"You did what?" I asked my roommate Rachel as calmly as I could.

"I found us another roommate." She repeated more slowly this time.

"Why would you do that Rachel?"

"We need help with the rent Kurt."

"I know but asking a total stranger to move in with us? I haven't even met this guy!"

"He's charming."

"Charming? He's charming? You know who else is charming Rachel?"

She shook her head.

"Serial killers Rachel!" I shrieked.

"He's not a serial killer. I asked."

"You....I....god Rachel I can't believe you did this!"

"He's not a total stranger he and his band perform at the restaurant all the time!"

"His band?"

"Yeah, the Warblers."

"That boy band cover band?"

She nodded.

"Oh God! So he's a serial killer and a douche!"

"Kurt! Be nice, he is in the other room."

"He's here!?!"

"Well yeah, he agreed to move in right away."

"Please tell me that he at least has a proper job." I said rubbing my forehead.

"Yeah, he's the bartender at Scandals."

"That seedy dive bar downtown?"

"Yes."

"You'd better hope he kills you first or I am so going to haunt you!"

"Calm down princess I'm not going to murder anyone, scout's honor." He said entering the kitchen. "Oh, you're a guy."

I glared at him, hoping his head would explode.

"Yes I'm a guy, are you? Sorry I can't tell with all that eyeliner."

"You're feisty. I like it."

"Fantastic. My life is now complete." I said sarcastically.

He winked at me, the fucker winked at me. I'm pretty sure he got the sarcasm but decided to screw with me by winking at me.

"You'd better not be bringing random girls here every night." I said pointing at him.

"Don't worry pussy isn't my thing. I'm a cock man."

I blinked.

"You know having a cock in my ass, putting my cock in the ass of a hot guy. Oh! Or being in the middle of a Blaine sandwich, so my cock is in a guy's ass while another guy's cock is in mine. That's a lot of fun. Although sometimes I like to have two cocks in my ass at once, have you ever tried that princess?"

"You are disgusting." I told him plainly.

"Oh come on princess, get that stick out of your ass and replace it with a cock. It's a lot more fun I assure you."

"Rachel!"

"Oh he's just teasing you Kurt."

"You have a fucked up idea of charming, you know that?" I told her storming out of the room.

"I want him out Rachel." I told her when she followed me to my room.

"The thing is we signed a tenant agreement, I can't legally kick him out."

"How could you do this without asking me?"

"I'm sorry Kurt but we needed to find someone fast. The landlord told me they were going to raise the rent and we were barely making it before."

"He can't just do that, he has to give us notice."

"The thing is he did but I didn't want you to worry so I was trying to find a solution."

"Next time talk to me about this sort of thing ok?"

"Ok. I promise you Kurt Blaine isn't that bad of a guy he's just being an ass. I think you make him nervous or something."

"Honey I think the only thing that makes him nervous is the wait for STD results."

"At least he's hot." She shrugged.

"Don't let him hear you say that. I don't think his ego needs the boost."

"Just try and get along with him ok?"

"Me try? Tell him to try; he's the one that started graphically describing his slutty ways to me!"

"I know but come on he can't be any worse than when Santana lived here."

"Want to bet?"

"Just give him a chance, please? It's important to me." She pleaded.

"Fine. I don't understand why but I'll give him a chance for you."

"Thank you."

Not long after my talk with Rachel I went to the kitchen to make dinner, the last time Rachel attempted to cook she nearly burnt the place down and I would bet money on the new guy not being able to cook so I figured either I do it or we'd all starve. I bent down to grab a few items of the bottom shelf of the fridge when I heard someone come into the kitchen. I thought nothing of it until I felt a hand on my ass.

"Hmmm...god Princess you have a great ass. I'd bet it'd look so gorgeous with my cock buried deep within it." Blaine whispered into my ear as he pulled me into standing position. I dropped the food I was holding, not caring where it landed and then pried his hands off of me.

"Rachel! I'm going to Adam's!" I yelled

"Who is Adam?" Blaine asked.

"My boyfriend." I told him. A look I couldn't quite place flickered across his face, was it shock that someone would want to date me? Asshole.