Lost Boys

A leafless tree branch gently taps and scratches against the window. Under the cold blue moonlight the asymmetrically piece of wood looks anything but harmless. By the guidance of soft midnight breezes the looming object has the appearance of a deformed hand with long sharp finger nails. As if derived from an old childrens story, the sprawling shadow slowly creeps across the bedroom floor in synchrony with the movements of the earth and its alignment with the moon. Minute by minute, turn by turn, the persistent shadow tantalizingly inches closer and closer to me - the lone occupant in this bedroom.

I wasnt always like this: afraid of childish fears and unexplainable mysteries. Ive slept and lived in this bedroom for almost sixteen years and Im just now acknowledging these sounds as sinister and seeing these shadows as a preamble to horror.

Ive always been a practical child who wasnt outwitted by basic logic or scared by fictitious characters such the boogieman. My father used to joke and say that my love for the natural sciences has desensitized me to traditional psychological horrors. In return I would disagree and say that I wasnt fearless, but rather I was wise enough to identify people or things that can hurt me from something that is relatively harmless. This basic knowledge in combination with small amounts of intelligence suggest that branches scratching against a window cannot hurt me, and odd shaped shadows can disappear with the flick of a flashlight. 

The reasons why Im awake now with my eyes peeking over my bedcovers is not due to these elementary storybook fears. Of course not, I just explained - the basic effects of winds and lights cannot hurt me. What can hurt me, however, is the strange boy who flies through my bedroom window at night. It is always the same, he taps on the glass with a secret knock. On cue with the knock a commanding sense of power or magic unlocks the window and pushes the frame inwards. It may be in the middle of August, but the opening of the window unleashes blistering cold winter winds that rapidly shuffles my bedroom curtains with forced gusts.

Or at least, this has been the pattern for the past three nights.

I want to pretend and believe that this boy is not real, or at least nothing more than the result of a hyperactive imagination. Unfortunately I cant. This boy, Blaine is his name, has permanently stained my mind with his image and he has bruised my skin with his hands and lips. Even when he is gone and the morning light is at its brightest I can still feel the pressure of his body on mine, and I can see his hazel eyes shining back at me where ever I go.

The first time I saw Blaine, he knowingly basked himself under the full moonlight in such a way that a canvas of his picture was painted on the back of my eyelids. If I close my eyes right now, then I can see him as clearly as if he were here. His chest is bare and toned, and a loin cloth sewed from tree leaves covers his sex. On his head is a triangular shaped green hat with a red feature stuck on top of it. Around his neck is a whistle carved from a horn, and a band of sharp sea shells decorates his wrists. Somewhere hidden on his body is his blood stained dagger. Ive never been able to identify where Blaine is carrying his weapon, but it always materializes in his hands when he needs it.

I dont know much about Blaine other than the little Ive seen and the fewer things hes told me. He likes to keeps his visits brief and he rarely tells me anything personal about himself. I learned from mere observation that Blaines plays the pan and he flies like a bird. After he knocks and the window opens my intruder doesnt always enter right away. Sometimes he lounges within the tree branches and mimics animal calls. Other times he lingers at the window nock and lightly plays his wooden flute.

While his body is doing one thing, his disconnected shadow is scouring my room and flying over my bed like a dangerous ghost. I dont know what his shadow is looking for, but it doesnt stop searching until it has looked in my closet, under my bed and between my sheets. This shadow, however, is not tamed or vanished by the power of a candle or a flashlight. Shadow may not even be an appropriate term to describe this thing.

My life would be so much easier if I was crazy or disturbed, but Im not. Blaine may not have a last name and he may defy the laws of gravity and practicality, but that doesnt stop his heart from pumping real blood or his brain from manifesting real and dark actions. Blaine is completely and absolutely real.

It hasnt been a long time since this living nightmare began, three night to be specific, yet it feels significantly more than that. If Blaine were here he would no doubt argue and say that time is something open to interpretation and dependent on your location. According to him, time passes too quickly in my world and time doesnt pass at all in his homeland - Neverland. Ive never heard of Neverland, but I will never question him about its existence. Its so much easier to mindlessly agree whenever he tells you an outrageous claim. The first time we met he told me he will forever stay young at sixteen. I wish I wasnt so cocky with him.

"Such a statement is complete balderdash." I said in my most matter-of-fact and academic based voice. "Everyone grows up. Its inevitable and part of life." I may have been wearing cotton pajamas and sitting upright in bed, but I didnt grant myself permission to be anything less than mature and gentlemanlike. Ive recently been accepted into Dalton Boys Academy due to my exceptionalism and potential. Its important that I represent and respect my seat at this fine school.

Blaine whistled as if he had a secret and he jumped off the top of my wardrobe. He flew in a few indecisive circles before he landed on my bookshelf. Three hard cover books fell off the shelves and settled on the floor. Blaine did not acknowledge or care about the mess he made "How old are you?"

The three discarded textbook sent a shiver down my spine. I hate messes. "Unlike you I age. To answer your question I will be turning sixteen next month." I answered as if I was in class and the teacher just asked me a question. "Is this the part of the evening where you try and convenience me that Ill never age after that?"

"Oh, arent you a little smart aleck." Blaine flew off the bookshelf. In the empty center of the bedroom floor, Blaines shadow did an extensive cartwheel and it waved its hands upon completion. The real body and flesh of Blaine did not show the same whimsy or patience to his host. "Better be careful Kurt. I dont like my boys catty and pompous."

"Then I guess Im lucky that Im not one of your boys."

Blaine stilled his body within thin air and stared down at me. His eyes flashed from its typical shade of hazel to black, and his shadow stopped dancing on the floor. The temperature within the bedroom, my safe space, dropped and hints of frost settled on my breath and on the window glass. Blaine may or may not have said something. I couldnt hear him or anything beyond the loud beating pulse in my ears. Within a blink of an eye and all too quickly, Blaine lowered his bare body until he was resonating over me. The tip of his nose was a few centimeters away from me and his breath was hot against my lips. He wasnt touching me, but I could feel an invisible force gripping my throat and preventing me from inhaling and exhaling air.

"Its a shame. You were supposed to be my smart-pretty lost boy. Talk back to me again and you will only be a lost boy." A dark chuckle vibrated the thin air separating our bodies. "You will come to learn that lost boys who lack utility tend to have the shortest expiration dates. Its always unfortunate for my boys when I dont have reason to keep them." Blaine lightly lowered his head forward and he smiled the most sinister of smiles. "Utility keeps them young, and I didnt give my expired boys the chance to age."

The memory of the blood stained dagger flashed in my mind. What does Blaine do with these lost boys?

The grip on my neck loosen to the point I could breathe easier, and dare to speak if I wished. Instead of taking the opportunity to ask questions, my body whizzed and coughed until my lungs were sore and an adequate level of oxygen was restored in my lungs. The blank blackness in Blaines eyes expressed disinterest in my physical struggle. If anything the slight curve in his lips seemed to suggest that my pain was his pleasure.

"Why are you here?" I finally whispered when I stopped coughing. Blaine remained silent and floating above me. "Why did you leave Neverland?"

"Neverland is my home. I have every intention in going back. Im just...window...shopping for my next lost boy. I like to have plenty of playmates." Blaine chuckled his answered and the grip on my throat completely relaxed. As if nothing strange or abusive happened, Blaine flew away from me and towards the window nook. "My attention span is short live. For the past three days Ive been able to remember you and want you. If I still remember and want you tomorrow, then Im going to take you to Neverland with me once and for all." The blue moonlight clearly outside Blaines define abdominal muscles and his eyes sparkled with mischievous adolescence youth.

"Im not going anywhere with you. Ill lock the window if I have to." The threat was moot without question. Blaine can defy the laws of gravity and magic keeps him young. A mere metal lock would not be a challenge to him. 

"If and when I come back," Blaine jumped off the nook and returned to my bed for a second time. My mindless threat evaporated in Blaines short lived attention span.  "You better be ready for me. I dont like to be kept waiting." Without further words the mysterious boy flew out of my open window, and the temperature in the room increased to normal.  

These words were spoken yesterday. Every part of my being is hoping that he will forget about me. There is nothing special about me that will make him want to return. The darker part of me wishes that he will find another unfortunate boy to trouble and scare. I understand that passing ill fortunes to another person is shameful and wrong, please forgive me. But I really dont want him to come back here. I dont like the hollowness in his eyes or the dry leaves tanged within his moppy black hair. Of all the unsettling details about him the worst part of his visits was when the tips of his calloused fingers glazed over my face, neck and waist.  Plus the constant reminder that he kills his "lost boys" and that his weapon of choice his hidden on his body does not help matters. If I dare to allow myself to think about it, I realize that there is nothing stopping him from taking his dagger and stabbing me in the gut or slitting my throat open. Even when Blaine is playing the role of a curious boy who is trying to make a new friend, I cannot see him as anything less than a cold blooded murder.

I really hope he has forgotten me.

A new gust of wind clashes against the window, and the branch shaped as a wicked hand motions back and forth erratically. Against my better judgment and all the warnings screaming in my gut, I open my eyes and stare at the white-blue moonlight shinning on my gray and blue rug on the bedroom floor. The shadow of the tree branch shaped as a hand is closer to me than it was before.  I was about to look away from the harmless shadow and check the time, when a second and new shadow of a hand came down from the sky. Attached to the new hand that posed loud danger and harm was an arm. With the arm was a chest, abdomen, neck, head two legs and a full size boy. Blaine remembered me.

Just like the past three nights, the shadow of the boy slipped beneath the window frame and two knocks tapped on the glass. In the light of day the window is relatively quiet upon opening, but at night the soft creaking sound is deafening and painful to listen to. I forcefully squinted my eyes shut and held onto my blanket when a cold gust of wind blew into my bedroom. I know that I look like a lump under my blanket, and I can tell that Im not fooling anyone into believing that Im innocently asleep and naïve of my guests arrival.

If I was brave or feeling like my traditional self, then I would lift my blanket off of my body and demand that Blaine leave me alone. If I could, then I would fight Blaine with my hands and words until he forfeited my position as one of his lost boys. I would try and fight for freedom of all the other boys being held captive in Neverland.  There is so much I would do, but I cant move, there are no words in my mouth, and my brain is actively telling my lungs to breathe. Im not a warrior or fighter. Im a coward.

"Good evening Kurt." Blaine sang from the window nook and the mischievous sound traveled with the midnight breeze. It wasnt until Blaine spoke that I realized he was playing his wooden flute. I recognized the faceless shadow peeking and slipping in between my dresser drawers. "Did you miss me?" The words in my mouth dissolved like cotton candy and my tongue felt like sand paper. "Tonight is an important night Kurt. Trust me when I say this: you dont want to be on my bad side. Now answer my question, did you miss me?"

I opened my mouth, but no audible sound could be heard. I willfully told my arms to scoot my body upwards and relax against the headboard, but I stayed paralyze with fear. I cant look at Blaine. The sound of his singing voice is torture alone, and the image of him in my mind only escalates the nausea in my stomach.

The shadow flew over my bed and aligned its outline in front of my vision. Im not sure if Blaines shadow has a conscience and if it is able to communicate with its master. Nonetheless, my unwelcomed visitor laughed. His voice and body was now resonating over me by a few feet. "Why are you so scared? What happened to the mouthy little brat I used to visit? I miss him." The notorious and evil mocking flute resumed playing an eerily and unfamiliar melody. "Although, I have to admit I have no objection to you?" Blaine removed the flute from his mouth and smiled down at him. "I take it back, youre not going to be my smart-pretty lost boy. Youre going to be my terrified-sexy lost boy who gives me whatever I want."

The thick blanket covering my body slid out of my hands like water and soon my pajama covered body was exposed to Blaines judgmental eyes. In the summer my tank top and boxers is an acceptable sleep wear, but the winter winds accompanying Blaine and his shadow were far from ideal and much too cold.   

"Blaine..." my cold trembling voice surprised my own ears with dialogue. "Please dont hurt me."

"Oh dear Kurt, when have I ever hurt you?" The forever sixteen year old innocently asked. "I dont hurt things I want, and you Kurt, are something that I definitely want. Its been four days since I first saw you." Blaine slowly lowered his body until he was completely rested on my bed. His firm arm wrapped around my waist and his bare chest pressed against my back. Physical contact has always been somewhat restricting with Blaine. He may tap my nose or tickle my hips, but the touch never lasted long and there was always minimum skin on skin contact. This was different and I didnt like the change.  "I know four days doesnt seem like a long time to you. In Neverland it has been much longer than that. I know this time change may confuse you, but youll get used to it."

"Get used to it...?" The cold hand around my waist scooted underneath the hem of my thin white tank-top. Blaine lightly teased my belly button before reaching his mark at my left nipple. Upon contact, a warm pair of lips latched on the right side of my neck. 

The new placement of Blaines hands and clarifying intentions caused me to squeal an undesirable sound.  If Blaines second hand werent tangled and pulling on my hair, then my reflexes would have pushed me forward and away from his unwanted touches.  "Blaine, what are you doing?"

"Dont embarrass yourself with dumb questions." The dark haired man broke his established sucking rhyme to answer my question. After a fleeting pause Blaines lips latched back on my skin. Centimeter by centimeter, the cold hand on my chest slithered upwards and the crease of Blaines elbow raised my shirt with the movement. "Good-boy." Without second hesitation or mercy the very hand that was fondling me, formed a grip around my neck and forced my head to look towards my mentally disturbed and unwelcomed guest. "Have you ever been kissed before?"

Kissing? Have I ever been kissed before? The answer is a big resounding no. Kissing is done between adults who love each other. The precious and beautiful act is not shared amongst strangers who dont know or like each other.

"No," my truthful answer barely escaped my lips. My lips, like the rest of my body, felt numb and disconnected from my soul. I couldnt fight or resist Blaine if I wanted to - which I do. I dont want his hands holding my waist or his hot breath touching my lips.

"Interesting." The mattress shifted slightly and Blaine pulled me with it. In slowly, carefully paced moments, I was rolled out of my fetal position and onto my back. Blaine raised one of his legs and settled his body on top of me. There was nothing under his leave-sewed loin cloth and I could feel him hard against me. "Im curious why no one has ever played this game with you. You look like youll be a fun playmate and lost boy."

The cold black stare in Blaine was neither that of a curious boy or heartless killer. He looked hungry and I was his main meal for the evening. "Please, dont hurt me. My father is down the hall. His heart is weak and I cant leave him."

This was the first time I ever mentioned my father in front of Blaine. To tell the truth, this is the first time I remembered my father while being in Blaines company. Its difficult to believe that I could forget about the man who raised me and who is sleeping a few doors away from me. Most times when people are scared they call for help. In the past, crying for help never crossed my mind. Tonight, however, and judging by the clues in Blaines eyes and voice, calling for help tonight seem like a foolish and dangerous idea. I may have forgotten about my father, but I still remember Blaines dagger.

"You have a father?" Blaine asked a question that I already answered. "Do you have a mother?"

"My mother is gone."

The older boy smiled at my watery answer. He looked happy and relieved that I was missing one parent. It was almost as if he had more respect for me now, than he did before. "I dont have any parents. Thats why I live in Neverland." I didnt say anything, but Blaine answered my unspoken thoughts. "You dont need your father anymore. Im all you need is me from now on."

Blaine looked like poison and nothing more. I only wish my body agreed with my mind. My nipples were hard and more blood was journeying towards my sex and away from my brain. Please forgive me, its not every day an evilly handsome man gives me this much attention, let alone straddles my hips and creases my bare skin.

"Please stop touching me. Im not old enough for this." Im not the nearest bit ready for this magnitude for intimacy. Sixteen may be an acceptable age for some mature people to become sexually active. I simply do not fall into that category.

"Were only playing, and adults dont play games." Blaine darkly laughed as if this was a joke and a part of the game. Despite the freezing temperature in the room, my body felt like it was burning up and I was grossly sweating. "I always win this game, but that should not deter you from playing too." Blaines hard sex pressed against me a little deeper when he leaned down to kiss the right side of my face. "Utility tends to last longer in boys who play back with me." 

"Blaine..."

"Shh-shh," another kiss dampened my cheeks. Each peck was nearing closer to my lips and ultimately to the fate of my first kiss. "Think happy thoughts," Blaine sang and kissed, "Think happy thoughts."

Against all better judgment and restrain my eyes rolled back and I sleepily buckled my hips upwards. The thin boxers separating me from Blaine was becoming my new unwelcomed distraction, and the man himself who was invading my thoughts and actions was becoming the bright center piece in my focus.

"Think happy thoughts." The same invisible force that normally grabs my throat, chillingly raised my arms and back off the mattress. With it, my white tank-top was pulled over my body. In the meantime, Blaine completely removed my boxers from my long legs. The removal of the distracting and restricting clothing increased my already heighten arousal. Its embarrassing and shameful how quickly Im unfolding at Blaines hands. He has barely touched me and Im already a mess. "Think happy thoughts."

Think happy thoughts.

There are no happy or unhappy thoughts in my mind, except for the unknown need crying out for more. Of course I dont shout or open my mouth beyond an experimental groan.

"Are you happy, Kurt?" Blaine pushed his body between my legs and allowed our uncovered sexes to touch each other.

I didnt say, or do anything expect lift my hips upwards and lick my lips. I honestly dont know what has gotten into me. Its almost as if something crawled inside me and a different being is controlling my willpower and self-discipline.

"Ill take that as an enthusiastic yes." Blaine smirked. "Shadow, get me some rope. The captain should have plenty enough to steal. Our Kurt is ready to go home."

Rope? The word lacked meaning or substance. My naked and happy body was too relaxed to care. I didnt have any concerns or fears of my father walking in and seeing me naked and in bed with another boy. If anything, my father felt like nothing more than a faded and distant memory. To tell the truth, my thought process has turned into a mumbled mess of tiring endearment. It would be so easy for me to simply close my eyes and relish the touch of Blaine sucking on my nipples while he waits for the confused object called a rope. What is a rope anyway? I honestly cant remember...

...

I was asleep, or at least I believe I was asleep, until a rough force rolled me off my back and onto my stomach. The cold winter air slapped my exposed backside like an angry wake-up call.

"Keep thinking happy thoughts, Kurt. Were almost ready for our flight home." Blaine bent my legs back and the same invisible force pulled my wrists towards my joined ankles. The front side of my body was completely exposed and unguarded by my arms and legs.   

Blaines shadow returned with a long itchy rope and it lightly tossed the object at the foot of the bed. The owner of shadow did not waste a second before seizing the rope and tying me up like a rodeo animal. I wanted to talk and fight back, but my muscles were as effective and strong as jelly.  

"What are you doing?"

"You, like all other lost boys, are relaxed and happy in your beds. Im tying you down now in order to make things easier for later when youre...less relaxed." Blaine forcefully pulled on the rope and secured its position around my wrists and ankles. "As much as I would love to kiss and play games with you here, even I have rules. The most important rule is this: once I start playing with you in Neverland, then you will never be allowed to leave. Neverland hasnt gotten its name by accident. After you land, then you can never leave. That is why I never-land."

I didnt share Blaines humor of the origins of the name Neverland. Its not funny and it doesnt make sense to me. "Let me go."

A strong arm wrapped around my stomach and a second arm snuck between my arms and back. My unhindered sex embarrassingly stood out without shame. Along with my sex, my pale bare thighs and abdomen stood out on public display.

Blaine laughed and jumped off the bed with me in his arms. "If I let go, then you would fall." I could see humor and jest rotating in Blaines hazel iris. "If you want I could drop your naked little virgin ass in the shady part of town. You would make some lucky drunks night, and your carcass would be tomorrows headlines. Its your choice." There was no choice to be make. My voice and mouth were still too placid to speak, and my skin was unwilling enjoying the touch of Blaine too much. Even if I could break this spell powering over me, I know Blaine wouldnt respect my choice either way. "Take a look around."

With more effort than I expected, I looked away from my intruder and toward my surrounding. I dont remember flying through my bedroom window and leaving my house behind, but I was now high in the sky the only thing holding me up was the pair of arms around me. Far below me were tiny yellow lights representing my hometown. It almost looked like the sky and earth reversed positions, and the houses and late hour business were untouchable stars. I wasnt as scared as I expected that I would be. As far as I could tell everything was feeling like a dream.

"Wheres Neverland?"

"The second star to the right, and straight on till morning." I ignored the ring in Blaines voice and watched the streak of green light and glitter trail our flying bodies. "We have a long flight ahead of us. You should get some sleep. Ill wake you when we arrive."

I fell asleep before Blaine finished his sentence.

...

"Blaine, Im sorry." A boy screamed and a loud thud followed suit. With my eyes still shut and my mind tethering between conscientious and unconscientious my ears effortless listened to the distant scared murmurs and low whispers.  As far as I was concerned this loud racket was the product of kids playing outside my bedroom window. It wouldnt be the first time I woke up to the sound of twelve year olds playing street hockey. 

The faint belief that this sounds was innocent ended with the commanding tone from the voice I fear above all others. "Apologies have never worked in the past and they wont work now. Hunter come here," Blaine redirected his orders from the poor soul begging for forgive to another stranger. My stomach twisted and turned for the poor boy consuming Blaines attention.

I could hear someone stumbling over his feet and stepping closer to the screen where all the focus was directed towards. "Yes sir," Hunter answered with false confidence. 

Knowing that this was no longer a dream, I finally and slowly opened my eyes to the bright outdoor sunlight. The sky was a bright blue and the limits of the atmosphere appeared to be lower than normal. As for the sun, it was three times its normal size and several degrees cooler. Boarding my view of the sky were vibrant green tree tops and lost arrows. Below my head was moist grass mixed in with slimy moss. The bounds on the wrists and legs were still in place and someones hand was tousling through my hair.

"How long have you known about this?" The hand on my hair stilled when Blaine spoke. Upon closer inspection and observation the calloused fingers massaging my skull felt familiar.

"I just found out." The boy, Hunter, immediately clarified. "I came to you as soon as I discovered that Thad had plans to leave us for the captain."

"How did you find out?"  Blaine stood up from petting my hair and stepped over my bare body. I wanted to turn my head and see what was happening, but like the coward that I am, I closed my eyes and forcefully willed myself to pretend that I was asleep and not scared, naked, and in the company of several people.  Hopefully no one can see my heart beating against my rib cage.

Its not difficult to recognize the fear in Hunters voice or his faltering hesitation. "Myself and a few others followed Thad to the pirates cove. We all saw Thad speaking directly with Sebastian and promising to sell the lost boys out for a place on his ship." 

Thad, or I assumed this is Thad, plead several more times for mercy and forgiveness. The tear drowned cries were spoken over by a less remorse call. "Kurt, I know youre awake. Roll over. You need to watch this."

As much as I hate being treated like a dog I followed the instruction like a well-trained pet. Im not sure what I was expecting to see, but this was not it.

Standing within a circular opening in a forest were at least fifteen boys. Twelve of these boys were nervously huddled together and trying to make themselves look invisible. Most of them were wearing loin clothes and a few were completely nude. Away from the scared group were three other boys. Kneeling and with his face towards the ground was a shaking sixteen year old with dark brown hair. There were many old scars on his back, and newer red cuts were still bleeding. Next to that boy was a taller boy standing up right. This boys facial features were strong and his brown eyebrows were extra thick. Other than a few bruises under his eyes and on his chest, this boy, Hunter, looked stronger and healthier than his counterpart.

The third person was Blaine and his black eyes lightened when I finally looked at him. Next to all the scarred and bruised boys I couldnt help, but imagine what he was planning to do my untouched skin. Well, untouched apart from the hickies on my neck and nipples.

Blaine looks different when the moonlight is not distorting his features. His skin has an olive tone tint to it and his image looks less sinister. "Good-boy," Blaine mocked my obedience. I didnt argue or try to argue with him. He was tightly gripping his dagger and he looked more than willing to use it. "You see Thad," the leader growled at the kneeling boy, "That is what lost boys are supposed to do. They are supposed to follow my orders and do as I say."

"Im sorry Blaine." Thad choked. "I heard youve been looking for a new lost boy ever since I started growing again. I got scared. I-I-I," The terrified boy glanced at me as if I could help save him. "I never promised Sebastian anything. Please let me go. You wont miss me."

"I wont miss you." The older man holding the dagger and ultimately all the power stepped away from Thad and glanced at me before addressing the cluster of lost boys. "I would like to introduce everyone to our newest member, Kurt." No one cheered at my introduction. In fact most of the boys stared at me with a mixture of envy and worry. There was no judgment or degradation on behalf of my nudity. "Jeff, you didnt believe me when I told you that Kurt was beautiful. Did I correctly describe Kurts beauty?"

A blond hair boy with bright green eyes jealously glanced in my direction before looking back at Blaine. This lips formed a straight line and his long bangs nicely framed his face. "He is pretty no doubt, but its a heavy shame if this is the prettiest boy you could find." Blaine smirked and raised one eyebrow, silently encouraging Jeff to say more. It almost looked to me that Blaine was seeking conflict and tension between his ‘lost boys. "I dont image that his mediocre face and skinny body will keep you satisfied in the grand scheme of things. I can promise you that he wont be able satisfy you like I do." Blaine still did not argue. Instead he nodded his head in agreement.

I dont know why Jeffs harsh words in accompaniment with Blaines head nod felt like a punch to the stomach. Im a reasonable person, albeit currently confused and terrified. Yet the hungry adoration looks Blaine previously gave me back home have, by some unknown means, turned into a self-conscience crutch for my dependence, and with that gone I felt feeble and humble.

"Blaine," I spoke for the first time since I woke up. My voice was rougher and drier then I cared for. "Whats going on?"

"Jeff here," Blaine grabbed the blond haired boy by the waist and pushed him against his bare chest. "Jeff is the best lost boy and fuck on the island. He is also the lost boy Ive had the longest." The blond proudly beamed at the high praise from his master. Jeff may or may not have turned his neck sideways to kiss Blaines jawline. I turned away due to unexplainable jealousy. "Ever since I brought him here, his mouth and ass have kept me entertained when I got bored with my other lost boys. Something in the air changed and new clouds formed under the enlarged sun. "Well, it did until I met you."

I didnt know what happened until it was too late, by that point all I could see was the color red. Pressed against the upper left potion of Jeffs chest was Blaines hand and the handle of his dagger. The rest of the sharp object was deep within the blondes stabbed chest. Without patience or gentleness, Blaine twisted the dagger before retracting his bleeding weapon. Jeffs pale and lifelessly body fell to the earth with a heartbreaking thud. A rich and thick gush of blood poured out of Jeffs stabbed heart, and soon the color red was stained over vibrant and healthy forest soil and green moss.

I said nothing and I felt like my eyes were going to pop out of my head. Jeff, a boy I didnt like and only just meet was killed before me without warning or a second thought from his murder. The tension among the other boys was not as great as mine. No one looked like they were about to vomit or pass out in shock. Surely this was not normal, was it? To the best of my ability I frantically crawled onto my knees and scooted my body away from the cascade of blood rolling in my direction.

"Alright boys," Blaine held up his dagger and cheered. "I think a little house cleaning is in order. Im going to go and initiate Kurt into our family. When I return I want half of you alive and waiting for me, and I want the other half in the ground enriching the soil of Neverland." Everyone, including Thad and Hunter glared at me as if I was responsible for Blaines instructions. "Thad, give Hunter your weapon." Thad remained still at the sentence that was the same as a death warrant. "Hunter, I want you to kill Thad first with his bow and arrow. The rest of you can fight it out amongst yourselves. To die will be a great adventure."

Blaine didnt allow me the chance to watch the first boy strike the second.  Before I knew it, I was in Blaines arms and we were flying somewhere far away from the blood bath that he just started. I couldnt help but scream when a smear of Jeffs warm blood was accidently wiped across the flat of my stomach. All Blaine did in return to my panic was smile and kiss me square on the lips.

My first kiss, my first kiss was born from the death of a fallen lost boy.

...

"I saw jealously in you earlier." Blaine laid me flat against a shady flat boulder.

My wrists and ankles were still bound, but no longer together. My arms were stretched long and tied to a metal rod. It felt nice to be able to stretch my sore muscles, yet I didnt give myself permission to move beyond the length Blaine laid me down at. Maybe if my captors hands werent stained with blood and I was immune to the sight of light leaving another mans eyes, maybe then I would have played with the strings of fate and dared to relax. But I couldnt do that. Blaine is in fact covered in someone elses blood, and I pray that Im never get used to the idea of murder.

"Jealousy, you will come to learn is a common trait shared among my boys and other residents on this island. Everyone wants me, but I rarely keep them around, unless of course they maintain my interest. That is why green is my favorite color. I tend to make people envious." Blaine did not acknowledge or pretend to notice my silent fear. "You shouldnt worry yourself about Jeff. His comfort and status among the lost boys made him too complacent for my liking."

A large part of my being wanted to steal Blaines green hat and slap him until his arrogant grin fell off. The act was restricted by my own willingness and ability to do so. "I wasnt jealousy of Jeff." I spat the name of the blond with more venom than acceptable for Jeffs recent passing. I dont know why I cared so much if Blaine liked someone better than me. Isnt that what I wanted? The more Blaine is with someone else, then the less time he is with me. Im afraid of him, remember. He kills without mercy and his allegiance is with no one. After all, he killed his ‘best lost boy without remorse or regret.

"Stop thinking so hard." Blaine kneed down and unlaced the rope around my ankles. I said and did nothing when he spread my legs that felt like rubber. "You were jealous. The more I touch someone," Blaine began his sentence and gingerly kissed my lip as if we were high school sweethearts. "The more I touch someone, then the more they want me and no one else. My parents didnt want me, but you will - you do."

Parents, the word floated over my head and the meaning did not leave a lasting impression in my heart or mind. "Where are my parents?" When Blaine used to visit me in my bedroom it was difficult for me to remember that my father was close by; but here in Neverland, I cant remember my fathers name or what his face looks like. A heavy hallow feeling plummeted in my stomach and all of a sudden I felt lightheaded. "I-I-I cant remember my fathers name! I-I-I."

"Shh-shh," Blaine whispered and kissed my ear. His strong hands cradled my neck and his bare chest touched mine. "Just forget about him. Im all you need from now on." The voice that used to make my skin crawl, felt as smooth as honey against my body. "I take care of my lost boys, and in return they swear their loyalties to me. Its all a part of the game were playing." With one hand, Blaine pulled down his leaf loincloth. "I think its time to play, dont you?"

I dont know where my mind or attention was, but a switch inside me flipped and an internal veil keeping my mind blind was removed. "Blaine," every cell in my body sprung to life and a sense of panic washed over me. Ive been naked in front of Blaine for some time now and I already felt him hard against me. Yet all of a sudden something was different and all the difference was originating in the older boys black eyes. "Blaine, I dont want to play this game." My reflexes tested the strength and stability of the ropes restraining my arms. Unfortunately the knots were securely fastened and unremoved by my dwindling muscle strength.  "I...I...I...Im not old enough to play this game remember." I used the plea that did not work when I tried it earlier.

"I dont understand the effects that this magic has over you boys." My capturer shook his head and rolled his eyes at my fruitless cries. "One minute youre a placid little doll craving and envying my touches." Blaines fingers drew invisible circles around my waist and lips and created another lovers mark on my neck. "And then next minute youre freaking out when the game is finally starting to get exciting. Thats not good sportsmanship. I guess this means Im going to have to teach you how to be a team player." The voice that was once honey to my ears reestablished itself to the pestering and sinister sound of wood stretching against glass. "I never graduated school and I hated the whole experience, but I am a very good teacher."

The cold solid boulder did not bend or morph in shape to compliment Blaines added weight on me. There were no soft pillows or blankets to gradually ease me into a comfortable physical state and relaxed mind. Instead, I was laying bound on a giant rock that looked more like a sacrificial alter than anything else

"Blaine, my back hurts..."

"A common complaint on the island."  There wasnt any interest, concern or passion in Blaines voice, only a heavy weight of lust and irritation. "But this is where the game starts. I love games. Dont you?"

Blaine raised his chest off mine. A gentle breeze tickled the residing saliva on my neck and sent a chill down my spine. I can only guess how many markings are on my neck and chest. Better lovers marks than lashes. Lashes, of all the things fading from my mind, why can I remember that cruel and gory act. The image of Thads deep scares scars was nothing more than pure torture. The worst part was the fact that no one on the island seemed scared or troubled by the violent punishment. Please tell me this isnt normal punishment. I shouldnt be here. I want to go home.

Where is home again...? Why is my memory fading?

"Shh-shh," repeated Blaine as if he was my comfort and solution. "Neverland is a place to be happy, not sad." Blaines words would have been less unsettling it they werent said with complete calm and sincerity. I can only image that Blaines honestly believes that Neverland is in fact a happy place versus its factual status as a land of torment and nightmares. "Think happy thoughts." He kissed my lips with a smile. "Think happy thoughts. Forget the past and think happy thoughts."

Think happy thoughts. Think happy thoughts. The sound repeated in my mind like tick-tock of a grandfather clock.

"Im thinking about you right now, and it is making me very happy." The intent and full meaning of Blaines happiness was far from wholesome. He was happy and the leaking evidence was touching my inner thigh.  "What are you thinking about?"

The question was more difficult than it sounded. My mind was acting like an empty void and the only hints of substance was the memory of the sound of Thad crying for compassion and Blaines hazel eyes staring at me. The recollection of my father and true home felt like nothing more than a fuzzy and forgotten dream. "I dont know what Im thinking." I answered honestly while staring into my captors eyes. The different shades of brown and green were beautifully alluring and enrapturing.  If I was standing, then I believe my knees would have buckled with my hypnotic confusion.

"Allow me to help you," Blaine briefly kissed my lips before raising my left leg up. I didnt realize how flexible I was until both my legs rested on top of the other boys shoulders. "This is a happy thought." The dark haired boy grabbed his own sex to collect some of his own leaking fluid. After a few tugs he grabbed my own sex. I would be lying if I said that my body didnt jerk up and my voice moaned like an undignified whore.  My fingers and toes curled in effort to keep will-power from leaving me.

I cant remember whether or not I wanted Blaine to touch me. Apart of me recalls complaining that I didnt want this; but why wouldnt I want this when the wonderful, beautiful and handsome Blaine is touching me? What more could I want than him?

"Thats it," my captor, nay my lover, smiled. "Im your happy thought. Just think about me, and how much you want this." Blaine growled and pulled on my sex again. "But you want more."

"I do?" My voice asked without my brains permission, or so it felt. "Youre with me. What more could I want?"  Why did I just say that? Am I talking or is someone else?

"Yes you do."

I didnt know what else I could want, until something strange poked and probed inside my buttock. "Blaine! What are you doing?" Isnt this the mechanics of sex? Why cant I remember the basic details of sex?

"Its all a part of the game, Kurt."

The one finger inside me turned into three fingers and I felt like I was being ripped in half. This isnt a fun game, and how can I win when my arms are tied down? I didnt realize I was crying until Blaine made light of the fact.

"Stop crying Kurt, happy thoughts make you happy - not sad." The three fingers that were inside me pulled out. "Most times I dont prep my boys. I suppose you can call yourself special."

Special? Why did he prep me? Wasnt that the game?

"Awe, look how confused you are." Blaine grabbed a strong hold of my legs and aligned his sex with my entrance. "Kurt sweetie, do you understand why I had to tie your arms down?" Thankfully he didnt wait for the answer I didnt know. "Some boys find this next part...unpleasant."

I should have watched the placement of Blaines hand instead of his hungry stare and dilated eyes. Maybe if I did, then the next part wouldnt have confused and surprised me as much.

With more force than I knew possible, Blaine shoved his sex into me without hesitation or patience. I wasnt given enough time to adapt to the thick invasion before it pulled out and back in again. I didnt even try to limit my screams or respect the peace of the great outdoors.   

"Remember this," the older boy panted between his fast and sporadic thrusts. "Remember every fucking detail. This is your life from now on. This is your happy ending." The circulation in my wrists lessened the harder I tried to pull the ropes. Soon I stopped resisting all together.  "By the way," Blaine temporary stilled his hips in order to kiss my lips once more. "Welcome to Neverland, my very special lost boy." The pause didnt last long before Blaines sex resumed ripping my insides in half.

In between Blaines heavy pants and in the faint distance, I could hear the survivors of the lost boys cheering their victory over the fallen.  This is my life and everything before now is a forgotten dream.

...

The End