Feb. 29, 2012, 7:08 p.m.
Forgive Me: Chapter 1
E - Words: 2,772 - Last Updated: Feb 29, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 6/6 - Created: Feb 10, 2012 - Updated: Feb 29, 2012 1,098 0 6 0 1
The sound of bed springs prompted Blaine to tilt his head towards the figure beside him. He felt the bed give a little as the man pushed off the mattress. He cocked an eyebrow before speaking, “Leaving already?”
“I’ve got to meet Wes downstairs in the lobby, we have to attend three blissful hours of topographic maps and bullet points. Aren’t you supposed to attend?” the man replied while tugging his briefs on.
“I don’t think so, must be strictly your department.” Blaine shuffled his body upward to lay his back against the headboard.
“We can meet afterwards I guess. Maybe some coffee?” The man smirked brightly.
Blaine’s face flashed with a bit of unease at the mention of coffee dates, “I don’t think I can... I’m heading home in a few hours.”
Through a stroke of pure coincidence Blaine’s cellphone blasted with life, it’s screen brightly displaying: Kurt.
Blaine nearly jumped with surprise at the interruption and quickly cradled the phone to his ear. Before answering, he gave his buddy a quick look of warning and put his finger to his lips, asking for silence.
“Hey, honey.” Blaine shifted uncomfortably in his bed. “Oh, yes. Yeah, I was just about to head home. I’m going to check out in a few minutes.”
The man shot a disapproving look to Blaine while fastening his tie and grabbing his suitcase beside the bed.
“Right. Okay. I know. I know.” Blaine’s tone became increasingly impatient. His face contorted in pain for a moment before he replied, “Love you too. Bye.” He slapped his cellphone on his side table before running his hands through his short locks of dark hair.
“What’s the bitch want now?” The man sighed to Blaine.
“Kurt. His name’s Kurt.” Blaine snapped, “I promised I’d take a trip back to Ohio with him tomorrow. I completely forgot.”
“What? We’re suppose to try that new Italian restaurant down the street from my apartment remember? Can’t you cancel it or something?”
“Sebastian.” Blaine let out an exasperated sigh, “You know I can’t.”
Sebastian rolled his eyes in annoyance, “Fine, when you’re done with your bland husband, hit me up.” he strolled out of the hotel room, shutting the exit firmly behind him.
Blaine ran his hand through his locks again, at this rate he was going to lose all his hair. He rolled off his bed then proceeded to collect his attire scattered across the hotel floor. Once his outfit was fully recovered, he headed to the shower. The presence of scalding water however, did little to wash away the tight knots in his back and the soap he scrubbed vigorously against his skin did little to wash away the feeling of dirtiness he felt seeping from his pores. Blaine grunted in resignation, before stepping outside of the shower onto the cold bathroom tiles. He wrapped a warm towel around his waist, staring at the foggy mirror before him. Bunching his hand into fist, he rubbed the mirror to make a complete circle. He stared at his reflection for a second, accessing any noticeable change in his features.
Blaine looked exactly the same, and for some reason this disturbed him. Shouldn’t he look different? He felt different, he felt like he had changed. He rolled his neck for a second, trying to remove a kink. He glanced down at pristine bathroom counter and gripped the golden ring laying there. He slipped the ring onto his finger gently and gazed questioningly at it, as if expecting it to begin ridiculing him.
Blaine needed to stop this. He needed to stop now. He didn’t want to become that type of man, but somehow he had. Somewhere between his exhausting business schedule and adoring stay-at-home husband, he found time for an affair.
His betrayal hadn’t originally started off as an affair, first it was just innocent... honest to god innocent lunch breaks with a co-worker. Somehow, on a rough day he had reached out for help in the worst possible place: Sebastian Smythe. Blaine letting off steam about a small bicker between him and Kurt lead to a steamy make-out session with Sebastian, and that steamy make-out session lead to sex, and that sex lead to a full blown affair.
It was about Blaine’s work schedule, Blaine remembered. Kurt loved raising Lily their four-year-old daughter and thoroughly enjoyed pampering Blaine with classic homemade dishes, but he sorely missed Blaine’s presence. Keeping Blaine’s dinner warm eventually caught up to Kurt and he began to hint more and more about Blaine possibly taking a break to have “family time” as he had put it.
Blaine agreed initially, but something had come up. His boss had given him a big presentation, he knew he couldn’t refuse. He was sure this would be the final factor to boost his career even further. Kurt couldn’t understand and refused to, which lead to an ugly fight with unnecessary insults thrown from both sides. But this fight, Blaine knew deep down, could not even atone for a fraction of his sin.
As Blaine braved the path towards home, he decided this was it then, he’d stop. Blaine wouldn’t mention a word of it to Kurt, he could not. He had no idea what Kurt’s reaction would be, but he knew he couldn’t fathom the idea of Kurt losing trust in him. It was Blaine’s duty as Kurt’s husband and Lily’s father to keep the family safe, keeping this from them was for the better... at least that’s what he told himself.
“Blaine!” Kurt rushed excitedly to his husband, embracing him in a tight hug.
“Hey, honey.” he responded. His voice slightly muffled by his husband’s shoulder.
Kurt smiled and stepped back, “I missed you.”
Blaine shut the door behind him. “I missed you too.” Blaine responded, before shifting awkwardly.
Kurt shot a confused glance at Blaine’s stature before calling out to their daughter, “Lily! Your dad’s home!” Kurt rushed towards the parlor, Blaine in tow.
Their daughter sat in the livingroom, sitting Indian style in the dim light of their television. She turned her head, quietly accessing the men at the entrance of the parlor, before rushing forward to hug Blaine’s leg. Lily was a quiet girl, she settled for tightly gripping her father’s leg instead of screaming in delight.
Blaine smiled down at her before swooping her up into his arms, “Hey sweetie!” He nuzzled his nose to hers before admiring her cute dress, “Is daddy dressing you up again?” he turned to Kurt who blushed furiously, before walking out into the kitchen.
“Daddy and I played dress-up all day.” Lily responded quietly.
“Oh? Did you have fun? Or did daddy?” Blaine held back a smile.
“I had tons of fun, but I missed you daddy.” She squirmed a bit in her father’s arms, “Where did you go?”
Blaine blinked a few times, collecting his thoughts quickly, “I had to work sweetie.”
“You always have to work daddy.” Lily frowned.
Blaine gave her a sympathetic smile, “Don’t worry. We’ll be going on a trip. For an entire week.” Blaine emphasized the amount of time. It was the most he’d taken off in five years. “We’re going to visit grandpa and grandma. How does that sound?”
Lily’s face beamed with joy, “Really daddy!?”
“Really. Now come on, I think daddy’s waiting for us in the kitchen.” Blaine gently placed Lily back on her feet before steering her into the kitchen.
“Mhmmm.” Blaine hummed appreciatively at the aroma of his husband’s meal.
“I made some chicken casserole tonight and chocolate dobash for dessert.” Kurt happily served dinner to his small family then settled down to eat himself. He twirled his fork into his food and popped a portion into his mouth.
“It’s delicious. Thank you Kurt.” Blaine spoke with his cheek half full.
Lily followed suite, “It’s del-deli-delicious daddy!” she adoringly struggled to pronounce delicious.
“Thank you, I got the recipe from Rachel... ‘cept she uses some substitute meat for the chicken.” Kurt turned his attention to Blaine across the table, “So, how has work been? Nice hotel?”
Blaine choked a bit on his casserole before taking a big gulp of water, “Same old. Average hotel room.” he decided to stay blunt.
“They seem to be keeping you away a lot now, three years ago you didn’t have to take any business trips at all.” Kurt spoke conversationally.
“Yeah.” Blaine replied lamely.
x-x-x
“...and a left here.” Kurt spoke, looking down at the map splayed across his lap.
Blaine turned on the blinker, turning into a different road. “How much further?”
“Shouldn’t be too long, we’re entering Ohio soon. We’ll probably get there before midnight.”
Kurt craned his neck outside of the car window, the wind whipping through his hair. It was sunset and the sky was tinted in a beautiful orange, signaling the closing of day. The clouds were starting to roll in, creating an overcast.
Blaine couldn’t help but to glance quickly in appreciation at his husband in that precise moment, Kurt smiling at the sky, his brown hair sloppily blowing over his face.
Kurt tucked his head back into the car before the first few droplets of rain hit the windshield, he rolled up the window before any water could enter.
“Looks like a storm is on it’s way.” Kurt sighed.
An hour later, Kurt was proven right. It was like someone was literally pouring buckets of water into their view and the ringing crack from the thunder every other minute kept Lily wide awake. The road was getting darker and darker as they progressed towards their destination.
“We should pull over. The map says there is a motel an hour down this road.” Kurt sighed, eyeing the dreary weather outside. Lightening flashed in the distance. “We can just extend the trip another day, push the dates back.”
Blaine squinted out the drivers window, taking deep caution driving down the windy roads near the forest. He nearly agreed with Kurt’s suggestion, but remembered the business meeting around the exact day they initially planned to return. “We can’t. Business meeting.” he spoke.
“Well, tell your boss there’s a storm. I’m sure he’ll understand.” Kurt reasoned.
“I can’t.” Blaine tightened his grip on the steering wheel.
“Look, it’s past eleven. Lily can’t go to sleep and these roads are dangerous even without the rain. Just pull over at the motel.”
“We don’t need to. We’ll make it there in three hours and Lily will eventually fall asleep. Right sweetie?” Blaine glanced to their daughter in the back seat.
Kurt paused, flabbergasted for a minute. No. He was tired of letting this go, tired of business coming before family. Not this time. “No.” Kurt spat stubbornly, “We’re pulling over Blaine. It won’t kill you to miss a meeting if you call your boss up tomorrow. I’m sorry, but I’m really not comfortable driving in this storm.”
“Driving? You are not comfortable driving? I’m driving!” Blaine seethed “I’ve been driving for four fucking hours! If I say we’re getting there today, we’re getting there today! I’m tired of you shoving my work aside like it’s not important. Somebody has make the money in this family, it sure hasn’t been you has it!?” Blaine huffed.
Kurt winced, “You didn’t. You promised you wouldn’t. You told me when we decided to raise Lily, you wanted me to stay home. I told you if you wanted me to work, I would. Now you’re attacking me about it?” he spoke softly.
“Don’t push this on me! Of course I’m not going to ask you to start working again, you’re always fucking guilt-tripping me about Lily needing lots of care. Lily can go to school now, she doesn’t have to be homeschooled!” Blaine yelped completely forgetting about his frightened daughter in the back seat.
“I care about Lily, but since when did this argument become about Lily’s education Blaine? I just want to pull over to stay at a motel.” Kurt pointed out.
“Just shut up Kurt.” It was out before Blaine could stop it. He froze for a second. Realizing what he’d just said he snapped his neck towards Kurt direction to apologize, “Kurt I didn’t-”
Just enough time to miss a sharp turn in the road. A screech resounded in the black night, prompting Blaine to turn his head back to see an oncoming truck. He jerked the wheel to swerve away from the vehicle, sending the car into a spin.
Blaine’s heart dropped when he saw he’d just turned into a ditch. The car thrusted foward down a small incline. Blaine didn’t even have time to blink before he felt the impact and heard a small shriek. Blaine closed his eyes before the glass shattered onto his body and the belt around his torso stopped him from flying out the window with a bruising tug. Rain immediately began pouring in through the windows. Blaine took a shuttering breath and a moment of shock before snapping into action.
Blaine hastily unbuckled his seat belt, “Kurt!?” Blaine snapped to his left, “Lily?”
“Daddy!” Lily sobbed from the back seat.
Blaine turned to see Lily, but stopped cold. Even with unrelenting rain, he could see clearly the passenger’s side of the car took the brunt of the damage. A few small branches lay scattered on the hood of the car around a gigantic dent that hugged a tree. Kurt sat completely unmoving, head matted with blood leaning against the shattered glass of his window, the dashboard trapping the lower half of his body. Blaine let out a sob of fear for his husband before prying open his door, ignoring the remaining glass that dropped onto his arms.
“Lily, hold on.” He swung the back door open, unbuckling and removing Lily from her seat. He gripped her tightly before stepping out into the rain “Are you hurt?” he demanded.
“No, but daddy...” Lily turned to see Kurt, but Blaine stepped in her view.
“Don’t look, Lily. You stay still until I say you can move Lily. This is important. Don’t look.” Blaine led Lily to the back of the car, removing his jacket before wrapping it around Lily. “Use this to stop the rain.”
Blaine practically sprinted to the passenger side of car, “Kurt!?” he shouted over the rain pelting on the metal of their car. He gripped the door of the car and was surprised to find even in it’s indecent shape it opened with ease. Blaine gripped Kurt’s shoulder, making sure he didn’t slump out of the car. The patch of skin under Blaine’s palm felt completely cold, “Oh God, Kurt?” Blaine cried.
A light momentarily flashed in Blaine’s eyes followed by a man’s voice, “I’m calling 911!” he assumed it was the man who was driving the truck.
Blaine turned to see the driver steadily coming down the incline the car went down, cellphone in hand. He turned back to Kurt, feeling the pulse in his neck. Kurt’s pulse was faint, barely sustaining life in his mangled body. “Kurt?” Blaine repeated.
“Is he dead?” the truck driver looked warily into the passenger’s side of the car.
“I-I feel a pulse. J-Just tell them hurry.” Blaine’s voice broke.
While the man began giving directions to the ambulance, Blaine swiped a wad of hair stuck to Kurt’s forehead with blood, “Sweetheart?” Blaine choked. He knelt next to the car and gripped Kurt’s head firmly in his hand, “Not now Kurt.” Blaine pleaded, “Please, not now. I can’t. Please Kurt, don’t leave me. Don’t leave us!”
Kurt didn’t respond.
“Daddy!” Blaine felt Lily tugging at his arm.
“I told you-” Blaine felt tears hot against his cheeks, “I told you to stay in back of the car Lily! You don’t want to see this.”
“They should be here in five minutes.” the man peered over Blaine and his daughter.
By now everyone was soaked to the bone, including Kurt’s limp body. Emergency forces arrived soon after, taking a significant amount of time attempting to bend the metal off of Kurt.
Blaine felt utterly helpless watching, he couldn’t do anymore for Kurt. Once he and Lily got into the ambulance, he could only sit and watch as orders were being shouted across the van and view things he couldn’t understand going on with tubes, needles, gauze bandages, machines... All that mattered was that this would help Kurt.
Blaine wanted to hold Kurt’s hand, to hold his husband’s hand, because he knew this could possibly be the last time he ever could, but even that was not permitted at the moment. Blaine sunk his face into the palms of his hands, his soul mate was on the brink of death.
Comments
Oh my goodness, please finish this! This is amazing and so sad. I feel like crying!
I really like the plot of this story. Looking forward to more. The whole car scene until the end of the chapter was very intense.
Oh my god this is making me so sad:'( don't die Kurt :0
oh my gosh this is so so so good. I hope that the angst continues a little... maybe blaine could find out that kurt had been contacted a number of times to go back to work, but he had said no cause that was their agreement, and/or kurt had been hit on a number of times and had always said no.... anyway please update soon
Oh my word! This is excruciating!! You have me with knots on my throat! Kurt!!!!
Oh thank you for the hopeful ending. My goodness, I love this fic. I couldn't have handled a divorce. Seriously. Thanks for sharing this!