(Blaine Anderson's Point of View)

It was hard to pay attention to the road on the way back to Kurt's house. Every minute or so Kurt's reaction would play back in my head, and then my eyes would cloud up with tears. I wiped at them quickly while driving, trying my hardest not to think about anything and just keep my goddamn eyes on the street in front of me.

"God, where am I even going?" I whispered out loud, harshly cutting the silence in the car. Somehow I had found myself on this long stretch of road in the middle of Lima, Ohio. Reaching towards the dashboard, I clicked Kurt's GPS on, relieved to find that he had his home address saved in the device.

Evidently, I must have been driving in the right direction, because once the GPS was done calculating it said I was only about three minutes away from the Hummel household. After parking in the driveway, next to Jackie's car, I rested my forehead against the steering wheel, crossed my arms and propped them on top of my head.

Why?

Why did he say that he didn't love me? I know it isn't true, it can't be true. There's...something in the way that he acts when he's with me. He just doesn't realize it. I refuse to believe that he doesn't love me.

That bastard.

Why did he make me say that so soon? Why does he have to be so goddamn perfect is every goddamn way, and make it impossible for me not to say things like 'I love you' at the first chance I get. If he didn't want this, he should have never let me kiss him on Christmas Eve. He should have never asked me to make love to-fuck him that night. He should have never flirted back, or smiled at me, or sung in the goddamn perfect voice of his when I asked him to. He should have never stood under that damn mistletoe, or given me those damn Christmas gifts, or have taken me out on a fuckingdate.

That freaking bastard.

I grabbed at the door handle angrily, getting out of the car and slamming the door behind me. The cold air hit me and I pulled at the collar of my jacket as I quickly walked to the front door. It took me a minute to figure out which key was for the house, but I got in soon enough, closing the door behind me.

Being in the house by myself felt very weird, and I felt like I had no place being there. What am I doing here? This isn't my home. This isn't my life. This isn't my family. Why am I intruding on their lives?

I sighed, running a hand through my curls as I walked into the kitchen and turned on the light so I could see down the steps into Kurt's room. Everything was eerily still, and I felt almost like an intruder to the place. I felt like I was somehow robbing the home of its dignity. For a moment I thought that the feeling would go away when I reached Kurt's room, but it didn't. It felt even worse when I looked at Kurt's bed, and at his things.

I stood in the middle of the room for a couple of minutes, mindlessly fidgeting with the keys in my hand and staring down at the different pieces of metal. There was a pink key at the end of the metal loop that grabbed my attention, with little yellow flowers outside the Nissan logo. I assumed that the key was Jackie's and stared at it for a little while, admiring the design on the metal.

A very, very dangerous thought popped into my head, and before I really thought about it, I was rushing towards my stuff in the corner of the room, and beginning to pack my things. It was a blur of clothes and shopping bags as I attempted to try and remove any evidence of the fact that I had stayed in the bedroom at all. Three minutes later, there were several bags slung over my shoulders, and the only thing left to take was my guitar. I took a deep breath, looking around the room one more time before walking out the door and up the basement stairs.

I didn't allow myself to ponder the idea because I knew that if I stopped to think about it for too long, I wouldn't go through with it. All I wanted was to be out of here - away - far from it all. I popped the trunk of the Nissan Versa open without hesitation, dropping my things in the back before jogging back around to the driver's seat. I turned the car on and grabbed Jackie's GPS from inside of her glove compartment, searching for the place named 'The Anderson Inn' in the accommodations category.

"So how was your Christmas?" Kurt asked, walking in on Blaine on his laptop, sitting criss-crossed on top of the bed.

Blaine looked up, smirking at the other boy. "It was fantastic. Couldn't have asked for better."

Kurt smiled and nodded, crossing his arms and leaning on his left foot casually. He looked around the room, glancing towards the electric piano that was still in its box in the corner of the room. "Do you know how to play piano?"

"Yep."

"Are you good?"

"Um...yeah...I'm alright I guess. I mean, I'm not a concert pianist, but I can fudge my way through things."

"Well let's see," Kurt said, walking over to the piano he had gotten for Christmas and picking it up from where it was leaning against the wall. He carried the box to the bed, set it down and began the process of taking the instrument out of the box.

"Can you play?" Blaine asked, taking the laptop off his lap and putting it aside.

"Yes," Kurt replied, sliding the bubble-wrapped electric instrument out of the box, "but I haven't played in a long, long time."

"Neither have I."

"Well, it's a good thing I got a piano then, isn't it?" Kurt unwrapped the cord that came in the box, and got up to go plug it in, in an outlet on the other side of his bed. Blaine took the other end of the cable, plugging it into the back of the piano. "This is actually really nice," He murmured in wonder, staring at shiny keys and the vast varieties of buttons on the keyboard.

"Play something," Blaine said with a smile, propping his chin on his fist.

Kurt scooted closer to the piano and put his fingers over the keys. He laughed quietly to himself in reminiscence before playing. "Don't make fun of me. My whole piano repertoire consists of the music I listened to when I was 14."

"No one's making fun of you."

"I can see it that stupid smile you're wearing," Kurt defended, pointing his finger towards Blaine, but still grinning himself.

"This is not my judgmental smile, this is my 'waiting for Kurt to play something on his piano' smile."

The other boy sighed, playing a few experimental chords before rhythmically pressing out an E minor chord. Blaine tilted his head, trying to figure out what Kurt was trying to play.

"Sing it," he said.

"Cause every time we touch I get this feeling, and every time we kiss I swear I can fly. Can't you feel my heart beat fast? I want this to last. Need you by my side," Kurt sang.

Blaine had been beaming the whole time Kurt sang, "Okay, okay, Cascada, not bad. Next?"

"Umm..." Kurt made a face, trying to remember something. A moment later he was playing a B minor chord. "SINCE YOU'VE BEEN GOOOOOOONE. I CAN BREATHE FOR THE FIRST TIME. I'M SO MOVING OOOOOOON, YEAH YEAH. THANKS TO YOU, NOW I GET, WHAT I WAAAAAAAAANT," he scream-sang, purposefully trying to sound obnoxious.

"That was beautiful," Blaine replied, wiping away an imaginary tear.

"Your turn!" Kurt turned the piano around, so it was facing Blaine.

Blaine thought for a moment before splaying his fingers over the keys. "Look at this photograph, every time I do it makes me laugh-"

"Oh dear god, no. Don't you dare play Nickelback in this room. Not in my house." Kurt interrupted, reaching over and stilling his playing. Blaine's eyes squinted as he doubled over in laughter. "This is no laughing matter!" Kurt said as he got up off the bed and went over to the bathroom to change into his pajamas.

Blaine's laughter subsided, and he started playing again, first a strong low chord, and then the melody on a higher octave. Kurt recognized the song immediately, and he waited for Blaine to start singing it. However, Blaine didn't sing along, instead he just played the verse through with just an instrumental. Kurt had taken off his shirt and changed into light blue sweatpants by the time the verse was over. He was in a playful mood, and decided to run back into his bedroom, singing out the chorus loudly.

"BABY1 BABY! BABY! When you touch me like this!" he sang, closing his eyes and reaching his hands humorously towards the curly haired man. Blaine was a little bit thrown off when he saw Kurt's exposed torso, but picked himself up a second later and continued to play the chorus. "And you hold me like that! It was gone with the wind but it's all coming back to me!

Kurt continued to sing, migrating around the room and using one of his bottles of lotion as an spontaneous microphone. Blaine kept pounding out the song on the keyboard, watching amusedly as the brunette gave him a special performance.

He belted out the last notes of the song, holding the bottle in front of his face and falling back on the bed near the front side of the piano. Blaine finished playing, dramatically, adding his own fancy riffs and scales to the piece.

"Oh yeah, 'not a concert pianist' my ass," Kurt said, looking up at Blaine from where he was lying beneath him.

"What, I took piano lessons until my junior year of high school." Blaine leaned down on his elbow next to Kurt, letting his legs hang off at the other side of the bed.

"You humble asshole."

"You adorable performer."

"You can't compliment me after I call you an asshole."

Blaine hummed, tilting his head to the side, "Why not?"

"It's against the rules."

"Against the rules," Blaine chuckled, leaning down closer to me, "I think we've broken a hell of a lot of rules already Kurt."

"Think of my reputation."

"We're practically criminals."

"What will the kids think?"

"I don't think you really even know what you're talking about anymore," Blaine laughed.

"I don't." Kurt mumbled before their lips met, both of them completely forgetting about the piano.

"TURN RIGHT IN...1 MILE...EXIT 45." The GPS blared through the silent car.

I snapped out of my daydream, blinking my eyes a few times in an attempt to let go of the memory. I took a deep breath and turned the GPS off, because I was now in familiar territory and knew the streets quite well.

Five minutes later I arrived at The Anderson Inn, and I parked out back. I closed my eyes tight, praying to whatever was listening that Cooper still held his annual New Year's Eve parties on the roof. Upon getting out of the car, I looked up, seeing the glimmer of a few disco lights reflecting off the roof and a sigh of relief flooded over me.

"Blaine Anderson, is that you?" I heard a man at the front desk say as soon as I walked in. Looking up, I saw the man who'd been the manager here for the last 20 years, who was always sucking up to my father. He hadn't changed a bit, and he still had this freakishly peppy mood about being a hotel manager.

I lifted my hands a little, trying to hush his excitement to see me.

"Heavens to Betsy, Blaine! I haven't seen your face around in years!"

"Yes, yes I know, Glen, it's nice to see you too." I leaned in close to the counter, glancing around the lobby for anyone familiar. It was fairly empty, being as it was the middle of the night, but there were still a few people who were figuring out their New Years plans. "My father isn't anywhere around here, is he?"

"Nope, he isn't due for a visit for another week, Blainers," Glen replied.

"Okay, good," I sighed in relief, "Is Coop still here?"

"Yes, I believe so. He's his usual get-together on the roof. I think they might be all done by now, but you never know, those crazy kids like to stay up till all hours of the night."

"Alright, thanks Glen," I said with a wave, then walked quickly towards the elevators at the other end of the hotel lobby. My heart was beating like crazy. I felt like someone I knew would walk around the corner at any moment, just dying to hear what I'd been doing with myself for the past couple of years. I wonder what my father had told everyone, where he assumed I had gone. For a brief moment, I considered the idea that he had said that there was a terribly fatal accident. Images of a fake funeral popped into my head, with my whole family dressed in black and my mother dabbing her eye with a tissue.

A bell inside the wall clicked and the elevator door slid open, revealing that there was no one inside. I breathed a small sigh of relief, quickly getting into the elevator and pressing the button labeled '24'. There really was no 24th floor, it was the roof. My father had made it that way so guests would be less intrigued by the option.

The roof was littered with people, still dancing and drinking, enjoying the night in increasingly irresponsible ways. I never understood why Cooper decided it was a good idea to have a lot of people get drunk on a roofevery year. I mean, seriously? A roof? I know, maybe this year we should celebrate Cinco De Mayo around the peak of a volcano.

The music was loud, and I spotted a DJ in the corner, who was still apparently having just as much fun as everyone else was. My eyes scanned the crowd, searching for my brother in the sea of people. Good call Glen, they've definitely all gone home.

I finally spotted him, sitting on a bar stool, talking very closely to a woman in a small red dress. He was wearing what I had always called his 'smolder'. It's this seemingly irresistible look that he always puts on right before going in for 'the big kiss', as he likes to call it. My assumptions were proved correct when he a second later he leaned in, cupping the woman's face and kissing her fully on the mouth. Their form was very sloppy, being as they were both probably very drunk, and I crinkled my nose at the sight.

I figured that I should probably do something now if I wanted to talk to him, before things...escalated. Making my way across the dance floor, I kept my head tilted down, just in case someone I knew was there. Once at the bar, I tapped on Cooper's shoulder nervously.

His lips separated with the other girl's with a loud pop as he twisted his head around to look at me. I gulped.

"BLAINE!" Cooper yelped, turning around in his stool and forgetting all about the girl. "Oh my god, man! I haven't seen you in years! Come 'ere!" He pulled me into a hug, and I found myself smiling into his embrace. He really missed me.

"Hey, Coop."

"Where have you been, oh my god! I thought, dad said you ran off to college but he never would tell me where and god, Blaine. Where have you been?"

"Um...New York," I chuckled, rubbing the back of my head.

"New York," Cooper echoed, laughing as he hit me playfully in the arm. "I should have guessed! I'm actually thinking of giving that old town a second chance and moving back there. Wait a minute...do mom and dad know you're here? Why weren't you at Christmas, man?"

I stuttered a bit, not sure of how to respond. "Can we um..." I leaned in closer to him, "can we talk about this somewhere else?" I asked, glancing over at the girl in the red dress, who did not look amused.

Cooper looked behind him, "Don't worry gorgeous, this will only be a second." He lead me away from the bar and back through the crowd. There was a small hallway where the elevator was located. The music was muffled inside, so we stopped to talk there. "Where've you been, little brother?"

"Well...New York."

"Yes, I know that, but what school?"

"I um...I haven't...I don't go to school."

Cooper looked confused, turning his head back to the party for a second and then back to me. "But dad said you..."

"Dad doesn't know where the hell I am."

"...Blaine...what's going on?"

"I've been kind of...going with the flow in the city for the past year or two..."

"What do you mean, going with the flow? Cooper asked, still very bewildered, "What, did you join some kind of hippie commune, Blaine? What the hell does 'going with the flow' mean?"

"I...I just...I survived, okay? I'm alright now, that's all that matters."

Cooper's eyes widened and he stepped closer to me, placing his hand tentatively on my arm. "Are you...are you telling me that you were out on the streets?" He looked me hard in the eyes, practically ripping into my soul and reading me like a book.

I averted his gaze and stared down at the ground. I didn't know how to respond, so I simply nodded.

"Blaine," my brother whispered in disbelief. His silence caused me to look at his cautiously through black eyelashes. "Oh my god, Blaine." Cooper was suddenly holding me close, his hand on the back of my head and his other arm around my shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me Blaine? I'm your brother...why didn't you come find me...or go live with grandpa...or anything but that, Blaine."

"Grandpa is in Italy, Coop," I mumbled into his shoulder.

"Doesn't matter," he replied, still holding me close, "it's still better than New York City for god sakes. Jesus, Blaine, didn't I tell you not to bother going there? Broadway's dead."

I let out a laugh, shaking my head at his utter irrationality. Suddenly, Cooper mentioning Broadway brought Kurt back to my mind, and I pulled away from the hug.

"That's not it though, that's not why I'm here. I mean, it is...but it isn't."

"What's up, little brother?"

"It's a really long story, and I'll tell you the whole thing later, but basically I just need a place to stay for a little while - a place that isn't mom and dad's house."

"Well where have you been staying?"

"At um...at this guy's house in Lima."

"Okay...so how did you get here?"

"I um...I kind of borrowed someone's car," I replied sheepishly.

Cooper breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, good, I thought you stole a car for a second." He laughed to himself, and I just stood awkwardly, my mouth slowly falling open.

"Right...that'd be...crazy..."

"OH MY GOD! YOU STOLE A CAR!" Cooper yelped, his eyes widening as he pointed an accusing finger at me.

"Shhhh! Cooper, shh!" I hushed, looked around to see if anyone heard him. "I didn't steal anything."

"Well did you get their permission?"

"...No but-"

"No, Blaine! That is not-what is wrong with you? That is not borrowing, Blaine, that is grand theft auto."

"But I-"

"No, Blaine, no but's! C'mon, we're leaving," He said, angrily grabbing my elbow while he walked over to the elevator.

"Wha-Coop! What the hell? Where are we going?"

"We're returning that car you stole."

"I can't go back there, Coop!"

"Um, yes you can! And you will!" The elevator doors opened and Cooper pulled me inside.

"It's a long, complicated story, Cooper. And you're drunk! You can't drive!"

He looked at me in bewilderment, "Who said I was drunk? I am not drunk!"

"It's New Year's Eve, Coop, there's no way that you're sober right now. And that girl you were with was practically falling off her stool."

"Yes, Blaine, she was drunk. I was simply acting like I was drunk so that she wouldn't feel like I was taking advantage of her."

"...but you were taking advantage of her..."

Cooper sighed, leaning against the elevator railing, "New Year's doesn't count, Blaine."

I laughed in amazement, looking down at the floor and then to the elevator walls. "You're absolutely crazy."

"No Blaine," the doors opened and he grabbed my elbow again, "I'm not crazy. You're the one who stole a car tonight."

"Oh shut up."

At 5:23 AM I finally pulled up to the Hummel household, with Cooper followed closely in his car behind me. I took the keys out of the ignition and stared at them for while, for no particular reason. I was so damn tired, and a part of me just kind of wanted to go inside and apologize, snuggle up to Kurt and just fall asleep. But I knew that it couldn't be like that. I had ruined everything, and he had probably told everyone the truth by now.

I noticed that the first signs of the sunrise were coming into the horizon, and panicked, knowing that Burt might be leaving to go the garage any minute now. There was a notepad in Jackie's glove compartment, along with a pen. I grabbed it, scribbling out a quick note on the paper and then rolling it carefully into one of the loops of the key chain. Without giving it a second thought, I got out of the car and jogged over to their mailbox, slipping the set of keys inside and then jogged back over to Cooper's car and got in on the passenger side.

"Is that it?" Cooper asked. He was slouching in his seat, with his head propped up on his hand, and his arm leaning on the door.

I took a quick look in the backseat, looking at all of the shopping bags filled with the clothes Kurt had bought me, along with my guitar. "Yeah."

"So you don't have anyone to you know...apologize to...?"

"Already done, I left a note."

Cooper sighed, turning his car back on and putting the gear in drive. "Yes, because nothing says 'I'm sorry for stealing your car' like a nice note."

"Can you just drive, please?"

He smiled to himself and began accelerating down the street. I was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief when the house was out of sight Slouching down in my chair, I closed my eyes and leaned my head to the side, letting drowsiness take over me. I was half asleep when Cooper spoke again, knocking my back into consciousness.

"So when are you going to tell me how you got here?"

"Mmmrrrpphh."

"English, Blaine."

"Can I just sleep for a little bit, please?"

"Well, seeing as I haven't gotten any sleep tonight because I drove you all over Ohio...no, you can't sleep for a little bit," Cooper replied, and then nudged me in the leg. "C'mon, spill."

I sighed, thinking back to last week and trying to figure out whether or not I should filter out certain parts of the story. "I was playing guitar on the street one night, a couple of weeks ago, and this guy and his friend came stumbling out of a bar. They were drunk, and the guy invited me to spend the night on his couch, so I wouldn't have to be out in the cold..."

Cooper's eyebrows rose up in sympathy, and I tried to pretend that I didn't notice, just deciding to continue the story.

"So I stayed on his couch, and then somehow manipulated my way into getting him to let me stay for the rest of the week.

My brother's brow furrowed in confusion, "This does not sound like the Blaine that I know."

"What do you mean?"

"Since when does my little brother invite himself over people's houses? You've always been the least intrusive person I know. I just...can't imagine you doing that."

"Well, I was...fascinated with him."

"With the drunk guy?"

"His name is Kurt, yes. And he's...well he's...for lack of a better term, gorgeous."

Cooper nodded in understanding, "Ohh," he sighed. "Okay, continue."

"Yeah...well...I um...I stayed there for about a week, and we ended up getting along pretty well. He was really kind to me, and even though the whole situation should have been the most awkward thing in the world...it wasn't. We clicked. We just got along, you know?"
"So a couple of days before Christmas Eve, Kurt's friend called him and Kurt somehow ended up making up this story about how I was his boyfriend. It was apparently some kind of revenge or something that he needed to get out on the girl, and at the moment I seemed like a good candidate as a potential pretend boyfriend.

"Wow, I honestly didn't think the story would be this interesting..." Cooper muttered, looking at me quickly. I just stared at him. "Okay, okay continue."

"And then two minutes after he hung up with his friend, his parents called saying that they heard that Kurt had a boyfriend."

"Wow, news travels fast."

"So anyways, they invited me, 'his boyfriend', over for the holidays, and I managed to convince Kurt into letting me play the role of his significant other."

"Oooo! Blaine! So you did fool around with the gorgeous guy."

"You're not going to let me finish my story, are you?" I deadpanned.

"Okay, okay, okay, I'm done interrupting I promise."

"So yeah, on the way there he bought me some clothes and we bonded a lot on the way there. Well, that is, until his friend called. She didn't know that he had put her on speakerphone and she made a joke about Kurt thinking I was attractive. I believe the term that she used was 'sex god'."

I looked towards Cooper, whose lips were tightly folded behind his teeth, and had an anxious look on his face.

"You're dying to say something, aren't you?" I asked with a sigh.

"It's legitimately killing me."

"Go ahead."

"How badly did you freak out when you heard that?"

"Oh there was a full on dance party going on inside my head, I can assure you."

Cooper smiled and gestured for me to continue.

"So we arrived at his house, and I met his dad, and started the whole 'boyfriend' thing. And then I found out that we would be sleeping in the same bed, and at first Kurt was kind of very freaked out about that, but he warmed up to the idea quickly." I found myself smiling reminiscently as the memories passed through my head. "The next day was Christmas Eve, and I met his whole family. They loved me. You should have seen me, Coop, I had the charm turned on full blast."

Cooper laughed, and I continued.

"After dinner that night everyone went to a midnight mass, and Kurt and I stayed there to do the dishes. We had some wine, and we danced and sang to Christmas music while we worked. And then um...we were having this little water fight..."

That got Cooper's attention, and his eyebrows rose as he took his eyes off of the road to glance at me.

"...and I kissed him...and then stuff happened."

"Stuff?"

"Yes."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Just...stuff..." I answered vaguely.

"What are you-" Cooper's sucked in a breath of air. "Ohhh, that stuff. You...oh my....god, Blaine. Good job, little bro."

"I um...thank you?" It was a bit weird telling all of this to my brother. I hadn't had a conversation with him about this kind of stuff since high school. "So yeah, I guess after...stuff...we never really talked about the fact that said stuff happened. It's kind of odd now that I think about it. We were still kind of careful around each other, but if I wanted to kiss him, I just kissed him. After a couple of days he kept wanting to know about my past and why I was in the situation that I was in...and after a couple more days I told him all about it. I'm not really sure when or how it happened, but I slowly started to really fall for the guy."

Cooper gave me a saddened look, because he obviously knew that the story didn't have a very happy ending.

"We um...we went to a New Year's Eve party with a bunch of his old friends, and after midnight I um...I told him that I loved him." My brother gasped quietly in shock. "I asked him if he loved me back, and he said that he didn't. So I left."

"You left?"

"I left."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"Blaine...that's...why the hell would you leave?"

"Because I'm tired of not knowing what any of this means to him and if it doesn't really mean anything, then I don't even want to be around him anymore. I'm tired of always playing the victim, Coop. For once I just wanted to be in control of something and I just had to leave."

"Blaine..."

"I don't know how to explain it, I just...I couldn't stay." My voice tore a little, and I swallowed thickly to try and cover it up. He looked about me sympathetically again as silence filled the car. I close my eyes as I felt tears start to form, trying to keep myself together.

"You should try to get some sleep," Cooper said quietly, "I'll wake you up when we get back to the hotel."

"Thanks Coop," I whispered back, "for everything."

He reached over and put his hand on my knee, rubbing it kindly for a moment. "Don't worry about it, little bro."

It was 2PM on New Year's Day , and Cooper and I were sharing a two-bed room back at my father's hotel. The sunlight had come in through the drapes and I stared at the light illuminating the ceiling.

"Hey, B?" Cooper said, from where he was lying the same way on his own bed.

"Yeah."

"I was serious when I said that I was thinking about moving back to New York." I turned my head on the pillow, looking back at him from the bed adjacent to his. "'Free Credit Rating Today dot com' wants to change their advertising strategy, and they're letting me go. I'm ready for a change of pace, and I think the city might be good for me."

I nodded, and moved my head back to staring at the ceiling.

"I'd really love it if you'd come with me," Cooper said.

"Really?"

"Yeah," he replied, staring at the ceiling as well, "we both can use a fresh start."

"I'd like that," I said, my mouth twisting into a small smile.

That night Cooper and I began driving to New York City. We were going to look at apartments, and rent one out as soon as possible. Cooper was going to fly back to California to get the rest of his things, while I stayed in New York and tried to settle things in. For the first time in a very long time, my future seemed hopeful. I wasn't going to let anything stop me from getting what I wanted this time, not even a city as huge as New York.

We were about five hours into the drive there, and I could tell that I was getting way too much time to think to myself. Every few minutes memories of Kurt would come back into my head, and a dull ache would settle itself anew in my chest.

I thought about the moment when I first realized that our relationship was something deeper than just attraction. It was at Puck's bonfire party, after Kurt asked me about high school. He didn't say anything after I told him, he just kissed me. It was as simple as that - a kiss. Kurt purely wanted to help me feel wanted and cherished, so he held my face in his hands and kissed me like I'd never been kissed before

My own emotions kind of freaked me out after that. I had barely known him for over a week, and feelings of love were etching their way into my thinking. That's why I asked him all of those weird questions. I figured that there had to be something about him that I would find completely repulsive. There had to be something that broke the cycle of never-ending attraction that I had for him. But the more questions I asked, the more I was sure of it - the more the thought 'I love you' came across my mind.

Why didn't he see that?

Why didn't he see how badly I wanted all of him?

"Do you have a notepad or piece of paper I can borrow?" I asked Cooper.

"Yeah, somewhere in the glove box."

I fished out a yellow legal pad out of the compartment, conveniently finding a blue pen attached to the binding. Finding inspiration, I wrote down the words that came into my head.

I'm not looking for a free ride home, back to the middle
I need a new locale
I need a boy that calls me baby
I need to know if he can save me

I need somewhere I can drive all night,
Out into the darkness,
Follow the headlights down
I've got to know if they can take me
I've got to know if they can save me