Sept. 1, 2013, 12:33 p.m.
I Trusted You
I Needed You: The Big Day
E - Words: 1,369 - Last Updated: Sep 01, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 16/16 - Created: Jun 23, 2013 - Updated: Sep 01, 2013 167 0 0 0 0
Three Months Later- The Big Day
Kurt was pacing his apartment- today was the day. He felt sick to his stomach with nerves, Blaine hadn't arrived yet and they were supposed to be going to Central Park in just under an hour. He began to pace faster as his mind racing, as he began to question the relationship... He really did love Ryan, of course he did. He had made his choice and Ryan had changed. He was being more romantic just like Kurt had wanted; he was even getting more interested in the wedding-y stuff, helping out with the final bits of the planning, choosing the boutonnière's, arranging the menu's for the reception, picking out suits. Kurt decided to pour himself a large glass of wine, to steady the nerves. Ten minutes later Blaine arrived, a flicker of sadness in his eyes but a big bright smile on his face. Blaine smiled at Kurt, his old high school smile, the one that stopped people asking questions, the one that Kurt used to see right through. His heart was breaking, but he'd promised and he wasn't going to let Kurt down any more than he knew he already had. He hoped he could keep his feelings aside... Ryan made Kurt happy and that's all that mattered to Blaine because Kurt deserved happiness.
"Hey, you look amazing." said Blaine, moving to hug Kurt. "You ready to get married?"
"Yeah..." Kurt said "I mean I'm terrified... But yeah..." Kurt paused "are you okay?"
"Yeah... of course... My best friend is getting married" said Blaine nodding, smiling a little, trying to mask the pain he felt.
"You sure?" Kurt asked skeptically, He could see something was bothering Blaine.
Blaine nodded smiling again, he had no chance, Kurt loved Ryan. He began to dress in his suit; it was a black suit with a sliver vest and white dress shirt. He put in place his and Kurt's boutonnière's, simple but elegant, a single white rose.
"Bee?" Kurt said after a while.
"Mmmm?" He said as he straightened his bow tie.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure" said Blaine, turning to look at Kurt. "anything"
"Do you like Ryan? Do you think he is a good guy?"
"Kurt the only thing that matters is if you like him"
"But do you like him?"
"Does it really matter?" said Blaine, moving to the couch?
"Yes. It matters to me that my best friend likes my husband"
"I'm more than just your best friend though, aren't I Kurt. I'm your ex-husband"
"For god sake, just answer the question Blaine!" said Kurt, getting aggravated and Blaine's evasiveness.
"I'm your ex-husband do you really think that I'm going to like your new husband?" said Blaine, Kurt raised an eyebrow, "I mean yeah, Ryan's a good guy... sometimes. He can be really nice when he wants to be" Blaine continued
"So you don't like him"
"that's not what I said"
"So you do like him"
"As a person yes, I like him, I mean he can be a dick sometimes but who isn't. As the man who is about to become your husband not so much"
"Oh?" Kurt said, intrigued. "Why do you say that?"
"Can we not do this now..."
"Do what? I'm only asking... I just want you to get on, so I can still see you. Blaine, I don't want to lose you. You mean too much, I really still want us to be friends...I don't know what I'd do without you"
"Well I'm not one hundred per cent sure that we can..."
"Why? Is it Ryan?"
"If it was would you call off the wedding?" said Blaine,
"No... I love him.... I couldn't do that do him... I love him"
"Then yes, it's because of Ryan." Said Blaine those last three works like a blade twisting in his stomach.
"Is that the truth?" said Kurt, "because I don't think it is"
"Fine. No, it's not Ryan. Kurt, please don't pry at this" Blaine pleaded.
"Or do you just not want to be friends anymore?" Kurt continued, talking over Blaine, his voice more desperate than he wanted it to sound, tears bubbling up in his eyes. "Why can't we still be friends"
"Because I still love you!" Blaine blurted out, shocking himself
"What?" Kurt said stopping and staring at Blaine
"Because I will always love you" Blaine continued, no point in him stopping now "And I have no right to still have these feelings and I know it's too late and that you love Ryan; which is part of the reason I can say this now, because I know it won't change anything. I love you Kurt I have done since the day we met and I did a stupid thing and fucked my whole life up I'm a goddamned mess. And I wish you'd just say the same back to me but I know that you can't possibly feel that way about me anymore after everything I did... all the pain and embarrassment. And I don't deserve even your friendship let alone a second chance with your heart."
Kurt was taken aback he wasn't expecting that. His head was spinning he fell backwards into the chair. Blaine still loved him...
"Um... Right... Okay. Um no wait what!"
"Sorry... Maybe I shouldn't have said anything... "
"Maybe you shouldn't have... But you did. And you can't take it back now... But I... I love Ryan... yes, Ryan"
"I'm sorry it's your day... Um let's get you to Central Park..."
"Yeah okay" Kurt said his head still swimming,
"But I don't think I can stay. I can't watch you get married again. I just can't... I'm sorry. Now that you know I can't pretend that I don't still have feeling for you anymore... but I'm not over you... I'm not sure I ever will be."
"But you're my best man ..."
"I know and then I told you how I felt... I love you and I want you to be happy, even if it means my not seeing you again, and I know Ryan will make you happy. But I will take you to Central Park... If you still want me to that is..."
"Um yeah... Okay" said Kurt, still a little blind sighted, He sniffed slightly.
"I'm sorry..."
"um, it's okay... No actually it's not... " said Kurt, "Because I still want you in my life... you're just going to have to get over your feelings... I need you in my life"
"If it was that easy to just get over you I would have done it a while ago. Do you think I like this... Having to let go..." said Blaine, "Do you think I want to just walk away? You are the only person who really knows me. But I know that I can't watch you love someone else just yet... maybe in a few years but right now I can't, I'm not there yet"
"Fine... lets get to Central Park or i'm going to be late..."
"Okay.."
Kurt and Blaine got in to the town car and rode together to Central Park, both sat in silence, each boy thinking about the other. They pulled up and Blaine turned to Kurt, biting his lip.
"Kurt... i just want you to know that, i really care about you and i want you happy... even if it means breaking my own heart" Blaine said getting out of the car
"I know." said Kurt getting out of the car, his head still spinning. Trying to make sense of what Blaine's told him.
"Goodbye Kurt"
"Goodbye Blaine"
Blaine turned and walked down the street, Kurt watching Blaine leave.
"Don't go...I love you..." Kurt whispered as Blaine left, rounding the corner and exiting the park. Kurt met his dad and began to walk towards Ryan... tears rolling down his cheeks.