June 29, 2012, 2:49 p.m.
Emergency Exit: I Want A Way Out
Left Picking Up the Pieces: Not So Good Morning
E - Words: 1,232 - Last Updated: Jun 29, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 31/31 - Created: Jun 19, 2012 - Updated: Jun 29, 2012 379 0 2 0 0
“Breakfast!” Carole called from downstairs.
Blaine sat on the edge of the bed as Kurt found a shirt to cover his cuts and ribcage.
“Don’t you feel a little bad having to hide this from them?” He asked. He didn’t ask it to upset or offend Kurt but maybe to stir the pot a little to get Kurt thinking that what he’s doing was wrong.
Of course Kurt didn’t see it that way, “What do you mean? I don’t want them to know because I don’t want them to worry. I’m just looking out for them. I don’t want to hurt them you know. And I didn’t want to hurt you either, I’m sorry you found out.” Kurt said feeling guilty.
But guilty for a wrong reason.
“What about hurting yourself Kurt? Don’t you think about what this is doing to you?” Blaine asked concerned.
“How am I hurting myself?” Kurt asked.
“Never mind, we’ll talk about it later.” Blaine sighed.
Everything would be resolved later.
After breakfast.
“Come on sweetie.” Blaine said kissing Kurt’s cheek and grabbing his hand in his.
Blaine led Kurt down the stairs and pulled out his chair for him allowing him to sit down.
“Breakfast smells lovely Carole” Blaine said politely.
“Why thank you sweetheart.” She smiled.
Burt had already been seated at the kitchen table next to Carole and began to talk
“So how are you?” He asked looking at Kurt.
“I’m good, and yourself?” Kurt smiled fakely.
“That’s good.” Burt said looking at Blaine with a questioning express that gave off the sentiment of is he telling the truth or should I be worried? Blaine just shook his head sadly. “I’m fine thank you for asking.” Burt finished.
“That’s good, I’m glad.” Kurt said.
Finn then came down the stairs and seated himself at the table.
After everyone was seated they began passing around plates of eggs and bacon and pancakes and everything imaginable. There was so much food and what did Kurt have?
Toast.
With no butter.
Plain old toast.
That he only nibbled on.
Yeah things were not okay.
“Hey Kurt, why don’t you eat something.” Blaine suggested. Reassuringly squeezing his thigh under the table so that he knew he’d meant it was love and concern.
“I’m not all that hungry this morning, but thank you.” Kurt said turning to look at Blaine.
“Are you sure? These pancakes are pretty awesome.” Blaine said holding up his fork for Kurt to take a bite.
“I said no thank you Blaine.” Kurt said a little coldly this time.
“Kurt is there something wrong?” Carole asked worried now.
“No, not at all.” Kurt smiled again but they could see right through it.
“Kurt.” Burt said in a warning yet questioning tone.
“I’m just not hungry.” He said quietly.
The way Blaine looked at him when he said this was just unnerving, something was definitely wrong.
“Kurt, eat your food. Please? Please babe, will you just eat something? Please?” Blaine begged cupping Kurt’s face with his hand.
“I’m sorry Blaine.” Kurt whispered.
“Kurt what’s wrong?” Carole asked.
“Nothing, it’s fine, I’m fine, and everything is fine.” Kurt said nervously.
“Blaine?” Burt asked.
“Kurt, please tell them. If you don’t tell them yourself you will leave me with no other choice then to tell them myself. I was going to after breakfast anyway, but why don’t you tell them now.” Blaine suggested.
“Tell us what Kurt?” Burt asked now confused.
Kurt just shook his head and looked pleadingly at his boyfriend.
Blaine wasn’t sure if Kurt was pleading for him to keep his secret or to tell them.
He looked at Kurt for some clarification and Kurt just mouthed tell them please.
“Kurt’s not eating.” Blaine said softly.
“Yeah, he’s not hungry. We discussed this.” Finn said confused.
“No, he’s not eating as in he’s starving himself. His depression and anxiety has gotten much worse as well. I’m really worried about him, and he’s been cutting again. Right Kurt?” Blaine said sadly.
“Oh Kurt.” Carole sighed.
“Kurt why?” Burt asked.
“Do you think if I fucking knew why I’d be doing it? I’m messed up okay? I like cutting; it makes me feel better. I get really depressed and anxious and I like to cut to calm me down. It just feels so good. It really helps okay? And the not eating is because I don’t want to eat. Not only do I not want to eat I want to be skinnier. I know I can never be perfect but what’s the harm in trying? I don’t see what’s wrong here.” Kurt replied.
“Kurt, cutting yourself and starving yourself is wrong. How can you not see that? Kurt we love you and you’re going to get help. You’ll get better I promise.” Burt sighed.
“I don’t need help.” Kurt said quietly.
“Yes you do, love.” Blaine said patting his thigh with his hand under the table for reassurance. “Your depression is getting much worse and you need help.” Blaine finished.
“I’m handling it well though. Whenever I feel sad, I cut and then I feel better. I’m taking care of it.” Kurt replied looking into Blaine’s worried eyes.
“Kurt, cutting is not a solution to your problems. It’s not a way that you should use to cope with your problems. Cutting is one of your problems. We just want to help you Kurt.” Blaine said pulling Kurt into an embrace to show comfort.
“And let’s talk about this not eating thing. What's that about?” Burt asked.
“I don’t want to eat.” Kurt replied.
“There has to be more than that.” Burt answered.
“Okay fine. I’m fat, I look in the mirror and I’m disgusted with what I see. If I can’t love myself how can other people? I just want to look better. Is a little diet really such a big problem?” Kurt replied.
“It’s a problem when you haven’t eaten a real meal in months.” Blaine answered him.
“Dude you’re the skinniest person I know. The cheerios wish they could look as good as you. You don’t want to be this skinny, you’re like too skinny.” Finn added.
“You can never be too skinny Finn.” Kurt laughed.
“I don’t understand how you can’t see this. But you are all skin and bones. It’s not healthy. How much do you weigh?” Blaine asked.
“Ugghh the scale. I hate that thing. As of yesterday I’m 90 pounds. Why? Gonna make fun of me?” Kurt answered.
“90 fucking pounds?!? Kurt that’s really unhealthy.” Blaine said sadly.
“Dude! Shut up that’s like less than half of me!” Finn added.
“Kurt you need help.” Carole sighed
“Please eat something.” Blaine begged him.
“I don’t want anything!” Kurt raised his voice a little bit and stood up. He through his half eaten piece of toast in the trash and put his plate in the sink. He grabbed his car keys off the counter and stormed out of the house.
“Kurt where are you going?” Burt asked. Not in a mad tone, more in a worried voice.
“I don’t know.” He replied before hoping in the car.
“Blaine go with him. Bring him back home around noon-ish and we’ll be ready for the intervention.” Finn told Blaine.
“Okay I’m going.” He replied.
“Hey Kurt! Wait up! I’m coming with you!” Blaine yelled as he made his way to the driveway.
Comments
Yikes is he ever messed in the head. :s good chapter
Thanks