I get Blaine up and back into the bedroom, lying on his side on the bed. After some hesitation on my part, he pulls me down so that I’m lying behind him, my chest to his back. I wasn’t sure what he wanted, what he needed, be it space or comfort. I’ve just given him a different perspective to the past five years of his life, at least. He never did tell me how much he lost before the attack.

My head is so filled with everything, but it feels so empty at the same time, replaying our screaming in the living room over and over again, but giving me nothing on how to make it all better. I can’t take everything that happened and make it go away, all I can do is try and make him feel a little better right now.

I twine our fingers and bring them up to his chest, his heart, feeling it pulse against my fingers, allowing the feeling to soothe me and hope that I can help him like this. “If it’s any consolation,” I whisper into his shoulder when I can finally find my voice, “I thank a god I don’t believe in every day for finding you again.”

Blaine doesn’t respond, so I stay quiet. I don’t know what else there is to say right now, more or less speaking when the words come to me. Besides, I don’t know if my words are helping any, he looks like he’s lost in thought enough as it is, his eyebrows drawing in as he stares towards the wall. He starts to shake slightly, just a small rumble under his skin, so I pull him back against me even closer, hoping that he’ll take our bodies pressing close as the comfort I intend.

I know he needs some more explanations, and I want to assure him that I never stopped fighting for him, never stopped hoping I’d get him back, so I keep talking as the words come to me, “I had called home about a month before I ran into you that first time. They said there was no news to give me.”

Blaine still doesn’t speak, and I’m not sure if those were the words he needed or not because he seems so much more lost than he did before. He gently squeezes my hand, and I know it’s okay now, so I keep talking, “I think they just thought it was easier. They figured that I had a life out here and that it would be simpler for you to just start fresh.”

I’m still trying to rationalize their actions, I know they had their reasons, I know they didn’t cut me out for nothing, but I still don’t really know why. I hope that one day I can find out.

“You were my boyfriend, Kurt,” Blaine croaks finally, and my whole body tightens around his on instinct, trying to get rid of the pain that’s bleeding out of his mouth with those words. “We loved each other.”

“I know,” I say softly, trying to answer questions that I don’t know the answers to, trying to be the strong one for Blaine. “I... I don’t know why they did it.”

He sighs and rolls in my arms so that he’s facing me before raising his hand and stroking across my cheek. It’s soothing and I can feel how he cares even if I’m still worried about how everything could easily crash down over us. He leans in and kisses me and it feels like he’s trying to settle my doubts, how he knows just what I need, I don’t know, but I feel my body relax into his and I kiss back. When Blaine pulls back he breathes across my lips, “I trust you.”

All my reservations fly out the window for that moment, my body practically collapsing into his. I feel needy and young, desiring constant confirmation that he’s here with me and that he’s not going anywhere this time. I’m trying to be strong, but all I can feel is fear.

I reach between us and wipe away a tear that’s leaked out of Blaine’s eye, but before I can get there, he catches my hand and presses a kiss into my skin. “Please tell me, though,” he pleads, “tell me about the people I knew and the things that happened.”

I have a sudden idea, and I sit up, pulling him up after me when he lets out a small whine at the loss of body heat. Once we’re seated, I lean back and grab my phone from the pocket of my jeans, which are still sitting on the edge of the bed with the rest of our discarded clothing. I shuffle closer to Blaine, flicking through the pictures on my phone until I find the right one and present it to him, “Here.”

Blaine lets out a breath of startled air when he sees it. It’s a picture of us and the rest of the New Direction kids after our win at Regional’s senior year. I can tell the way his eyes zero in on him and me standing just off centre, holding hands tightly, and grinning for the camera. A sob breaks out of his chest and I rub my hand up his back between his shoulders to comfort him. “Hey, hey. I’ll introduce you to them all.”

So, that’s what I do. Blaine leans into me and rests his head on my shoulder while we go through them. I let him meet all his friends through this picture. Point out Rachel and Quinn, so that he can put a face to the names I’ve given him when talking about my roommate and her “friend.” I talk a little about Quinn’s accident that happened right after that picture was taken. Show him Finn, who Rachel was supposed to marry that night.

We get sidetracked for a moment, talking about marriages, and about us, and my heart hurts because I wanted it with him, and I know that we’re still young, but I’d hoped we’d have plans for it by now. But I kiss his head instead of voicing my pain and tell him that we always said it would be one day. One day could still be any day. Maybe.

Blaine tenses, so we move on. I show him Brittany and Santana, who look happy holding hands. Who finally got together after all that toeing around each other and are now out in Vermont. I tell him about Sugar and her randomness. There’s Tina and Mike, and I explain that they’re here now, but that Mike wasn’t the special guy I ran into before the coffee shop. Tell him that Mike and him became really good friends in high school.

I move on and show him Mercedes and Sam, who are out in California now. And then there’s Puck, who took on Blaine’s attackers and tried to hunt them down in the days and weeks following. I show him Artie and Rory.

When we finish, Blaine’s squeezing his eyes shut and burying his face into me. I know it’s been a lot for him to take in, and it’s hard, but he wanted to know, and he needed to know. These are the things his family kept from him, he had all these friends and he didn’t even know. One day he’ll have to meet them in person, but for now, this picture can show him the past.

I pull the phone out of his hands where he held it so that I could point out who was who, and then I wrap my arms around him and hold him tight, trying to ease some form of comfort into him. He wraps his hands around my waist and suddenly he seems hesitant. I pull back before he can say anything, I’m not ready for him to tell me to go. “It’s going to be okay,” I say, looking into his eyes. “We’ll figure it all out.”

“There’s not much to figure out,” he grumbles, “I’ve lost those years of my life twice.”

I give him a hopeful smile, I know I can help with those years, and I hope he’ll keep me around enough to give him those memories back. “Then I’ll help you rebuild what really happened. I know you Blaine Anderson, we were together for over a year before it all happened. I know things your parents couldn’t tell you even if they had tried,” I say, which causes him to blush and I lift his chin back up so that we’re eye to eye. “Maybe you should call your mom?”

He grumbles a bit and I can tell he doesn’t want to but that he’ll do it anyways. “She’s going to try and either cry her way out of it or spew some bullshit, probably.”

I run my hand over his cheek and lean in for a kiss, which he presses back into. “You’ll have to confront her eventually, why not start now?” I suggest. “Tell you what, I’ll go take a shower, and you can have some privacy.”

Blaine’s eyes go a little dazed as he looks at me and I have to laugh, “I’d invite you to join me, but I think there may be more important things to deal with right now. There’ll be... there’ll be other opportunities.”

He smiles softly and tangles his fingers with mine for a moment to squeeze and then he’s letting go and leaving the room to find his phone and talk to his mother.

I look around at the twisted sheets for a moment before deciding to make a phone call of my own first before I take a shower. I pick up my cell from where I’ve dropped it and find the right contact before bringing it to my ear.

Her voice is tired when she answers, despite the fact that we’re closing in on noon after all that’s happened this morning, “Why are you calling me? Shouldn’t you be enjoying whatever reason it was you didn’t come home last night?”

 “Rachel, I need you to not scream at me or try to... GPS my phone or something,” I say instead of answering her questions.

It’s silent over the line for a little bit before her voice comes back, full of genuine confusion, “Why would I do that?”

I shake my head at the room, “Just promise it.” Rachel has a habit of overreacting, and that’s something I don’t need from her right now. I don’t need her finding a way to track my phone and then showing up at Blaine’s door. He’s already had enough information thrown at him today, an overeager Rachel won’t help things.

“Alright, alright,” she yawns, “I won’t hunt you down. What’s up?”

A deep breath, a press of my lips together, “There’s something I have to tell you.”

I can practically hear her light up through the phone. “Are you finally going to tell me who you’ve been seeing?” she gasps out before the words start to tumble out of her mouth, “Wait! Is there a reason you didn’t tell me? Do I know them? It’s that guy who asked you out last year, isn’t it? Look, I know I said he was cute and flirted with him that night at the bar, but I was just testing him, I swear he had eyes only for y–”

“Rachel.”

“Right, right. Tell me.”

My eyes squeeze together of their own accord, afraid of the truth that I have to tell her. Afraid to share the love of my life with anyone. It’s selfish, but I want to just take him somewhere safe and hide away with him where no one can hurt us like this. “It’s Blaine.”

The line goes silent, and I swear she must have stopped breathing because I can’t hear a thing from her. Which is quite unusual and after almost a full minute of this, I have to prompt her again, “Rachel?”

Her words are careful when she starts speaking again, “What do you mean it’s Blaine?”

I steady myself and then shake my head at the almost absurdity of it all, “I mean, honest to god, straight out of a romance movie, I stumbled upon Blaine Anderson in a coffee shop two months ago.”

 “And you didn’t say anything!?” she shrieks, enough so that I need to pull the phone away from my ear a little to not burst my eardrum.

“I know, I know,” I reply, “That wasn’t the whole story though.”

Rachel keeps talking however, not showing a sign that she heard what I said, “He just showed up? In a coffee shop? Why didn’t anyone call you or, or, he was just there!?” These are questions I’ve been asking myself for the past two months, and I can’t answer her because I don’t really have a good solid answer yet.

“Rachel,” I say, grasping her attention, “He didn’t know who I was.”

“What?” she asks, her voice suddenly quieter, gentler, realizing only now that she’s poking wounds.

I sigh, trying to explain this is complicated even to my own brain. “When he came out of that coma...” I attempt to explain, “he must have lost his memories. He didn’t know me. He didn’t remember McKinley. He got hit in the head enough times that night, it makes sense that those memories would just... disappear.”

Rachel’s voice turns hushed and a little shaky, “Oh, Kurt. He didn’t know who you were?”

“No. But... I don’t know,” I say, shaking my head, trying to make sense of it all. I’ve been trying not to think about it lately, but it’s all there now and I need to get it out. “There was something I guess, that drew him to me. Because he approached me, struck up a conversation with me, asked me out. And then just... everything. I was a stranger to him, but...”

She sighs softly, almost fondly, “So, all this time, this mystery man you’ve been dating... it’s Blaine?”

“Yeah, it’s Blaine,” I respond, my own voice taking on a dreamy quality.

It’s quiet for a while and all I can hear is Rachel’s breath and some shifting sheets through the line. “When did you tell him about all this?” she asks eventually.

I look down at my spare hand which is pulling at the bed sheets, “This morning.”

“You waited that long!?” she practically shouts, and I can hear a small grumble in the background that Rachel tries to subtly shush with a quiet “sorry.”

I ignore what Rachel’s hiding because we’re talking about what I’ve been hiding right now, we’ll get to her after. “I didn’t want to scare him off,” I admit, “I just wanted to have him and be happy. I knew all this drama would start once he found out, but... now he knows.”

To be honest, I’m terrified that he knows now. So many things could change, things could go very wrong now that he knows I’ve been hiding all this from him. Blaine’s scared now himself, he’s got so many questions and I’m sure he’s full to the brim with anger towards his parents, but once all that settles, where will that leave us?

Rachel seems to sense my uneasiness, “He knows... Is anything different?”

 “I don’t know yet, to be honest,” I shake my head, “I mean... I think it’s all going to be okay, but now he’s got all this information and his parents, god, his parents, he’s so angry with them. I don’t think he’s angry with me for not saying anything but...”

“But you’re still worried.”

 “Yeah.”

“Go back to him then, figure it out,” she suggests so easily, like it’s just that simple. Like there’s nothing to be worried about.

I start to chew at my bottom lip. “What if he wants me to leave? Rachel, I can’t do that. I can’t. It’ll kill me. I couldn’t lose him again.”

She lets out a small huff of disbelieving laughter, “Kurt... if he’s anything like the Blaine from high school, there’s no keeping him from you.” There’s a smile in her voice, I can hear it. “I mean, look around. I don’t know if there’s anything that can keep you apart. You and Blaine, you’re like... soulmates. Like you were made specifically for each other. I don’t think you have anything to be worried about.”

My lips twitch with a relieved smile. Rachel doesn’t know everything, but I feel like I can believe her for this. “Thanks, Rachel.”

“Now, go get him,” she laughs lightly, “Life tore you apart before, now don’t you dare let go.”

I laugh in return, I’m not sure why, but I feel so much freer now that I’m not keeping this secret alone, not that Rachel knows too. “Okay. And you, missy,” I start, feeling like now’s as good a time as any, “now that we’ve talked about this, you should have a good time with Quinn, and then you should stop lying to me about you two.”

“Wh-what?” she stammered, completely flustered all of a sudden, like she doesn’t know that it gives her away so easily to when she’s caught off guard in a lie. “There’s nothing going on there, what are you talking about, I’m perfectly capable of keeping friends you know, who are friends, wow Kurt, just, wow. There’s nothing going on there. Quinn and I are not together like that. No, Kurt. No.”

I grin, “Yeah, sure. Bye, Rachel.”

I start to pull the phone away, Rachel’s voice firmly stating, “There’s nothing happening between me and Quinn!” ringing in my ear.

In the background, however, I hear the girl in question’s tired voice, “Would you just shut up and tell him already? You’re acting like he hasn’t known for a while,” before I hit the end button and smile down at my feet where they’re curled up on the bed.

I get up and pad down the hall towards the washroom, overhearing Blaine’s conversation a bit as I pass. I don’t linger long enough to hear what they’re talking about, but Blaine sounds frustrated and I want to go in there and wrap my arms around him, protect him, take away all the bad things that have happened.

While I’m in the shower, I start thinking about everything’s that’s happened recently. Think and wonder about those five years, at what was happening for Blaine, what his parents were thinking. I know what it was like on my end, I know what it was like to lose him and then not know what was going on, I know what it was like for our friends who hurt as well from it, but I don’t know what it was like for him. Waking up and having no one from before except your family. Having no friends, no loved ones who weren’t blood to welcome you back. By the time I’m towelling off my hair and pulling Blaine’s sweatpants back on, my head’s run so many laps around these thoughts that I’m starting to get dizzy.

I move back out to the hall, wondering if Blaine’s finished his phone call by now, wondering if he’s made any kind of progress with his mother. He’s still talking though, when I peek my head around the corner into the kitchen, wondering if he’d like me to stay out of the room while he talks.

He beckons me in with the crook of his finger and shifts his body to face me while he keeps talking to his mother. When he mentions a “he” who could never move on, it occurs to me that I’m the topic of discussion. I move in closer and smooth my hands over his shoulders, trying to instil some form or courage or comfort into his body through the skin to skin contact. He reaches around me with his free hand, holding me close and I place a kiss to his hairline before he drops it to lean against me.

I can hear his mother’s high voice through the line, not clear, but she sounds distressed. When she stops, Blaine makes a small agreeing noise and then her voice starts up again, higher, almost hopeful.

Blaine looks up at me suddenly, the honey-hazel of his eyes a little dazed and he looks like he’s here with me more than he is on the phone with his mother. “I’ll come back to Ohio for a bit,” he says into the phone, his eyes still trained on me, trusting and full of wonder, “but I’m already home.” And then he hangs up, dropping the phone onto the counter.

I offer a small amused smile and he drops his head with a small groan, “That may have been a bit rude.”

“Just a bit,” I reply, knowing that he deserves the chance to be a little rude before anyone really calls him on it. Blaine’s straightened up in the kitchen, so the stool that was on the other side last night is now on this side. I reach out and pull it closer, sitting close in front of Blaine so that I can alternate my knees with his.

“I meant it though,” he whispers, and it’s so soft and delicate that it almost startles me. I was expecting anger and frustration, not this gentle man. He looks up and takes my hands in his. “I feel like I’m home with you.”

My heart does a few back flips in my chest and I raise our hands to my lips, pressing a kiss into the backs of his, closing my eyes and nuzzling into them. “You haven’t changed a bit, you know that?” I say, “Just as effortlessly romantic as always.”

Blaine smiles and pulls our hands back into his lap, leaning forward to kiss me. Everything feels so right, feels like before, feels like everything can be okay. There’s a smile on my lips when we pull back.

Despite how everything feels so right, there’s still that lingering doubt, that feeling that he’s going to find some reason to walk away and push me out. “Have you figured out what you’re going to do?”

He looks confused, “What do you mean?”

“Well, you have all this new information. What are you going to do with it?”

He looks away and fear takes root in my stomach. I’ve been trying so hard not to panic, not to overthink this like I usually do with everything, but while I’m staring at the side of his jaw, his eyebrows furrowed slightly in thought, I’m sure that he’s trying to figure out how to let me down easy. He parts his lips and I force myself to listen before I freak out completely. “I guess I’ll try to get in contact with some of the people I knew. Let them know I’m okay. I could use your help with that.”

He’s said he could use my help, but I’m still not sure if he wants me here like this. There’s a voice in the back of my head telling me that I’m being ridiculous, but I can’t help it, I need him, and I need to know if he needs me too.

He smiles, his eyes dazzling and dancing. “I’m not going anywhere, you know,” he says, and my eyes widen, I haven’t been as stealthy in my panic as I thought, before I realize what he’s said and my mouth starts to curve into a smile. “I still want you here. Home, remember?”

I could laugh, but I’m so nervous. He’s said these words now, but I’m still afraid he could leave me. “I know, I just thought that... that after learning all this...”

Blaine pulls our hands up to his chest, right over his still beating heart; the thing I feared for five years had stopped. He catches my eye and his own are sparkling and so earnest. “Kurt,” he says softly but firmly, “I... I love you.” For a second I feel like my entire existence has stopped before it instantly comes back into life, more so than before, reignited by the look of adoration in Blaine’s face. “Not because I did before, but because I love you now.”

He loves me, he loves me, he loves me. I feel my face light up in response to his words, to the gentle offering of his heart. I dip my head down, feeling shy although he must know, “I still love you from before.”

I peek a look at him and he looks like he was just awarded some beautiful prize, how doesn’t he know that he always had my heart? When he was off in Ohio getting better and didn’t even know who I was, he had my heart. “I think that I would too,” he says, and I look back up fully, “if I could remember any of it. Maybe that’s why I always felt so different around you. I always knew there was something about you.”

I dart forward and kiss him, hope to let him know that the thought that he wishes he could have loved me the entire time, the thought that somehow we’re still connected, makes me happier than I ever thought I could be. When I pull back I simply take in his face and the joy on it. “But I love you from now, as well,” I add, letting him know that it’s not just then that I love, it’s not just the past versions of him, but the present as well. I love him, I love him, I love him.

“Then please return the favour,” he pleads, “Tell me you’re not going anywhere.”

I laugh because the question is absurd. How could I leave him? I slide forward of the stool and stand between his legs. “I’m not going anywhere,” I assure with a smile on my face, this is what happiness feels like, “Not without you.”

Blaine laughs out a “good” and slides off his stool to join me. This is what joy feels like. This is what getting everything you ever wanted feels like. Blaine’s arguments with his mother and my conversation with Rachel are far in the past. Right now, it’s Blaine and me, and that’s all, and that’s what happiness is.

I run my hands up his back and he in turn wraps his arms around my waist. I lean in quickly, brushing past his ear to whisper, “I love you, Blaine,” before coming back up, biting my bottom lip through a smile. I feel giddy and alive, getting to have this with Blaine again, to not be afraid to say the wrong thing or scare him off.

He reaches up and smoothes his palm over my cheek, “I love you, too, Kurt.” He presses in for a kiss and we’re both smiling. This is joy and elation and love. Pure love. I had wished and wished to have him back, but after five years, I got it in my head that it was never going to happen. But here he is, and he’s mine again and he loves me and I love him and isn’t that all the world ever needed?

“Guess it’s some kind of fate, huh?” he asks as I pull back, grasping his hand and pulling him from the kitchen and into the hall.

“I don’t care what it is,” I say, “as long as I get to keep you around this time.” And then we’re kissing, giggling through it, and stumbling into the bedroom.

This is happiness.

This is love.

_

_

Blaine meets Rachel and Quinn the next weekend. Rachel squeals when she sees him and then starts crying, Kurt can tell he doesn’t really know what to do with it. Quinn just smiles around the tears in her eyes and pulls him into a lengthy hug before they escape her eyes. “I’m so glad you’re back,” she says, her voice trembling.

Kurt and Blaine pay a surprise visit to Tina and Mike one evening in the following week. Kurt called ahead and said he’d be stopping by, but they didn’t know he was bringing anyone. Tina nearly passes out in the doorway and Mike runs up to find out what’s wrong and then spends close to two minutes simply standing and staring at Blaine before he lets out a wet laugh and wraps his arms around the shorter man.

Santana and Brittany show up at Kurt ‘s door a couple days after that, looking for Quinn and Rachel since they hardly spend any time apart anymore since finally letting people know they’re together, but they weren’t expecting Blaine to answer the door. Santana sputters for a moment before choking out “Damn, Anderson,” and then hugs him. Brittany squeals the moment Santana lets go and practically leaps into his arms, declaring, “I knew you’d find your way back to us!”

Kurt skypes Mercedes and Sam in California one night and tells them he has a surprise for them. Mercedes shouts in her shock when he pulls Blaine into the frame and Sam laughs with relief.

Kurt calls his dad a week into August and tells him that he’s coming home for a visit later that month and that he’s got something to show him. Tells Burt that he should get Finn to come over as well and get Puck to come into town. His dad doesn’t understand, but he agrees anyways, and they set a date for a party of sorts. When Burt opens the door in the last week of August he looks between Kurt and Blaine for a minute before he starts crying and hugs both his boys. Carole does the same when she joins them.

When Finn sees Blaine his eyes almost bug out of his head and he literally shouts Blaine’s name before pulling him into a crushing hug. Behind Finn, Kurt notes Puck start crying through a smile before he can try and discreetly wipe away his tears. When Finn lets go of Blaine, Puck laughs to cover his tears and high-fives him, says, “Always hoped you get back in our lives, man.”

The next day they go visit The Andersons, and Blaine holds Kurt’s hand while he cries and yells. His parents look shame-faced throughout the whole exchange and before Kurt and Blaine leave, they bring a few boxes out of the attic and tell Blaine that everything is in them. Back in the car, parked a few blocks down the road, Blaine cries when he pulls out framed pictures of him and Kurt, him and his friends. Cries when he pulls out love notes and gifts, when he pulls out something wrapped up that he must have bought for Kurt for his graduation that never made it to his boyfriend. Kurt unwraps it and finds a letter and a ring, a real promise ring, the note says, one not made out of candy and gum wrappers. The letter is signed with I love you, always. Blaine.

Blaine kisses Kurt right there in Lima, Ohio, a few blocks away from the people who tore his memories away from him for the second time, pushes the ring onto Kurt’s finger and swears, “I love you so much. One day, one day it won’t be a promise ring, one day it’ll be a wedding ring.”

They laugh a little through their tears and this is what it all comes down to: love. The kind that they both know can carry through even the worst of situations. The kind they know they’ll always have.

Without anything else, they’ll always have love, and isn’t that enough?