Kurt walked towards the kitchen without turning on any lights. Blaine closed the door and followed closely behind.

“Water?” Kurt was standing in the glow of the refrigerator light, hair mussed, a blush on his cheeks.

“Mmhmm.”

Kurt poured two glasses of water, handing one to Blaine and leaning against the counter. Blaine set his glass down and gripped the counter, one hand on either side of Kurt's hips. It was dark in the kitchen, but they could see each other. Kurt could feel him, his body hyper aware of every shift in Blaine's movements.

“You're mad.” Blaine's face was angled up, his eyelashes casting a small shadow on his brow.

Kurt raised his glass between them, watching Blaine over the rim and swallowing slowly. He held the glass at his chin and replied, “I'm not mad. I'm…

Blaine moved closer, pressing.

…I'm not sure what you're doing here all sexy and in my kitchen in the middle of the night. Shouldn't you be out with your girlfriend?” Kurt regretted the edge in his voice but made no effort to soften it.

“I don't have a girlfriend.”

“You don't? So that lovely young woman wiggling in your lap tonight, that was your sister?”

“Kurt-”

“It's fine, Blaine, really. It's not like we're boyfriends.” Kurt gingerly placed his glass on the counter behind him and crossed his arms. “I mean, how could we be? You aren't gay.”

Blaine's lips twitched, his triangular eyebrows flattening out into straight lines.

“It's late,” Kurt said, making a move to leave the kitchen. Blaine kept his hands on the counter, holding Kurt to his spot. 

“I'm not going to say I'm sorry for what you saw, Kurt, because I didnt do anything wrong. Even if I did, those girls meant nothing to me. There's always girls around at shows, that's the deal.”

“You seemed pretty cozy.”

“You of all people should understand. Being appealing to women is my persona as an artist. It's my job. I'm supposed to be this sex symbol guy, supposed to always have girls around. Sugar, my manager, brought those girls to the show, I didn't even know them.”

Kurt wanted to stay strong, wanted to say no. “And then you came here because…”

“I shouldn't be here, I know. I know I can't do this, shouldn't do this. I've worked so hard to get where I am but…”

“But?”

“I need you, Kurt. And I know it's too soon to say that. I know I don't have my shit figured out and, fuck, maybe I never will. But I need you.”

Kurt pulled his arms tighter around himself. “I don't want to be your dirty little secret Blaine. I don't want you coming over here in the middle of the night to get whatever it is you want and then pretending to be something you're not the rest of the time. I want to be with someone who wants to be with me. All the time. In all the places.”

“I can be that. Let me try.”

“How? On what terms?”

Blaine stood up straight and scrubbed his hands over his face. He looked at Kurt, his bloodshot eyes searching, shoulders slumped forward making him look small.

“You don't want me,” Blaine said, his voice quiet. It wasn't a question.

The dam inside Kurt, the one he'd carefully built to hold together his sensibilities and priorities and carefully placed rules, the dam that cracked the minute he'd opened the door for Blaine to come inside, that dam broke. 

He reached out and pulled Blaine to him, one arm around Blaine's waist and one around his neck. They stood there, foreheads pressed together, their labored breath mingling together in a stuttered rhythm.

“Blaine.” Kurt's voice came out in a whisper. His head was telling him to run, to end it now before it went too far, that this wasn't what he wanted. “The problem isn't that I don't want you,” Kurt said, running a hand through Blaine's thick curls. “The problem is that I want you so much I feel as if my bones will turn to liquid. I want you so much I'm willing to compromise everything I hold dear just to have the chance to touch you. I want you so much I…god, Blaine, I nearly had sex with you before I even knew your name.”

Blaine leaned back to look at Kurt, to see his expression. To watch his mouth as he said the words.

“I want you,” Kurt said, cupping Blaine's face. “I want you.” He kissed the corners of Blaine's mouth. “I want you.” He kissed his stubbled jaw. “I want you.” 

Kurt's lips were on Blaine's, but not in a kiss. He was speaking into him, over and over, telling Blaine what he needed to hear. Saying over and over what he'd known since the first time he laid eyes on him in a crowded bar. Convincing himself that nothing else mattered but this moment. 

“I want you. I want you. I want you.”

“Kurt…” Blaine's lips were on his lips, on his cheeks, on his eyelids, on his neck. “Kurt.”

Kurt took Blaine's hands and wrapped them around his waist, pulling them through the kitchen and down the hall to his bedroom. Once inside the room, Blaine was on him, touching and licking and kissing.

He pushed Kurt down onto the unmade bed and hovered over him, his knees and elbows framing Kurt's body. They looked at each other in the darkness, both knowing exactly what they wanted and both terrified at the thought. 

Blaine sat up, his weight resting on Kurt's thighs, and slowly peeled off his shirt. Kurt didn't know where to look first, overwhelmed by the sight. Blaine was small but solid, defined, his shoulders narrowing down to his small waist. Kurt wanted to tell him he was gorgeous, beautiful, perfect but no words came.

Slowly, Kurt reached out to touch him, running his fingertips over Blaine's collarbone, swirling down and over, his fingers splayed wide, his thumb circling Blaine's nipple. It was a reverent touch, a gift. Blaine's chest rose and fell with quick breaths, his eyes fluttering closed. Kurt traced down, down, down through the small trail of hair leading to the waistband of Blaine's jeans.

They didn't speak, communicating their desire through touches and looks, gasps and smiles. 

Kurt raised up and let Blaine pull off his t-shirt. Blaine's hands on him were trembling and hot and tentative and strong, all at once. The rough callouses on his fingertips from years of playing guitar scratched over Kurt's skin, making him shiver.

Kurt reached and took Blaine's hand, placing a kiss to his palm and placing it over his heart. He then reached up and placed his other hand on Blaine's heart. He wanted Blaine to know that this meant something to him. That he was in this, whatever this was, reason be damned.

Blaine seemed to understand, pausing to take it in, the pounding of his heart thudding against Kurt's palm.

Kurt moved his hand down to Blaine's jeans, keeping eye contact, measuring Blaine's willingness. Blaine leaned back on his hands, pushing his pelvis forward, giving Kurt permission.

Kurt sat up and flipped Blaine over onto his back, smiling at the surprised look on Blaine's face. He kissed him, communicating his request with his lips and his tongue. Blaine sighed into his mouth, relaxing under Kurt, ready.

Kurt kept his eyes on Blaine's while he undressed him, shedding his last layers and dropping them to the floor. Blaine was whining and panting, his thighs tense, his erection fully hard. Kurt rubbed his hands over Blaine's calves and knees and thighs, feeling every line and curve, all while keeping his eyes locked onto Blaine's. He touched Blaine's hard cock, running his fingers over the smooth skin and gripping him tightly in his fist, causing Blaine to close his eyes and break the spell. Kurt kissed him, bringing him back, saying everything and nothing.

Blaine pushed Kurt's arm, motioning for him to lay down on the bed next to him. He pulled off Kurt's yoga pants and boxer briefs, his lips parting as he took in the sight. Kurt had ever been so blatantly stared at, never been so laid bare. He could feel Blaine's gaze on his body, seeping into his skin, leaving a mark.

Kurt reached for Blaine's hand and put it on his hip, an invitation. Blaine  paused, waiting, looking, breathing. Kurt's hard cock was straining up towards Blaine's hand, saying everything Kurt couldn't. You can touch me. I want you to touch me. Please.

Blaine reached out and touched him, a soft touch, an exploration. Kurt moaned, turning his head into a pillow, using every once of strength he could muster to lie still, to let Blaine have this.

Blaine surged forward and kissed him. Their mouths met in a fevered gasp, a needed release from the tension of the moment. Blaine pulled Kurt into him, kissing him and holding him, their cocks brushing against each other causing them both to cry out.

Kurt rolled over onto Blaine, reaching into a drawer in his bedside table and bringing back a small bottle of lube. He rubbed some of the clear liquid onto his fingers and reached for Blaine's cock, holding it together with his own. Blaine growled, a deep guttural moan, as Kurt stroked them together. 

Blaine clawed at Kurt's shoulders, panting through his lips, his eyes closed. The vice around Kurt's heart squeezed tighter. Blaine was so beautiful like this. He didn't think he would ever be able to look away.

He took his hand away, moving over Blaine and letting his hips take over, pressing them closer together with every thrust. They moved together, pushing and thrusting against each other, the movement of their bodies and their quiet moans the only sound in the room.

Kurt could feel himself getting close and wanted to slow down, to savor the moment, to make it last forever. But Blaine held him there, his arms and legs wrapped around Kurt, clinging to him.

Blaine came first, his head thrown back, a cry spilling from his open mouth. Watching him was enough to tip Kurt over the edge, burying his face in Blaine's neck, their sweaty bodies tangled together like twisting vines.

It took Kurt a few moments to come back to himself. He lifted his head to smile up at Blaine only to see Blaine beaming at him, almost glowing. They kissed long and lazy, neither one willing to let the other go.