Chapter 31

‘'Sorry for disturbing and...all of this,'' Kurt gestured to himself.

He was walking down at trail at Bixby park with his grandmother Lydia, just how they did back in the day.

After everything that went on back in his apartment, he had to get out of there and think. Lydia was a very good advice giver so he headed to her apartment not far from his. As soon as Lydia saw his sad face, tears streaming down his face, hands trembling, she went to hug him and suggest to go for a walk.

‘'Don't apologize, sweetie,'' Lydia caressed his arm in assurance. ‘'I mean it when I said you can come to me whenever you need.''

Kurt gave her a teary smile. He was so thankful but he had questions.

After he told Lydia about Elizabeth Anderson being his mother, he didn't look surprised by the least. All she did was say ‘'I know''. He had taken a step back, thinking she had lied to him just like Blaine had. But she should have her reasons to keep stuff like that from him. Unlike Blaine.

‘'W-why didn't you tell me about...her...sooner?'' he asked, looking at the ground as they kept walking.

After a long sigh she answered. ‘'That's a hard thing to explain. I sort of wanted to in the beginning but thought it was too soon because we didn't know each other so well. Later on, we found out more and got closer, every time that subject came up you kept repeating how you would never forgive her and how you didn't even want to know where she was or what had happened. I don't...I'm sorry Kurt. It was just so confusing for me.''

Kurt understood. Every time that subject came up he did say those things. He even was sure that even if he knew that Lydia knew who was his mother, he wouldn't let her tell him. At least not until he would feel ready. But at the same time, would he ever be ready?

‘'It's okay,'' Kurt whispered. ‘'I just don't know what to do anymore...Did you know in which orphanage I was placed in''

Lydia nodded. ‘'Yes. And I've always kept an eye on you. I've made several donations to the orphanage just so it can provide you, children, with everything you need,'' she glanced at Kurt but there was still a question in his eyes. ‘'I never could take you with me because they never let me. I wanted to...so bad sweetheart. But I couldn't. Back then I was sick and it was a miracle I even survived. But they wouldn't give a child to a woman that could die any day. And by the time I was okay you were a teenager and I knew it would be...weird. And tough if I took you then. So I counted the years waiting for them to release you and then I could take care of you.''

Kurt saw tears in Lydia's eyes. She wanted to take care of him unlike Elizabeth. She tried as much as she could.

He remembered how she didn't make them pay for the rent as much as they needed she had offered him a job. And her love.

But if he knew about Elizabeth now he had to know everything.

‘'So...why...umm...why didn't you tell anything about me to my mo- Elizabeth?'' Kurt couldn't call her mother yet.

Lydia didn't answer for quite a while. Kurt didn't know what to think. Lydia obviously knew where Elizabeth was, how she looked like and all that. He'd shown her pictures of her when telling her about Blaine and his family. You couldn't just forget how your only son's wife had looked like.

He was about to ask something else, not expecting Lydia to answer suddenly. ‘'It is very complicated. After my son died I sort of...I don't know how to day all this...Basically, she disappeared and I didn't try to look for her. And after I moved to California and started my business and all that I saw her by accident one time and from then I've been kind of keeping an eye on her. It was many years after we lost you and at the time I had barely recovered from my sickness. The thing is that we never really had that family bond with her. But don't get me wrong, she is a very good person, very kind and caring, independent. Just like you.''

She looked at Kurt lovingly but Kurt couldn't help but feel a little awkward. He still hadn't got around the fact that he had a mother and being compared to her was a weird feeling.

‘'Although our relationship wasn't the best, I couldn't help but adore their child. You. You were the sweetest little boy I've ever seen,'' Lydia and Kurt smiled at each other before she continued. ‘'Anyway, when I saw her in California, I saw how she started a new family, a new life and I was well...angry I must admit. It seemed like she didn't want to look for you. Like she had given up.''

At Kurt's pained expression and sudden tension she added quickly. ‘'But I don't know her life. She loved you, very much. Losing you was very hard for her.''

Kurt still was looking at the ground, his arms wrapped around his own body. It was not like he had expected anything different. Just his parent giving up on him.

‘'Please, Kurt,'' Lydia pleaded. ‘'Don't take my word for it. If Elizabeth wants to talk to you, you should listen. We haven't talked in a very long time and I don't know what she thinks and what she wants. I'm just telling you my side of the story. You should listen to hers.''

After a long silence, Kurt asked, ‘'And what about Blaine?''

‘'What do you mean, what about Blaine?'' Lydia asked, a little confused. ‘'Are you worried about your...bond with him, dear? It's not like your brothers, you're not related in any way-‘'

‘'No, no, no, Lydia, no,'' Kurt said quickly, a bit in shock. ‘'That's not what I was implying at al. I know we're not related, we have different parents and all. It's just...Blaine knew about her being my m-mother before me. I know that just for a few days he knew that because he kept  asking me ‘what would I do if I saw her?' or ‘would you ever forgive her?' and bunch of questions like that. So after Elizabeth told me the truth I just...snapped at him. I didn't know what-I was so angry and felt betrayed. I don't know what to do.''

Lydia sighed. ‘'What I think is that he probably knows the whole story. Maybe there's a reason why everything happened the way it did, maybe it's no one's fault.''

‘'So...what do you think I should do?'' Kurt asked with big eyes.

‘'I think you should listen to your heart. You know Blaine better than I do, you know yourself the best. You should do what you feel like doing. That's the best advice I can give you, sweetheart.''

x-x-x-x-x

 Kurt stayed the night at Lydia's. After the walk outside, they went to dinner and spent a quiet evening together. Lydia felt like he needed a little calm time to gather his thoughts and a shoulder to lean on. She knew he'd make the right decisions, he just needed to come to them, think everything through.

So after eating, they went to Lydia's apartment and spent it quietly. Lydia didn't bother him much, let him breathe and come to some conclusions without her help.

Early in the morning Kurt woke up with a refreshed mind.

Lydia was at work so Kurt had nothing here any longer.

He had decided.

x-x-x-x-x

That night Blaine stayed the night at Kurt's apartment alone. Everyone had gone to stay at Jeff's house, having a sleepover or something like that. They just simply knew Blaine wanted to be left alone and the apartment had to be empty.

He hated to let his mother go in the condition that she was in but he needed to speak to Kurt before he spoke to her. He had to make things right.

He had been pacing around the rooms of the apartment for the majority of the night. He was beyond worried and stressed.

He didn't know where the heck Kurt was and he had left his phone at the apartment. He wasn't at home, he wasn't with any of their friends.

Blaine was just devastated.

When he finally tried to sleep, he made the couch but he kept tossing and turning. He got up and just went to Kurt's bed.

It was so comforting and sad at the same time. Kurt's smell and the memories they shared in this little room were calming and making him happy, giving him hope but at the same time, he didn't know what would happen later.

Maybe Kurt would never return. Maybe he'd leave the city without any clues.

Did the fight mean they were over? Was their engagement over?

The mere thought of it made Blaine's heart break, head pound and he couldn't keep it all in. He scrunched the covers in his hands and just shouted as loud as he could. It wasn't a very good idea to do that so early in the morning but he couldn't help but feeling as distressed as ever.

x-x-x-x-x

Kurt silently entered his apartment. His first thought was that nobody was home. He was about to gather his things, he went into the living room to take his phone when a quiet voice coming from the far side of the room scared him. ‘'Kurt?''

Kurt looked the direction the voice was coming from.

A very messy and tired looking Blaine was standing by the window, wearing the same clothes from yesterday, all wrinkly, looking at Kurt like he was some miracle.

Kurt didn't say a word. Just ran into Blaine's arms.

‘'I'm so, so sorry,'' Kurt said hugging Blaine as tight as he could.

There was silence for a moment and Kurt let out a sigh of relief as Blaine's hands wrapped around him just as tight.

‘'What are you sorry about?'' Blaine whispered.

They parted but Kurt kept his hands on Blaine's shoulders. ‘'I-I acted too sharply. I know your not-I know you didn't mean anything bad. I...I guess I just overreacted. I'm so sorry.''

Blaine searched his face, ran his thumbs across Kurt's cheeks as he talked, like he would make sure he was really here and saying the things he was hearing.

‘'Kurt...I should be sorry, I should've said something as soon as I found out. Or, I don't know, done something. I-I...I'm sorry. You shouldn't be.''

Kurt shook his head lightly. ‘'No, you did the right thing. I've said several times that...I wouldn't want to-know I guess. So I understand everything. I'm sorry I was so confus-‘'

Before Kurt could finish, Blaine's lips were moving against his, kissing him deeply, like he needed it like air. After a split second Kurt closed his eyes and melted in Blaine's arms, giving in. He felt so bad for ever doubting Blaine like that.

‘'Don't be sorry,'' Blaine whispered, their eyes still closed, foreheads touching.

Kurt sighed again. ‘'I love you, Blaine.''

‘'I love you too, beautiful,'' Blaine responded right after, caressing Kurt's hand, going over the ring, ‘' I love you too.''

x-x-x-x-x

It took the whole day for Kurt to take up his courage to go to Blaine's house.

He and Blaine spent the entire day in each other's arms, making sure they were okay, reassuring one another.

Blaine suggested he came with Kurt for support but Kurt declined. He needed to go there alone.

He took Blaine's car and drove to the Anderson's house. For about five minutes he couldn't get out of the car. This was it. The explanation he was thinking about on and off for all of his life was inside, waiting. An explanation that could change his life, something he'd been wondering about for as long as he remembers himself.

He clenched his teeth and opened the door, heading to the big house. He didn't bother to knock, just went straight in, noticing how silent everything was. She was probably home alone, Kurt noted that it was a good thing, for their privacy.

And yes, there she was, sitting on a bench by the kitchen counter, drinking coffee and looking out the window in front of her, showing her well-kept garden.

‘'Elizabeth?''

Her eye's widened at the voice behind her. She slowly turned and gave Kurt a watery smile.

‘'I-I'm ready to hear you out,'' he told silently, still standing several feet away awkwardly by the door.

Elizabeth inhaled, suddenly getting very nervous. ‘'Come, um, sit down, sweetie.''

Kurt swallowed at the nickname. He silently went and sat down on the bench beside her.

‘'Uh, where do I even start?'' she asked to herself, looking at her hands. ‘'I-It's not an easy thing to speak about. It has hurt me so deeply and I've told no one about it until a few days ago, when I found out that you...you were my missing Kurtie.''

Kurt looked at her expressionless. He could see tears shimmering in her eyes already.

But in the car he swore to himself that he wouldn't show emotion today. He could do something he'd regret in the heat of the moment, weather bad or good. So he composed himself to just listen to what she had to say.

‘'It was 18 years ago. The worst day of my life. A day I thought I would never get over. I am still not,'' she looked Kurt in the eyes, but at his silence she continued. ‘'Burt, your father, he had problems with blood pressure and his heart, and...we...me and you...were heading to the hospital one late night to see him,'' her voice was shaking but she was determined to control her emotions. ‘'And we were walking across the street, you were telling me some lovely story from kindergarten and...well there was this sharp turn so...when you walk across the street...I-I...just,'' she put her hands on her temples, breathing a bit to regain her strength to continue. ‘'We were walking passed the street and the car just came out of nowhere and...I-my first instinct was saving my child, you...I pushed you away and the car hit me. I guess I went unconscious,'' she looked up from her lap and searched Kurt's eyes. See could see that his brows were furrowed in sadness. ‘'When I woke up in the hospital, I couldn't help but scream for you. I ran from the hospital to the place where it happened and...you weren't there. I asked people all around the area, showing them your picture. Nothing.''

‘'When I got back to the hospital, Burt could see...something was wrong. And that's when I lost him. too. His heart couldn't take it,'' she couldn't help but let those few tears escape. ‘'I loved your father very dearly. Losing you both, at once, I thought my life was over.

‘'That's when I regained my strength, promised myself not yo give up on you, Kurt. We weren't rich but I gave all of my savings, everything I had, to find you. I hired professionals, I still went around showing everyone your picture, I did everything I could imagine. But I couldn't find you.''

Tears were streaming down her face, her eyes locked with Kurt's. ‘'I'm so sorry, darling. I'm so sorry I couldn't do anything to find you. I-I am so so sorry. I could never forgive myself.''

That was when the unbelievable happened. Kurt got up from his seat and wrapped his arms around the crying woman. He rested his chin on her shoulder and squeezed tighter.

x-x-x-x-x

3 years later

‘'Honey, wake up,'' Kurt crawled in the bed to wake Blaine up.

Blaine was sleeping on his stomach, the sheet covering him barely over his butt, his head straight into the pillow and hands underneath it. Kurt still couldn't understand how he could sleep like that, without breathing.

With no response, he caressed down Blaine's back lightly until his hand was under the cover, going over the swell of Blaine's ass, while kissing over Blaine's shoulders at the same time.

Kurt could hear Blaine groan and quickly turn around. He was about to grab Kurt and pull him into his arms but Kurt got away quickly. He laughed at Blaine's frown.

‘'Morning, honey.''

‘'Tease,'' Blaine growled, attempting to throw a pillow at Kurt but missing.

‘'Wake up, we're going to be late,'' Kurt said as he sat down by a table across the bed to finish his routine of getting ready. ‘'As a matter of fact, we already are late. Everyone's down celebrating already. This is the first and last time I'm letting you make me sleep until one in the afternoon.''

Blaine snickered, ‘'Last night you weren't complaining.''

‘'Oh, shush,'' Kurt hissed and blushed. He hated when Blaine was right. ‘'Be glad that Clementine didn't hear us.''

‘'Says who?'' Blaine laughed. ‘'You're the one screaming and begging and-‘'

‘'Blaine, stop! Seriously,'' Kurt said but then chuckled. He was right again. Damn him.

There was a silence for a few moments and then Blaine said, still from the bed, ‘'Would you take the honor of taking care of my morning wood that you parcticipated in by shoulder kissing and ass rubbing?''

Kurt stared at himself in the mirror with an open mouth. ‘'No, sir. I'm afraid mr.shower and mr. right hand will take care of that.''

Kurt smirked and got up. ‘'Besides, I have to go dress Clementine.''

Clementine was their three-year-old daughter. They didn't plan to get a baby but it just...happened one day.

Kurt was making lunch, alone at home, waiting for Blaine to arrive when he went to get the rest of the Anderson family to their house.

And then he heard a door bell.

He was a bit confused, any of the Anderson's wouldn't knock or ring the bell, they agreed on it and Kurt wasn't expecting anyone else so it was weird.

What was even weirder was the person he saw at the door.

It was Heidi. With a baby in her arms.

‘'H-heidi?'' Kurt asked in disbelief.

She looked like a mess to say it shortly. Her hair was messy and unwashed, she had very dark under eye circles and she didn't dress like she did before. At all.

Kurt wouldn't recognize her if he'd see her somewhere.

‘'Wha-what are you doing here?'' Kurt asked unsurely. He hoped very badly that she wasn't here to ‘get Blaine back'.

‘'I-Kurt,'' she asked with a very shaky, raspy voice. ‘'You need to help me. I-I know I don't deserve your help or anything just...please help.''

Kurt stood there absolutely dumbfounded but nodded.

‘'I-Can you take care of her? Of my baby?''

Kurt looked absolutely horrified at the question. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

‘'I can't take care of her. I-I just don't know how...Please, help me.

‘'I know i-it's not Blaine's but...I don't know what else to do.''

She then handed him the baby with shaky hands, kissed her forehead and then squeezed Kurt's shoulder. ‘'Take good care of her. I know you both will.''

Before Kurt could say anything else she was gone.

When Blaine got home, they were all surprised to say the least.

For weeks they couldn't understand what to make of the situation.

At first they thought Heidi was trying something, making some plan to destroy them again but Kurt didn't believe it. She looked truly desperate and genuine.

There was still the option to put her up for adoption but Kurt couldn't do it. It was too hurtful, taking from where he'd come from. He knew they would take good care of her but he couldn't do it.

It was settled.

He would keep her. Over the days he grew very attached to the girl. It just felt right. He fell in love with her instantly.

He had told Blaine that if he didn't want a baby yet he could go live somewhere else with the baby. He didn't suggest breaking up, god no. But it was a lot to ask from Blaine.

But of course Blaine didn't allow that to happen. It took a while for Blaine to truly accept the little girl but he realized he still had that anger towards Heidi for her lies and betrayal so he realized he had to let that go, not hold those emotions against the child.

And that's what he did.

They named her Clementine.

x-x-x-x-x

Not long after that, Blaine talked Kurt into buying their own house. Blaine had wanted to but Kurt tried to budge. Blaine convinced him that they couldn't live in Kurt's small apartment and they would buy a house eventually anyway.

So Kurt agreed.

They got married not long after the purchase of the house.

The house had been a big challenge for them. They kept arguing about everything, the move was very stressful, as well as the decorating and Kurt's need for everything to be perfect.

So one day everything happened very spontaneously. Blaine asked his mother to watch after Clementine for a few days and bought himself and Kurt tickets to Catalina Island, where they had had their first ever trip together.

And well...they got married. Just the two of them, alone, on the beach.

So now they were the happy little family, living on their own, with a beautiful toddler girl.

And today they were celebrating another little family. Nick and Jeff.

They were hosting their engagement party at Kurt and Blaine's house because it had the biggest, best back yard where everyone could fit in.

Finn and Rachel, still happily together. Tina and Mike, still happily together too.

Even Cooper, Christina and Saul managed to come over. Kurt and Blaine were so lad to see Saul and Clementine forming a very strong bond.

Lydia also agreed to come. At first she was a bit sceptical. She knew Nick and Jeff very well as they were Kurt's close friends but she still had those hard feelings with Elizabeth.

But Kurt was so glad that they had gotten a moment to talk alone sometime during the party and now they were okay. Lydia had forgiven Elizabeth and told her not to blame herself for everything.

Kurt and Elizabeth were a whole different story. Their bonding happened very slowly. They still weren't as close as a mother and son would be but they were working on it. They still celebrated every holiday together, visited each other, talked on the phone, Kurt still sung in Cantare. Kurt simply didn't want to rush anything. But he for sure had forgiven her completely and wanted to start a new life with a mother in it.

Everyone was talking to each other, making toasts for the newly engaged couple, dancing to the slow music but Kurt and Blaine were stuck in their own bubble.

They were wrapped around in each other's arms, slowly dancing.

The sun was setting, making the back yard a bit darker, the only light coming from inside and from the pool lights.

Blaine adored small moments like these. They were just Kurt and Blaine. No one else.

‘'I love you,'' Kurt stopped the silence and said over Blaine's shoulder.

‘'I love you too, beautiful.''