Pretty much every decision Blaine ever made he did so with his soul mate in mind, when he bought a new pair of jeans he wondered what his soul mate would think of them, when Rachel was showing him the apartment he wondered if his soul mate would like it, if his soul mate would like her. He applied to NYADA because somehow the pamphlet got mixed up with the rest of the schools he was looking at and he took it as a sign that his soul mate would be there. Besides, he figured, he might enjoy it, yeah ok performing wasn’t what he wanted to do with his life, not really, but he was good at it plus he figured he could go there for a little while meet his soul mate (probably on the first or second day, by the end of the first week for sure) and then they would decide together if Blaine should continue on at NYADA or if he should transfer to another school. The problem was that Blaine had now been attending NYADA for nearly two months and he had yet to meet his soul mate and in fact he was now certain that he wasn’t there. You know how when you walk in your front door and you can just tell no one else is home? That’s the feeling that Blaine got every time stepped foot on the NYADA campus, sure there were lots of people there and Blaine had made a few friends (in fact he liked most of the people he had met there, except that British guy, Blaine irrationally hated him) but really, what did that matter if his soul mate wasn’t there? He decided to keep at it though because while his soul mate wasn’t at NYADA there had to be a reason why fate wanted him to go there, maybe he would have a career in performing after all. That wouldn’t be so bad and if it led him to his soul mate, well that’s all that matters, isn’t it?

He knew other people found his utter devotion to finding his soul mate to be ridiculous, he knew that they knew the best way to get him to do something was to suggest his soul mate would be there but they just didn’t understand. His soul mate was part of him, Blaine needed him to be complete, it was like if you were missing an arm and had the chance to get it back if you could only find it you would do anything you could to find it, wouldn’t you? To Blaine looking for his soul mate was ridiculous it was necessary and the fact he hadn’t found him yet was frustrating. But Blaine wouldn’t give up; he couldn’t give up not when he knew the love of his life was out there somewhere.  

                When he wasn’t at NYADA he wandered around the city, some days he would spend all day riding the subway, others he would spend sitting in various coffee shops or walking up and down Broadway trying to make eye contact with every guy he saw. Hoping with every fibre of his being that today would be the day he’d finally see him but it never was, at the end of every day he was still alone trying really hard to be quiet as he cried himself to sleep so Rachel and Santana wouldn’t hear him and worry.

                “Shh….it’s ok, sweetie, you’ll find him.” Rachel said softly crawling into bed next to Blaine wrapping her arms around him, apparently he hadn’t been quiet enough.

                “When?” He asked desperately.

                “I don’t know. But you will.”

                “I’m just so lonely…I mean I know I have you and San, and you guys are great really...”

                “But we’re not him, I know, I understand.”

                “You really think I’ll find him?”

                “I do, but maybe you need to not hang all your hopes on him.”

                “So you don’t think I’ll find him!” He said sitting up.

                “I just said that I think you will!” Rachel said as she sat up as well.“ The thing is Blaine right now your whole world revolves around finding him, and then when you do it will revolve around him, and that’s just…that’s a lot to put on one person Blaine.”

                “But he’s my soul mate!”

                “I know he is, but he’s also just a person Blaine, he’s not a god, he’s not going to walk into your life and make it magically perfect.”

                “I don’t think he’s a god.”

                “Yes you do, you live your life for him Blaine and I’m sorry but you can’t do that, you can’t base every decision on him.”

                “I don’t!”

                “I’ve been shopping with you Blaine, do you not remember holding two shirts up and asking me which one he’d like better?”

Blaine opened his mouth to protest but knew she was right and closed it again.

                “I know he’s your other half but then thing is you’re his other half to and how the hell are you supposed to complete him when you’re too busy trying to live his life instead of yours?”

                “I am living my life?”

                “Are you? Because I don’t know any other NYADA students who have quite so many medical text books…or any actually.”

                “I’m allowed to have outside interests.”

                “Of course you are! I just want to make sure that you’re happy.”

                “I am happy, or I mean I would be if I knew who my soul mate was.”

                “Alright then, I guess that robe that has Dr. Anderson stitched above the left breast pocket must belong to Santana.”

                “Fine! Maybe NYADA hasn’t always been my dream. Maybe I used to want to be a doctor but that doesn’t matter! All that matters is I fine him!”

                “It does matter! Yes, finding him matters but you matter too! What you want to do matters, have you ever thought that maybe just maybe you haven’t found him because you aren’t ready? I know you are going to say that you are ready but you aren’t Blaine not really, not until you figure out who you are and what you want.”

                “I want him!”

                “But there’s more to life than just him! Have you ever thought what would happen if you found him and then lost him? You’d have nothing! Don’t you get that? Don’t you get that he could die and if you don’t have a life outside of him you won’t survive it? Do you know how hard it is to survive something like that even if you do have a life outside of him? No you don’t!”

                “Rachel?” Blaine asked softly.

                “Just don’t pin all your happiness on him, ok?”

                “Ok.”

                “If you want to go to NYADA then fine but if you want to be a doctor, then Blaine, you should be a doctor.”

                “Are you alright? Do you need to talk?”

Rachel shook her head. “I know you say you miss him but at least you get to know he’s out there somewhere, not all of us are so lucky.”

                “I’m sorry.” Blaine said not sure of what else to say especially since he didn’t even know what was going on.

                “I’m pretty sure I came in here to comfort you.” Rachel said wiping her eyes.

                “You’re right you know, I can’t remember the last time I made a decision without factoring him in.”

                “I think it’s ok to factor him in but you’ve got to remember to factor yourself in too.”

                “Now, serious question time.”

                “Alright.” Rachel said sitting up.

                “Do you think my NYADA courses will transfer over to a pre-med program?” He asked smiling.

                “Somehow I don’t think so.”

                “You don’t think Columbia or NYU cares about Interpretive Dance 101? No?”

                “No, I’m pretty sure they’d be more interested in the History of Ballet.”

                “Damn. I didn’t take that one.” He deadpanned before the both collapsed in a fit of giggles.