[mood music]

Kurt and Blaine spent the day together hiking, ducking behind rocks to steal kisses, and eating steaks and potatoes in Maltas only restaurant.  Ordinarily, Kurt would have gone to great lengths to avoid anything remotely like hiking, but with Blaine, he found he liked it.  Kurt desperately wanted to talk more about the possibility of moving to Idaho, but he respected Blaines wishes to have time to think, so he remained mum on the subject. 

When they returned to the ranch, it was already dark, and Kurt turned to go into the lodge, but Blaine put out a hand to stop him. 

"Stay," he said simply, holding out his hand for Kurts.

Kurt smiled softly and laced his fingers through Blaines.  He followed Blaine into the bunkhouse, and Blaine reached for Kurt the minute he stepped through the door.

Their lovemaking that night had an edge of desperation.  Knowing that he would be leaving soon-even if he came back to stay-gave an urgency to their time together.  Kurt mapped Blaines body with his hands, smoothing his palms over the hard planes of Blaines chest, memorizing every contour of his body.  Blaine fed off of Kurts need; his hands and lips never stopped moving over Kurts body. 

When Kurt finally fell over the edge with a choked cry of "Blaine," Blaine crushed his mouth to Kurts and came, too, his body arching and shaking.  "I love you," he whispered over and over as they both came down.  Kurt brushed Blaines sweaty hair back from his face and whispered, "I love you, too, my darling." 

--KB--

When Kurt awoke the next morning, the other side of the bed was cold and there was a note folded on the pillow.  Sitting up, Kurt unfolded it and read:

My dearest Kurt,

I love you; I really do.  But if my parents experience has taught me anything, its that being in love doesnt mean you get to be together forever.  As tempted as I am to say "yes" to your amazingly generous offer to come to Idaho, I cant do it.  A few years ago I gave up my dream, and it nearly killed me.  A part of me died inside, and it took the love of a good man for me to resurrect a small part of who I used to be.  If you give up your dream, a part of you will die.  Broadway needs you, and you need Broadway.  I wont be the man who stands in your way. 

Id like to say that well stay in touch.  We could see each other on holidays and when we can get away, but such a relationship is simply impractical.  Ranching is a 24-7 job, and the type of life you have planned is all-consuming, as well.  Because of this, I think we need a clean break.  When I met you, I put off some business I needed to take care of in Salt Lake City.   I left for there this morning. 

I wont be back, Kurt.  Not before you leave. 

Please dont try to contact me.  I want to remember the time we had together as a perfect moment, unspoiled by the past or the future.  As you go forth with your life, with what Im sure will be an amazing career, and with new love (I know youll find it), know that a part of my heart will always remain with you. 

All my love,

Blaine

Kurt stared at the letter as a pit opened in his stomach and coldness spread through his limbs.  He reread the note several times until his eyes were so filled with tears he could no longer see the letters, then he rose from the bed, dressed himself with numb fingers, and trudged woodenly back to the lodge. 

This couldnt be happening.  How could Blaine just walk away?

As he entered the lodge, Rachel looked up from where she was eating breakfast with Santana, Brittany, and Tina.  It only took one look at Kurts face, and Rachel was up from the table and pulling Kurt into her arms, caressing his back and kissing his temple. 

"Whats wrong?" Rachel asked when Kurt finally pulled away from her. 

Sinking wordlessly into one of the empty chairs at the table, Kurt handed the note to Rachel. 

"Are you okay?" asked Santana, and Kurt waived his hand to indicate that they were all welcome to read the letter.  They looked over Rachels shoulder, and Tina gave a small gasp, her eyes filling with tears. 

"Pendejo!" Santana spit when she finished reading Blaines words.  She shook her head. 

"I dont get it," Rachel said, as she stroked a hand up and down Kurts arm soothingly.  "I thought you were going to ask Blaine to move to New York with us."

"I did," Kurt replied miserably.  "He wouldnt do it.  He said that ranching was the only thing he knew how to do, and it was too late to be a concert violinist."

Santanas mouth set in a grim line, "You know about his dad, right?"

Kurt nodded sadly. 

"After he died, Blaine was so angry at Shelby for not being able to take care of herself.  They would have screaming fights you could hear all the way to the back forty.  He would ask her how she could be so irresponsible-how she could get to her age without having any way to support herself.  He accused her of throwing away their security in order to follow a career that was useless and then not even following through on that.  He wasnt wrong, but it was harsh.

"He developed an almost irrational fear of financial failure after that.  He worked twenty hours a day getting the guest ranch up and running, and he paid off the bank loan in record time.  I also had to stop watching movies with him, because I got sick of hearing lectures about how actors had no usable skills and how they were only one performance away from living on the street.  God, he could be unbearable."

Santana pulled a hand through her hair, "I can see why he wouldnt leave the ranch, but Im sort of surprised he wouldnt jump at the chance for you to come here.  I would think he would want everyone to walk away from performing.  Plus, Ive seen the way he looks at you."

"Kurt, would you really leave New York to come here?" Rachel asked.  "How could you give up everything youve worked so hard at for so long?  You cant just walk away from that.  Its your dream."

Kurt looked at Rachel with pain-filled eyes.  Rachel had walked away from the love of her life to pursue her own passion for performing.  How could he make her understand that his own dreams now felt meaningless without Blaine? 

He opened his mouth, but no words came out. 

Finally, it was Brittany who broke the silence, "If someone loved me, I would totally stay here."

Santanas head snapped up, "You would?"

Brittany smiled softly and nodded her head, her blonde ponytail bouncing with the movement, "I think living here would be awesome."

Color rose in Santanas cheeks and she said nothing for a minute, then she stood up and rubbed a palm in circles over Kurts back for a moment.  "Im sorry, Kurt.  Maybe hell come around."  She looked up at Brittany, "Can I talk to you for a minute?  In private?"

Brittany rose and the two walked out of the lodge, their arms brushing as they went. 

Through Kurts misery, he was still able to feel a small twinge of happiness for the two womens possibilities.  He also realized suddenly that Santana had finally called him by his name. 

Rachel, Kurt, and Tina sat for a few minutes longer not saying anything, and then Tina stood up and squared her shoulders.  "This is unacceptable," she announced fiercely.  Rachel and Kurts heads turned up to look at her.  "You need to fight for him.  Call him.  Text him.  Email him.  Make him see reason.  Show him he shouldnt be scared."  Tina took her phone out of her pocket and held it out to Kurt.  "Call him," she repeated one more time, more forcefully. 

Rather than taking Tinas phone, Kurt pulled out his own phone and called.  It went straight to voicemail.  In a broken voice Kurt choked out, "Blaine, dont do this to us.  Please.  Call me.  I love you." 

Blaine never returned the call. 

--KB--

A few days later, a miserable Kurt and a concerned Rachel were on a plane returning home.  Kurt had called, texted, and emailed Blaine repeatedly, but he didnt answer.  Kurt had even tried other peoples phones, hoping he would pick up, but he didnt. 

Blaine didnt answer the calls of the ranch staff, either.  When they texted him, he responded to the parts of their texts that pertained to ranch business, but he scrupulously avoided responding to their mentioned of Kurt.  He had effectively cut Kurt out of his life, and Kurt felt the cut all the way to his soul. 

Shelby had walked around the lodge with a face like thunder, and she hugged Kurt fiercely every time she saw him. 

As the plane hummed under them, Kurt closed his eyes, and Rachel stroked his arm. 

Tears coursed down Kurts face all the way back to New York City.