Author's Notes: 23rd June

Blaine arrived at the hospital that afternoon to find Grace packing up her and Jermaine’s things. Blaine was confused - Jermaine hadn’t gotten any better and he wasn't due to move to rehab in Lima for weeks. His heart sank ... he had suspicions, but just hoped they were wrong.

"Hey, Gracey!" He said cheerily, trying to hide his sadness that Jermaine was leaving. "What's going on?"

"Hey Bee! JJ has something he needs to tell you. I'll step outside and give you some space." Grace said as she backed out of the room, a sad smile on her face.

"I got a room in a different rehab center." The computerized voice from Jermaine’s laptop droned; they'd supplied him with one that he could control with his eyes so he could communicate.

"But ... but ..." Blaine stammered, realising just how much he was going to miss Jermaine. "... You can't go JJ - not yet."

"I have to." The computer replied, Jermaine’s eyes began to glisten and tears slowly ran down his cheeks, not really from his choice to leave, but about what he'd decided...

"Well then, I’ll visit every week. Where is it?"

"Florida." The machine confirmed. Blaine couldn't help but feel that this conversation would be easier if it was said in Jermaine’s soft tone, rather than the hard, cold computerized voice.

"I can do Florida." Blaine nodded assuredly. "I could visit every month."

"No."

"No?" He asked, tears stinging his eyes that he refused to let fall.

"No. Don't come to visit." Jermaine’s chest heaved with sobs - this was clealy killing him, but it was the right thing to do.

"Please, J?! You're my best friend."

"No." The computer said again.

"Why?" Blaine asked, trying and failing to keep the desperation out of his voice.

"Because Blaine, you need to move on with your life. I can't hold you back any more, you're meant to be with Kurt, not me... I see that now."

“But ... our friendship ..."

“Blaine, I can't. I can't watch you fall in love with someone else and you can't miss out on a chance of true love ... I won't let you, not because of me. A best friend wouldn't keep you from the person you clearly love - he wouldn't do any of the things I did to you ... I don't deserve you. I’m sorry."

Blaine nodded in understanding. He didn't want to lose his friend - he knew that staying friends with Jermaine wouldn't cost him Kurt but he agreed anyway. There was no point arguing with Jermaine, as once he’d set his mind to something there was no changing it. He said goodbye to both Jermaine and Grace, hugging them both and then left. When he got home he went to his room and let the tears fall that he couldn't let Jermaine see. Even after everything Jermaine had done, Blaine was still going to miss him.

~~~
31st June

Blaine was at work at Between The Sheets. He had just finished stacking the shelves and helping a customer to find the sheet music for 'Defying Gravity' when he wandered over to the instrument section. He looked at the guitars hung on the wall, his eyes stopping on the one Kurt loved to use when he taught guitar there. Blaine sat down at the big black piano, running his fingers over the keys and beginning to play:

You think I'm pretty without any make-up on
You think I'm funny when I tell the punch line wrong
I know you get me, so I let my walls come down, down

Before you met me, I was alright
But things were kinda heavy, you brought me to life
Now every February you'll be my Valentine, Valentine

Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die
You and I, we'll be young forever

You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream
The way you turn me on, I can't sleep
Let's run away and don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops when you look at me
Just one touch, now baby I believe
This is real, so take a chance
And don't ever look back, don't ever look back

Blaine didn't notice Chandler, his boss and crush's ex, watching him as he was too engrossed in the music. He'd fallen for Kurt and fallen hard. He imagined singing this to Kurt, smiling; he’d sung lead on this very song when he was a Warbler.

'This kid is good' Chandler thought to himself.

We drove to Cali and got drunk on the beach
Got a motel and built a fort out of sheets
I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece
I'm complete

Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die
You and I, we'll be young forever

You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream
The way you turn me on, I can't sleep
Let's run away and don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops when you look at me
Just one touch, now baby I believe
This is real, so take a chance
And don't ever look back, don't ever look back

Imma get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight
Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight

You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream
The way you turn me on, I can't sleep
Let's run away and don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops when you look at me
Just one touch, now baby I believe
This is real, so take a chance
And don't ever look back, don't ever look back

Imma get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight
Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight


As the song drew to a close Chandler walked over to Blaine.

"Hey, Blaine ... you okay?" He asked.

Blaine jumped slightly, worried he was going to get in trouble for slacking off or that Chandler would find out about his crush on Kurt. He knew Chandler still loved Kurt, and that he deeply regretted what he'd done to him. Blaine felt bad for crushing on Kurt, as Chandler had been so kind to him ... but he simply couldn’t help how he felt. He just hoped when he eventually told Chandler he’d be okay about it.

"Yeah ... um, yeah." Blaine replied cautiously. “Sorry - I'll get back to work."

"Don't be sorry Blaine, you play beautifully. Have you considered teaching? It pays a little better than working as a shop assistant."

“But I have school ... and don't I need qualifications or something?”

Chandler shrugged. "You can do it instead of working here as an assistant. And you playing just then was qualification enough for me"

"But - don't you need me?"

"Blaine seriously, don't even worry about that. I can find someone else ... they probably won't be as good, but I'll manage."

Blaine laughed lightly. "Well ... okay, if you're sure?"

"Great!" Chandler smiled as Blaine turned to return to work and added. "Oh, and Blaine? I’m sorry to hear about Jermaine moving."

Blaine nodded. "Oh, um ... thank you."

~~~
1st August

"Thank you - enjoy your night!” Blaine told his customers as they left after tipping him generously.

"How's your evening been, Blainers?" Dave asked.

"Alright actually - everyone’s being pretty generous." Blaine replied with a little shrug.

"And It looks like you night's about to get that much better.” Lola interrupted, nudging Blaine. "Look who just arrived in you section, Bee ... it's lover-boy."

Blaine quickly turned and saw Kurt and a group of his fellow Cheerios piling into one of the booths. He was happy to see Kurt, but they had agreed to give each other space over the summer ... this was going to make it so much harder.

"Shit, please someone switch? Just take his table ... I can't ... " Blaine looked frantically back and forth between Lola and Dave.

"Bee, what's wrong?” Lola urged. "you like - like Kurt, don't you?"

"I just can't serve him tonight. I asked him out ... he turned me down because I need time to get over Jermaine. I just can't ... please?"

"Blaine, we can't either. You know Sally doesn't like us switching like that - you have to." Dave shrugged.

"But ..."

"It’ll be okay, sweetie." Lola said, smiling softly.

Blaine walked slowly over to Kurt’s table. He was there with Rachel, someone Blaine didn't mind so much, but sat on the other side of the table was Chloe, James and John. They hated Blaine.

***

"Come on guys, let’s sit here." Kurt said, herding the group of uniform-clad Cheerios into a booth.

"Why? What's so great about here?" Asked Chloe. She was a tall blonde and had a nasal voice.

"We just have to." Kurt replied quickly and sharply, and Rachel threw him a questioning look, but then she spotted him just over Kurt’s shoulder, walking towards them ... Blaine. She smiled at Kurt.

"Yeah, let’s sit here - I personally am famished.” Rachel beamed, choosing to indulge Kurt because she knew that he missed Blaine, and he’d been miserable.

Kurt turned to glance at Blaine as he walked towards them. God, he's beautiful he thought, and Rachel grinned at him. He still thought Blaine looked pretty thin though, which worried him slightly.

Rachel glanced over at Blaine and caught his eye; she smiled almost apologetically at him, knowing what he was thinking ... why? If it was his idea to be apart, why was he making this more difficult ... for both of them.

“Hi there, my names Blaine and I'll be your waiter this evening." Blaine said when he reached them, looking down at his feet.

"Oh, hello fairy." James sniped nastily. He was thin, with mousey brown hair and a toned body.

"Can I get you some drinks?" Blaine continued, ignoring James' comment and trying desperately not to meet Kurt’s gaze.

"Uh, yes." Kurt glared at James. “We’ll have five diet cokes please, Blaine."

Kurt smiled, trying to catch Blaine’s eye. He wanted Blaine to look at him ... he so wanted to look in to those bright amber eyes again, and maybe get a little lost in them. He'd missed them so much - the last time he saw those eyes he'd broken them.

"Yes, of course sir. Here’s some menus." Blaine nodded, passing out the menus and reeling off the specials, and then he left the table. Kurt turned briefly to glance at Blaine’s ass and then spun back and kicked James hard in the shin.

"Hey! What's up, Lady Hummel?!” James protested.

"Leave him be or I'll kick higher." Kurt growled in response.

"He's not one of us - why do you care? You're top of the heap."

"He's beneath us. he's in Glee club for crying out loud ..." John added. He was blonde and was slightly shorter than the others.

"He's more like some of us than you think." Kurt hissed through his teeth as Blaine arrived with the drinks. They threw him questioning looks.

"Here are your drinks. Are you ready to order?” asked Blaine, still desperately trying to avoid looking at Kurt.

"We'll take five chicken salads." said Kurt, throwing his biggest, brightest smile in Blaine's direction.

"Yes sir, right away." Blaine nodded, this time managing a slight glance at Kurt.

From that brief look Kurt could tell he hadn’t been sleeping well. There was a secret he was hiding in those amber pools that drew Kurt in so quickly. All he wanted to do was to kiss Blaine and never stop.

"Thank you." Kurt smiled gently.

Blaine smiled back. He'd missed Kurt so much. He left, his heart heavy and sad.

***

"Lola, I'm not sure I can continue serving him. It hurts ..."

"Oh Bee - it'll be okay."

Blaine sighed heavily and took Kurt and his friends their meals before slinking back and watching him from afar. God, he looked good in his Cheerio uniform - it made his ass look fantastic and the shirt clung to his abs, outlining them. When the group had finished their meal they paid and left, all except for Kurt who stayed behind a moment. He watched Blaine for a while as he busied himself cleaning the counter, leaving a very generous tip and a small note on the table and then regretfully making his way out of the exit.

When Blaine returned to the table to clear it, he found a small, folded note withTo Blaine written on it in Kurt’s, unmistakable curly writing. He pocketed it and the large tip, cleared the plates and went back to work.

At the end of his shift he quickly went home, leaning against his bedroom door as he closed it. He unfolded the note and read it slowly.

Blaine,
I just wanted to say hi, I'm sorry to hear about Jermaine moving. I hope you're doing okay - sorry if this makes it harder, I just miss you ...
Kurt
X

Blaine clutched the note to his chest and sobbed. He really did miss Kurt, but he just didn’t feel like he was ready, not yet. Almost - but not yet.

~~~

7th August

Kurt entered the store. He hadn’t been there in a long time - almost eight months, to be exact. He’d been staying away from here, from him … Kurt knew he could be himself there and no-one in his circle would come anywhere near. He knew this place like the back of his hand; it had been his home from home once upon a time. He walked over and looked over the flyers, one in particular catching his eye:

Blaine Anderson
Piano Tutor
$45 dollars per lesson
$150 per month (4 lessons)
call (119)315138 to sign up

Kurt gave a tender smile ... he almost arranged a lesson right then, but that night at Breadstix had been hard enough. He made his way over to the guitars, picking up his favourite and pulling the strap over his head, and began to play.

Can I ask you a question please
Promise you won't laugh at me
Honestly, I'm standing here
Afraid I'll be betrayed
As twisted as it seems
I only fear love when it's in my dreams
So let in the morning light and let the darkness fade away

Can you turn my black roses in red?
Can you turn my black roses in red?
(La, la, la, la, la, la... La, la, la, oh uh oooh
La, la, la, la, la, la, oh, oh, la, la, la oh hum hum)

Kurt loved this song- it had been one of his mom's favorites. She had sung it to him all the time when he and her were in the car, and this was the perfect song for him to sing to Blaine. He pictured Blaine's gorgeous face and tears rolled slowly down his cheeks as he continued the song slowly.

Drowning in my loneliness
How long must I hold my breath
So much emptiness inside I could fill the deepest sea
I reach to the sky as the moon looks on
One last year has come and gone
It's time to let your love rain down on me

Can you turn my black roses red?
Can you turn my black roses red?
Can you turn my black roses red?

Cause I'm Feel like I’ve never known love
Feel like I’ve never known love
Feel like I’ve never known love, yeah
I'm Feel like I’ve never known love
Feel like I’ve never known love
Feel like I’ve never known love

(La, la, la, la, la, la... la, la, la, la, la, la oh, oh
La, la, la, huum huuum)

Can you turn my black roses red?
Can you turn my black roses red?
Can you turn my black roses red?

Cause I'm feel like I’ve never known love
I'm Feeling like I’ve never known love
Feeling like I’ve never known love, yeah, yeah
I'm feeling like I’ve never known love
Feeling like I’ve never known love
Feeling like I’ve never known love

“Kurt?” A voice Kurt knew said behind him. He hadn’t heard it in a while, and he’d missed it.

“Hey.” Kurt managed, brushing away the tears briskly. This guy couldn’t see him like this right now.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah ... yeah, I’m fine.” Kurt lied, turning to face his ex who was staring pointedly at him.

“Kurt, you’re lying.” Chandler insisted.

“No, I’m not. I’m fine” Kurt muttered, looking at his feet.

“Kurt, we dated for two years. You don’t think I know when you’re not okay? You sing when you’re feeling upset or worried … I know you Kurt, and you’re not okay.” Chandler added softly. He’d truly missed Kurt.

“I really can’t talk to you about it ...” Kurt huffed, trying desperately not to have this conversation.

“You can talk to me about anything … you used to.”

Kurt shook his head. “I can’t about this, not right now. I’m not ready.”

“Kurt ... please?”

Kurt sighed; he guessed he’d have to tell Chandler sooner or later. Kurt rather hoped it’d be later, when he could go home and snuggle with Blaine after, knowing that Blaine was worth the awkwardness of the conversation he was about to have with his ex-boyfriend. He hoped that Blaine would ask him out again … he wanted him to. He just wanted Blaine to be his.

“I miss … this guy.” Kurt sighed, trying to be as evasive as possible. He certainly didn’t want Blaine to lose his job because of him.

“Oh?” Chandler's face lit up, clearly thinking that Kurt meant him.

“Yeah.” Kurt didn’t see the hopeful look on Chandler's face. He stared down at his feet again. “I’ve liked him for a while but I thought he was taken and then he really was taken, and now he isn’t but he needs time to grieve his relationship. I don’t want to be his rebound, so when he asked me out I turned him down. We decided to give each other space - and I regret that. It was stupid … and I miss him like crazy.”

“Blaine asked you out?” Chandler asked, hiding the pain in his voice. Kurt had moved on.

“Uh, yeah ... I didn’t disguise that well, did I?”

“Not really, but that’s really sweet.”

“Yeah, he is. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry Kurt, I’m the idiot who cheated on you - and lost you. Like I said that evening, you did nothing wrong.”

“I kinda did, though. I had a crush on another guy.”

“Kurt. I cheated ... that’s a lot worse.” Chandler said, hanging his head.

“I guess.” Kurt shrugged.

“So - you like Blaine, right?”

“Yeah … I think maybe I've fallen for him.” Kurt admitted sheepishly.

“And he makes you happy? Makes you smile?”

Kurt couldn't help the soft smile that crept across his face. “Yeah, he does.”

“And he likes you too?” asked Chandler, breaking his own heart slightly.

“I think so.” Kurt replied, really hoping that Blaine still did.

“Then what’s the problem? If it’s me, then there is none. You and I weren’t meant to be - I see that now, clearer than ever. Kurt, Blaine and you work. You’re perfect for each other ... I can already see he brings out the old you - the one I fell for in the first place.” He admitted, blushing a little. “He’s a great guy and a really good friend of mine. You two would be perfect together, and I’m happy for you. I’ll always love you Kurt, but it’s obvious your heart belongs to someone else - Blaine. I’m just happy you trusted me with your heart for a while, even if I did break it in the end.”

“Thanks, Chandler ... thank you.” Kurt gave a watery smile, unable to stop a few tears from falling.

Chandler nodded a little sadly. “You’re welcome, Kurt.”

Kurt took a few moments to compose himself, gave Chandler a quick hug and left.

~~~

20th August

“Hey, Blainey ...” Quinn said in a questioning tone as she walked over to Blaine. “You okay?”

Blaine was so busy staring out at the field, lost in thought. He’d withdrawn himself from the festivities that were taking place in Quinn’s back yard. The Glee Club were celebrating the start of their senior year and bidding goodbye to the seniors who had been in the club last semester. Despite the fact that some of his close friends were leaving and he was starting the final year of high school, his thoughts were consumed with one thing … Kurt. He was thinking about him, the way he moved, what it’d be like to see him again when school started again … now that he was ready, and finally fully over Jermaine.

“Hmm?” Blaine jumped slightly - he hadn’t heard Quinn coming, having been too busy thinking. “Oh, hey Q! Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You sure?” she asked, petting his arm. “You’ve been pretty quiet all day.”

“Yeah ... just thinking” Blaine shrugged.

He’d been planning how he was going to ask Kurt out, asking himself if he had the courage to actually ask him again. He knew Kurt said he’d say yes, but what if he’d met someone else over the summer, or gotten back with Chandler … Blaine wouldn’t know. What if Kurt had found someone better, hotter, more popular than him? After all, Kurt was well out of his league.

“About ...?” she asked, taking care to keep the annoyance out of her voice. She knew the answer - it was all he ever thought about nowadays.

Blaine sighed dreamily. "Kurt."

Quinn sighed disapprovingly. She didn’t care much for Kurt, not after he abandoned them for the Cheerios, but she cared for Blaine's happiness more. She wanted him to be happy -he deserved that ... he hadn’t been very happy since he and Jermaine started dating, not really.

“What about him?” she asked softly.

Blaine hesitated, unsure whether to spill all his thoughts to Quinn. He loved her dearly and she was one of his first friends at McKinley, besides Jermaine. He still had a few trust issues though - when he and Tom split, before he left he'd told almost everyone Blaine's darkest secrets. It was one of the reasons he'd left Dalton, other than Kurt of course. That’s why Kurt was so special to Blaine; although he didn’t know Kurt very well he felt he could trust him with anything.

“Just about him.” said Blaine, staring out into the field again. He closed his eyes and flashbacks hit him so he opened them again and shifted uncomfortably.

Even though it had been five months since Jermaine and Blaine had split, the flashbacks were still very real. Blaine hated himself for not getting out sooner, for letting Jermaine have that dominance over him and his life. He hated that he had been so weak and na�ve, thinking Jermaine would change, and he didn’t.

“Oh?” Quinn asked, knowing something was bothering Blaine “What’s wrong, Bee?”

“Nothing ... absolutely nothing.”

“Oh.” Was all she could think to say, not believing him at all. “Well, will you come back and join us?”

“Actually, Q ... I was thinking I might go home.” He said as the flashbacks worsened. “I’ve got my first tutoring session tomorrow - I should prepare.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I should really go.” Blaine nodded - he needed to be alone.

“Okay Bee, I’ll see ya Monday.”

“Yeah, see you then.”

~~~

28th August

Tina, Mercedes, Rachel and Kurt were having a sleep over. They were watching ‘When Harry Met Sally’, and Kurt couldn’t help but think how this would be his and Blaine’s movie.

“So what do you think, Kurt?” asked Mercedes.

“Hmm … what?” Kurt shook himself from deep thoughts about Blaine. He’d zoned out when Rachel had started talking over the movie about how she was worried about Finn’s friendship with Quinn and he switched off.

Mercedes rolled her eyes. “Should I ask the new guy, Sam Evans, out?”

“He is gorgeous.” said Tina “But Mike has the best abs.”

“I think he’s perfect for you, ‘Cedes” Kurt nodded absently, his mind still not fully on the conversation.

Rachel gave him a knowing look, knowing exactly what - or rather who - he was thinking about. Rachel could always tell what was on Kurt's mind; they’d been like that since they were kids. That aside, there was only one thing he thought about these days and that was Blaine.

“Hey!” she called. “Earth to Mister Heart-Eyes.” She threw a fluffy pillow at him.

“What?!?” he said, annoyed about being distracted from his thoughts about Blaine and his abs, and what they’d look like and how toned his body was.

“You're thinking about Blaine Anderson, aren’t you?” Tina asked huffily.

Kurt’s cheeks reddened - he’d been caught.

“Yes ... okay, yes.” he sighed in exasperation. “Oh god, I miss him.”

“Kurt!” Tina warned. “You’ve only really known the guy a few months.”

“And?”

“You can’t miss him - you hardly know him.” Mercedes added.

“I know him better than you think.” said Kurt, an edge to his voice. “I know all about his dad and Jermaine. You don’t know anything. I know him - I know Blaine the person … he’s amazing, he’s caring ... my god, he can sing and he plays. Oh, he can play guitar and piano beautifully … he’s super bright, he has school and a job … two jobs actually, and now he teaches piano too!”

“Oh?” said Tina, realizing how much Kurt really liked Blaine.

“There’s so much still to find out … he’s so much more than what you see. I want to know more … there’s so much pain still hidden deep in those amber eyes and that kills me. He’s so kind and sweet and amazing - he doesn’t deserve to suffer like that.” Kurt continued to babble.

“Okay, Kurt ...” Mercedes sighed.

“His eyes … so pretty, and his hair and glasses - he’s such nerd. But I think I love him … I just … I’ve fallen really hard.” he said with a silly grin.

“Oh, Kurty.” Rachel smiled tenderly at him, happy that he was smiling for the first time in ages. “Just call him.”

“I can’t - it’d make things more difficult. Just seeing him at Breadstix was too hard.”

“Kurt-“Rachel started.

“Just a few more days … he needs to be ready, and when he’s ready he’ll ask me again. He needs to be over Jermaine. “

“Okay, Kurt …”