“Good morning Kurt. How are you doing today?” Doctor Jessica asked cheerfully as he entered the room.

“Hello Doctor Jessica.” He greeted. “I’m not doing so good.” He sighed.

“Well come on in and have a seat and we can talk about it.” She said gesturing to the sofa across the room.

Kurt sat down and instantly began to talk.

“This morning, I didn’t know where I was and then I panicked. And then when I remembered where I was I panicked. And then I tried to cut but I couldn’t find anything to cut with so I got more upset. And then I settled on using the key to the room but Holden stopped me. I guess I’m glad he stopped me because we talked and he reminded me that I’m here to get help and stuff, but then I just worry and get more anxious because like I’m really dependant on cutting. I’m not sure how I let it get out of hand and I really have a problem. Just sitting here I feel overwhelmed, I feel like I need to cut.” Kurt said all at once.

“Before I analyze what you just said where is your key?” Doctor Jessica asked carefully.

“Holden took it. He says I can’t have it back until I can ‘handle it’.” Kurt laughed.

“Okay good. That was smart of him.” Doctor Jessica let out a sigh of relief.

“Now Kurt, you have a serious anxiety disorder. Of course things will trigger ‘panic attacks’. We can provide medicine to keep you calm, but other than that I think your problem is just finding a better way to cope with it. What do you do when you usually feel anxious or depressed?”

“I cut.” He answered sadly.

“And what do you do in lieu of cutting?” She asked.

“Sometimes I sing.” He answered flatly.

“Is singing helpful?” She asked.

“It used to be, but not really anymore.” He answered.

“Well why don’t we have you try different means of coping. They can be like little hobbies or activities. Something that will calm you down. It would have the same mentality affect as cutting, but it would be safe and stable.” She suggested.

“I’m willing to try anything.” Kurt sighed.

“Okay, very good.” She smiled. “Would you like to talk about why you snapped when you finally remembered why you were here?” She asked.

Kurt knew she wasn’t really asking per se. She was politely telling him to go on. And he wasn’t going to fight it so he spoke.

“Well it dawned on me that I’m fucking crazy and that I’m practically in a mental institution. And it just scared me.” He explained.

Doctor Jessica thought he may go on, but when he didn’t she spoke up.

“I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that you’re normal. Because right now you are mentally unhealthy. This is not a mental institution Kurt. You are here willingly and you are trying to get better. You’re not a crazy person, you are just going through a lot right now. Sometimes it gets hard, but I think you are strong enough to deal with it. And not deal with it in they way you have been. But in a more constructive way. There are so many people that love you Kurt and they don’t think you’re crazy.” She said calmly.

“Okay.” Was all he could say.

“I will talk to Doctor Andrews about increasing your dosage of antianxiety meds, but you need to know that if you ever feel like you did this morning you need to come to us. Try talking to someone or doing something constructive, but don’t turn to harming yourself.” She said sternly.

“Okay. Thank you.”

“Unless you have any additional questions, your session is over and you are free to go.” She said sweetly.

“I don’t have any more wuestions. Thank you.” Kurt said and left the room.

Kurt understood what Doctor Jessica was telling him.

It had been what everyone always told him.

‘Find something else as a way of coping’

Well nothing seemed to work as well as cutting.

But this time he’d try.

He’d try anything.

All he wanted was to be better.

Kurt walked into the cafeteria and found his new friends sitting at the same table as yesterday chatting.

“Hey Kurt!” Bethany said cheerfully.

“Hi Beth, hi guys.” Kurt replied before sitting down next to Kim.

Kim and Holden just looked up and smiled, Holden blushing a little bit.

“What were you guys talking about?” Kurt questioned.

“Holden here was just fangirling over how you’re boyfriend sings like a dream.” Bethany laughed.

Kurt smiled as Holden sank further into his chair.

“What? Blake was amazing!” Holden replied.

“Blaine is pretty amazing.” Kurt said emphasizing the name. “He’s the lead singer in his school’s glee club. Do you guys know what a glee club is?”

“Yeah, there like those choir groups that competes. Right?” Kim answered.

“Yeah that’s right. He’s the lead singerand he’s amazing.” Kurt said dreamily.

“He was really good. And he seemed pretty nice.” Holden said.

“He’s the nicest person ever.” Kurt beamed.

“Aww” The girls cooed.

“At first I thought he was a tool because he defined himself as, what was it? Oh yeah. He called himself your ‘supermegafoxyawesomehot boyfriend’ so I was like full of yourself much, but he seemed nice.” Holden said a little snarkily.

“He was only kidding because he felt threatened.” Kurt laughed.

“Threatened by what?” Kim asked.

“He’s just the overprotective boyfriend is all.” Kurt laughed.

“Worried someone’s gonna snatch you up?” Bethany laughed.

“Yeah like anyone would want this.” Kurt laughed gesturing to himself. “I should be more worried about him. He’s on the outside and fucking gorgeous.” Kurt laughed.

“fucking gorgous huh?” Bethany asked excitedly.

“You got that right.” Kurt smiled.

They all just laughed and carried on for awhile until lunch.

“No thank you, I’m not hungry.” Kurt smiled fakely as Holden offered lunch.

They seemed to buy it because everyone just picked up their conversation and carried on.

Kurt knew he should probably eat…

But he chose against it.

Solve one problem at a time, right?