Forget Me Not
triddlegrl
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Forget Me Not: Chapter 1


E - Words: 4,223 - Last Updated: Sep 21, 2011
Story: Closed - Chapters: 1/? - Created: Sep 21, 2011 - Updated: Sep 21, 2011
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Blaine often thought about the dark.

He chose the bat as his symbol because it’s a creature of the night,highly accustomed to navigating the darkness. The bat is blind, much like people but the difference between the bat and the average person is that the bat doesn’t depend on its eyes to see.

Maybe the bat has it better.

Now people, people stumble around blind in the same world as the bats do, handicapped by their need to see everything. To believe it then of course it must be seen, and people want to believe that the world is good, that it is brightly lit with a few shadowed corners that the wise do not venture into. This is the unforgivable lie mothers whisper to their children, the delusional day dream people stuff in their heads to appease the panic of being locked in a dark room.

The truth is it’s very dark. The world operates in perpetual night, the darkest night the mind dares fathom, and people don’t, of course, dare to fathom it. There are some things that people just can’t bear to see at all, things too horrific for the mind to comprehend, too ugly for anyone with a scrap of hope in humanity to accept as possible without somehow dulling the blow.

People call that evil.

He has heard what the people say, what even Luis said the day they lowered his parents' bodies into the ground. They all said that it was evil that killed them, evil that sprang out of a dark corner and demanded first his father’s money, and then his life, evil that tore screams from his mothers throat, evil that she clawed at, evil that punched through her; evil that Blaine had run from in blind terror, his mother’s voice shrill like a whistle in his ears as he raced for the right to live.

They told him it was evil and that there was nothing he could have done, for evil was something out of his control, out of everyone’s control. They told this lie not intentionally to do harm, but because horror is so much easier to swallow when it stems from evil, an evil that lurks in the dark waiting to devour without conscience. If evil doesn’t have a face, evil doesn’t have a mother or a father and evil of course knows no love, then it doesn’t have to be examined and hope can go unchallenged.

Blaine lost the luxury of distance, the comfort of blindness afforded to ordinary people because he’d seen the true face of evil the night his parents died. Not clearly, no- the desperate man wielding the gun punching holes into his father, clawing at his mother when she flew at him had moved in a blur, all of it had happened in what seemed the blink of an eye.

After the first shot he’d fallen over his father, as if his tiny body could shield him from further harm. Mother had screamed, throwing herself on the man, fighting with him, everything happening as swift as a flash of lightning while Blaine trembled over his father’s warm figure- willing for father to get up, get up get up!

Only… he never moved, and Blaine had to move away because his tears had begun rolling into his mouth and they were bringing blood with them-he hated the taste. Through the roaring in his ears he’d heard mother scream his name, just his name and nothing else, but it lit a fire inside of him that pulled him up, made him go as if she’d screamed for him to run.

He’d been running as fast as he’d ever run in his life when he heard the second shot, the horrible crack of sound breaking and the snapping of life. He’d been running blindly expecting a third crack, a third bullet, seeing the blurry face of evil in his mind and almost wishing for it, but it never came.

Evil let him run, let him live to bury his parents, let him live to stare at his face in the mirror and see an echo of it etched there.

It’s a lie that evil doesn’t have faces, that it doesn’t have mothers and fathers, that it knows no love.

Blaine knew what most people could not even bring themselves to face. He knew that evil was not born, not some strange mutation, not some monster bred in the dark apart from the things that were good and dwelled in light. Evil was made.

Staring at himself in the mirror the day he buried his parents he’d known truly what it felt like to hate someone. That mugger with the face of evil, who stole what he had no right to steal, Blaine hated him. He wanted to kill him, and that was as simple as it got. He was eight years old, and all the adults he knew thought it was the pain talking, that a boy so young could know nothing truly of hate or the thirst for vengeance. It was too ugly for people to think about, too dark, but Blaine had no choice but to think about it because he knew what they didn’t, that evil had so many faces.

One of them was his.

He could hurt people too. That was the day he’d decided that some people deserved to get hurt, that he had to find that man and stop him and all of the others like him because it could have ended there in the park that night, he could have hurt that man, but instead he’d been too scared. He’d run away and it hadn’t done anyone any good. That man had gotten inside him and destroyed him just the same.

Blaine’s older now and stronger. He’s trained his whole life to be stronger, faster, and smarter than the criminals who plague the streets of Lima City and he has seen a great number of evils.

All of them have faces; all of them have mothers and fathers, and one of them…one of them he even loves.

The man he loves, he wasn’t born evil either. He was made.

----------- June 23rd Blaine is 8 years old--------

Blaine had never seen so many plants in his life, nor had he ever seen a woman quite like Dr. Nora Hummel who looked nothing like Blaine’s own mother, and yet somehow managed to be one of the most beautiful people he’d ever seen in his life. She towered above him much like her trees. Like them, she was in constant motion, moving her hands and swaying slightly as if moved by a breeze, and yet somehow she seemed still and peaceful, a woman at rest.

Blaine had never seen mother less than perfectly tailored in public. Dr Hummel’s white lab coat on the other hand was stained with dirt and some other things Blaine couldn’t even place. Her long chestnut hair was neither glossy nor perfumed like mothers. Instead it looked messy, pulled back in a long pony tail with wispy tendrils escaping every which way as though her hair agreed with Blaine that the greenhouse was actually a jungle and no place for propriety. Things could happen in a place like this.

“Thomas! You made it. We were beginning to wonder if you’d changed your mind.” The tall woman greeted Blaine’s father brightly extending her hands which father gladly took. Blaine thought her smile was very pretty, even if she didn’t wear any lipstick like mother.

“It’s good to see you Thomas.”

“Likewise Nora.” Blaine watched father and the woman exchange polite kisses on cheeks and a brief hug with curiosity. Nora Hummel was a botanist, father had told him. That meant she was a scientist who studied plants. She seemed like the type of person who would, he thought as he watched her. She was entirely at home here in the green house, there was even a leaf stuck in her hair, just over her ear.

Mother’s hair was never out of place, but Blaine thought that he sort of liked this woman and her unkempt appearance. Mother always called him unkempt when he didn’t lace his shoes or button his blazer the right way. It was supposed to be bad, but when the woman smiled down at him Blaine smiled back widely.

“And of course you must be Blaine. I’ve heard a lot about you from your dad.”

Blaine nodded, smile still in place, even though he felt sort of shy the longer she smiled at him. Blaine wondered if he was in love. His mother and his father were in love and his best friend Wes Montgomery was always falling in love but Blaine had never been in love himself before. He didn’t know what it would feel like when it happened.

“Did you make some flowers for my mother?” He asked, biting his lip against the way his stomach felt funny, like ants were crawling over it or someone had let butterflies loose inside.

“Yep, your dad told me just how much your mom likes flowers. My team and I have designed her her very own special flower. I really think she’ll like it.” Nora confirmed with a nod. Blaine really liked the name Nora, it was so pretty. He repeated it in his head a couple of times and thought it sounded a bit like music, something Blaine had always loved.

“Would you like to see what we’ve come up with, Thomas?” Nora asked straightening up to address his father again.

“Of course, of course,” Father quickly agreed, looking about as excited as Blaine felt. It was not every day you got to see a flower that someone made all by themselves. That meant there would be no other flower like his mother's flower in the entire world.

But it wasn’t to be. Blaine never got to go into the lab.

“Blaine will have to stay out here, I’m afraid, the lab isn’t really a place for children.” Nora said apologetically and even though Blaine felt his hopes falling he knew better than to let it show. That was supposed to be rude.

“I understand.” Blaine smiled as brightly as he could manage through his disappointment. “I’ll wait out here for you, Father.”

“You’ll stay right here and you won’t touch anything?” Father asked with a slight frown. Blaine was very mature for his age but he was still only eight and this was an adult workplace.

Blaine was about to promise to do just that, but Nora spoke before he could. She was shaking her head, smiling at Blaine like she knew some secret that he suddenly really wanted to know too.

“Well, that wouldn’t be any fun, would it?” She asked, and Blaine wasn’t sure if it was polite to agree or not, but he nodded anyway after a moment’s hesitation. Both adults chuckled at him so Blaine thought maybe it was okay to be honest.

“Would you like a tour of the green house?” Nora asked. “You could see all of the different kinds of plants we grow here.”

Blaine nodded eagerly, because if he couldn’t go into the lab with Father, at least getting to explore the jungle around them would be exciting. Nora led them to the back of the green house and opened a door that led into a brightly lit room with numerous tables covered in plants. Perched on a counter beside an industrial sized sink was one of the strangest looking boys Blaine had ever seen.

Blaine went to private school where all of the boys and girls dressed the same, and he didn’t have many friends besides Wes and this other boy David from school. He knew what you were supposed to dress like out in public. It was summertime and it was hot but even so Mother made Blaine wear nice trousers and a clean white shirt while out with father. This boy didn’t know how to dress himself at all.

His shorts did nothing to hide the brightly colored socks sticking out of a shiny pair of black and white converse that matched the black bow tie around his neck. Under his suspenders he wore a white shirt like Blaine’s, only he’d rolled up the cuffs, and stuck a power ranger’s sticker on his shoulder. There was also a big glossy bumblebee pinned to one of his suspender straps.

The boy sat balancing a potted plant in his lap and wielding a pair of scissors slightly too big for his small hands. His tongue poked out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrated while he carefully pruned the plant and Blaine wanted to move closer so that he could see better. He didn’t want to break his concentration though, so he stayed put. The strange boy cut off a branch on the plant and smiled triumphantly down at it and Blaine thought he had a smile just like Nora’s.

“Hey sweetheart, would you like to help me out with something?” Nora asked. The boy looked up at them, eyes lingering curiously on Blaine.

“This is Dr. Anderson and this is his son Blaine. Would you mind taking Blaine on a tour while I take Dr. Anderson to the lab?” She asked and the boy nodded, setting the plant aside carefully before climbing down off the counter.

“Just let me clean up first, okay ” the boy responded. Blaine watched him stand on his tip toes and lean over the sink, carefully applying soap and giving his hands a good scrub under the water's flow for a good minute before wiping his hands on his shorts.

“All done?” Nora asked as the boy approached them and when he nodded she leaned down to place a kiss on the crown of his head. Blaine noticed the boy’s hair was the same color as his mothers but unlike hers it was perfectly combed and it looked really soft and shiny, like one of his mother’s silk pillows. Blaine smiled at him, deciding that strange as he might look, like his mother, Blaine didn’t care and he might be in love with him too.

“Hi” the boy said to Blaine, his round cheeks turning slightly pink.

“Hi” Blaine replied eagerly, reaching for his hand to shake just like his parents had taught him. “My name’s Blaine.” The boy’s mouth fell open just a little as he stared at Blaine’s hand as if he’d never been offered a handshake before. Blaine felt kind of silly and wondered for a moment if no one had ever taught this boy how to shake hands, and then the boy giggled under his breath and took Blaine’s hand and he didn’t care so much anymore.

“I’m Kurt. Have you ever been in the green house before?” the boy asked and Blaine thought that Kurt was another name he liked.

“Nope, this is Blaine’s first time” Nora answered for Blaine. “You’ll enjoy yourself. Kurt knows this place almost better than I do. Isn’t that right Kurt?”

“Right. We’ll be fine mommy. Come on Blaine, I’ll show you all of the best parts.” Blaine didn’t know quite what to make of it when the other boy grabbed his hand and pulled him away from his father’s side without giving him a chance to say goodbye.

It wasn’t that Blaine wasn’t usually a happy kid, he was, there was just something so exciting about the strangeness of the greenhouse. It was kind of fun running off with Kurt. Kurt’s hand was warm in his and slightly damp from it's recent washing, but his palms were really soft and Blaine liked the way his fingers felt between his. Exciting as the greenhouse was it was very big and full of strange things that might have scared him if not for the solid grip of the other boys hand in his.

Kurt lead them down marked paths and humidity pressed against them and the scents of citrus and flora washed over them as they left the ordinary and mundane far behind them and stepped into a wild world of possibility.

“That room we were in, that was the green room, it’s where my mom and I do a lot of replanting and sprucing while the plants are still young and stuff.” Kurt explained, gesturing with his head to the room they were quickly leaving behind them.

“And these over here lining the pathway these are abutilon x hybridum, only you can call them flowering maple because that's easier, and those are cane-stemmed begonias.” Kurt pointed out the different flowers and trees as they went along, enthusiastically undertaking the role of tour guide.

Blaine listened intently and unlike in school he didn’t have to feign interest. Kurt used big words sometimes that he didn’t understand, but he talked like what he was saying was something so important everyone should know about it and Blaine actually really wanted to know everything he knew.

“What do you call these?” He asked when Kurt paused in front of a row of tall flowers growing on thick pale green stems. The stems sported a cloud of tiny flowers with bright blue petals that Blaine really liked. Blue was one of his favorite colors.

“Anchusa capensis, the blue angel” Kurt answered, leaning down to press his face close to the bright flowers. “They’re summer forget-me-nots, only not really, they just look like them. They’re from Africa and they used to be my favorite.”

“What’s your favorite now?” Blaine asked curiously. Kurt looked up from the flowers and Blaine thought they made his eyes look just as blue.

“Adenium obesum Miranda” Kurt shyly replied, voice barely above a whisper and Blaine smiled even though he had no idea what that was.

After they’d made their way through several more sections, Blaine asked Kurt the one thing he really wanted to know.

“So do you work here too?” He thought it would be a dream come true getting to work in a place like this.

“Blaine, I’m seven.” Kurt gave him a look that made Blaine feel kind of stupid but Kurt squeezed his hand and it made him feel better. “Of course I don’t work here. One day though, one day I’m going to be a botanist just like my mom.”
“Cool.” Blaine replied, because it really was. “I’m going to be a surgeon, just like my dad, but I think being a botanist would be much cooler.”

“Being a doctor doesn’t sound so bad. Is your dad good?” Kurt asked.

“Uh huh. He’s the best doctor in the country, maybe the whole world even. He goes out of the country sometimes to perform special surgeries and stuff because he’s the best.”

“Your dad’s super rich right?” Kurt asked leading Blaine down a path lined with towering trees. “My mom said he donated the money that helped make this place. That’s why we made him a special flower.”

“It’s for my mother,” Blaine nodded excitedly. “Father said the mayor’s having mom's flower planted in the park today. It’s her birthday tonight and we’re going to the theater and then we’re going to the park and we’re going to surprise her.”

“Really?” Kurt asked, his eyes bright and his smile really soft and big like mothers always got when father surprised her with flowers or told her she looked pretty that day. “That’s a great birthday present. He must really love her.”

“Of course he loves her. What else would he do, they’re married aren’t they?” Blaine asked in confusion. Truthfully he was a little offended that Kurt would assume anything else of his parents. Father and mother loved him and they loved each other no matter what, that was just the way it was.

“Not all married people love each other.” Kurt replied tilting his nose up slightly in a way that made him seem even taller than he already was. Blaine wasn’t going to back down though.

“Don’t your mother and father love each other?” He asked crossing his arms and Kurt put his arms on his hips and positively knifed Blaine with his eyes. His eyes didn’t look so blue now, maybe green or grey, Blaine couldn’t tell for sure.

“Of course they do, but that doesn’t mean all married people do.”

“Well why not?! Why’d they get married then if they didn’t love each other?”

“Well they love each other at first, and then they just… I don’t know… they just don’t anymore. Haven’t you ever heard of divorce?”

The idea that his mother and his father could one day just not love each other, or not love him for that matter was just too much for Blaine to really understand. He knew a couple of kids in his class whose parents were divorced but to him it was just a word. It had nothing to do with him, his family or the wonderful life they had together.

“Of course I have. I just think it’s dumb. If you love someone you love them and that’s that.”

“Oh really?” Kurt asked one of his eyebrows arching high. “Even if they did something that was really bad, even if they made you cry?”

Blaine wasn’t so sure anymore, but he wasn’t about to tell Kurt that. He nodded, tilting his chin up and standing up straight like father always did when he wanted everyone to know he was serious about something. He did bad things, sometimes he made mother and father really mad at him and once he broke Mother's favorite string of pearls and she cried, but no matter what they always loved him. That was the way it was supposed to be. It had to be that way!

“Really Kurt. If your father ever stopped loving your mother well then…then I’d marry her and I’d love her no matter what.” Blaine didn’t know if it was appropriate to tell another boy you’d marry his mother, but he thought that maybe he’d like to.

Then he could spend the rest of his life here in the room that looked and smelled like a jungle. And Kurt would be here too and maybe they could shuck off their shoes and Blaine could roll up his itchy pants and they could climb one of the palm trees and hide out up there. He’d like that, and Kurt would probably like it too. He looked at home there just like his mother did, like he wasn’t a human boy but some fairy creature out of a story book.

Kurt frowned at him and poked his pointer finger into Blaine’s shoulder, prodding him sharply as he said, “No! You can’t love my mom because she’s my mom. You have to love someone our age, someone who isn’t perfect or it doesn’t count.”

“Okay okay, don’t poke.” Blaine relented, though he didn’t really want to. He’d still like to live in the greenhouse with Kurt. Maybe…maybe he could. Blaine didn’t know if you could marry a boy, maybe it wasn’t something people did and it didn’t count either.

“Do boys count?” He asked tentatively and Kurt’s finger curled as he brought it up to his mouth to bite the knuckle. He ducked his head, but Blaine could still see the way his cheeks flushed. It made his stomach start squirming. “Some boys marry boys don’t they?”

“Yes” Kurt said quietly smiling shyly at Blaine. “Some of them do.”

“Well then I’ll marry you Kurt” he decided, “and even if you did bad things, even if you made me cry I’d love you no matter what.”

“Really” Kurt asked in wonder, “because...I’d like that.”

“Really” Blaine nodded eagerly because he’d really like it too. He’d like it if he could stay in the jungle here with Kurt forever but he already knew Father wouldn’t let him.

“Do you promise? Don’t promise if you don’t mean it.” Kurt’s eyes had gotten intense in a way that made Blaine go still inside, still kind of scared, and exhilarated all at once.

“I promise.” Blaine said and he felt bigger inside just for saying it.

“Good.” Kurt replied. He bit his lip, staring at Blaine hopefully as though if he wished it hard enough they would suddenly be grown up and sure of what was supposed to come next. But they weren’t and Blaine was getting nervous just standing there feeling stupid.

Kurt watched him with a thoughtful frown on his face, and then he looked worried and Blaine didn’t want him to be worried, but before he could do anything Kurt had taken a deep breath and leaned forward. Before Blaine could blink Kurt had his mouth pressed against his. It felt weird and their noses kind of mashed together in an uncomfortable way. It made Blaine’s palms sweat and his heart start to race. It was over and done in a second, and Blaine was pretty sure kisses were supposed to last longer but his heart was pounding so hard he was kind of glad it hadn’t because he’d probably have died.

“Why did you kiss me?” He stammered, even more unsure now of what he was supposed to do. Maybe this made them boyfriends. He’d never had a boyfriend though his friend Wes had already had three girlfriends, but Wes never actually kissed any of them! Blaine wasn’t sure if Wes ever did anything with them except sit next to them at lunch and trade silly bands.

“Because you promised, and I don’t want you to forget.” Kurt said, his face pink and his eyes watching Blaine’s nervously. “Nobody forgets their first kiss.”

Kurt seemed so sure of himself that Blaine knew he wouldn’t. He was confidant that he could go his whole life and never forget the boy standing in front of him.

Blaine never did, though later he would wish desperately that he could.

TBC


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