“What the hell is going on?!” Jeff yelled as he stormed into the room and pulled Jeff away from Kurt. I noticed they were both fully clothed. Kurt’s lips weren’t swollen. He didn’t look shocked. He didn’t looked scared, and since I thought I’d heard him scared in the way he yelled I was confused.
Jeff took a step back from Kurt, whipping his head around to look at Jeff.
“I was looking for Blaine.”
“Why were you looking for him? And what the hell were you doing terrorising his boyfriend?”
“Firstly, it’s none of your business why I was looking for him. Secondly, I was NOT terrorising his boyfriend!”
“Then what was with Kurt yelling out for help?” I asked, instinctively taking a step towards Kurt to put my arm around him.
“He was looking for you, Blaine, and I wouldn’t tell him where you were,” Kurt said without giving Josh a chance to talk.
“Why were you looking for me? Why have you been contacting me? Haven’t you done enough?”
“I needed you... for something...” Josh started to look evasive, as if he were dodging the questions posed to him. He shifted in his spot, refusing to make eye contact.
“You’ll tell us what you wanted right now. That’s the least we deserve after everything you’ve done,” Jeff spoke up from where he stood, blocking the exit.
“FINE! I just... I wanted to... God...”
“Out with it!” Kurt shouted out, surprising me with his harsh tone and his sudden outburst.
“I wanted to apologise, okay?!”
Jeff, Kurt and I just looked at each other in bewilderment and partial disbelief. Josh had caused so much pain and hurt that I couldn’t imagine him genuinely caring nor wanting to apologise.
“Why would you apologise now? What the hell made you come to this decision?”
“My dad died, okay? He died. He was a sour, disgusting man. I hated him. And when he died and I was at his funeral I couldn’t help but think that that’s what I was going to be. I didn’t want to be that person and despite all the shit I’ve put everyone through I think I deserve a second chance.”
“Second chance?! You didn’t just steal a shirt, or accidentally scratch my car!” I couldn’t help myself as I let my anger out through the stream of words that were flowing out of my mouth. “You actually took everything from me. My first experiences. You told me you loved me and even when I knew you didn’t it still hurt to think about how someone could be that... horrible! And then you go and.... graduation day was a nightmare for me. I hated you for it. And I think I still do. But you made me hate myself so much that my life was in ruins. I was utterly miserable until I met Kurt. Do you know what that’s like?”
Josh sighed. “No. I don’t.”
“I think it’s best if you leave,” Kurt stepped in, sensing that I wasn’t up for a fight or a discussion with someone so horrid.
“But I-“
“Go,” Jeff said sternly.
Josh looked at me, though I wasn’t looking at him, and he turned to leave. He moved slowly towards the door, looked over his shoulder and said, “I really am sorry. I don’t know... I don’t know who I am anymore. But I’m not that guy. And I’m sorry.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Just go. Please. And don’t contact me again.”
“...Fine.”
There he was, walking out of my dorm room, and all I felt and thought was just pure confusion. How was somebody supposed to react to any of that?
The room was silent after he’d left and the door had slammed behind him. Jeff had slowly made his way to his bed, where he fell right back with his head in his hands and just sighed. Kurt pushed me towards my bed, where we sat next to each other while my head was on his shoulder. We sat there in silence for half an hour or so before Jeff spoke.
“That was... that was one big lead-up just for that, hey?”
I snorted.
“I know what you mean,” Kurt added, “Couldn’t he have toned it down a little in the beginning? I mean, scary phone calls? Cornering me in your room? All for an apology?”
“Dude,” Jeff said, “That’s a little.... gay.”
We all laughed big, genuine laughs we hadn’t experienced in a long time. We spent the night cracking jokes at Josh’s expense, and as we did I felt a small weight lifting. I knew I’d never forget what had happened in the past, but it was as if I knew that I wouldn’t be in danger anymore. I wouldn’t have to constantly watch out. I could just be me. I could be with Kurt. I could be free.
Jeff decided to stay in Wes’ room that night, where he, Wes, David, Jason and a few other Warblers were planning on a games night on David’s new PlayStation3. That conveniently left Kurt and I in the room by ourselves.
“What are we going to do for dinner, baby?” I asked him, snuggling in closer to feel the warmth of his chest and to smell his usual lavender scent.
“I don’t know... We can’t order in, I know that’s against Dalton’s policy... We could go out?”
“No. Nononononono, I wanna stay right here, you’re warm,” I whined like a child.
Kurt laughed and held me closer. “That’s okay. We can rummage something from your bar fridge, I suppose.”
I snorted, “The only things you’ll find in there are chocolate bars, sodas and --- OH MY GOD!”
I jumped up and practically sprinted to the fridge, hurled the door open and pulled out a container. “I FORGOT THAT JEFF MADE CHICKEN POT PIE FOR ME YESTERDAY!”
Kurt looked amused. “That’s awesome! But... how are we going to heat it? Or eat it, for that matter. You don’t have any cutlery. Or plates.”
An idea popped into my head. “Come on,” I said with a grin, reaching forward to take Kurt’s hand and pull him out of the room with me.
“Blaine!” Kurt voiced his protest as we ran through the hall and out the building. “It’s freaking freezing, what are we doing?”
“Shh! Just follow me!”
I held on tight to Kurt’s hand, pulling and dragging him along with me. We came to the Dalton kitchen and Kurt finally realised what was going on.
“Blaine. We can’t break in. That’s ridiculous!”
“We’re not breaking in! We just... We missed dinner, so why not just heat up our own? They can’t get us in trouble for eating, for goodness’ sake.”
“But-“
“Do you want to eat, or not?” I fixed Kurt with a stare, a flirty, sexy stare. It was a look I knew he couldn’t resist.
“Fine.”
We stole into the kitchen, sneaking past the windows and dodging the security camera in the corner of the room, and made our way to the oven. It was still freezing in the kitchen, just like it was outside, but it didn’t take long for the warmth of the oven to heat our pie and ourselves.
Kurt and I sat on the cold, tile floor right in front of the oven. Hand in hand, we sat there, waiting for our pie to heat up and just talking about everything: from the serious events of the day to what weird thing Finn said during dinner the previous night. When the pie had eventually heated up completely, Kurt reached to the bench behind him and took one plate and two forks.
“Just one plate?” I asked, a little confused.
“We’re sharing,” Kurt said so casually as if it was no big deal at all.
Little did he know how every tiny thing he did still had an effect on me, even after almost a month and a half of dating. The smallest touch, the softest of kisses, the quietest of whispers – they all did something to me. And after the hell that had been the past few weeks, it felt so unbelievably right to be there with Kurt, my boyfriend, in that moment.
I couldn’t help but smile the widest I’d ever smiled as Kurt looked at me, just looking.
“You’re beautiful,” I whispered, my words echoing in the silent kitchen.
“You’re amazing,” Kurt whispered back, staring into my eyes for a moment before carefully moving the pie tray onto the plate and shuffling forward so that our combined laps would make a makeshift table.
We ate together, in silence, content with where we were. Occasionally our forks would meet in the middle, causing us to look at each other and just grin like idiots. It was down to the last bite – just enough for one person.
“Here,” Kurt said, stabbing the crust with his fork and scooping up the filling, “you can have the last bite.”
As I opened my mouth to speak, he shoved the fork into my mouth. I couldn’t believe he was feeding me: it felt like an old, classical romance. I finished eating as quickly as possible knowing that I just needed to feel Kurt’s arms around me. I needed Kurt’s lips on mine.
I carefully took the plate, which thankfully, wasn’t too hot, and placed it on the floor next to us. I leant forward, took Kurt’s hands and didn’t even give him a moment to think. I leant in further, locking his lips with mine. It was an open-mouthed kiss right from the start, but it wasn’t heated or fiery or driven by sexual desire. It was purely love. The glow from the oven shone on Kurt’s face and his beauty overwhelmed me. I loved every single part of him and all I wanted to do was share that love.
We kissed for ages, it seemed, before realising that we were still in the stone-cold kitchen. We hesitantly broke apart, hands still intertwined, before stealthily washing our plate and forks, discarding the pie tray and sneaking out the way we’d come in. We made it back to my dorm room without getting caught, and since it was almost midnight we knew that the Dalton head-of-dorm would be around and locking the doors after curfew, so we’d really sprinted (albeit silently).
Upon arriving back at my room, I locked the door behind us and immediately turned to the heating panel. I turned the heating on so that we wouldn’t be blue the whole night, and then pulled Kurt in for another kiss.
“Would it be strange if I said that this night was perfect?” Kurt asked me as he stopped for a quick breath.
I thought about it for a moment. “Yes and no. Depends on what aspects of tonight you’re referring to,” I said, teasingly.
“The chicken pot pie, the sneaking around with you... and this. Just being with you,” Kurt said, looking deep into my eyes and leaning forward to sneak a quick, gentle kiss.
“Then no. Tonight... being with you... it’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
We moved to my bed, not bothering to change out of our clothes, and I moved the TV screen so that we could see it clearly from where we were positioned. We watched old romantic movies while snuggled up all cosy and warm, intertwined underneath the covers. We stole kisses at every chance, each one just as gentle and soft as the last, not taking any time to dwell on the less admirable aspects of the evening. All that mattered was that we were together, in the moment. I was there, with my boyfriend – the most beautiful, talented, kind-hearted man in the world – and everything was perfect. Nothing could hurt me at all anymore.
Nothing at all.