Oct. 2, 2014, 7 p.m.
Don't let me go: Who knew?
E - Words: 1,862 - Last Updated: Oct 02, 2014 Story: Complete - Chapters: 15/? - Created: Mar 24, 2014 - Updated: Mar 24, 2014 43 0 0 0 0
An: and we're done for now. Review if you like and let me know what you think.
In the next chapter: Blaine and Kurt meet again!
Cheers.
Mary.
3
If someone said three years from now
Youd be long gone
Id stand up and punch them out
Cause theyre all wrong and
That last kiss
Ill cherish until we meet again
And time makes it harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling who knew
“I have no intention whatsoever of buying that monstrosity, Blaine. It's just plain ugly!” huffed Kurt trying to move on from the furniture store.
“Oh come on. It's perfect” exclaimed Blaine pointing to the hand-shaped, bright pink loveseat that they were NOT going to buy. “Perfect for snuggling, watching a movie together under a blanket. To take a nap, before dinner.” He moved closer to Kurt, reaching out for his hand and giving him a look, one Kurt knew all too well, as he continued. “We could do a lot of things on that love-seat,” he suggested in a low voice.
Kurt sighed. There was nothing that could better convince him than Blaine's suggesting voice, or rather, nothing more convincing than the implications he made with that voice.
“OK” he conceded. “But... if we ever break up, I'm going to set this thing on fire, be prepared,” he warned.
Blaine's face lit up in an excited smile. “I like this plan,” he announced, kissing Kurt in the middle of the street. It was quick, simple, but full of feeling. Something Kurt still wasn't used to, even after all of the years they had been together. “And I have no intention of leaving you, ever!” announced Blaine, taking his hands and leading him into the store.
“Kurt, it's time to wake up, buddy.”
“Not yet, please,” Kurt murmured unwilling to leave the happy memories of his dream.
He could feel his father's gaze on him, watching him closely. He knew that Burt wouldn't judge him, that no matter what, despite the opinions he had on his life and his choices, his father would support him.
“You you haven't left this bed since you've been back. It's been two weeks.” Burt voice was kind, but firm.
Kurt looked at his father, trying to clear his sleep-rimmed eyes.
“Yes I have, a few times,” he mumbled, hiding his face against his pillow.
He shouldn't have given Burt that spare key. Or Rachel. The last couple of days had been a vortex of visits and pep-talks, and pleas for him to get back on his feet.
He was contemplating the idea of ignoring his father completely when the older man started talking again.
“To do what, go to the bathroom?” he asked. “Or those rare times you decide it's important to eat? Kurt, this is no way to fix your marriage.”
“And what do you want me to do?” Kurt asked sitting up, trying not to let his irritation show. “Blaine doesn't answer my phone calls or my texts. He closed his clinic indefinitely, and I have no idea where he could be. Nobody has spoken with him, and after that last phone call... I have no idea if I'm ever going to see him again.”
Burt stayed quiet. Maybe, Kurt thought, it had finally gotten through to him, that there was nothing he could do, unless Blaine decided to come back home.
“You could take care of yourself.”
Or maybe not, he thought with a sigh.
“Pardon me, if I don't have the strength to do anything. It's hard to get used to the idea of being alone after all this time.”
He heard Burt sigh, and then felt the bed shift as he sat down beside him.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Nooo..” he wailed, covering his face with a pillow. He loved his father with everything he had, but in that moment, loneliness seemed like a pretty sweet deal to him. “I don't want to talk about it. I want to stay here, crying and reminiscing, and thinking over everything that went wrong.”
“You're going to have to talk about it sometime,” Burt answered back. “Wouldn't it be better for it to be with someone who loves you? Someone who's not going to judge you?” A heavy silence stretched between them for a moment, and then his father spoke again. “You knew things with Blaine were getting bad, didn't you?” It wasn't a question, just a simple statement. Burt had known it all along. He'd seen Blaine give up, maybe even before Kurt did himself.
“I hoped I was wrong,” he whispered. “I hoped that if we pretended that everything was fine, we'd eventually move past it.”
“But you didn't.”
Kurt shook his head. “I pushed him too far away, I made him suffer and put up with so much, and then...” he stopped, trying to think clearly. “And then in last weeks, things got really bad. We barely talked. I didn't know what to do, so I buried myself with my work. I tried ignoring our problems. I knew Blaine was here, and that he would wait for me, and when I came back we'd fix everything.”
Burt remained silent. Kurt knew his father. He knew Burt was giving him the chance to talk. To see things through.
“Then Christmas came,” he went on, his voice no more than a whisper. “And I didn't have the courage to come home, I knew that things wouldn't be the way they were before, and that Blaine wouldn't be the husband I left a year ago. I convinced myself that there was no way that I could go home because I was needed at work, and I texted Blaine. I sent him a text, dad!” exclaimed Kurt desperate. “How pathetic is that? And now he hates me. He hates me, and there's nothing I can do about it. I can't erase the last year, or the fact that the most wonderful man in the whole wide world, has spent Christmas alone, when he should have been with me. Happy and finally together again” he cried.
That was what he regretted the most.
He knew Blaine didn't have many happy Christmases to remember. The ones with his family were often spent with his nanny or his brother, waiting for his mom and dad to come back from their business trips.
Because of that, it was only dinner that they got to have together.
It was the reason Blaine had loved being with the Hummel's on holidays so much. They were days dedicated to their family. It was something he'd never had, something he'd always wanted so badly that it hurt to see it finally in front of him.
“Blaine couldn't hate you.” Burt's stated, bringing Kurt back to reality. “He'll come back eventually.”
“I wish you were right.”
“Has he ever given you reason to doubt that?” His father asked. “Blaine followed you to New York without a second thought. He waited for you, while you were chasing your dreams.”
“You're not helping dad.” Kurt said, trying desperately to make the conversation stop.
Reminding him of all the sacrifices Blaine had made for him was only making things worse.
“Trust your love, Kurt. Trust the life you've shared. Give him time. He's confused and scared that your marriage is over...” Burt trailed off with a sigh. Then he continued.. “I'm not saying this to make you feel bad but...”
At that point Kurt doubted that there was anything able to make him feel more miserable. That was until his father went on.
“Blaine lost his spark in this last year. He's become a shadow of himself. He couldn't sing, he couldn't smile. He wasn't living anymore.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Kurt asked irritated, getting up. He reached the window, looking outside.
“Because you weren't here, Kurt. And if you want to fix your marriage you have to deal with the repercussions for your decisions. You have to know what you're going to find when you see him, because the Blaine you're going to see, is not the one you married. He will be sad, and hostile, and full of resentment. But it's just a mask, to protect himself.”
“From what?!”
“From you, Kurt.”
Kurt's eyes filled with tears.
“How could I do something like this?” he asked himself.
“You made some mistakes,” Burt answered. “It happens to the best of us. But instead of facing them you decided to wait, you knew Blaine would wait. You couldn't have imagined that he would have given up. But tell me something,” he said getting close to Kurt. “Do you still love Blaine?”
“With all my heart.”
The question seemed almost an irreverence to him. How could he not love Blaine?
How could he not love the man that he was and the boy that he'd been.
The sixteen year old who gave him a gum wrapper ring for Christmas. The boy who'd saved every penny he could to take him to Paris for his twenty-first birthday.
The man who held his hand, without letting go through his father's first heart attack. They hadn't even been a couple back then, and yet Blaine had been there for him. By hugging him and holding him, he gave him the comfort he needed. By lending a shoulder to cry on and to sleep on while they were waiting for news from the doctors, he had given him hope.
The man, who had knelt before him, and asked him to be his forever.
No, he couldn't give up. Not now, not ever.
He didn't know how, but somehow he was going to convince Blaine to come back to him.
Nothing in the world was worth fighting over. Nothing was worth losing Blaine over.
“Thanks, dad” Kurt sighed, looking into his father's eyes. “Thank you for asking me what I was too afraid to ask myself.”
Burt hugged him then. And Kurt held on as tightly as he could. Trying to find the strength to pick up his life back up. It was right then, that his cell-phone beeped.
A text. He moved out of his father's embrace to pick it up. Then his breath caught. It was Blaine.
In a moment, a million thoughts crossed his mind. What if Blaine had finally decided he'd had enough? What if didn't want to see him anymore? What if that text, contained the details of his divorce lawyer?
There was no way to know, but to read.
Central Park, Sunday, 8:00 AM
Nothing more, but it was enough.
Because finally, he was going to see Blaine after all these months. They could talk. And he could beg him to come back home.
He smiled.