Blaine had been sifting through his old school stuff and he’d found the letter that Tobias had sent him. It had arrived the day after he’d committed suicide, Blaine had yet to open it… he’d been too scared as to what it’d contain… he’d loved and cared about Tobias, he couldn’t read it... not back then. He was going read it today with Kurt, he needed someone with him… he couldn’t do it alone.

Blaine took a deep breath “Okay… I can do this…I can…”

Kurt reassuringly rubbed his shoulder, he was really lucky to have someone like Kurt as his husband…

He slowly opened the small blue envelope and pulled out a tear stained letter and CD… tears stung Blaine’s eyes as he unfolded the piece of paper and began to read:

Dearest Blaine,

I know I’ll be gone by the time you read this but there are a few things that I need you to know.

First, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I can’t stay, I’m sorry I’m not strong enough, I’m sorry that I’m not doing this in person, and I’m sorry for leaving like this… but I just can’t take it anymore, the slushies, the hurtful comments, the harassment… without you by my side here it’s too painful…and I just I don’t have the strength to go on… I know they say it gets better but I can’t see it getting any better… it won’t get better… not for me… which leads me to my next point…

Blaine, I love you… I’ve wanted to tell you for a while now but I’ve never found the courage… you are amazing Blaine… you are out of my league, I don’t deserve you as a friend let alone a boyfriend… you’re beautiful and funny and charismatic and you have a big heart. All I’ve wanted to do for the past few weeks, months even, is hold you in my arms and kiss you… I love you, the way you dress and your smile. You inspire me Blaine… and I wish I could be as strong as you. I wish I’d have told you before now but I could never find the right words, and then there’s Kurt… I can tell you like him, the way your eyes light up when you receive his e-mails, how excited you get when you talk about him, he sounds really amazing… I wish that you would talk about me the way to talk about him, that you’d see in me what you do in him. It breaks my heart to watch you fall in love with someone who isn’t me. I can’t handle seeing rejection in your eyes… I LOVE YOU! And just know that you have always and will always have my heart… keep it safe Blaine.

Don’t blame yourself for this Blaine, please… I’m not doing this because you don’t love me… I’m telling you that I love you because I’m doing this… I’m not strong like you… I can’t take it anymore… sure life would be better if you were my boyfriend, but we would still be separated and its more just the bullying… there has to be a better world… something more… I just can’t stand it here anymore. I’m sorry Blaine, I really, really am I know it’ll be hard for you to lose a third person but just know that this is the best thing for me… I can’t see any future for me, but you…you have amazing things in your future, you are going to meet Kurt again one day and you are going to be happy… you are going to have a great life… Just always remember the fun times we had together, making up games like ‘super spies’ and making our secret language ‘Tobainish’.

Also please, please listen to the CD… it’s a collection of songs that make me think of you and voice my thoughts and feelings for you:-

Track list:-

All my love…always
Tobias

Tears streamed down Blaine's face, he’d loved him back- Tobias had loved Blaine back what if Blaine had just told him, if Blaine had told him, he’d probably still be here, if he’d have told him before Blaine could have helped him, talked him down from it.

“Blaine, are you okay?” asked Kurt.

“He loved me back Kurt, he loved me…” said Blaine struggling through the tears leaning in to his husband.

“Shush, baby… ssshhhuuussshhhh,” said Kurt in to Blaine’s curls, holding him close.

They sat there, Blaine sobbing in to Kurt's chest.

“Have I ever told you that the week he committed suicide I was going to tell him how I felt about him, he was coming to visit for the weekend” said Blaine a new wave of tears cascading down his face.

“Oh, baby shush” Kurt cradling Blaine.

Just then a smallish boy with blonde hair, and dark brown eyes entered the room.

“Why are you crying daddy?” asked the boy.

“Daddy just read a letter from an old friend that’s all T.” said Kurt.

“Oh daddy, I’m sure you’ll see them again soon” said the little boy, walking over to Blaine and giving him a tight hug.

“Yeah, maybe I will Tobias…” said Blaine, smiling sadly at their little boy, he reminded him so much of Tobias “Shouldn’t you be in bed you little monkey”

Blaine picked up the little boy and through him upon his shoulder, tickling him.

“D-d-d-a-a-a-a-ddy, s-s-t-top p-p-please, it tick-tickles” said Tobias, in a fit of giggles.

“Blaine, don’t get him too excited, he should be in bed”

“But daddy, I’m not sleepy” said Tobias, stifling a yawn, when Blaine put him down.

“You’re right, you’re not tired at all, why don’t you come and join daddy and me, in the front room” said Blaine.

“Really?” said Tobias optimistically.

“Blaine!” Kurt reprimanded.

“Yeah, Daddy and I will just be talking about how much we love each other” said Blaine, looping his arm around Kurt’s waist and pulled him closer as pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“On second thought daddies, I am tired I’ll see you in the morning” said Tobias, leaving the room as quickly as possible.

“Don’t wake Lizzie up.” Kurt called after their son. “Are you going to be okay baby?”

“Yeah, I think I am, I mean I could have told him, but then I wouldn’t have the best husband in the world” said Blaine pulling Kurt to his chest and then dipping him, Blaine planted his lips firmly on Kurt’s.

He withdrew and stared in to Kurt’s eyes, the boy whom he had once comforted under a willow tree, the man who had become his husband, put up with his insecurities, who found beauty in Blaine’s imperfections. But most of all loved Blaine for Blaine.

“Come on Mr Hummel-Anderson maybe it’s time we went to bed too” said Kurt his voice deeper than usual.

“I’ll get the lube” said Blaine smiling, despite all his pain and loss in childhood; he had the best family, a loving husband and two lovely children.

He’d listen to the CD tomorrow, when Lizzie was at Ballet and Tobias was at his friend David’s, maybe one day Blaine would tell Tobias about who he was named after, and how he was such a special person his Daddy.