2013

Kurt called Blaine one afternoon in February and was shocked when Blaine's mother answered.

“Hello, this is Blaine's phone” her diction was precise, but he could hear raucous laughter and loud music behind her and Blaine shouting “ONE-TWO-THREE, ONE-TWO-THREE, ROCK, STEP! NOW SPIN, EENA!”

“Hi, it's Kurt. Is Blaine there?” Why was Blaine's mother is answering his cell?

“Oh, Kurt! Hello!” Mrs. Anderson sounded genuinely pleased to hear from him, and this was most confusing of all to Kurt. And was she laughing? “Yes, yes, dear, he's right here. Blaine. Blaine! I don't think he can hear me over the music. BLAINE! Kurt would like to speak with you!”

There was a pause, as the volume on the music goes down, more loud laughter, some gasping from someone. Mrs. Anderson sucked in a deep breath and said “It's lovely to hear from you, Kurt. I hope you're well” before handing the phone to Blaine.

Kurt heard him say “Thank you, Mama” as he took the phone.

Blaine was still laughing when he says “Hi Baby!” Behind him, Kurt could hear Tina shouting 'OH GOD THANK YOU KURT! YOU SAVED ME! HE'S TRYING TO KILL ME!” and Mrs. Anderson laughing even louder.

What the hell is going on at the Anderson household?

“Don't even listen to her. I am not trying to kill her. I'm merely trying to teach her to jitterbug.”

“Merely. I see. Jitterbug?”

“Part of our “Let's Not Be Miserable and Sit Home Every Night” plan. We're going to take dance lessons – jitterbug lessons, to be exact!”

“You're going to take jitterbug lessons with Mike Chang's girlfriend? Mike Chang professional dancer Mike Chang? Doesn't she already know?”

“Nah. It's one of their things. They both recognize that enforcing a teacher-student paradigm on their relationship--- ”

“----would result in nothing good. I get it. But if you already know how to jitterbug, why are you taking lessons?”

“I want to take the advanced section, you know with the flips and the spins, so I'm teaching Tina the basics now.”

“In your room?”

“Living room. Mom helped me roll up the carpets and move the furniture around.”

“Your mother let you move the furniture?” This seemed so unlike the always-proper Mrs. Anderson.

“Yeah. Shocking, right? I don't know, for a while now, she and Tina have been having these heart-to-heart talks – 'Girl's Only, Blaine'” He raised his voice's pitch in imitation of Tina. “And, I don't know. Mom's really loosening up. Sometimes.”

“....she's secretly hoping spending all this time with Tina is going to “turn you straight” and then Tina will be your girlfriend?”

“No, actually. I don't know what they've been talking about, but whatever it is, Mom seems more.....accepting. More relaxed. She's even asked about you several times.”

“She asked about me?”

“Yeah, completely unprompted. Like, apropos of nothing, she'll ask how you're liking your classes, or when you're coming home. One time, it was about a recipe she thought you might enjoy.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. Odd, right? But nice. It seems like she's really trying, like she's really sincere about trying, so I'm going to run with it.”

“That's.....amazing, Blaine. That makes me happy.”

“Me too, baby. So, tell me what you're doing with your day.”

“Oh, I was just bored. But since Tina's there, you get back to dancing and call me later? Tell me all about it.”

“Yeah, Mom's got her in the kitchen, making tea. Okay, baby, I love you so much. I'll call after dinner – 8ish?”

“Perfect, love. I love you too. Talk to you soon.”

Blaine leans back in his desk chair, settling his elbows on the arms, and crosses his ankles on the corner of his desk. He loves this vintage chair, the creak and the pop of every movement. He smiles as he sees Kurt accept the Video Call.

He can hear Kurt before the camera turns on. “Hiiiii baby!”

It makes him laugh. “Hi, you. Ah, there you are” as the picture finally resolves.

Kurt is sitting at his desk in his dorm room – probably has just been doing homework, but homework that has frustrated him, judging from the height and dishevelment of his hair. He's gorgeous.

“Now, how is it that you know how to jitterbug? And why didn't I know this about you?”

“They taught it to us for Cotillion.”

“Okay, you keep mentioning this “Cotillion' like I'm supposed to know what it is, but the only reference I have is the dance they do in Pride & Prejudice...so, spill, Anderson.”

“Umm. Okay, well...” Blaine frowns slightly as he orders his thoughts. “So, my mother is on this committee at the Country Club.

“Uh-hunh.”

“And so are most of her friends. So, they organize these events throughout the year, social things for their kids – mostly from Dalton and Crawford.”

“What kind of things?”

Blaine laughs, already can hear what Kurt's reaction will be. “Ice Cream Socials. Tea Parties. Picnics. And then there's Cotillion, which is actually the girls' coming out party. Cotillion's really only one night, but we wound up calling all the events Cotillion.”

“.....Coming out party? As in, coming out in society? Their DEBUT, like they're Lizzie Bennet?”

“The very same.”

“Stop it. People don't still do that. That's from the dark ages?”

“I can assure you, people still do do that. I've been there.”

“Blaine! What's it like?”

“.....complicated. And rather stuffy. At least I like my tails, but the girls--”

“TAILS? Blaine Anderson! We have been together for how long and how have I never known you have tails?”

“They're packed away, love. I don't wear them anymore.”

“WHY NOT?”

“I don't go to Cotillion anymore.”

“Why?”

“Well....”Blaine doesn't want to sound bitter, doesn't want to admit that he's hurt he's been excluded from this thing that has been such a pain in the ass for so long. But... “Well, honestly, the purpose of Cotillion is to introduce Proper Young Ladies to the acceptable Proper Young Men who are in their parents pool of Acceptable Husbands. And I'm not one of those any more.”

Kurt takes a deep breath, like he's not quite sure what to say. “Why?”

“Well, aside from the fact that I go to McKinley now and there's that Public School stench around me – I'm gay, Kurt.”

Kurt chuckles fondly. “I'm pretty sure I've noticed that about you, Blaine.”

“Well, my dad can try to cover it up, set up as many screens to hide it as much as he wants, but I'm not going to. I've done my time, learned my etiquette, learned my dances, squired the girls in my year around for their debut, and that's it. I'm not marriageable material for them,” for them, only for you, Kurt “and I'm not going to pretend that I am.”

“Oh, baby.” Kurt sighed.

“And when I explained it like that to my mom, she agreed that I don't have to go any more. So, the next time I pull out my tails – and yes, darling, they were tailored just for me – will probably be for our wedding. Unless you want me in a color other than charcoal.”

Kurt heaves a dreamy sigh, a slightly dopey and adorable smile on his face and Blaine thinks he's probably either picturing their wedding ceremony, or maybe just himself in charcoal formal wear. “Oh, god, I do love you in charcoal.”

Blaine laughs, and then Kurt laughs, and for a moment, they are just silent, together.

“Okay, but tell me more! I just googled Cotillion, and do they make the girls wear white?”

“Yes. Well, at these, since they're mixed-age, the girls coming out are in white. The other girls can wear whatever color they want – but the dresses all have floor-length full skirts.” Blaine wrinkles his nose as he tries to remember the details he knows Kurt will enjoy. “Most of them are sleeveless, or just cap sleeved. The girls all wear gloves – usually opera length – you know above the elbow?”

“Mmmm,” Kurt had taken a sip of his coffee, despite the late hour – and he swallows. “Mid-bicep, actually. And yes, Blaine, I know opera gloves.”

“Ummm. The guys are in tails – well, at least for ours. I've heard of them where they are in costume or just in plain tuxes.”

“Costume?”

“It's a southern thing. Depending on where you are, some Cotillions, the guys are in Civil War uniforms.”

“.....and I'm just going to let that go, because I have no idea how to respond to that.”

“Yeah, I know.” Blaine smiles again. “So, that's about it. We had to take etiquette classes, we had to take dance classes, all building up for the year you turn 16.”

“What happens at 16? And when did you start?”

“Sixteen is the year the girl's “Come Out.” That's the big year. And I think our parents all started us when we were 12 – just before we started at Dalton and Crawford.”

“This is all fascinating to me. It's like another world. And why did I never hear about it while I was at Dalton?”

“Cotillion's like Fight Club, Kurt. You don't talk about it.”

“But you're talking about it now.”

“With you, silly. I don't have any secrets from you.”

“awwww, baby.” Kurt's chair squeak as he wiggles. “Now, tell me more!”

“Well, what else do you want to know, Mr. Nosy?”

“Do you mind talking about it?”

“No. Not really. I mean, some parts of it were cool, some were useful, some were fun. But some parts of it were awful, some were upsetting, some were just.....” Blaine sighs heavily, “just really really hard.”

“Like what, baby?”

Blaine is silent, sifting through his memories. His eyes close so he can see faces, see her face.

“I guess I'm going to tell you about Charlotte now.”

“Charlotte?”

“Charlotte. I called her Charlie. She was the daughter of one of my father's partners in the firm. She didn't go to Crawford – she went to another prep school, a boarding school far away, but her parents made her come home for every Cotillion thing. She didn't really know anybody there and she felt like an outcast. Kind of like me. So, we kind of banded together for things.”

“You're always taking care of people.”

“Well, she took care of me too. She's the first person I told I was gay. I didn't want her to think.... that I was....I didn't want to lead her on. She was really eager to have people like her, love her, and I wanted her to understand that we were just friends.”

“God, Blaine – and you met her when?”

“When I was 14. We were both 14.”

“Fourteen years old and had the presence of mind and the...the good heart to be honest with her about something so personal. That's a lot more than most 14 year old boys would do.”

“Yeah, well. It was terrifying. But, she was cool with it. She was really cool. And sweet and we were friends. She didn't really want to have anything to do with any of the other boys – so, we just always wound up being partners for everything. I was her escort.”

Kurt chokes on his coffee. “ESCORT?”

“Oh god, no. Not like that, Kurt! It's like a prom date. It's...you're just supposed to, like, take care of her for the evening. She's supposed to dance with every guy there – figure out who's a potential boyfriend – but you make sure she has enough punch, things like that.”

“I bet you were good at that.”

“Yeah. Well. At least I never got jealous, like some of the guys.”

“So, why haven't I met Charlotte? Is she off at some fabulous finishing school in Switzerland?”

Blaine can feel his throat tighten, and he tries to clear it. “No,” he says quietly. “She's dead.”

“Oh my god. What happened?”

“She killed herself.” Blaine tries to sound blasé, just stating the facts, like he didn't cry for a week after her death.

“Oh my god, baby. Oh baby.” Kurt's hands flutter in front of him, as if he's trying to reach out the touch Blaine through the screen.

“....I mean, she had a lot of things going on, but that night was just too much for her.”

“What happened?”

Blaine bites his lips, feels his eyes fill with tears. He takes a deep shuddering breath. “It was my dad.”

“Your dad?”

“Well, my dad and her mom....”

“I'm confused.”

Blaine looks down at his hands, clasped tightly in his lap. “She left the ballroom for some reason – god, probably to find me – and found them in one of the side rooms. In a very compromising position. She was so upset – it wasn't the first time she'd walked in on her mother and someone – when she found finally found me, she just blurted it all out. And that night, after we all went home, she swallowed a bottle of pills and died in her bathroom.”

“Oh my god. What did you do?” Kurt had his hand half over his mouth in shock.

“I did....nothing,” Blaine shrugs his shoulders, tilting his head as he looks at Kurt on his screen. “I cried. What could I do? They knew they'd been caught – they came back to the ballroom within minutes, acting like there was nothing wrong. Dad is always been like that – thinks it's nobody's business what – or who – he does on his self-proclaimed 'well-deserved downtime away from the office'. He doesn't care who he hurts.”

“Oh, baby. Oh, love. Oh my god.”

“Well, it wasn't the first time I knew my dad cheats on my mom. And it wasn't the last either.” Blaine can't keep the bitterness out of his voice. His entire mouth tastes bitter.

“Oh, god, baby. So that's why...with Chandler....”

“Yeah. With Chander....... I just....I just see what it does to my mother....and even the hint that it was happening with us....it just freaked me right the fuck out.”

Kurt looks devastated, but he shakes his head and tries to smile. “Oh love. I'm so sorry. I swear....I promise....”

“Shhhhhh. I know. I know. You just have to know what's going on in my head sometimes.”

“I want to hear it all, Blaine. I want to know everything.”

“We're not going to be like that.”

“No, baby, we're not. We're not. We're going to be kind to each other and loving and so wildly in love with each other we won't even have time to even notice anyone or anything else.”

Blaine knuckles tears out of his eyes, and smiles. His eyes close. “That sounds really really good, Kurt.”

“But, baby, why haven't you told me this before? You said you don't have any secrets from me.”

“It never seemed to....I just didn't know how.....I wanted to, Kurt. I really did. I just didn't know how to start. I swear, I'm not trying to keep things from you. It's just......I didn't know how many secrets I have – it's like they're all shoved in this box in my head, and I have no idea how many are still in there, because they're not all mine. And I don't know you don't know them yet. And I don't know they're still in there until something comes up. But I promise, Kurt. I want to tell them all to you. I promise I will.”

“I know, baby, I know.”

“So, I think the secret box is still open, what else do you want to know?”

Blaine watches as Kurt tilts his head, considering. God, he's so beautiful. He's thinking of something mischievous, by the glint in his eye and the shift of his eyes.

“Hmmmm.....Tell me about the 5 minutes right before you first kissed me.”

Blaine lets out a gust of breath. “Well, I'd just gotten out of History – and Nick had been teasing me because I was completely not paying any attention to anything. I knocked over my chair when I stood up when class was over. I just kept thinking I just wanted to see you. I wasn't sure where you were, but I just wanted to see you. Maybe talk to you. Probably kiss you. But I had to see you.”

Kurt leans forward, his chin resting in his hand, and for a minute, it's like they're sitting across the table from each other, not hundreds of miles apart.

“And then you were so preoccupied with the beading that you didn't hear me, and I just stopped to watch you for a minute. And then I had to say something before I lost my nerve. So, I just kind of babbled for a minute, and you were sitting there looking so gorgeous and just....just kissable. And I just said “Anderson, just do it. So I did ”

Kurt smiles at him, juts his chin upward just slightly and preens. “And the last 10 seconds right before you kissed me?”

Blaine laughs, “They went from being somewhat logical to completely not making very much sense. Just do it Anderson just do it he's right there and he's all you've ever wanted and just do it and his lips look so soft and please god don't let him have changed his mind and there you are Kurt there you are and your lips are so soft and oh god you're kissing me back oh god oh god oh god...”

“I love you so much, baby."
"I love you, too."