UniqueStarkidGleek
May 17, 2012, 1:30 p.m.
Changed Plans: Kurt
M - Words: 1,125 - Last Updated: May 17, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 1/? - Created: May 17, 2012 - Updated: May 17, 2012 180 0 0 0 0
Kurt had a hard life; he was beaten up, slushied, threatened. You name it, he probably went through it. But sometimes, just sometimes, you're given a silver lining, one little thing that helps you hold on, helps you get through. Blaine was Kurt's silver lining.
He'd never told anyone how... hard his life was, he never told anyone what their words made him feel. Pathetic, degraded, worthless, abnormal. He never told Puck that, while he was trying, Kurt still resented him - not just for the bullying, for the fact that he was normal in the eyes of society. Kurt... well Kurt wasn't normal, at least he didn't think he was, and neither did a huge population of the world. Kurt resented Finn too, resented him for being able to bond with his father the way he never could. He resented Carol, though he loved her he really did, for replacing his mother, though he knew he shouldn't, she was probably going to end up being his step-mother soon. Sometimes, when he was having a really bad day, he even resented his mother, he resented her for leaving, he resented her for not bring him with her, he resented her for being able to leave this god forsaken planet... but most of all; he missed her.
Kurt wrote letters to her. He wrote them in classes (carefully coded or written in perfect French, so nobody could read them, of course), he typed them, hand writ them, sometimes he recorded them. He did it as a way to connect to her. Sure, sometimes he wished he could speak to her, sometimes he longed for her advice, he longed to be able to gush about boys to someone, and he longed for the safe feeling of her hugs, her smell, her voice, her eyes, her presence, her love. Sometimes when life got particularly bad, when his sorrows drowned him, when he missed her so much it physically hurt, he sneaks into his dad's room, opened the draws of his mother’s dresser, lies on the floor and just... smells her...
He wrote to her the first time he was thrown into the dumpsters on the first day of freshman year, he wrote to her the first time someone called him a fag, He wrote to her the first time his cut, he wrote to her when he joined glee, he wrote to her when he planned to try out for the Defying Gravity solo, he wrote to her when his dad got that call, he wrote to her when they one sectionals, he wrote to her when they lost regionals, he wrote to her when his dad had his heart attack, he wrote to her when his whole life crumbled down… and he was writing to her now.
Dear Mom,
Puck doesn’t seem to understand, the whole point of this stupid Boys vs. Girls task is to be the OPPOSITE. I mean sure maybe not leopard skin and feathers but seriously, IT'S NOT LIKE I PROPOSED PINK AND GLITTER! Just, it's all so... frustrating sometimes, finally a task I can be good at and all Puck says is to ‘go visit the garglers'. First of all, it's the Warblers, and second of all, why can't he do it himself? Why can't he make himself useful? Because it's a 'gay school' bull shit, sorry, I just... why are there so many double freaking standards in the world! It's not A GAY SCHOOL it’s a Prep school with a zero-tolerance bullying program, I told you about it last year, I kind of wish I'd asked dad to send me too it like I told you I would. I wouldn't be here writing this if I had, I might have a boyfriend by now, have a competition solo under my belt, have achieved SOMETHING, but I'm stuck here, in the hell hole of Mckinley.
Why can't I be like Finn, or Puck, hell even Artie has it easier than me!
I can’t do this anymore Mom, I can’t…
I'm going to visit the Warblers, like Puck told me... but after that... let's just say... if heaven exists I'll be seeing you soon
Yours,
Kurt
He had it all planned, his dad won't be back until eight at the earliest, he'd only be at Dalton until 5 (he'd left right after Puck's speech), enough time to get home from there and get everything ready. He was going to make it last - the pain - he deserved it after all, he was an abomination, he was wrong, abnormal. He had written all the letters to the Glee club, he explained why he chose to do this, unlike how he chose his sexuality, he wrote to his dad, apologising, he didn't really need to write to his Mom to explain, he'd told her everything already, and, if an afterlife existed, he would see her soon, unless, of course, everyone was right and he was going to hell. He shuddered whenever he thought of that, he hadn't done anything wrong, not purposely anyway, and he was damned to an eternity of Hitler? He chose to push those thoughts away.
As quickly as he could Kurt changed into the closest thing he had to the Dalton uniform, which was hardly a good match. He tucked the letters in the draw of his desk, slipping the letter to his Mom in the folder with the others, smiling slightly when an old one - written messily with crayon, drawing littering the margins - fell out. He stuffed it back in, closing the draw and gathering his keys and bag, before rushing out the car and starting the two hour drive to Dalton Academy. He didn’t listen to music.
Once he got there it was surprisingly easy to sneak in through the front gates and in to the school itself. He wandered around for a while, just soaking in the feel of the place, it was old, and seemed like something straight out of the Harry Potter books, with its chandeliers and numerous staircases.
He walking down a staircase just after a bell signalled, what seemed to be, the end of the day - it was at Mckinley anyway – when he noticed that everyone seemed to be moving in the same direction.
He spotted someone who was glancing at a pocket watch - no, seriously, a pocket watch - and decided to ask him what all the fuss was about.
"Excuse me!" The boy turned around, and his jaw seemed to drop open "Can I ask you a question? I'm new here."
"My name's Blaine"
"Kurt"
And when that... spark rushed up their adjoined hands, Kurt decided that maybe... just maybe, there was a reason to be alive after all. That moment, he changed his plans, and little did he know, but Blaine changed his too...
End Notes: this just... popped into my head, It's midnight here and I have school but I wanted to post it so... here it is, will write Blaine's side, and maybe the letter's to Glee :) Hope you all enjoyed and please review, it would mean the world to me to know people have read my story :D also my HTMLing has gone slightly weird so sorry, did try to change it but it won't fix :S Hopefully it looks ok to all of you