June 24, 2013, 1:40 p.m.
I Trusted You
I Trusted You: Dinner At Rachel's
E - Words: 4,098 - Last Updated: Jun 24, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 18/18 - Created: Jun 29, 2012 - Updated: Jun 24, 2013 1,670 0 8 0 0
Kurt and Blaine woke from an even better sleep than the night before. They got up and both shuffled into the kitchen. Kurt switched on the coffee machine, and then began to make his speciality pancakes.
“Yay!” Blaine exclaimed. “I love your pancakes, Kurt. They’re amazing.”
“Thanks.” said Kurt, smiling.
Blaine walked behind Kurt, looped his arms around his waist, rested his chin on Kurt's shoulder and nuzzled his neck with his nose, like he always did when Kurt cooked.
“Blaine!” Kurt reprimanded. “Stop, you are making it too hard” Kurt blushed at what he said, whilst Blaine chuckled in his ear.
“I don't think there such a thing as TOO hard” Blaine choked.
“Oh shush, you know what I mean. I need to learn to trust you again, which means limiting the intimacy levels, but when you do things like that, it makes me want more.”
“It’s just - I've missed you, so much … I just -”
“I know, and I've missed you too, but I caught you in bed with another man, Blaine. I know you've missed me and that you're sorry, but it’s going to take a while before I can let you touch me like that. Whenever I think about you touching people like that it’s not me ... it’s Smythe. I know we kissed yesterday, but not much has changed, okay? I love you, Blaine and people might think I'm stupid for taking you back … you know - 'once a cheater always a cheater' and all that ... but there’s no-one else for me. You are it, my one and only, the only person I'm meant to be with ...” Kurt said as tears clouded his vision.
Blaine was the only one for Kurt. When Kurt looked into his future he saw himself and Blaine, sat together at the old folks home; in their rocking chairs, hands linked, heads resting towards each other, serene smiles on their faces. That was the future he'd always seen for him and Blaine, and he was sure they could get through this. Tears began to cascade down his face, but he was beginning to doubt himself - he didn’t think it’d be this hard. He didn’t think it would be this difficult to work on the problems, when his body just wanted Blaine
Blaine reached over and turned down the heat on the pancake mix, and turned Kurt around.
“Baby,” Kurt winced slightly at the term of endearment. The last time Blaine had used it Kurt’s heart had been shattered. “Please don't cry … please.” Blaine pulled him into a hug.
“Blaine, I just - ” Kurt started before he fell into another wave of sobs.
“I know Kurt, I know … and I'm sorry. I'll stop, okay?” He soothed, pulling Kurt closer.
Kurt pressed a soft kiss to Blaine's curls, breathing in the fruity scent of Blaine’s shampoo.
“Blaine, maybe don't stop entirely …“ Kurt smiled. “I mean, this is rather nice.”
“Yes, that it is. Okay, shall we just stick to hugs then?”
“For now. I should get back to these pancakes.” Kurt nodded, trying to return to cooking, but Blaine held him tighter.
“Just a little longer, please Kurt? I've missed your scent.”
“Okay, just a few more minutes. But I said we'd be at Rachel's for 11, and its 9:42.” Kurt sighed. He didn't want to let go either - he'd stay in the warm, sandalwood-and-cinnamon scented sea that was Blaine's arms forever.
The two men parted reluctantly, both longing to hold the embrace that little bit longer. They continued breakfast in a mutual, comfortable silence. Once they'd eaten, they dressed quickly and left the apartment for the short two block walk to Finn and Rachel's. The two men were thrust back in time as they walked past ' The Green Crab', the place where Kurt and Blaine had announced their engagement to their families ... and that was a dinner they wouldn’t forget for more reasons than one.
~~~
The Hudmels, the Andersons and the Berrys were enjoying a lovely dinner at 'The Green Crab' to celebrate their five young adults graduating college. Kurt spent the entire meal grinning, occasionally glancing at the simple gold band on his finger, hoping someone would notice and ask him about it.
“What’s up kiddo?” Burt asked, “you look like you're about to explode.”
Kurt looked to Blaine as if to ask 'can I tell them?' and Blaine nodded, smiling.
“Okay - Dad, Carole, Mary, Michael.” He chirped, smiling even more than before. “Blaine and I …” he paused “are ... ENGAGED!” Kurt blurted out, unable to hold it in any longer.
“I'm happy for you boys!” said Burt, smiling.
“Congratulations!” said Carol, Rachel and Mary in unison, with tears in their eyes.
Hiram and Leroy smiled at them.
“Nice one, little bro.” Cooper grinned, giving Blaine a pat on the shoulder.
“Congrats, Kurt.” Finn smiled at his step-brother.
The rest of the group looked expectantly at Michael, who simply slammed his cutlery down and stormed off outside.
“Uh … will you excuse me?” Blaine apologised, before hurriedly following his dad outside.
***
“What the hell, Dad?! Why did you just storm out?” Blaine demanded. “Kurt just told you some great news for us - you should be happy that I've found someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
“Happy? How can I be happy when I have a faggy son?” Michael snapped. “I thought it was a fucking phase! I know it’s been almost nine years since you came out, but it’s meant to be a phase … you should be normal now!” Hot, angry tears streamed down his cheeks.
“He is normal.” came Burt's voice from the door.
“I didn't ask for your opinion!” Michael shouted.
“Yeah well, you're gettin’ it.” Burt retorted. “Blaine is gay, and there’s nothing you can do about it. He loves my son and wants to marry him, and I give them my blessing and you should too. Blaine has helped and been there for Kurt in a way I never could and I'm pretty sure he's helped Blaine too, so just be happy for them, Michael.”
Blaine smiled, in spite of the situation. He'd always been jealous of Kurt’s relationship with his father. It was just then that he realised just how much Burt been there for him, helped him, and had shown him how to be a man.
“Look Dad - truth is, I actually don't care what you think, because I AM marrying Kurt! I love him, and I'd love for you to be there to watch me start a new chapter in my life, by marrying the only person I want to be with. I know all this has been hard for you, but I also know you still love and care about me. Wouldn't you like to see me happy … to be in love?” Blaine's eyes shone with tears.
“If you really want me there Blaine, then yes, I guess I could come. It’s still hard to know that I’ll never talk about girls with you, you know?”
“I know Dad, but you still have Coop for that.” said Blaine. “I’m sure there’s plenty more girls he'll be bringing home.” he winked.
Michael pulled his son into a hug.
“I know Blaine, I know. I guess I just wish I could do that with both my boys.”
Burt backed off and returned to the table to tell everyone that everything was okay and to give Blaine and Michael some space.
“Dad,” Blaine muttered when a few moments had past. “I've missed this.”
“What?”
“This … us, being like father and son. I love you.”
“I love you too, son. Now let’s not keep your fiancé without your company for too long.” Michael smiled, giving Blaine a small shove.
They re-joined the party just as Kurt was retelling the proposal, talking about weddings with the girls and Leroy. Blaine smiled to himself as he stared at his soon-to-be husband.
“You really love him, don't you?” Michael asked, thoughtfully.
“Yeah Dad, I do. He … he's my world - I know its cliché, but he is. He helped me, Dad … he saved me, without him knowing he stopped me from doing something stupid.” said Blaine his eyes never leaving Kurt. His dad threw him a questioning look.
“What 'something stupid'?” He asked slowly.
“Um … well,” Blaine stalled. He really didn’t want to have this discussion.
“Blaine?” Michael reprimanded.
“Okay, Dad … please don’t freak out or get mad or anything - please.”
Michael nodded, “Okay, what is it?”
“Well when I was at Dalton, shortly after I came out, I was getting bullied and I thought you hated me,” Blaine started, tears springing in his eyes. Michael opened up his mouth as if to say something, but Blaine held his hand up, asking him to wait until he'd finished. He needed to get this out in the open ... even Kurt didn’t know.
“And I got really depressed,” he continued “I didn't have many friends I could turn to, no one I knew was gay or knew what I was going through. So the day I met Kurt, I was -” Blaine’s voice cracked as sobs broke through his chest “I was going to commit suicide. I just felt the world would be better off without me … I didn't think anyone would care. I had everything set up in my dorm ready, but then as I walked down that staircase to my last Warbler rehearsal, I met him. I found something worth living for, someone who needed me. I found strength ... I found love.” The last part came out all high-pitched and squeaky as tears fell down his face, “I've never told him how much he helped me.”
“Blaine, I didn’t know … I’m so sorry for making you think that I hated you. But you know what? I think you should tell him. He'll be your husband, and I think he should know.” Michael said, fighting back his own tears now too.
Blaine nodded in agreement. He walked over to Kurt and excused them both from the party for a little while. They linked hands and took a stroll through the park. Blaine cried, Kurt cried. Kurt shared his secret too. They held each other close, sobbing together, promising each other that if they ever felt like that again they'd talk to one another. As the heat of their bodies radiated between them, Kurt pulled away and threw Blaine an all too familiar look. He dragged his fiancé towards a tree, his eyes hungry but not for food - for Blaine. Kurt was held against the tree, skin touching skin, the scent of sweat and sex filled the air, wanton moans escaping their lips. Happy, sated and having shared the past, they walked back into the restaurant. The state of their hair and Kurt's slight limp earned them a knowing look from Hiram and Leroy.
“Nice walk, eh boys?” said Leroy, grinning.
“Especially you, Kurt.” Hiram winked.
Kurt turned a crimson colour.
“You know, that colour is beautiful on you.” Blaine whispered in Kurt’s ear, sending shivers down his spine.
“Shut it, Anderson.” Kurt hissed, sitting down gingerly as pain seared through him, and ate Pavlova.
~~~
They soon arrived at Finn and Rachel's, and knocked at the door.
“Hey guys,” Finn greeted them warmly.
“Mommy, U’cle Kurt and U’cle Blaine are here!” Patti squealed, running and throwing her tiny arms around their legs.
“Well, if it isn't my favourite niece!” said Blaine, picking the small girl up, throwing her over his shoulder and tickling her.
“U’cle Blaine, stop it!” she giggled, kicking her legs.
“Hey, guys.” said Rachel, hugging Kurt.
“Hey Rach,” said Kurt “Thanks for having us.”
“So, how are you both?” She asked carefully, staring at Blaine, who took Patti off his shoulder and sat her on his hip.
“Better,” Kurt replied, “It'll take time to get back to how we were, but we're getting there.”
Blaine visibly shrank; he could feel Rachel and Finn's eyes boring into him, judging him for what he did.
“That’s good. Kurt - want to help me in the kitchen?” Rachel asked, staring pointedly at Kurt as if she needed to tell him something urgently.
Kurt nodded and kissed Blaine’s cheek, following Rachel to the kitchen. Blaine smiled weakly as he, Finn and Patti made their way to the living room.
~~~
The kitchen was a sea-blue colour and was filled with the scent of chicken tofu.
“What’s up, Rach? You look like you have bad news …” Kurt frowned.
“Well, you know that I tell Finn everything? Well, when you came around on Tuesday, all upset …” She babbled, and Kurt nodded slowly, “He … um … he wanted to know what was up, and - well, I told him. And he called your dad and Carole and told them ... they're coming to dinner. I'm so sorry, Kurt!”
“What!?” Kurt cried. He was going to kill Finn. “SHIT! Dad's going to go berserk. I mean seriously, he'll want to string Blaine up. Thankfully we're not going to Ohio - he'd chase after him with a shotgun!”
“I know … god, I’m sorry Kurt.”
“Okay, it’s going to be fine. Thanks for the forewarning - I just need to make sure they aren’t left alone together before I can explain.”
They began preparing the roasted vegetables whilst singing their favourite Wicked songs. Their only interruption was a knock at the door, and Kurt ran to answer it.
~~~
Meanwhile
“What the fuck, Blaine?” Finn asked when Patti had gone to play in her room after pestering Blaine to sing. He’d waved her off with a feeble excuse - he wasn’t really in the mood to sing.
“What?!” Blaine asked, unsure of why Finn was yelling at him.
“Why? Just … why would you cheat on Kurt?” asked Finn. It was clear he was putting on the 'big brother’ act, just like he did when they'd first started dating. That talk had terrified and bemused Blaine.
Blaine still couldn’t find any logical reason for why he’d slept with Sebastian. No good had come of it … he'd broken the heart of the guy he loved, and in doing so broke his own. It still hurt to know that all the anger and hate in Kurt’s eyes on Tuesday night was not only aimed at him, but he'd put it there too.
“I don’t know, Finn.” Was all he could manage in a small voice, tears welling in his eyes.
“I just don’t understand. You guys were - I thought you were … and then you - and just I want to know why!” Finn ranted.
“I know Finn, we were …” said Blaine, ”We were happy. I don’t understand either … I guess it was alcohol and incredibly poor judgment on my part.”
“You know Burt's gonna kill you, right?”
“I thought he might... at least I’m safe for a few days. They’re coming to visit us next weekend”
There was a knock at the door.
“Hello Kurt!” Blaine heard Burt say from the door. Shit - he was a dead man! “Is there something you’d like to tell me about you and Blaine son, or do you just not tell your old man anything anymore?”
“Listen, Dad - I know Blaine was stupid …”
“He was more than just stupid, Kurt - he fucking broke your heart!” Burt snapped.
“Yes Dad, he did, but we're working on it.”
“Where is he, Kurt?”
“Dad, please don’t.”
“Where is he?!” Burt demanded. He stormed into the living room, quickly flanked by Kurt, Carole and Rachel.
“What the hell, Blaine? Why?!” Burt demanded.
Blaine sat, blinking in shock at the sheer volume and ferocity of his voice. It took a while for Blaine to come back to his senses, by which time Burt had him by the collar.
“I … uh … um …”
“Well?!”
“Look Dad,” Kurt began; Burt cast him a harsh glare.
“I’ll get to you in a minute! Why did you do that to my son, Blaine?” Burt demanded.
“I - I don’t know. It was a mistake … I was stupid.”
“But you guys are goddamn married, you just … you shouldn’t -” Burt hissed.
“I know.”
“Dad,” said Kurt “I know he did a bad thing, and yes it really, really hurt. He broke my heart. But I - I love him … I can’t live without him. He’s my everything, and I know it’s stupid, and I’m a fool following my heart and not my head … but I love this man. The guy I fell in love with wouldn’t do this to me, I know - but I also know that he’s still in there somewhere, when I look into his eyes that’s who I see … Dad, just give him a second chance like I have … please?”
Tears shone in Blaine's eyes as he saw just how much Kurt had thought about this; how much he wanted to forgive Blaine. It showed him how much he had hurt Kurt, and made him think just how much he didn’t deserve the chance Kurt was giving him.
“Kurt …” He choked.
“Shut up, Blaine!” Kurt snapped, his voice hard and unfeeling. “Dad, please give him a second chance.”
Burt lowered Blaine back to the floor.
“If it means that much to you …”
Kurt nodded “It does. I love him”
Blaine stared at Kurt, noticing the tears in his eyes. He walked slowly and carefully over to Kurt, glancing at Burt to ensure this manoeuvre was okay. He opened his arms for Kurt to fall into, but he didn’t. Kurt's eyes were cold, not like they were earlier on their way over. Blaine walked closer to Kurt and put his arms around him, he didn’t return the gesture, but stood there stiffly. Blaine pulled away and Kurt turned and ran to the kitchen with Rachel hot on his heels, followed again by Carole. That left Blaine alone with Burt and Finn; two guys, a lot bigger that him and who both hated him for hurting Kurt.
They sat in silence, both Burt and Finn staring at Blaine, making him feel worse about himself and what he’d done to Kurt …
~~~
Meanwhile
“Kurt … are you okay?” asked Rachel tentatively.
“No, I’m not fucking okay!” He snapped, but then sighed “Do you think I’m an idiot for taking him back?”
“No, honey – you’re in love.” Carole cooed.
“I do love him, I can’t help it. He – I … we …” Kurt fell into a new wave of tears. “I’m just going to sort myself out in the bathroom. I’ll be back to help in a minute.”
Rachel and Carole returned to preparing the veg, whilst Kurt walked to the bathroom. He stared in the mirror, frowning back at his sunken eyes, hollow cheeks, pale pallor - he looked dreadful. He wiped the tears from his face, composed himself and left the bathroom, but as he did he tripped on the carpet and fell into two strong familiar arms. He took a deep breath and smelled that unmistakable scent - it was Blaine.
“You okay?” asked Blaine, carefully.
“What, apart from you cheating on me? Then yeah, I’m okay.”
“Good. Look Kurt, I really am so sorry.”
“Just,” Kurt held his hand up to Blaine “Save it for later. I’m not getting into this here, especially not with my dad around.”
“Okay,” said Blaine sounding defeated, “I’ll just … yeah.” he released his grip on Kurt's waist.
The rest of the dinner was fairly civil and boring after the morning’s events. They ate in silence except or the occasional question about work or Patti’s education.
~~~
After they’d eaten they sat in the front room with coffee and cookies. Blaine stared at Kurt as he nibbled on a biscuit, and took sips of his coffee. He was pulled from his thoughts when Patti sat down next to him
“U'cle Blainey?” She whined.
“What do you want, trouble?” Blaine asked, making Patti giggle.
“Sing a pretty song, pwease …” She whispered in his ear “Sing a pretty song to u'cle Kurt, he looks sad.” Blaine looked over towards Kurt. He was sad, and Blaine knew why. It broke his heart for him to know that he was the reason. “You make him smiley when you sing pretty songs.” Patti continued to whisper.
“Yeah,” Blaine sighed, the sight making his heart ache.“ He does, doesn't he. Perhaps I will sing a song.”
Patti clapped excitedly as Blaine got up and started to play ‘Sparks Fly’ by Taylor Swift on the piano situated in the window. Everyone fell silent as Blaine began to sing.
Blaine's mind went back to their wedding day. Kurt sang this as they took their first dance, his voice soft and gentle in Blaine's ear. They held each other close, both feeling like the happiest man in the world. Blaine smiled as he saw all of their friends and family watching them start their lives together … he never thought he’d screw up this badly.
Tears cascaded down Blaine's cheeks, blurring his vision.
As the song came to a close, he glanced over at Kurt, who was smiling for the first time since his dad had arrived at the house. It wasn’t really a happy smile, but one of fondness.
“I - I sang that at our wedding.” said Kurt in a small voice, tears shining in his eyes.
“I know.” Blaine whispered.
“Uh, Rach … I think we’re going to go now. Thanks so much for dinner, it was lovely.” Kurt said.
Kurt hugged his family and he and Blaine left. They walked in silence along the sidewalk, until Kurt finally spoke up.
“What the hell, Blaine?!” Kurt demanded.
“What? What have I done? I sang you a love song.”
“Yes … you sang me a LOVE song. Blaine, I’m trying to forgive you for what you did … but to sing a song that I sang at our wedding, when I’m mad at you for breaking the promises you made that day …” Kurt waved his hands in the air in anger.
“I was trying to make you smile. Your smile is amazing, and I’ve missed it … yes, it’s there sometimes, but you used to smile all the time.”
“That was before you fucking broke my heart. Why him?! Why the guy we’ve both detested since high school … why did it have to be him?”
“Because he was there, and I was drunk and horny … but I - I would never have … I don’t … I’m sorry Kurt. May - maybe it wasn’t time for us to move back in together …”
Kurt broke down into sobs and leaned against a wall, gently banging his head before sliding to the floor.
“I’m sorry I hadn’t been around much … I put work before you. I saw that you were sad … lonely - I didn’t do much …”
“You did as much as you could, and you showed me some pretty amazing times at the weekend. I was stupid - I cheated and I hurt you … I was mostly sad because I knew what I was doing would hurt you.”
“If you knew that, why did you keep fucking doing it?” Kurt interjected.
“I - um, I honestly don’t know … He - he can get inside my head …”
“Don’t lie, Blaine …”
“I – okay … well, remember our anniversary last year?” Kurt nodded. “You set up that ‘surprise’ in my office. Well, we have a no sex-in-the-workplace policy. I know it sounds stupid, but anyway… Sebastian knows. If the bosses found out, I’d get fired … Sebastian threatened to tell them.”
“You’re full of shit, Blaine!” Kurt screamed and stormed off.
“Kurt, wait!” Blaine called after him, and broke into a jog to try to catch him up.
~~~
“Kurt, listen … I didn’t know about the policy back then, I promise.” Blaine protested as he entered their apartment.
“Ha, yeah right … if I am to believe this ‘no sex policy’ - which I don’t by the way - then why the fuck did you let that sleazeball manipulate you like that? He wouldn’t have the guts. You told me he had escorts in the office all the time!”
“Yes, I was stupid and weak to let him manipulate me … he can be pretty ruthless. I can’t tell you the number of people he’s screwed over JUST to get a good story. And yeah, he had more escorts than I can count, but I’m not a grass.”
“Right - yeah of course …” Kurt spat shortly. “Let me know when you want to tell me the truth, asshole.”
Kurt stalked off down the hall. He slammed his door shut, and collapsed onto his bed. Why was Blaine lying to him still - did he want to hurt Kurt more? Had he not done it enough?
~~~
Meanwhile
Blaine slumped down slowly onto the bed, tears falling silently down his cheeks.
“Fuck. I screwed up so much … I’m going to have to try hard to fix this stupid mess I made.”
And with that Blaine nestled down with his thoughts and drifted off to sleep while planning the perfect anniversary for Kurt. He had to show Kurt that he still cared.
Comments
awww :( i need them to just be happy again!
me too honey, me too
rawwwrrrr i <3 this story
i must admit Kurt was a bit mean... I'm sorry im making you depressed sweetie #HugsFromToastie
Omggg I know Blaine screwed up but Kurt is really mean too I know he is hurt though:/. I need this happy I feel like i'm getting depressed (Fics tend to do that to me alot)
Yeah I had 2 chapter to read must have missed the first update ... Well first thing looked promising with them getting back together ... But now Blaine oh Blaine what's going on with you.. You messed up again .. Hope things pick up and also sometimes I'm clueless at picking up clues ... Love the story even though they having a bad time ... Keep it up look forward to the next chapter
Blaine's excuses are not cutting it with Kurt....can't wait to see what happens next :)
I'M STILL WAITING 4 THE FOEGIVENSS