Every Kind of Silence
theslytheringleek
Chapter 4: Patterns Previous Chapter Next Chapter Story
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Every Kind of Silence : Chapter 4: Patterns


M - Words: 2,415 - Last Updated: Jan 11, 2013
Story: Complete - Chapters: 13/13 - Created: Sep 05, 2012 - Updated: Jan 11, 2013
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Author's Notes: Hello there! Just have to say, Glee spoilers are killing me. Honestly. It's going to be slow, painful, and utterly inevitable death as episode 4 approaches.

Kurt wakes up in his bed the next morning after a mostly sleepless night. The alarm clock rings sharply and Kurt silences it with a swift fist. He remembers stumbling away from Blaine down to his bed and then crying himself to sleep.

What is happening?

He rises slowly, pulling his feet to the ground and stands up. He sways on his feet and stumbles into the shower. The hot water streams down his pale skin, catching in his lashes and making him blink. He digs the heels of his hands into his eyes and stands, trying to breathe. Oh god Oh god Blaine is being abused and bullied and no one knows and he's probably injured and he could be in the hospital and you didn't know how couldn't you know what's wrong with you. He shakes his head and tilts his head back, letting the water splash against his face and comb through his hair. Feeling unsteady on his feet, he leans against the shower wall, letting the water pound against back, relaxing his body as his mind tenses. Just breathe Kurt. Breathe.

Stepping out of the shower and letting the cold air shock him awake, Kurt quickly gets dressed and drags himself up the stairs where he sees Carole bustling about in the kitchen and Burt grabbing an apple before slipping outside with a quick wave to his son. Blaine is nowhere to be seen and Kurt enters the kitchen.

"Good morning Kurt. I made breakfast!"

Kurt can't help but smile weakly at her cheeriness. "Good morning Carole. Where's Blaine?"

"He's taking a shower and getting dressed in our room. I gave him some of your clothes that just came out of the wash. Simple stuff."

"Thank you." He sits down and begins to eat quietly.

Carole frowns down at him. "Kurt, is something wrong?"

Kurt looks down at his plate. He draws in his breath as if he has something to say something but quiets.

"Kurt?"

He clears his throat and asks, "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything dear."

Kurt's eyes flit about the room and he bites his lip before saying slowly, "Would you hurt someone you care about, in order to make them safe?"

Carole looks at Kurt steadily for a moment and forms her words carefully, "The safety of the people I care about is always my priority." 

Kurt nods slowly, looking down at his food intently but before Carole can pursue the thought, Blaine stumbles in, freshly showered and dressed, but still rubbing sleep from his eyes. Damnit how is he so beautiful and adorable? How could someone hurt him? Kurt thinks tiredly.

 "Good morning!" Blaine chirps cheerfully with a smile, his regular albeit sleepy self. Once his eyes land on Kurt and he sees how tired he looks, he visibly wilts.

Carole looks between the two confused but decides not to interfere. For now. "Good morning Blaine. Eat some breakfast and then you best be off. What about you Kurt?"

"I'm going to drive him there." He replies swiftly, and Blaine glances up at him and bites his lip.

The two eat quickly and then go down to Kurt's room to brush their teeth. After they do that Kurt pulls out a digital camera and stands in front of Blaine, who looks at him questioningly.

"Take off your shirt." Kurt orders, voice steady. But the hands that hold the camera tremble.

"Kurt..."

"Please Blaine. Once we get home we're going to ice those bruises and check them out to make sure there's nothing serious. So, I need pictures of them while they're still fresh. Please don't make this harder than it already is for me."

Blaine looks down guiltily and Kurt sees his eyes shining. "I... Kurt it's nothing serious please, it's okay..."

"No it's not. It's not okay." Kurt says firmly. "I need these pictures just for the future. Blaine, I need you to trust me." Kurt continues softly, "Remember how you used to trust me?"

"I still do."

Kurt smiles sadly, "No you don't."

Blaine looks down at his feet.

Clearing his throat, Kurt asks again, voice shaking. "Blaine. Please." 

After a quiet moment, Blaine nods and then pulls off his cardigan and shirt, leaving himself in his white tank.

"That too Blaine."

Once it flutters to the floor, Kurt watches as Blaine instinctively moves to cover himself with his arms, but then drops his hands to his sides, looking up at the ceiling instead. Taking a deep breath, Kurt moves closer, biting his lip till he can taste blood as he snaps pictures of severe bruising, the scarring, and the raw, ravaged skin, the whole time muttering "I'm sorry, I am so, so sorry, just a couple more. I'm so sorry."

After a minute, Kurt whispers, not trusting his voice, "I'm done."

Blaine hurriedly gets dressed and walks over to where Kurt still stands frozen, eyes closed. He moves his hand hesitantly move to brush away his tears, but withdraws it nervously as Kurt opens his eyes. As if touching Kurt would break down the wall they built between each other that keeps all the emotions from flooding out.  "No, I'm sorry," Blaine says softly. "I am so, so sorry."

Kurt swallows, "For what?"

"Making you cry."

Not the answer Kurt wanted.

The two stand in silence, but do not touch.

"I'm going to be late," Blaine says, voice quiet and withdrawn.

It hurts to see him like this but Kurt nods and then the two run upstairs and slide into the car. Once they pull into the parking lot of the school, Blaine reaches to open the door but Kurt locks it.

Blaine turns to look at him. "Kurt?"

Staring at the steering wheel, Kurt replies, "Blaine, I am not going to let you go back into that goddamned school until you tell me what has happened to you."

"I'm going to be late..."

"No you are not. You have a free period in the morning." Kurt says crisply, his voice trembling with withheld rage as he finally snaps, the wall between them finally crumbling, "I just... Who did this to you? Why do you want to hide this from me? Why didn't you tell me? Do you not trust me? What did I do to make you not want to talk to me? Why did you lie to me? Just-"

"Stop it!" Blaine's voice cracks as he begs softly, "Just stop it."

"Then why don't you just tell me?" Kurt pleads, "Blaine I'm not stupid. I know where that scarring comes from. I just don't understand..."

"And you think I do? I have no idea why they hate me but they just do and there's nothing I can do about it."

Kurt throws up his hands, "I can't believe you're thinking like this. Blaine, there's a difference between hating you and then beating you!"

"I know! Stop treating me like a child!" Blaine says, raising his voice.

"Then stop acting like one and tell me what's going on!" Kurt shouts back.

Blaine runs his fingers over his gelled curls and stares out the window at the school. "Fine. Just some new kids came and changed McKinley. Made life a living hell. There's bullying and slushies and being shoved into lockers and being tripped and I can't do a thing because I'll be suspended if I get into another fight and that'll go on my record so no college in New York will accept me and I can't go to live with you. And I have to stay after school and I don't sleep because my parents fight all the time and I can't tell them because they'll just blame each other," he says quickly, tripping over his own words, eyes avoiding Kurt's.

Kurt stares at his boyfriend in shock. "And you decided that I didn't have to know this?"

"Look Kurt. There's nothing that can be done. Get over it," Blaine says tiredly.

"Get over it!? Blaine, you could've been put in a hospital and you want me to get over it?" Kurt's voice is shrill as it rises. "Forget about me, how can you think so low of yourself that you allow this to happen? How can I be with someone who thinks so little of themselves?"

"No one's forcing you to be!" Blaine shouts.

Both of them quiet and pull back from each other as if burned. Kurt hastily wipes away his tears, studying his reflection in the mirror. Both breathe and then Blaine says quietly. "I have to go."

Kurt clears his throat and sighs tiredly. "I don't care what you say, I can't let you go with those Neanderthals. I'll go with you..."

"No. Kurt please. You'll only make it worse."

A second passes but then Kurt wordlessly unlocks the door and Blaine pauses, opening his mouth to say something, but leaves, shutting the door behind him. Kurt watches him disappear within the doors, and whips out his phone. No way is he going to leave Blaine alone, regardless of what he said, and with a face set with determination sends a message to Tina. She could take care of him until Glee, because now there's something Kurt has to do.

He's going to make this right.

He has to.

With one last lingering look at the school, Kurt pulls out of the parking lot and drives home. He swings the door open and rushes inside. The house is quiet, with his father and stepmother at work and Finn still asleep. It takes all of Kurt's will to think clearly, and not just rush back to McKinley and destroying everybody in his path. But he remains focused, mouth set in a tight line.

He has to keep Blaine safe.

He has to make this right.

After quietly slipping to Finn's room to set his alarm clock and leave a note, Kurt springs into action. Phone calls to the returning Glee club members and Mr. Schue. Ordering pizza and assigning someone to pick it up. He works nonstop, but it's taking too long and soon he only has one hour left.  Finn has woken up and gone to the market to pick up a couple of last minute items, with a promise to get to school early to help set up.

Finally, with everything set into place. Kurt runs to his computer and transfers the photos from his camera and prints them out. The printer's sharp sounds, inking onto the plain white paper the truth that Kurt wishes he couldn't believe, stab into Kurt's heart with swift and shallow cuts. The person in the photos is a stranger. It can't be his adorable, lovable, hyperactive boyfriend. It can't be that boy laughing on his desktop background. It can't be that boy who serenades him in crowded courtyards and snowy Christmas nights.

It can't be his Blaine.

 But it is, and with a face set in a grim mask he slides the photos into a file and runs out the door and drives a little too quickly to the school and with a deep breath, Kurt steps inside the familiar doors of McKinley High School.

-

-


-

-

Punch.

Breath.

Punch. Punch.

Breath.

Repeat.


There's something about patterns that sets Blaine's at ease. Whether it's a synchronized Warbler step or a dance routine.  He can channel emotions and frustrations. In patterns Blaine's mind can be put to rest, all bothersome little nags and worries put away as he focuses on continuing the pattern.


Punch.

Breath.

Punch. Punch.

Breath.

Repeat.


"I thought I'd find you here."


Punch.

Breath.

Punch. Punch.

Breath.

Repeat.


Tina moves closer and hovers behind him hesitantly, but Blaine simply continues his pattern.

"Are you allowed to be in here?" he finally asks, eyes still focused on the steady thumps of his fists against the worn red bag.

"Probably not. But no one comes in here during classes, except you when you have a free period. Which you have Tuesday mornings."

"Didn't know I was so predictable."

Tina chuckles, "After spending almost a year with someone, you tend to find out where they go when something's on their mind."

Blaine falters for a second but then shakes his head quickly and resumes his pattern. 


Punch.

Breath.

Punch. Punch.

Breath.

Repeat.


"Blaine."


Punch.

Breath.

Punch. Punch.

Breath.

Repeat.


"Please."


Blaine stops and turns to face the girl, who looks at him concerned. He sighs and begins unstrapping his gloves. "Kurt talked to you." he says curtly.

"Through a strongly worded text message yes." Tina nods. "He's not happy."

Blaine looks down and collapses on a bench with a sigh. Tina slides in after him. He can hear her inhale sharply as she sees the bruises from underneath his tank, staining his skin. He's too tired to hide them anymore. It's silent for a moment as Tina studies the marks on his skin, eyes shining.

"I never knew it was this bad."

Blaine puts his head in his hands. The gel has mixed with sweat and it's sticky. He smoothes his hands over his head and wipes the residue on his tank.

"Why didn't you tell anyone? Why didn't you tell me?" Tina says softly. "I could've stayed after school with you-"

Blaine sighs inwardly, why do people care so much about my life? He shakes his head. "So more than one Glee club member looks like a rotten fruit? What good could've it done?"

 "I don't know."

The two sit in silence once again. It's hard to create and form words. They just don't happen. There's barely anything to say. So Tina backtracks.

"You should have told somebody," she says at last.

"Oh not you too."

"Blaine, he has a right to be worried.  Everyone does. You could've gotten seriously hurt."

Blaine stands and stalks away, throwing his hands in the air with an exasperated sigh. "I could've gotten seriously hurt at my old public school. No one cared then. No one could do anything then. And in the end when I finally stood up to them and ignored what they thought I got the crap beat out of me. In the end I still had to run. No, not this time. I'm not going to do the same thing. It's better to just lie low. I will not run away this time."

"And so you won't fight either?"

"I can't! I'm sick and tired of fighting this thing. It's not working. It didn't work then, what makes this time any different?"

Tina stands. "You know what Blaine, I'm not going to argue with you about this. Maybe Kurt will help you see sense. Anyways, I just came to tell you to meet at the choir room at lunch."

Blaine looks at her wearily, "Why?"

"I don't know. That's just what Mr. Schue told me." She turns and walks to the door and then pauses, "Oh and Blaine? I know it doesn't seem like it now, but here isn't like your old public school." she says softly.

"Oh yeah? In what way?" Blaine challenges.

"Here you're not alone." And with that she exits, clicking the door shut behind her, leaving Blaine standing resigned, arms hanging slack at his sides. Pattern forgotten. 

 

End Notes: TBCAHHH I'm so excited for the next chapter like I'm going to frustrate you all and it's going to be glorious (oh am I trolling? Forgive me, I'm attempting to mimic Steven Moffat). I'm also ridiculously excited for the next Glee episode (KLAINE SKYPE CALL if I'm keeping track of the spoilers correctly. CAN'T WAIT!)Alright, so Ishy was back after her hell week and was able to edit this chapter. So thank you to her. And even more "thank yous" to all of you reading! Whether you follow, favorite, review, or simply read, I'm extremely grateful to you all! Thank you so very much!As always, I love to hear what you guys think. Feedback is so helpful and motivational so if you can, it'd be awesome if you'd review. Reviews are oxygen. Much gratitude and many hugs!

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