Operation: Fake Boyfriend
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Operation: Fake Boyfriend: The Stalker


E - Words: 1,996 - Last Updated: Aug 27, 2012
Story: Closed - Chapters: 3/? - Created: Aug 14, 2012 - Updated: Aug 27, 2012
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Author's Notes: Hey lovely readers! This story was originally the property of the brilliant 'RayvnAshes2'- and I assume it still is- and Raven has given me the blessing to adopt the first chapter and idea of her brilliant story! You rock, Raven! :D And yes, I named two dating Warblers after Luke and Reid from 'As the World Turns'. Deal with it. ;)

It was just before the Warblers were about to walk into the GAP to serenade Jeremiah, and Kurt had just found out that he was not the one Blaine was going to sing to. He sighed, knowing he shouldn't have gotten his hopes up for him to have someone to spend Valentine's Day with. However, before he could get too depressed, he was bombarded with hugs and squeals, and was suddenly on the ground.

Blaine grinned at Kurt in a mixture of nervousness and uneasiness. Kurt, despite being hopelessly in love with the boy, gave him a reassuring smile, "Don't worry, Blaine: He'll love you."

Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand in gratitude, quickening Kurt's heartbeat, "Thanks, Kurt."

Kurt's heart broke as he forced a close-lipped smile, "No biggie."

As the Warblers made their way towards the GAP, Blaine inhaling and exhaling loudly with Kurt's hand on his shoulder, footsteps approached them.


"Kurt!" Seven voices shouted in unison, all excited. Kurt looked up to see the girls from New Directions. All of them were there; Mercedes, Quinn, Santana, Brittany, Tina, Rachel, and Lauren, the newest member who Kurt had recently gotten to know via phone calls and Skype conversations. He had also developed a bond with her over their love of cars.

"What are you girls doing here?" he asked with a laugh, hopping up from the ground and hugging them all happily. He hadn't known Lauren very long, but he had certainly missed her, too. To Hell with Dalton's No-Bullying Policy, they didn't have Kurt's girls, so it wasn't home. It never would be, no matter how much he liked Blaine. He had been getting his confidence back, and was almost to the level he had been before high school-when all of his confidence was torn down due to names and dumpster dives. The confidence he'd had when facing jocks before was mostly faked.

Kurt's confidence was nearly shattered when the only boy he had ever really loved was in love with someone else: If it were last year, and Finn was the one who was going to serenade someone else on Valentine's Day, Kurt would've tried to sabotage it in every way possible. But with Blaine, everything was different. Blaine was Kurt's best friend, and Kurt just wanted him to be happy.

"We were looking for outfits tonight for Breadstix." Rachel laughed, hugging him tightly with a bright smile on her face, mirrored by the others. They had all missed him so much. Other than Brittany and Mercedes, they hadn't realized how important Kurt was to them all until he had transferred. Oh, they were planning revenge on Karofsky. And it would be amazing.

"After I'm done here can I help?" Kurt asked hopefully, motioning to the store that they were still next to. Oh, right. The Warblers. He looked at them to see that they all had bemused and surprised expressions on their faces, staring at the beautiful girls that Kurt knew so well. He knew he'd have requests for the Cheerios' phone numbers the moment the girls were gone, and sighed.

"Please!" Quinn chirped up suddenly from beside Mercedes. "We all know you could do it better than we can." The girls all nodded in agreement, even Lauren.

"And I also need your help, Porce." Santana admitted from beside Brittany, who had just jumped at Kurt and was now kissing all over his face as he made sure she wouldn't fall down. Blaine nearly did a double take as Brittany began sucking Kurt's face off. Was Kurt bi? Why did Blaine's chest hurt so much, at the thought? Blaine shrugged it off. Must've been that bad taco. Blaine reassured himself as he thought back to imagining running his fingers through Jeremiah's hair.

"Some asshole from H&M has been hassling me all day, and won't take 'No' for an answer. I thought you could help with that." Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"I'm going to have to pretend to be your boyfriend, won't I?" he asked, nodding unsurprised as she nodded. "I can do that. But there's no way I'm doing anything of the sort in this damn uniform." He looked down at himself in disgust, and the few Warblers who heard him looked down at their own uniforms defensively.

"We have got to get you out of that blasphemy those Daltonites call a uniform." Mercedes said, eying him up and down critically. Kurt laughed.

"You mock us, sir!" Thad piped up.

"Oh hell to the no!" Mercedes began, "Who are you calling a 'sir', white boy?"

Thad gulped as Luke elbowed him, glancing over at Reid lovingly. "Er, nobody, Miss."

Rachel disguised her chuckle as a cough, as Wes did.

"I'm a Daltonite now am I?" he teased, and all of the Warblers were shocked about how much he relaxed around his New Directions friends: Kurt was usually so modest and shy during rehearsal.

"No." Brittany said, with a serious expression on her face. "You, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, are my Dolphin, not a bird. You are no Hogwarts-reject boy. You are too awesome for that." Kurt looked surprised but smiled at her as he hugged her again. The other Warblers were confused. Her dolphin? What?

"Who are they?" Santana interjected, nodding her head at the Warblers, biting her lip slightly as her eyes darkened a bit. "Because they look like fresh meat, Hummel: If you aren't banging them, I will."

Kurt scolded her with a 'Santana!', but complied, "Oh, right. Boys, this is the fierce Santana Lopez, the talented but conceited Rachel Berry, the amazing and fabulous Mercedes Jones, the quiet and super-sweet Tina Cohen-Chang, the unique and bubbly Brittany Pierce, the lovely Quinn Fabray, and the kick-ass Lauren Zizes." Kurt introduced. Then he started introducing the Warblers.

"There's Blaine, Wes, David, Jeff, Nick-" Kurt said, nodding to the Warblers in questions. He was cut off as Santana and Brittany grabbed his arms and dragged him away with them-presumably to buy a more suitable outfit for Operation: Fake Boyfriend.

"Um, apparently I'm going now." Kurt calls back to the Warblers, amused. "See you all later! And good luck, Blaine!" before they disappeared around the corner. He was just so happy to be around his girls that he doesn't even feel that bad about the whole Blaine situation.

The Warblers blinked in shock as all of the remaining girls shrugged and followed the other three.


"So, this guy works at H&M, right?" Kurt said as Santana and Brittany let go of his arms. Santana nodded and they all dragged him into the closest store to find a convincing 'straight' outfit for him to wear.

After a few minutes of all of them looking for something suitable, Brittany walked up to Kurt. "How about this?" she asked, and Kurt looked over it critically and nodded before going off to the dressing room, where all the girls had gathered, and they all shoved him in the little stall.

When he came out, he had dark blue slim jeans-showing off his ass and not leaving much to the imagination in the front either. With that he wore a form-fitting black button down shirt that reached just below the top of the jeans, worn with a dark red silk tie, and black Vans.

"Damn, Kurt." Santana whistled. "Who knew you could beat out Puck for biggest-" he cut her off.

"I know. That's why I usually wore skinny jeans, because they're so tight no one know if it was just the jeans or not. If Puck realized I was bigger than him, I was worried he'd be even worse. Of course, this was back before we became sort-of friends, but I guess its just habit now. I do like these jeans, though." Kurt said thoughtfully, examining himself in the mirror as the girls all nodded their heads in agreement.

"Of course, the arm muscles that shirt shows is no surprise." Quinn said, biting her lip thoughtfully as she looked him up and down. "But damn, you look totally supermegafoxyawesomehot!" Again, all of the girls nodded in agreement.

Kurt grinned at them, "A Very Potter Musical? Seriously, girls?"

Quinn punched him lightly on the shoulder, "Don't think we didn't see you ogling Darren Criss and Joey Richter!"

Kurt blushed and shook his head, "Point taken."

Once Kurt had changed back into his uniform and paid for the clothes they went to get mousse for Kurt's hair.


As Kurt stepped out of the bathroom in his new clothes, hair sexy as hell with the mousse, the girls' eyes all widened. They knew he looked good in the outfit back at the store, and they'd guessed he'd look hot with his hair like that, but together, HOLY SHIT!

Kurt grinned as he spun around in a full circle for the girls.

Santana licked her lips, "You want some practice with the kiss?"

Kurt looked baffled, "What kiss?"

Brittany giggled, "If you want to be her boyfriend, you have to act like a shark, not just look like one, silly!"

Santana nodded, "Meaning that after you serenade me, you will have an intense make-out session with me, in public."

Kurt gulped, "I guess I can do that." He shuffled uncomfortably.

Rachel shrugged, "Well, think of it this way: You might make Blaine jealous."

"I wish." Was Kurt's response. The rest of the girls went towards the mall cafeteria after Santana asked to be alone with Kurt.


Santana touched his shoulder, looking into his eyes, "Kurt... Let's go on a real date, tonight."

Kurt's gaze snapped up towards her, "Say what, San? I'm gay."

Santana bit her lip, "I know. I-I am, too. I m-mean lonely."

Kurt was puzzled as he scanned her eyes. He knew what she meant, but wasn't going to comment.

She continued, "We should go as friends, at least. I mean, we're both admittedly hot as hell, and we're single for Valentine's Day."

Kurt chuckled, "Okay, Santana."

Santana took a hold of his arm as they made their way back up the mall escalator, shopping bags in tow -full of Kurt's uniform, of course: he was wearing his 'straight' outfit. As they strolled down the mall, deciding on the song that Santana was going to be serenaded with, they ran into a body of around 15 bodies.

"W-Warblers?" Kurt mumbled, clutching onto Santana's hand.

Santana elbowed him and hissed, "Kurtalicious! What if H&M guy was listening? Talk in your butch voice!"

Kurt rolled his eyes and spoke in a tone of voice nearly as deep as Thad's, "Hey guys, how did it go- wait, where's Blaine?"

"Out talking with Jeremiah." Nick answered gruffly, "Didn't look too good."

"Oh." Kurt was both elated and angry. How could a hippie-haired, ugly, stupid-GAP guy reject anyone as perfect as Blaine Anderson?

Blaine had shown Kurt a picture of 'Jeremiah' and Kurt remembered feeling loathing.

Blaine approached with his head ducked as Wes patted his shoulder.

"Dude, what the hell is up with your voice?" Jeff asked, baffled, "It's all low and shit."

"Personally, I think it's hot." Santana purred as Kurt wrapped an arm around her waist and she rested her head on his shoulder.

Blaine glanced up and did a double-take, "Wha-Kurt?"

Kurt nodded, "That's me." He continued in his deep voice, "Santana thinks I'm more straight when I talk like this."

Santana nibbled on the skin beneath Kurt's ear as he attempted to muffle a moan. "Santana! Cut that out! We're in public!"

Santana drew back as the Warblers exchanged surprised glances with each other. "Aww, don't be such a kill-joy, Hummel. We are going to make out on our date tonight, right?"

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows, "Er, actually the Warblers and I are going to perform, and-"

"Shut it, K. I wants my Hummel on, and I wants it on tonight." She started in her 'Lima Heights Adjacent' voice, "You. Me. The backseat of your Navigator, tonight."

Kurt gulped, "Uh... Um.. Okay, I guess."

Santana pecked him on the cheek, "Knew you would cave, honey. Now excuse us, Garglers, we have to meet the other girls for lunch."

"Ah, wait! Guys, I'll serenade her in the center of the mall - near the Starbucks- in about a half an hour, if you guys wanted to watch. Then, I'll go slap stupid-hair guy for you, Blaine."

Blaine's lips quirked up at the nickname and at the sentiment as Santana dragged Kurt upstairs.


 

End Notes: I hope you guys liked this -especially you, Raven- and if you have any song suggestions for the Kurtana serenade, suggest away! Thanks lovelies! Please review! Peace Out! :D

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This is so cool, I'd love to read more of it!