To: Kurt Hummel

From: Lucas Duvall

You are far too kind.  I’m glad that you didn’t find my message as awkward as I myself did!

I like your idea of twenty questions; shall I go first?

My question is…

       If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be?

I think I would pick a lemur, just because they’re so cute.  Their eyes! Their tails! Adorable.  Or maybe an otter for the same reasons.

Blaine chewed his thumbnail, reading over the email again.  He wondered fleetingly if playing twenty questions was a wise decision- surely Kurt would ask some questions that could potentially give Blaine away, if not by themselves, in collection- but he decided he would cross that bridge when he came to it.  The appeal of talking to Kurt was too great for him to think too hard about the risks.

Before he could stop himself, Blaine hit the send button and closed his eyes.  There was no going back now- he’d have to answer whatever question Kurt sent him as honestly as he could.  He owed him that much.  Even if he wasn’t honest about his identity, he could be honest about him- what he thought, what he liked- and hope he didn’t reveal himself in the process.

Luckily my life and I have changed a lot since high school, he thought.  He had grown, stopped gelling his hair (his stylist just made him wash it out anyway), taken acting classes, moved to LA, and, much to his surprise, landed a lead role in his first film, a smash hit, which rocketed him to stardom.

Blaine was proud.  He had initiated, accepted, and embraced all of these changes.  He had no regrets.

Except for one.

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“Blaine, I did it!  I made it!”

Blaine smiled as Kurt ran to him, arms open.  Kurt threw his arms around his neck and Blaine picked him up, spinning happily.  Kurt’s mortarboard flashed red in the corner of his eye, the 2012 pendent dangling alongside the tassel.  Kurt pressed a quick kiss to his mouth as he was set back down.

“I’m leaving McKinley and never looking back!”  Blaine watched, his smile fading slightly, as his boyfriend turned in a circle, hands in the air, eyes closed, and head tilted to the sky.  Kurt twirled back to Blaine, his hands falling to his sides.  “But of course I don’t really mean that.  I’ll wait a little longer to completely detest this place.  After all, my favorite classmate still has a year until his graduation.”  He winked and tapped Blaine’s nose.  “But then you can come to New York with Rach and I and we’ll live the good life!”  He paused to grab his boyfriend’s hand and lead him off of the football field.  “Well, as good a life as we can afford as full time college students.  Now come on, let’s get out of here, I have to change for Quinn’s party.”  Kurt was beaming, and Blaine found himself grinning back.  It was nice to see Kurt so happy- Blaine knew that, even while they were happily dating, his boyfriend still had moments of insecurity and there were still bullies at school, still family crises, still worries about the future.  But, for the moment at least, all of those things were put out of mind. 

They wandered into the parking lot, hand in hand, and weaved through the crowds of new graduates, all of them holding flowers and balloons and posing for pictures with family and friends.  They got to Kurt’s Navigator and slid in, Kurt carefully pulling his mortarboard off his head and setting it in Blaine’s lap.  “Here, keep this as a memory of the day my hair was ruined and I didn’t even care.”  He peered into the rearview mirror, his nose wrinkling as he smoothed back the front of his chestnut mane.  “Well, hardly cared.”

Blaine laughed and gripped the mortarboard.  “You look perfect, as always,” he said, pulling Kurt’s hand away from his hair and lacing their fingers together.  “I am so proud of you.”  He kissed his knuckles, and Kurt’s cheeks reddened.  “But are you sure you don’t want to keep this?”  Blaine held up the graduation cap in his free hand.  “It’s a big day for you- you might want to remember it with this.”

Kurt brought a hand up to Blaine’s face and cupped his cheek.  “No, I want you to have it.  It’s a big day for both of us- we’re one step closer to New York together.  And I can’t wait.”  He leaned in and captured Blaine’s lips for a soft, delicate kiss.

“I love you,” Blaine breathed as they parted.

“I love you, too.”  Kurt smiled and stroked his cheek.  “So much.”

One more chaste kiss and Kurt turned the key, pulled out of the parking lot, and started the drive home, his hand linked with Blaine’s, sitting on the console. 

Blaine squeezed his boyfriend’s hand and closed his eyes, trying to remember it all; the coolness of Kurt’s palm, the way his slender fingers fit in the spaces between his so perfectly, the softness of Kurt’s moisturized skin as Blaine stroked his thumb over his knuckles.  He breathed deeply.

“What are you doing?”

His eyes fluttered open as Kurt glanced at him, smiling.  Oh, he had the most beautiful smile.

“Memorizing,” Blaine replied, smiling back.

“Oh, Blaine, we still have all summer together before-“

“No,” Blaine interrupted quietly, his heart thudding.  “We don’t.”

Kurt’s smile fell for a second, but he gathered himself and pasted it back on his face.  He glanced again at Blaine.  “What?”

“Kurt, we… we don’t.”

“What do you mean?  Of course we do.  I don’t leave in August, that’s over two months-“

“I leave in two weeks,” Blaine whispered.

At this Kurt let go of his hand and gripped the steering wheel hard.  He signaled and shifted lanes before pulling onto the shoulder and pulling the key out of the ignition.  His hands fell to his lap and he turned to face Blaine.  “Wh-what?”

Blaine swallowed, trying to blink away tears.  This wasn’t supposed to happen this way.  This wasn’t supposed to happen on the side of the road, this wasn’t supposed to happen on such a happy day, not yet.  Kurt wasn’t supposed to find out now, not like this.  “I- I, uh-” he stammered.

“Where… where do you think you’re going?!” Kurt asked, his tone urgent and voice shrill.  He stared at Blaine, his hands shaking, and tears pooling in his eyes. 

Blaine squeezed his own eyes shut.  Just say it, he told himself.  Let it out- you might as well.  “California,” he whispered so quietly he could barely hear himself.

“What?” Kurt said just as softly.

“I-” Blaine opened his eyes, focusing on the mortarboard on his lap, the tassel being twisted around his fingers.  He couldn’t look at Kurt, couldn’t see his boyfriend, the one he loved, falling apart in front of him.  He couldn’t see that and know that it was his fault.  “I’m going to California.”

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Kurt grinned when he opened his email that night to find the message from Lucas.  He read over it, giggling more than he would like to admit when Lucas called him kind and then again when otters came up.  He quickly typed out a reply.

To: Lucas Duvall

From: Kurt Hummel

Haha, I’m going to save this message- let’s hope you continue to think I’m too kind, eh?  I’ve been known to be a bit snarky.  If it comes up, please don’t take it personally.

If I could have any animal I think I would have… a bird.  At a school I went to there was a glee club and the newest member had to take care of a bird.  I might’ve pretended to dislike him at times, but really, that bird was adorable.  I loved taking care of him.

Okay, my question is: What is your favorite magazine?  Trivial, yes, but I feel like it’s important.  Mine is Vogue, no competition.

Hitting the send button, Kurt closed his eyes, a smile still gracing his face.  He was having far more fun than he could have imagined talking to a man he met on a dating site.  True, they had only just begun talking, but Kurt felt like there was something there.  A connection, one he hadn’t felt with another person in years. 

Don’t jinx it, you never know where this could lead, Kurt chastised himself.  Don’t get ahead of yourself. 

But even so, he couldn’t help but picture himself with Lucas (of course, Lucas’ face was a bit of a blur- his profile picture surely did nothing for him) strolling through Central Park, watching the birds and squirrels, sipping coffees , sharing biscotti, and holding hands.  He imagined feeling totally at ease in Lucas’ company, being completely comfortable just lazing around the house on a Sunday afternoon watching trashy reality shows on the television and flipping through gossip magazines.  It had been so long since he’d just felt comfortable around a guy. 

Take it slow, he thought again.  Don’t scare him away.  Finding someone is hard, but who knows?  Maybe Rachel was right to sign me up for this site.