Hesitantly, Blaine opened his eyes and looked down to find a bushel of auburn hair resting on his chest. Blaine couldn’t help but marvel at the boy resting into his side and experimentally moved his left hand, which was in fact around the other boy. Blaine thought about getting up, about getting dressed, about doing anything, but he felt constrained to his bed. The boy beside him was so soft, and warm, and peaceful, and honestly, there was nowhere else on Earth Blaine wanted to be more.

Blaine sighed and moved his hand from Kurt’s waist and ran it gently through the boy’s hair. Blaine was content for a moment, until his mind began to reel and wonder. Just how far did he and Kurt get last night? Something told Blaine there was little left undone.

He continued touching Kurt’s hair until he couldn’t stand just lying there. He got up, tenderly unwrapping Kurt from his middle, and slid out of the sheets. When he stood up, he noted that he was fully naked, putting a stop to any thoughts that he and Kurt hadn’t had sex. Blaine sighed and went into his person bathroom and turned on the water of the shower.

Blaine didn’t wait for the water to get hot, he just climbed in and stood under the water; he let it pour over his head and he leaded forward so it would pound down on his shoulders and back. He placed his hands in front of him on the shower wall and rested his head on them.

When his eyes were closed he instantly saw images, like shard of glass whizzing through his mind, of Kurt’s delicate frame perched on top of his. Of Kurt’s pale white skin in contrast to Blaine’s tanned tone. Of Kurt’s lips, slightly parted and his teeth grazing Blaine’s everything.

Blaine threw his fist at the wall. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be with Kurt, to feel Kurt, to have Kurt; he just didn’t want it to be in these circumstances. Blaine wanted to remember his first time, especially with someone as amazing as Kurt. Kurt’s better than that. Better than this.

Blaine pushed himself off the wall and ran his hands through his wet hair. “Nothing you can do now, B,” Blaine whispered to himself. He reached over and grabbed his body wash, hoping to scrub away the memories that seemed implanted in his frontal lobes.

When Blaine emerged from the bathroom with simply a towel hanging loosely around his hips, Kurt was sitting up in Blaine’s bed. Blaine could feel Kurt’s eyes on him, and he felt suddenly subconscious. Blaine avoided the boy’s gaze as he walked over to his dresser and grabbed out some clothes. He then walked back into the bathroom and closed the door tightly behind him. He leaned his back against the door and took a deep breath before looking up at his reflection in the mirror. What are you doing? Blaine asked himself. You’re being an asshole. Okay, so maybe thing with Kurt went a little out of order, but he’s still here, which means that he wants to be. Blaine stood up taller and squared his shoulders. Now, hurry up and get back out there.

Blaine put on a pair of underwear before realizing that Kurt was most likely still naked. Maybe I shouldn’t put on clothes? Blaine thought it over for a moment before deciding to just walk out in his fresh pair of bright green briefs, but was shocked to see Kurt missing. He raked his eyes over every inch of the room before he heard the faint sound of a car ignition being started up. Blaine dashed over to his bedroom window and looked down to find Kurt pulling out of the driveway in his black Range Rover and racing away from the house.

Blaine felt deflated. I guess Kurt didn’t want to be here. Blaine sighed and walked backward till he fell back onto his bed. He left his body bounce a few times on the mattress before he lay still. Blaine stared up at the ceiling for a good twenty minutes, analyzing everything he could remember until he remembered a certain factor. Liam.

Shit. What the hell was I thinking? Kurt’s in a relationship, no matter how rocky it might be right now. What if Kurt didn’t even mean anything by sleeping with me? What if to him it was just a way to blow off steam? Maybe that’s why he left in such a hurry. Blaine, you are such an idiot.