March 3, 2014, 6 p.m.
Higher Education: Week 6 Lecture Topic: Gender Roles
E - Words: 1,133 - Last Updated: Mar 03, 2014 Story: Complete - Chapters: 13/? - Created: Feb 20, 2014 - Updated: Feb 20, 2014 150 0 0 0 0
Kurt read and reread the paper. Sighing, he wrote across the top of Blaine's assignment, Please come see me during office hours; C-.
Kurt didn't get it. Blaine had been his top student all semester, but, suddenly, something was off. Blaine no longer participated in class. He slumped in his chair and stared out the window. If Kurt asked him a direct question, his mumbled response was invariably, “I don't know.” Now he had turned in an assignment that was far below the standards of anything he had turned in so far. Kurt didn't know what to do, but maybe if Blaine talked to him, Kurt could help.
A few days later, there was a knock on the meeting room door, and Kurt looked up expecting to see Unique, who had taken to showing up for most of Kurt's office hours, primarily just to talk. Instead of Unique, however, it was Blaine.
Kurt's heart squeezed painfully as he looked at Blaine, who had dark circles under his eyes and an expression so sad that Kurt's inner puppy let out a little whine. Kurt faked normalcy and said with forced cheerfulness. “It's good to see you, Blaine. Have a seat.” He gestured to one of the hard chairs opposite him.
“You wanted to see me, Professor Hummel?”
Kurts heart sank at hearing the formal address. He thought he liked being called professor, but he didnt like it as much as he liked Blaine calling him Kurt.
Kurt pushed on, “Blaine, I've noticed that you've been struggling in class lately. You were really doing well up until about a week ago, and, well, I just wondered if you were having trouble with the material, or if there was anything I can do.”
“I'm not struggling with the material. I've just been…distracted.”
"Is it Cooper?"
Blaines hangdog expression shifted to one of incredulity, "Oh, God, no. Coopers an ass, but he goes away. Thankfully."
“Is it things in your personal life? I dont want to pry, Blaine, but I do want to get to the bottom of this, if youll let me.”
Blaine just looked at Kurt for a minute. Then he reached into his book bag and pulled out an envelope. It was slightly crumpled as if it had traveled in the backpack for a while. Blaine extended it to Kurt, “I got this in the mail.”
Kurt pulled the letter out of the envelope at Blaines urging. After he read it his eyes went wide, “You got into Harvard Medical School. Wow! Congratulations.”
When Blaine didn't respond, Kurt looked up from the letter and met Blaine's eyes, which were filled with misery. “Or,” Kurt amended, “you got into Harvard Medical School. I'm so sorry.”
At that, Blaine burst into tears and launched himself at Kurt, wrapping his arms around Kurt's neck and sobbing into his neck. Kurt sat rigidly for a moment, then his arms wrapped around Blaine's waist and he began rubbing circles on Blaine's back. “It's OK,” Kurt repeated over and over.
Kurt forced himself to focus on Blaines pain, and he firmly ignored the part of his brain that was sighing over how good Blaine felt in his arms.
After a long moment, Blaine disengaged himself from Kurt and sank back into his own chair. He ran a hand through his riotous curls, making them even more unruly and he gave Kurt a rueful grin. “Getting into Harvard is a stupid thing to be messed up over, right?”
“Well, I'm not sure. Do you not like Harvard? Was that your safety school? Is it all that crimson? Because you do seem to favor brighter shades of red. ”
Blaine laughed sardonically. “It's not the Harvard part. It's the med school part. Everyone in my family is a doctor. My dad is a surgeon. My mom is a pediatrician. Both of my grandfathers on both sides were doctors. Sure, Cooper is an actor—or, at least, he thinks he is—but my parents have made it really clear that he's a massive disappointment.
"They pretended to be supportive when I came out to them, but I could see in their eyes that I had disappointed them, too, and I couldn't bear to do it again. So I'm pre-med, and I get all As. I got really high MCAT scores. I'm completely on track to be a doctor, and maybe…shit, I don't know. Maybe being a doctor will make up for being gay.”
“Being gay isn't something you have to apologize for, Blaine. You didn't choose it.”
“I know, but…are you close to your parents?”
“Yeah. Well, my mom died when I was little, but I'm really close to my dad.”
“Could you stand to disappoint him?”
“No. But, Blaine, my dad would never be disappointed in anything I did that made me happy. I'm sure your parents don't want you to be unhappy either. And I'm guessing that what you're saying to me is that being a physician--going to med school--isnt what will make you happy.”
“No, I don't want to be a doctor.”
“What do you want to be?” As Kurt asked this question, he reached for the Diet Coke that was on the room's small desk and took a sip.
“I want to be a librarian.”
Kurt executed a perfect spit take, spraying the desk, some chairs, and Blaine with Diet Coke. “Sorry,” he choked. “A librarian?”
“Yeah,” Blaine laughed. “I get that from people, although they usually say it; they dont spray it.” Blaine wiped the Diet Coke away with his hand. “I love books. I love books and maps, and I love knowledge, and I want to surround myself with it and help people to connect with thoughts. I just love it.” Blaines face began to light up as he talked about his passion.
“Blaine, this school has one of the top library sciences program in the country.”
Blaine's face fell again. “I know. That's why I came here. I took as many information science classes as I could squeeze in, but, with going to medical school and all, I guess that's over.”
“You could apply to their graduate program. You still have a week before the deadline.”
“Im going to med school, Kurt. Thats the plan. Thats always been the plan.”
Kurt reached out and put a hand on Blaine's arm. “You didn't have to come out. You could have spent your life pretending to be straight, living a lie, and making everyone around you comfortable and happy--everyone but you. This is the same thing. Becoming a physician, if that's not your passion, is just living a different kind of lie. It's suppressing who you really are, and it's denying yourself any chance at future happiness.”
Blaine continued to look skeptical.
“Just think about it.”
“I will, Kurt. Thanks.” Kurt squeezed Blaines arm then let go.
“Blaine,” Kurt looked at Blaine with warm, smiling eyes. “Come and see me any time. I'm happy to talk to you as much as you want.”