May 28, 2013, 11:35 a.m.
I can't remember when the earth turned slowly: Chapter 1
K - Words: 1,066 - Last Updated: May 28, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 7/7 - Created: May 28, 2013 - Updated: May 28, 2013 124 0 0 0 0
"I have to go back out there," Blaine whispered, eyes teary as he looked down at his daughter, sleeping soundly in her crib. "What?" Kurt asked, grabbing Blaine's shoulder, refusing to believe it. "They – they called this morning," Blaine said, not taking his eyes away from the sleeping child, not daring to look at Kurt. "But – I thought you were done. They told us you were done!"
Kurt's voice rose slightly, and Blaine finally turned to him, lifting his finger to his lips. "Kurt, please, keep your voice down," he said, gesturing to the baby in the crib, sleeping soundly. She had no idea what was going on around her. "I – They said they need me for one more mission, then that's it. After that I'm done, I promise."
Kurt looked down at their child. If they had known that Blaine had to go back, would they still have started the adoption process? Kurt didn't know. He couldn't imagine having to raise her on his own, without Blaine there to support him. "How long?" he whispered, so quietly that Blaine had trouble making out the words. "What was that?" he asked, and Kurt cleared his throat, looked to his fiancé and repeated the words, louder this time.
"8 months, I think," he said, and Kurt nodded. That wasn't too bad. He had once been overseas for 12. That had been torture. Not that 8 months wasn't going to be hard too. It was. It was going to be terrifying, being without Blaine, while their daughter grew without him there to see it. But Kurt knew there was nothing to be done.
"I'm leaving on Saturday." Kurt nodded again. The first time Blaine had been shipped out, Kurt had been shocked to find out that Blaine had to leave so soon. But after three times, with the same procedure, it didn't hurt as bad anymore. Well, it did, but Kurt had learned to hide it. He had learned not to show his pain until after Blaine had left. Of course they talked about it. They always did.
They spent the last day before Blaine's flight talking. They would wake up, eat breakfast together, and then, just talk, all day. And as the end of the day drew nearer, they would go into the bathroom together, where together, they would shave away all of Blaine's hair. Kurt always hated seeing Blaine's beautiful curls go.
When Blaine had signed up for service after finishing college, he had told Kurt that he wanted to help people. And that hadn't changed one bit. Kurt knew how Blaine was; always selfless, always helping others before focusing on his own problems.
And Kurt was proud of him, so incredibly proud, but that didn't mean he didn't want to be selfish. He wanted nothing more than to lock the front door and swallow the key, sealing them inside forever. He didn't want to let Blaine go, but he knew that he had to. That didn't make it any easier.
When they were woken up that night, by Claire's crying, Blaine offered to check on her. As Kurt lay in bed, waiting for Blaine to return, he could hear his soft voice from the other side of the hallway. He was singing to her, softly. Kurt wondered idly when he would hear that voice again. Or if this would be one of the last times he ever heard it.
He pretended to be asleep when Blaine tiptoed back in a few minutes later. He felt the bed dip as Blaine sat down on the edge, and as he lay down, pulling the covers back over himself. Kurt didn't know how long it took before sleep engulfed him once more, but when he woke up the next morning, he had no memory of falling asleep.
Blaine was still sleeping, so he slipped out of bed, careful not to wake him, and went quietly into Claire's room. He had expected to find her sleeping, but when he entered it was to find her big blue eyes staring at him.
"Hey, baby girl," he cooed, moving closer to her crib to pick her up. "Been awake long?" he asked, though he knew she couldn't answer him. He rocked her gently, looking into her eyes as he talked in a calm and soothing voice to the little girl, barely one year old. "Papa's going away for a while, but he'll come back to us. He always does."
Kurt startles as strong hands wrap around him from the back. "Blaine, you scared me," he said, smiling over his shoulder as he secured his grip around the little girl.
"I'm sorry," Blaine mumbled into his neck. "I woke up, and you weren't there, so I figured you'd be in here," he said, pausing for a second before continuing. "And then I heard you talking..."
Kurt smiled sadly. "I'm gonna miss you so much," he said, turning around to face him. "I'm gonna miss you too. Both of you," Blaine said, gazing at their daughter.
When Kurt and Blaine had started the adoption process three years earlier, they had believed that Blaine was finished. That his time in the army was over. And when they had held their beautiful baby girl in their arms for the first time, neither one of them thought that this would ever be an issue again.
Because it shouldn't have been.
"I'm gonna miss her first steps," Blaine said sadly as he and Kurt prepared breakfast. Kurt nodded. "I'll film it," he promised. Blaine smiled. "Papa," Claire said, catching their attention. "What is it honey?" Blaine asked, kneeling down so he was eye to eye with her chair. Once she had his attention, she reached out one hand and stroked her hand clumsily down the side of his face, giggling softly.
Blaine smiled, catching her tiny hand in his big one. He was savoring the moment, because he knew he probably wouldn't have anything like it for a while.
Blaine left that Saturday, just as he said, head freshly shaven and eyes shining with tears as he said goodbye to his fiancé and his daughter. Kurt was crying silently as he watched Blaine board the plane. Claire was waving.