With a Feeling I'll Forget
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With a Feeling I'll Forget: Chapter 6


T - Words: 1,927 - Last Updated: Jun 02, 2012
Story: Complete - Chapters: 11/11 - Created: Mar 24, 2012 - Updated: Jun 02, 2012
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"What kinds of things are familiar?"

"You."


When Kurt had sat on the kitchen floor long enough, crying until he couldn't find any more tears, he pulled back from where he'd burrowed into his daughter.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, afraid of the silence in the room, "I shouldn't have… I… you should…"

"It's okay, Daddy," she replied, still stroking his hair in that familiar way Blaine always did. Does. Would do again.

Kurt wiped at his cheeks with the backs of his hands, trying to dry some of the dampness.

"Did something happen to Papa?" she questioned.

A weak smile showed on Kurt's face, as he said with more confidence than he felt, "Everything's going to be okay. You should go back to your room."

Maddy's eyebrows furrowed, "But Daddy…"

"No, no. It's fine. Everything's fine," Kurt kissed her forehead and softly pushed her away. He had to make a phone call. She shouldn't see any more of this.

Her face looked uncertain as she watched Kurt grab his phone off the floor and shakily stand up, gripping the counter to stay stable. Eventually, she gently padded out of the room.

Kurt walked over and watched her go down the hall and into her room before he pulled the door shut to the kitchen, immediately looking down at his phone and dialing a well-known number.

It rang for a bit before a cheerful voice picked up, "Kurt! To what to I owe the pleasure of a phone call on a Tuesday night? Oh, is this about Madeline's first day? Tell me all about it!"

"Rachel–" Kurt tersely stated before she cut him off in her rambling.

"Did she have a good day? Did she make any friends? Or maybe she didn't. Should I tell her all about when I was in school and how people didn't really like me for a while but, hey, it looks like I turned out fine. And I can totally relate to her on the two gay dads thing, if that's what people aren't being nice about–"

"Rachel!" Kurt gruffly barked.

The line was silent for a moment, and Kurt almost liked that less than her chatting his ear off, because now it reminded him of the last phone call he'd been a part of.

Her voice had changed its tone, now to one of caring, as she noticed something was off, "Kurt, is everything okay?"

Kurt sniffed as he tried to hold back more tears, not even knowing how it was possible that he could have so many, "I need you to come watch Maddy."

"Yeah. Yeah, sure. I can be there in 10, 15 minutes," Rachel assured, "Kurt, what's going on?"

He closed his eyes and leaned his head into the cupboards, "Blaine… there's, uh, there's… there's been an accident." His throat was closing up; he was choking on his words.

Kurt immediately heard the sounds of Rachel jolting from wherever she was, grabbing things like keys, judging by the jingling noise they made. He heard the sound of her apartment door shutting behind her.

"Kurt, I'll be there as fast as I can. If you need to leave right now, just ask one of your neighbours to look after her until I get there."

"No, I…" he started, before sobbing around his words, "I don't know where he is. We were on the phone. I don't know what hospital he'd be taken to."

Rachel was quiet, as if for once she wasn't sure how to respond.

"I had to listen to it, Rachel," he cried, "I had to listen to it and, god, I don't know where he is."

"Shhh," she hushed, "You've got to calm down. They'll find a way to call you. He'll find you. He always does."

Kurt's hand came up to wipe at his eyes again, trying to stop the flow of tears, "Rachel, what if he doesn't sur–"

"No. Don't you dare say that," he could hear the rush of New York streets around her, "I've got to get on the subway, and my phone won't work down there. Are you going to be okay until I get there?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "I'll… yeah."

Rachel's voice was confident now, trying to settle her friend even though she was scared for Blaine as well, "Everything's going to be alright."

Kurt sniffed in reply.

"I'll be there really soon, okay?"

"Okay."

She hung up and Kurt pulled the phone away from his ear, dragging his skin and bones over to the table and dropping down into a chair. Blaine's chair. This is where Blaine usually sits.

He placed the phone in front of him, hoping that someone would call. Anyone would call, and tell him that his husband was going to be okay.

The seconds ticked by into minutes. Everything seemed so still around him, but he knew outside the room that life was rushing by. Blaine might be in an ambulance. Blaine might be in surgery. Blaine might be dead.

Kurt could hear Maddy singing quietly down the hall in her room. He felt like she was trying to ease him into normalcy. Trying to block out what might not be normal that he had been dealing with when she left him in the kitchen.

He sat there, listening as she changed through different songs, and waited. Waited for the phone. Waited for Rachel. Everything was waiting now. Even if he was at the hospital, Kurt was sure he'd just be doing more waiting.

It was in his waiting that he heard the front door unlock with the spare key Rachel kept, and heard her enter the apartment, calling out a "Kurt?" as she shut the door behind her.

He couldn't reply though, so he just waited some more. He heard his daughter stop singing at the sound of Rachel's voice and then she went to greet the older woman.

"Aunt Rachel?" Her voice was just outside the kitchen door, in the living room.

Kurt could hear the false cheer in his friend's voice, "Hey Madeline. Do you know where your Daddy is?"

She sounded shy in her response, as if she knew she shouldn't get involved but couldn't help it, "He's in the kitchen," her voice lowered, "I think something's wrong with Papa."

"Everything's alright," Rachel soothed, "why don't you go back to your room for now and I'll come see you in a bit?"

Maddy must have nodded in reply because soon Kurt could hear her trailing away, and the kitchen door was being pushed open by a Broadway star.

"Oh, Kurt," was the first thing she said upon seeing him. She swiftly crossed the room and drew him into her arms.

When she pulled back, she dragged her thumbs under his eyes, clearing away the remaining tears that hadn't dried. Then she ran a hand through his hair, trying to return some order to it. She hadn't looked so worried even when she was waiting to see if she'd be called back after her first big time Broadway audition.

"Has anyone called yet?" She was whispering, being as gentle as she could.

"No," he answered with a gravelly voice, "I don't think they'd have found his phone, it wasn't on him."

Rachel pulled up a chair beside him and sat down, grasping his hand in hers, "Because you were talking?"

Kurt sighed, "He'd have been on his hands-free. He doesn't keep his phone in his pocket when he does that. And the hands-free must have come off and redirected back to the phone in the crash. I think it got destroyed… judging by what I heard."

She clasped his hand even tighter, trying to squeeze some life into him.

It was then that the phone on the table started ringing. They both turned to look at it for a moment before Kurt lunged and choked out a "Hello?"

The voice that answered was female. She somehow managed to sound calm and urgent at the same time, "Hi. Is this Kurt Hummel?"

Kurt replied in the positive, and listened as she proceeded to tell him that Blaine was in the hospital, in surgery, and in critical condition. What Kurt got out of that, though, was that Blaine was alive. He was still alive. While fear still managed to grab hold of him, he felt temporary relief that Blaine had made it out of his car, to the hospital, and to surgery, still alive.

After being told where to go, Kurt hung up the phone and dropped his head into his hands for a moment, needing to calm down before he raced over to the hospital that Blaine was at.

"How did they know who to contact?" Rachel asked.

Kurt gave a watery smile as he reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He then proceeded to rifle through it and pull out a small piece of neon yellow paper.

Written on it in sharpie was: "If lost, please return to Blaine Anderson" and Blaine's cell number.

"He has one with my name and number. We were joking around one night about… 7 years ago? Before we were married," Kurt explained, "and I said that he was a puppy and would get himself lost one day. So I made him one of these, just as a joke. But he said that he'd keep it on him, just in case… And then he made me one. It was silly, but…"

Rachel pulled both of his hands into hers, "It's not silly, Kurt. It's really sweet."

Kurt pulled his hands back and wiped at his eyes again, "I have to go."

"Of course. I'll watch Madeline until you get back. I can get some of our other friends to help if you're there for a long time. Don't worry about her. I'll handle it," Rachel reassured.

Kurt stood from his seat and glanced over at the pot on the stove, "She… she needs some dinner. I never got to…"

"Kurt, I got this. It's okay," Rachel stood next to him and grabbed his shoulders to steady him. "Do you need someone to help get you there?"

His whole body shook with his head, "No, I'm fine… I need to get there now, I just…"

"It's okay," Rachel said as she pulled him into a hug. When she let go she picked his phone up off the table and pressed it into his hand, "Call me. Let me know what's going on."

"Yeah, okay," he muttered as he made his way out of the kitchen, pausing in the doorway and turning towards Maddy's room instead of the front door.

Kurt walked in to see her sitting on her bed. She wasn't drawing anymore, or singing either. She was just sitting there, waiting. He sat down on the bed beside her and pulled her into a hug. She didn't know what was going on, but she knew something was not right.

Kurt whispered into her hair, "I have to go out right now, but Aunt Rachel's going to stay with you. She'll make you some dinner and… she'll probably let you watch any movie you want after you eat."

Maddy had teary eyes as she looked up at him, "Is Papa going to be okay?"

Kurt squeezed his eyes shut in order to hold back the tears, she was always so perceptive, and he gave her a small smile as he responded, "Yeah, everything's going to fine."

She leaned forward, back into the embrace, "I love you, Daddy."

He let out a whoosh of air and cradled her, "I love you, too, sweetie."

"Tell Papa I love him, too."

"I will."

Kurt let her go and passed Rachel in the doorway, who went in to take his place. She squeezed his hand as he passed and he mouthed "Thank you" to her.

He grabbed his jacket and his keys and closed the door behind him as he left, breaking into a run when he hit the streets, with a strangled sob of "Blaine."


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Precious Hummelberry moments are precious. Still dying to know what happens to Blaine. Amnesia, coma, I'm assuming, because of the little snippets at the beginning of the chapters.