Operation: Fake Boyfriend
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Operation: Fake Boyfriend: Gimme a Fever


E - Words: 1,817 - Last Updated: Aug 27, 2012
Story: Closed - Chapters: 3/? - Created: Aug 14, 2012 - Updated: Aug 27, 2012
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Author's Notes: Hiya all of you! Thank you for all of the people who've read this so far and the sweetlings who reviewed. :)

You were kidding about that, right? Because I wouldn't be comfortable hooking up with you- especially in my baby Navigator." Kurt asked Santana, panicked, as she dragged him up the escalator.

Santana glanced back at him, disbelief coloring her face, "Seriously, Hummel? You're as gay as a Redvine is bendy."

Kurt coughed a laugh, "Redvines, again?"

Santana shook her head, "You're really missing out. Anyway, I said that crap to make Frodo jealous-"

"Oh my god, Santana, he was in love" Kurt sneered the word with bitterness, "With a stupid-haired GAP employee, not 20 minutes ago!"

"Then what was his excuse for looking like he was going to burn me alive?" Santana raised an eyebrow.

Kurt rolled his eyes and was about to reply, when a shrill voice yelled, "Kurt! Where were you?"

Kurt linked arms with Rachel and Santana, who towed the other girls along, "We ran into the Gay Hogwarts Garglers." Santana stated.

Brittany looked confused, "Can Harry Potter's birds be gay?"

"Harry Potter's birds? Since when did he have more than one?" Kurt asked, playing along, a smirk tugging at his lips.

Brittany rolled her eyes, "Well, duh, Kurt. Hedwig totally had babies. Like Quinn! Quinn, is your baby an owl?"

Quinn's mouth opened and closed as she ducked her head in embarrassment. First her baby was a 'lizard-baby' and now she was an owl?

When Quinn didn't respond, Brittany had made her own assumptions, "Oh... I guess not: Your baby didn't have feathers.. Do cats get sick by eating gay birds? Because I swear that Charity ate one of them. Lord Tubbington would've told her not to, but he was too busy smoking to notice. He's grounded, by the way."

"Uh... What do the Garglers have to do with gay owls and Quinn's baby?" Tina asked, snapping out of a daze - probably thinking about Mike.

"Duh, Tee, the Garglers are gay owls- wait. Is Kurt one of them? Does that mean that he's like half-New Direction and half-Gargler?"

"Um, I guess so." Kurt shrugged.

"How were you born, Kurt?" Brittany asked, out of the blue.

"Excuse me?" Kurt furrowed his eyebrows.

"Well, if you're half-Gargler and half-New Direction, you're half-Dolphin, and half-Owl."

"I guess..." Kurt stopped, trying to find an answer that would satisfy Brittany, "I'm actually a full dolphin, but I was adopted by the owls."

"You, too?" Brittany gasped, eyes widening.

Everyone turned to Brittany quizzically, but shrugged and ignored the strange comments that came out of Brittany's mouth.


"-And I swear, Noah and Luke have totally been hooking up behind Reid's back!" Kurt exclaimed, taking a bite out of his french-fry, as all of the girls listened like their lives depended on it.

"That reminds me of something, doesn't it, Quinn?" Santana lifted an eyebrow as a cocky smile played at her lips. The girls - excluding Kurt, who had been filled in by Finn - looked confused as Quinn suddenly looked panicked, but kept on her poker-face, "Yeah, it reminds me of the whole Brad-Angelina-Jennifer thing, a few years back."

Santana slitted her eyes as she took a forceful bite out of her own french-fry.

"Anyway, what about Noah and Luke? Didn't you say that they broke up a while back?" Rachel asked, drawing the attention back to the trio of Warblers.

"Yeah, but Noah's been acting strange, lately, and I've noticed that whenever Luke and Reid kiss in public, Luke's eyes are wide open. It's too bad: you can just tell that Luke and Reid are soul-mates-"

"Like Finn and myself!" Rachel sighed dramatically, clamping a hand over her heart. Quinn's lip curled in disgust, suddenly deciding that she liked Noah and Luke better than Luke and Reid.

"Oh hell to the no, white boy- Luke and Noah belong together." Mercedes interjected, earning a bitch-glare from both Kurt and Santana.

"I have to agree with Kurt, here," Santana pointed out, "Reid and Luke have been friends for forever."

"But Noah and Luke have been dating for longer!" Tina stated, earning a thumbs up and a nod from Quinn.

"I think Luke and Reid are pretty, together." Brittany sighed, staring off into space, "But on the other foot-"

"Hand, Brittany." Quinn corrected the other blonde.

Brittany looked confused, "Yeah, you have two of them. On the other foot, Luke and Noah are hot, together. I think Luke should date all three!"

"Aren't there two of them?" Tina asked. Brittany shook her head with a blank look on her face.


"Dude, are you okay?" Wes asked Blaine who was staring off into space, a blank look on his face.

"Yeah." Blaine sighed, "I just realized something."

"And what's that? That the guy you're 'in love with' rejected you?" Noah asked bitterly, "I know how that feels." He mumbled under his breath, earning a glare from Luke, Reid staring off to space, completely oblivious.

"No." Blaine cocked his head and smiled lightly, "I think I like Kurt. I might even love him."

All of the Warblers exchanged worried glances as David took on the job of bursting Blaine's bubble, "Uh, Blaine? You just serenaded Jeremiah. You said you were in love with him. Kurt just had a girl all over him, telling him about when and where they were going to hook up."

"So?" Blaine asked, his face a perfect picture of bliss, "I didn't love Jeremiah: he was just a distraction." At all of the puzzled looks on his teammates' faces, he explained, "I was always in love with Kurt, but I was afraid he didn't need a relationship, so I friend-zoned him. Oh my God, wait-"

"What?" The slightly annoyed group of boys chorused.

"What if he doesn't reciprocate? I shouldn't tell him- no, I should! If I don't, then I'll never get over him-"

"Uh, Blaine?" Kurt's roommate, James started, "You shouldn't profess your seemingly undying love for your best friend."

"Why not?" Blaine's smile faded.

"Duh, Blaine, you've already broken his heart once, by singing to that weird, hippie-looking guy-"

"I'm not going to break his heart, ever again." Blaine stated confidently, "If he does like me in that way-"

"Blaine. Kurt's in love with you. I've heard him talking on Skype with his friends." James looked agitated.

"Really?" Blaine asked, eyes widening and a smile gracing his lips as he stood up and started to walk towards where Kurt and Santana had left.

"Blaine. Look at it this way: You think you're in love with Kurt, because Kurt's suddenly changed how he looks-"

"That's not true!" Blaine practically yelled at Kurt's roomie, "I love everything about him- his laugh, his smile, his eyes, the way he snorts when I say something funny, his hair, how his face lights up when talking about his friends, his love for fashion, his passion about what he believes in, his wittiness, his-"

Most of the Warblers looked impressed, whereas James looked more irritated, "Blaine, I get that. I really do. But what if you decide that you like this Kurt better than the one we all know. Huh? What if you just get his hopes up and break his heart, again? Just- I care about Kurt. My girlfriend does too, and I'm sure she'd agree. Just spend a few weeks thinking about your feelings to make sure."

Blaine looked defeated, "Okay."


"So- Ooh, look! There they are!" Tina squealed as the Warblers approached, looking confused.

"Is the stalker in sight?" Kurt asked, out of the corner of his mouth.

Santana nodded, "The one in the green t-shirt."

"Huh... He's not actually bad looking." Rachel pursed her lips as Santana looked at her in disgust, but shook her head. This had to work.

She nodded at Kurt, who caught James' eye and nodded, mouthing, 'It's starting.'

Kurt placed a boombox that Santana had brought down there, with a CD of the songs that she had elected for Kurt to serenade her with.

Kurt caught the stalker's eye and smirked, pressing the play button. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach as the opening notes played.

He grabbed the attention of the shoppers, by cocking his head back and forth. He started towards Santana, who was smiling deviously.

"There she goes
My baby walks so slow
Sexual tic-tac-toe
Yeah I know we both know
It isn't time, no
But could you be m-mine?"

Kurt stared at her with puppy-dog eyes, and a small yet sexy pout.

"We'll never get too far
Just you, me and the bar
Silly menage a trois, sometimes"

He winked at her, causing her to giggle. He spun around in a perfect 180 turn, Brittany, Lauren and Tina backing him up. He glanced at Blaine as a few onlookers started harmonizing, out of the blue, some with cameras. Blaine looked shocked - as all of the Warblers did- at Kurt's sassy and rough voice. Kurt got onto one knee as he kissed Santana's hand.

"Would you be m-mine?
Would you be m-mine?
Would you be m-mine?"

Kurt hit unbelievable notes as Rachel and Mercedes started singing in the background.

"Oh baby, light's on
But your mom's not home
I'm sick of laying down alone, hey
With this fever, fever, yeah
My one and own
I wanna get you alone
Give you fever, fever, yeah"

Kurt lifted both eyebrows in a suggestive movement as he spun around Santana, singing into her ear.

"There it goes
You stole my soul and so
'Cause, sweetheart
No-no-nobody a-kno-kno-knows me
Or can find
Time to be m-mine, mine"

Kurt shrugged and tilted his head slightly as he pulled Santana's hips into his.

"Lets get inside your car
Just you, me and the stars
Kind of menage a trois, sometimes"

Brittany got a few of her dancing class friends to come, so they all had an incredible choreography planned out.

"Would you be m-mine?
Would you be m-mine?
Would you be m-mine?"

Santana's laughed as Kurt hit notes that were impossible for Rachel to hit, the expression on Rachel's face being pure comedy to her.

"Oh baby, light's on
But your mom's not home
I'm sick of laying down alone, hey
With this fever, fever, yeah
My one and own
I wanna get you alone
Give you fever, fever, yeah"

Kurt stopped on one knee as a group of approximately 200 shoppers applauded.

"San, honey. The reason I've been so distant for the past few weeks was only because I've been planning this. I can only hope that you'll forgive me and you'll just be you, because you are the sweetest, hottest, wittiest, most talented and smartest girl I've ever met. I am blessed to have you in my life, and I just-" Kurt's voice cracked with unshed tears, due to his acting skills, "I just love you."

A few girls in the audience 'aww'ed as Santana blinked and a tear rolled down her cheek, "Kurt... I love you, too." Santana swiftly nodded as Kurt stood up and grabbed her into his arms.

She latched her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist as she smashed her lips against his. Kurt would've immediately recoiled, but he mingled his tongue with hers as he thought of other thoughts, curious as to what flavor of lip gloss she was wearing.

Whoops and cat-calls emerged from the audience as Santana began clawing her hands up Kurt's shirt, mumbling, "Let's continue this later," Just loud enough so that the audience could hear. Kurt set her down and glanced at the Warblers.

"So..." Kurt started in his deep voice, "What did you all think?"

End Notes: Soooo tell me what you guys think? :)

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Oh my god I love this story!!!! You're a fantastic writer and this story is amazing! Plus all the avpm refferences hahaha yesss. love this! keep writting please <333