams had fell through he hadnt really known what to do with himself, believing himself not to be good enough for anything. Kurt had managed to talk to him and get through to him, so that Finn changed his mind. Kurt however hadnt banked on him joining the army. But in the end, Finn was happy and that was what mattered the most.

They went back to the house and dropped Finns massive rucksack of stuff off. Then they took it easy for a couple of hours. Finn and Burt sat down to watch one of the Buckeyes games that Burt had recorded so that Finn could watch them when he got home. Kurt sat in the living room with them flicking through some Vogue magazines while messaging Blaine. Carole was in the kitchen starting on all of Finns washing that he had brought home with him.

It was nice to have the four of them all back home, going about their usual routines as if they hadnt spent any time away from home. Sure the conversations had changed. Finn was telling them about how well his training was going and that soon he was going to be put out on the field, not doing any actually fighting yet but assisting the men that were already out there.

Finn was really interested in Kurts life in New York too and could instantly tell that Kurt wasnt telling them the full story. He didnt say anything in front of their parents though, opting to wait until he could talk to Kurt one-to-one. But he listened as Kurt talked excitedly about New York and all the wonders that it offered.

It took Finn a little while to work up the courage to ask Kurt about Rachel. He hadnt had any contact with her when hed joined the army, choosing to tell her at the last possible minute, ruining all of their plans of them getting an apartment together. Finn really did love Rachel but he knew that New York was not a place for him. He was a small-town kind of guy and the hustle and bustle of a busy city like that was not something that Finn could see himself comfortable with. It would be a good place to visit but he couldnt imagine trying to live there and navigate a life there.

Kurt almost felt bad when he told Finn that he didnt really know much on the Rachel front. He saw the disheartened look that Finn got on his face because of it and really hated that he couldnt give him anything encouraging. The truth was that Finn and Rachel were two very different people and they would never live together in harmony unless one of them stepped down from their dreams, which neither of them wanted to do, and really neither of them should have ever done that.

"But hey, youll be able to see her over the next few weeks. Shes back home in Lima for Hanukkah." Kurt said, trying to give his brother an encouraging smile.

"Yeah, yeah." Finn said with a grin moving back to do whatever he had been doing previously.

It sucked that Kurt couldnt say much about Rachel. He didnt want to tell his step-brother about how much Rachel had changed over the little while that she had been in New York. Finn has seriously loved that girl, more so than she deserved sometimes, in Kurts opinion. She didnt appreciate the love that Finn had for her and she had been very pushy with him. Sometimes it had been for the better. She had boosted his confidence and made him more likely to think for himself. But then she always seemed to be able to get what she wanted from him, which was the downside. Rachel had far too an expensive taste for Finn to be able to keep up with.

Burt had to have a nap halfway through the day, showing Kurt just how much his fathers illness and treatment was affecting him. It wasnt like Burt Hummel to take a nap. The man had always preferred to stay busy, mostly in the garage where he spent a lot of his days working on cars. He had been thinking about running for Congress and he was to some extent still running and a lot of people supported him. It was mostly on the back burner and Kurt and Finns old glee club and Spanish teacher, Will Schuester, was Burts campaign manager and was handling most of the work at the moment. Burt was planning on being healthy enough to actually run soon enough and a lot of people were rooting for him in Lima, despite his stance on equal marriage and the rights of gay people. Kurt was so proud of his father, even if he was worried about his health and wellbeing.

After Burt had woken up from his nap which neither of the boys said anything about, knowing that it would wound their fathers pride, they all headed to Breadstix. The boys were welcomed warmly by the staff that remembered them from all the times that they had gone there during high school.

Kurt was surprised to see that his father was actually eating healthily and by his own choice. Normally whenever Kurt had insisted that his father eat healthily, Burt would always complain that it was rabbit food. Kurt was just glad that his father was taking his health seriously now. He wouldnt even know what to do with himself if he lost his dad. His dad had always been there, standing strong and being supportive of Kurts dreams even though most of the time he didnt get them at all. You would never find a parent that was prouder than Burt Hummel was of his kids.

"So boys, now that weve got you both home, there was something that Carole and I wanted to talk to you both about."

Kurt narrowed his eyes wondering what on earth his father could be talking about. Finn didnt bother to make much of a deal about it, too engrossed with his burger. He did look towards them to make sure that they knew that they had his attention but that was all.

"We were thinking of having another baby." Burt announced simply.

Kurts eyes widened comically, making Burt want to laugh. Finn started choking on the bite of burger that he had just taken and started coughing and spluttering. Carole started to whack Finn on the back, trying to dislodge the food that was choking him. Finn took a drink of water to clear his throat more and started to calm down from his choking fit.

"What do you mean, have a baby? You still do that kind of thing? Arent you too old?"

Carole rolled her eyes and chuckled a little, placing a hand on Finns arm.

"Were only going to try, it might not take. We thought you boys might like another little brother or sister. Someone cute to visit when you both come home from your gallivanting. Carole explained.

While Kurt was a little shook up about the idea he was happy for them both. If that was something that they really wanted then he would be the best big brother he could be. It was a little weird though because for most of his life he had been an only child. He was only really just getting used to having Finn as a sibling. Finn would settle brilliantly into the role of big brother as he already loved being a brother to Kurt. Kurt on the other hand would have a hard time because he had no idea what children were like. He wasnt even sure if he wanted to have children one day. The whole prospect seemed a little daunting, he was ashamed to admit. What if his little brother or sister didnt like him but really liked Finn? That would be a real kick in the teeth.

"Well Im already a big brother but I bet Kurt would be excited to be a big brother." Finn said, grinning.

"Im older than you, Finn." Kurt reminded as Finn tended to see Kurt as his little brother because Kurt was shorter than him.

"Details." Finn said, brushing aside the comment.

"I assume youre waiting to do anything until my dad is better?" Kurt asked, not really wanting to know any specifics but anxious that Burt wouldnt be put under any more stress than he needed.

"Of course. My health comes first." Burt reassured his son.

Kurt smiled. "Then I have no qualms about it."

The rest of their meal continued with thankfully no one else choking on their food or revealing anything that might make someone choke on their food.

By the end of the evening it was clear that Burt was practically dead on his feet so both him and Carole called it a night and left the boys to their own devices.

Kurt and Finn headed into Finns room and Kurt watched him play some game with shooting in it. Kurt didnt mind watching Finn play his games and had spent a lot of the summer months doing just that as they spent time with each other before the both of them went off to their various futures.

Finn always seemed to know that whenever Kurt came in to watch him while he was on the Xbox it meant that Kurt wanted to talk to him about something. All Finn had to do was be patient and Kurt would tell him what was on his mind in time. Finn would bet on it, that that was the reason that Kurt was in his room right now.

Sure enough all it took was ten minutes of Finn playing games and Kurt fiddling about on his phone before Kurt asked Finn if he could talk to him about something. They had a consensus that Finn would continue to play his game but he would listen to Kurt and try to help him in any way that he could.

"Hey, Finn. Can I talk to you about something?" Kurt asked, right on cue.

"Sure." Finn said, jabbing at the X on his controller so that he could re-spawn his character.

"Ive met someone in New York, a guy." Kurt clarified.

"This isnt gonna be one of those awkward conversations when we talk about gay sex is it because I dont wanna be talking to you about any kind of sex. Youre my brother, dude." Finn said, making a face.

"Ugh, no Finn. Its nothing like that." Kurt said quickly.

"Okay then." Finn said, relaxing. "You can continue."

Kurt did, somewhat nervously. "This guy and I, were together. Dating. But its not that easy." Kurt admitted.

"Whats wrong?" Finn asked, beginning to wonder whether his brother was getting abused or something.

"He, umm, he has a girlfriend at the same time as hes dating me." Kurt admitted quietly.

Finn whipped his head round quickly to look at Kurt. Kurt watched the screen as Finns character died once again. Finn quickly quit out of the game and made Kurt give him his full attention.

"You wanna run that by me again?" Finn asked, hoping that he had heard wrong or something.

"Blaine, thats his name, has a girlfriend at the same time as he is dating me." Kurt said.

"Who was he dating first?"

"He was dating her." Kurt admitted, closing his eyes with shame and guilt.

"Why would you either enter into a relationship with someone if you knew that they were dating someone else?" Finn was wondering what had possessed his brother to have done something so stupid. Surely he had learnt from all of Finns mistakes in high school.

"I love him, Finn." Kurt said, tears springing to his eyes as he was once again reminded why he was going against all of his morals.

Finn sighed, knowing how much Kurt had clung to the idea of love in high school. He knew how much love meant to Kurt. Kurt had always been determined to find love, the one that he was destined to be with. No one had wanted to burst the cruel bubble for him that the world didnt always work on love and while that might be his ideal of the world, a lot of other people saw the world as a meat sale and were only interested in satisfying their carnal desires. Kurt had never seen that side of things. If hed had gone to the gay bar in Lima then he might have realised that a lot of guys only really wanted one thing while they were at that age. Kurt was an anomaly.

"Have you told Burt?" Finn asked, gently.

"No. Hed be so disappointed in me. Weve always said that cheating is one of the most horrible things you can do because so many people get hurt when it comes to it. I just cant tell him what Im doing."

"Well doesnt that say everything, Kurt? If youre too ashamed to tell your own father, who you talk to about everything, then surely its something that you shouldnt be doing? It means that you know that its wrong Kurt. Think of how much you could be hurting the girl that he is with. You might not know her and how much she feels for Blaine but that doesnt mean you shouldnt not try to think about her feelings."

Kurt lowered his head in shame. Of course Finn was telling him all the things that he already knew but it felt more real with someone else talking about them. Kurt had never wanted to hurt anybody, he just couldnt help who he had fallen in love with.

"I know that you love this guy. I mean, I dont doubt that for a second but you really need to think about the consequences of what youre doing. This is the kind of stuff that created all of those dramas in high school. The ones that you always wanted nothing to do with." Finn reminded his brother. "Just promise me that you will think about it." Finn said, knowing that Kurt probably didnt have the strength to call things off with this guy at the moment and it would probably be better to do it in person.

"I will." Kurt promised his brother.

He stood up shakily and made his way out of Finns room as quickly as he could. He wanted nothing more than to snuggle up in his bed and cry. What Finn had said had rung true with him and thought he didnt really want to admit it he knew that his brother was right.

XXXX

Finn sighed after Kurt left his room. He couldnt believe that something like this was happening to his little brother. And where was Rachel while all of this was going on? Surely she should have been advising him against pursuing anything with this Blaine guy. Finn wondered how Kurt and Rachels friendship was fairing in New York. He was well aware that they could have their tense moments and he wondered if that was something that had happened and that was why she wasnt advising him against this relationship.

Finn had some leave coming up before he was going to be going out on the field and he decided that going to New York to see how his brother was getting on would be his first port of call. Maybe hed even get to know this Blaine guy and talk to him and ask him what the hell he thought he was playing at because Finn honestly wanted to know who this guy was that was making Kurt act so out of character. This was so unlike Kurt and Finn just wanted to make sure that Kurt was going to get hurt too badly. Sure he knew Kurt wasnt really his little brother but Finn still felt as if it were his duty to look after him. Maybe it was trying to make up for high school, he wasnt really sure. He just felt very protective over Kurt. Now at least he would be smart enough that he would forget about popularity and he would defend his brother until the end, no matter what the cost was.


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