Getting You the Help You Need
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Emergency Exit: I Want A Way Out

Getting You the Help You Need: Ending This Right Here


E - Words: 1,752 - Last Updated: Jul 08, 2012
Story: Complete - Chapters: 30/30 - Created: Jun 29, 2012 - Updated: Jul 08, 2012
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Author's Notes: WARNINGS: LANGUAGE. ABUSE. RAPE. SELF HARM. ATTEMPTED SUICIDE.Last chapter of this story, the next story for this series shall be posted shortly. Right after I write it...Anyway, I'm not sure what to say about this chapter. Don't hate me okay?

“Hey Dave, can I talk to you for a minute?” Holden asked nervously when he sat down across from him in the cafeteria.

On the way over he had so much confidence about how he was going to approach him, now he was completely shaken. Maybe he was wrong in talking to Dave.

But Kurt.

Oh poor, sweet, Kurt. Being threatened and confronted by someone who caused him so much pain, in a place where he thought he was safe.

He needed to talk to Dave.

“Sure thing Holden.” Dave said sweetly. “What did you want to talk about?” He asked.

Okay Holden, play it cool. “So I know you went to school with Kurt.” He started.

“What about Hummel?! Did he say something to you!??” Dave asked angrily.

“No, he didn’t tell me anything. I just heard him over the phone talking to Blaine and I was just wondering-” Holden began.

“Mind your own damn business!” Dave cut him off.

Holden was about to speak again but Dave just stood up and walked away.

 

“Hummel!” Karofsky yelled as he approached his room.

“What do you want Karofsky?” Kurt asked.

“I told you not to fucking tell anyone!” Karofsky yelled.

Kurt immediately started backing up and ran into the bathroom where he could lock the door and wait for someone to help him.

And his plan would have worked out perfectly too had Karofsky not managed to follow him in.

He threw Kurt against the wall, smashing his head into the mirror causing it to shatter.

Kurt mumbled something about seven years if bad luck before he was silenced by Karofsky’s lips on his.

Kurt tried to scream but the noise was stifled and allowed Karofsky to force his tongue into Kurt’s mouth.

Kurt bite down on Karofsky’s tongue and made a run for it, only to be stopped by Karofsky’s arms around his waist.

Karofsky backed away and shut and locked the door.

He beat Kurt senseless and pushed him on to the bed.

Kurt had already blacked out, but Karofsky was mad. He rolled Kurt over and yanked down his pants.

He forced himself onto him, practically ripping him open, pounding into him harder and harder with every thrust as he came closer to his climax.

Even though Kurt was unconscious, he was still tight around Karofsky and that was all he needed.

Karofsky came hard inside Kurt and once he was finished having his way with him he left.

 

Eight hours later Kurt woke up, his body engulfed in pain. There was blood everywhere. Blood and something else…and suddenly everything that had happened to him flooded over him and he felt sick.

He ran to the bathroom and emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet. It hadn’t been a lot. He hadn’t eaten since the day Karofsky showed up here, and even before that he was eating very little.

After the nausea had passed he stood up to take a look in the mirror to examin the damage. However, the mirror was shattered and broken pieces and shards of glass littered the floor.

He bent down to pick up some of the pieces and one pricked his finger.

Blood.

He knew what he wanted to do.

But before he could go through with that he needed to make a phone call.

He knew Blaine would still be at Warblers practice and wouldn’t pick up, but in reality this was perfect.

“Hello you have reached Blaine Anderson, I’m sorry I was not able to come to the phone, but if you leave your name, number, and a brief message, I will be sure to call you back.” Blaine’s cheerful voice echoed in Kurt’s ear.

“Um hi Blaine. This is Kurt. I love you, okay? So I know I’d never say goodbye to you. But Well I guess what I’m trying to say is. G-goodbye.” Kurt hung up the phone and cried.

So much fear, so much emotion, so much stress, so much of everything. And he was done. Kurt Hummel had contemplated giving up before, but this time he meant it. He was completely and utterly done.

He just could not take it anymore. Done. Done. Done.

He dried his tears and grabbed his iPod. He wasn’t as dramatic as Rachel who had picked out a song she’d sing at her own funeral, but he definitely had a song that fit how he was feeling.

He sat the iPod on the edge of the sink and locked the door behind him. He picked up what looked to be the sharpest piece of the broken glass and hit play on his iPod.

 

I’m going through changes. I’m going through changes…

Kurt cut his arm and watched the blood run freely out of the wound. It was a deep cut, but he know he needed it deeper.

Feel like I’m losin’ control of myself. I sincerely apologize if all that I sound like is I’m complainin’ but life keeps on complicatin’

He cut again deeper and closer to his wrist.

And I’m debatin’ on leavin’ this world this evenin’. Even my girls can see I’m grievin’

Oh there was no debating, he was leaving now. He cut aggressively over his wrist slicing the veins and tendons.

I try and hide it but I can’t, why do I act like I’m all high and mighty when inside I’m dyin’. I am finally realizin’ I need help, can’t do it myself.

Too weak.

He was too weak. Look at him taking the easy way out. He was so mad at himself he sliced deeply across his entire chest and torso and watched as the blood poured out.

Two weeks I’ve been havin’ ups and downs goin’ through peaks and valleys dilly dallyin’ round of ending this shit right here.

It was time to end this shit. The tendons cut in his left arm made it near impossibly to hold the glass so when he tried cutting his right arm the cuts were jagged and deeper slicing nearly every vein in one quick motion.

I’m hatin’ my reflection, I walk around the house tryin’ fight mirrors. I can’t fight what I look like yeah. I look fat, but do I care? I give a fuck only thing I fear is Hailie, I’m afraid if I close my eyes I might see her. Shit…

He was covered in blood, but he didn’t care what he looked like. For once in his life Kurt Hummel didn’t care what he looked like. That would have been a big deal had his life not been almost over in a matter of minutes.

I’m going through changes. I’m going through changes…

Kurt was dizzy and light headed, not only from the beating he’d just received but also from the loss of blood. He kept trying to think back to health class and remember how long it takes a person to bleed to death but his mind was blurring.

I lock myself in the bedroom, bathroom nappin’ at noon. Yeah, dad’s in a bad mood, he’s always snappin’ at you.

Kurt was just so done. So done. He’s tired of feeling like this. He repeatedly cut lines over his entire body hoping to let out all the blood as possible.

Marshall, what happened to you? Can’t stop with these pills and you fallin’ off with yer skills and your own fans laughin’ at you?

What had happened to him? How did it get like this?

It becomes a problem you’re too pussy to tackle. Get up, be a man stand a real man would have had this shit handled.

He certainly was taking the cowardly way out. But in his mind it seemed like the only way out. He wasn’t strong enough to face his problems head on, so why not just end them?

But dwellin’ only makes the night worse. Now I’m pippin’ Vic’s Perc’s and Methadone pills.

He didn’t even care, I mean he didn’t want to dwell on what his family or friends or Blaine might think. This is how he saw it, he needed to escape. He needed a way out pronto. This is what he needed, it didn’t matter what they thought.

I’m going through changes. I’m going through changes…

They just wouldn’t understand what’s going on with him lately. It was too much for even him to understand.

Don’t know what I’m gonna do but I just keep on goin’ through changes.

So he might as well just end it all.

My friends can’t understand this new me, that’s understandable.

Still cutting the remaining expanse of flesh he thought to himself, could they ever understand?

Man but think how bananas you’d be, you’d be an animal too if you were trapped in this fame and caged in it like a zoo and everybody’s lookin’ at you. What you want me to do I’m starting to live like a recluse.

He was depressed and suicidal, with a shit load of other mental problems too. Not to mention the stress added on to the equation by what Karofsky had done twice now. Twice. He cut deeper into his skin twisting the glass around so it stung greater and more blood gushed out.

And it hurts so I, fast forward sleeping pills will make me feel alright. And if I’m still awake in the middle of the night, I’ll just take a couple more, yeah you’re mother fuckin’ right.

Just. End. It. All. Kurt thought to himself as he took the glass and started cutting deeply into his neck.

I ain’t slowin’ down for no one, I am almost homeward bound. Almost in a coma yeah, homie come one dole ‘em out.

He was drenched in blood now and he collapsed to the ground hitting his head with a thud.

Daddy don’t you die on me, Daddy better hold your ground. Fuck, don’t I know the sound of that voice, yeah baby hold me down.

As he lay their drifting in and out of consciousness the only thought racing through his mind was Blaine.

I’m going through changes. I’m going through changes…

Even if Kurt hadn’t decided to end it all, Blaine surely wouldn’t have stayed. Kurt said he could handle himself, guess he couldn’t. Blaine would just say I told you so and leave.

Don’t know what I’m gonna do but I just keep on goin’ through changes.

Would he? It doesn’t matter now. He decided as blackness consumed him. 

End Notes: Dun dun dun. The end.Okay, well then. Um I'm so sorry!!!! :( The next story in this series shall be up tonight.*The song in the background was: Going Through Changes by Eminem. Cough cough. No spoliers or anything...but if you've ever heard this song he lives in the end. Cough cough.The next story will be called: 'I'll Never Say Goodbye To You' so keep an eye out for it in the next half an hour or so.

Comments

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oh my fucking god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!please write this chapter tonight! IM GONNA CRY!!!!!!!!!! NOOO KURT~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~LET HIM LIVE~!

Not going to say anything, but if you'll notice in the category section you will see that 'character death' is not listed. So from that you can imply? Plus I love Kurt waaaayyyyy too much.

DONT LET HIM DIE! I WONT BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT! :((((((((((((

I WHAT?!?! I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID THIS NOT GON BE GOOD! SITTING HERE SOBBING ;__;

Oh god, we'd hate that now wouldn't we :p OF COURSE HE LIVES!!!! silly fool, thinking I wouldn't make Kurt live. What do you think I am heartless?

I hope you know that you basically brought me to tears!!!!! I hate Karofsky with all of my heart. I did have to skim a little because I can't stand blood it makes me very neseaus but still... I hate it when shit has to get real :'( on your comment HE BETTER LIVE BECAUSE BY KILLING HIMSELF HED BE KILLING BLAINE AND KILLING BLAINE WOULD BE KILLING ME!!!!! Oh boy im over dramatic!

Awwwh sorry to make you cry :( I hope you like the story though :) Thank you so much for reading and commenting! It means so much!

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod. ;A; All my tears, that was so sad, instantly continuing!!

Poor Kurt T_T *Snuggles Kurtie* I'm not sure how realistic his cutting was here but that's ok. =)