Blaine knew he had screwed up big time as fast as the words came out of his mouth.

Really, what was his problem? Moping around for days 'cause what they had wouldn't ever be more than a silly bet and that Kurt wouldn't ever love him and then, when said guy practically yelled in his face that they were something, he yelled back that they were just fucking.

He was an idiot.

He knew he was an idiot; the school knew he was an idiot; his parents knew he was an idiot; and, more important, Kurt knew he was an idiot.

Blaine felt like, somehow, he always managed to destroy everything that he liked or wanted.

His parents loved and cared about him until they found out he was gay. Well, not that that was his fault actually, he wasn't able to change or hide who hewas. But, being honest, he still blamed himself for making his parents hate him.

He decided to leave Dalton even when his parents' money could still pay for it. Even when it was full of preppy brat guys, that school was like his safe haven for Blaine. He didn't have to act all tough and dangerous to keep the jocks away from him. And he could be himself without having to worry about anyone judging him; he could sing or dance, be a straight A student and what he liked the most, he could be openly gay and no one would look at him differently.

And then he sort of lose Kurt. If he ever had him to start with.

But he could fix it. Couldn't he?

He just had to go back to taking care of Kurt and being all sweet and slow. Kurt seemed to like it when he touched him softly and took his time worshipping every inch of his body. And it wasn't like it would be something difficult for him. He loved every part of his lover's body.

When he came back from the kitchen Kurt was rolled back facing the opposite side of Blaine and his deep breathing told him that he was fast asleep. He sat by his side, with his back on the headboard, his legs in front of him and his hands in between them. Blaine wanted to take a look at his Angel's face, but he had covered himself with the sheets from head to toes; the only thing he could see were a few chestnut locks that escaped from behind the cloth.

He realized that Kurt was awake when one of the deep breaths he was taking came out shaky, as if he was still crying. Being as careful as he could, he slid the sheet from his lover's body until it was resting on the slim waist and he was able to take a look at Kurt's face. The guy had hidden part of his face in the pillow, and his eyes were closed so damn hard, just like his hand gripping the pillowcase.

Blaine couldn't decide what to do. If Kurt had hid himself under the covers and then hid his face on the pillow when he took the sheets away, it meant that he didn't want to talk or be disturbed. So he should just walk out the door and wait for his Angel on the kitchen or watch a movie on the couch. Sooner or later Kurt would have to leave the bed.

But when he was about to leave the bed, he heard another little sob; so he couldn't help but lay beside him with his chest glued to Kurt's back , an arm around the small waist and his hand cupping the one that was clutching the sheets. Humming an old song his mom used to sing to him when he was little and kissing his lover's temple every minute, Blaine fell asleep holding the most important thing in the world for him for the first time.

Friday night found Kurt and Blaine seated together on the couch watching The Avengers movie after dinning some ordered pizza.

Blaine could feel how Kurt's body tensed more and more as the minutes went by and, when he felt like Kurt was sitting so straight that he might snap, one of his feet started tapping on the floor nervously.

He didn't know what had Kurt that nervous. Yeah, they hadn't talked that much since they woke up and the pale boy was acting colder than usual. But the only thing Blaine could think of to get his lover more relaxed was a blowjob.

So, when the movie was in its middle, he knelt in front of his lover and tugged on the yoga pants that Kurt was wearing and threw them on the floor.

"Bl-Blaine, what...?"

Even when Kurt's hand rested on his shoulder to keep him away, Blaine hushed him and leaned forward to give a long and slow lick at his pussy. The hand on his shoulder slid until the fingers were laced in the unruly locks and the other one rested gently on the back of his neck, his fingernails digging into the sensitive skin. Blaine could tell that Kurt wasn't really into in what they were doing, even when the long fingers were tugging hard on his hair and he could hear the soft moans coming from above him.

When he asked the former tutor if he liked what he was doing to him, he waited for Kurt to yell at him to shut up and keep going, but it didn't happen. Instead, the pale guy just mumbled an "uh-huh", without even jerking his hips forward or tugging harder on his curls to get him closer.

Even more frustrated and angry at himself, Blaine kept eating him out until Kurt came with a soft "oh" and let go of his hair, falling boneless on the couch. He sat by his side and brushed a few locks of chestnut hair off of his temple, caressing the soft skin on his way to the back of his ear. He tried to hold Kurt with his arm around his waist when the blue eyed guy tried to get down on his knees toreturn the favorbut, somehow, he managed to kneel in front of him anyway and slide his hands along Blaine's thighs.

"It's okay, I don't really need it"

Kurt gave him an incredulous look, twisting his head to the side. "But, you're hard... really hard." He squeezed the bulge to make a point.

"It's okay, baby. Really. Up you come. C'mere"

Blaine took his angel's hands to help him up but, when he patted his thighs to get Kurt to sit on them, the pale guy raised a hand to make him wait a minute, scanning the room to find his lost clothes.

After his lover stood up to search for his pants and put them on, Blaine opened his arms and waited until Kurt got into them and rested his head on his shoulder, practically seated on his lap but still as tense as before.

He didn't know what to do.

Saturday seemed like the worst day for Blaine.

Yeah they fucked like rabbits the whole day; from Blaine waking up with his dick deep in Kurt's throat, until the pale guy fell asleep on his chest after riding him so that they both exploded in a too-good-for-words orgasm. But after each time that he came, Kurt would shut down and tense up by turning his back to Blaine or disappearing in the bathroom or downstairs.

Blaine could tell that the boy wasn't relaxed even when he was pounding into him so hard that they both weren't able to think. There was always a bit of him that he wasn't sharing with Blaine; and it was making him furious. And he got even angrier when, after each time that they would come, Kurt had something to do or would just fall asleep. If he didn't have to have a shower, he had to call his father or cook something or get something to drink or send a text to his effing grandmother 'cause he wanted to tell her the sky was fucking blue.

Kurt was trying to avoid him as much as he could, and Blaine didn't know what to do to win him over again.

Fucking him like a possessed man didn't work; neither did loving him so tenderly that it took a long time for them to both come. Also, each time that he'd try to talk to his lover, Kurt would shut him up kissing his neck or sneaking his hand on his pants. Kurt was really good at avoiding talking... by making Blaine come time and time again. Blaine felt like he was going to punch himself every time that he realized that he had been tricked into fucking again and hadn't talked with Kurt yet.

He was so fucking weak when it came to feel of the soft fingers on his skin.

Blaine wasn't strong enough to stop Kurt when the pale boy would start touching him or whispering on his ear what exactly he wanted Blaine to do to him. He wasn't strong enough to keep asking what was wrong or had happened when Kurt would tell him that he didn't feel like talking. He wasn't strong enough to tell him that he was sorry, even when he knew that that might help his cause.

If he'd thought Saturday was the worst day, Sunday came along to win the prize and ruin everything.

Last night he went to sleep deciding to talk with Kurt as soon as they both wake up. But his lover won again. Just like Saturday morning, he woke up with his cock being deep-throated by his beautiful angel. He couldn't do anything but slide his fingers in between the silky locks of chestnut hair and push his head down on his cock, telling him how much he loved to wake up like that and how great his beautiful mouth felt on him. He allowed Kurt to keep sucking him for a few minutes, but then he told him that he would rather to come inside of his pussy than on his mouth. The cheek flushed guy nodded and then straddled his hips to prepare himself for riding him as Blaine rolled down a condom on himself. He loved the moment that always felt eternal when Kurt sank down on his shaft, and he'd feel the warm tightness swallowing him whole and watch his lover's face, full of pleasure. As he thrust, Blaine cupped Kurt's face and dragged him down to kiss his jaw.

"Your pussy was made just for me. Don't you feel it? No one could ever fill you this great, Angel. You were made for me."

And then...

.... Kurt broke.

He just froze, still straddling him, for a few seconds; his eyes wide open with tears forming and his teeth biting his lower lip so hard that it might bleed again. And then he started sobbing desperately and fell on the mattress next to Blaine.

Blaine was shocked; he didn't know what the hell was going on. What had happened to get Kurt like that?

When he tried to wrap his arms around him and soothe his crying, the taller guy pushed him away and screamed not to touch him.

"Kurt, Angel, at least tell me what's going on? I want to help you. Why are you crying, babe? Did I do something wrong?"

Blaine didn't know what to say, do, or where to put his hands. He didn't know if Kurt would push him away again if he tried to caress his back or pet his hair. So he settled for placing a hand on his Angel's shoulder; which ended up being the worst decision. No, Kurt didn't push him away or scream at him to leave him alone or fuck off. He just sobbed harder, clutching a pillow so close to his chest that it seemed like he was trying to get it inside of him.

"Baby... Baby, tell me what can I do! I just don't know what's happening; what can I do to make it better. Whatever you want, whatever you need; tell me and I'll give it to you. Even if you want me to leave. Do you want that?" He asked with a pained expression as he stood up from the bed. "Are you angry at me?"

He sighed in relief when Kurt shook his head.

"I-I..." hiccupped "I c-can't do this anym-more, Bl-Blaine," the tear stained boy muttered sitting back on the bed and wiping the wetness off his face with the back of his hands; eyes still fixed on the mess of sheets on the mattress, refusing to meet Blaine's.

"You can't what, baby? Tell me what's wrong, please,"

He knew he must have been repeating the same thing over and over again and that he must look desperate with pleading eyes and shaking hands, but he was. He desperately wanted to know what the hell was going on with his Angel. What did "I can't do this anymore" mean? Did it mean that he was hurting him? That he felt disgusted by Blaine and he didn't wanted to see him anymore? Did it mean that he was sore?What the hell did that mean?!

"I c-can't contin-nue with the bet. I can't. I... If you w-want me, I can clean yo-your houssse or something like that," he took a deep breath trying to calm the hiccups, "but I can't keep d-doing... uhm, sex stuff"

Blaine grabbed his lover –ex-lover's?– hand when he saw him trying to stand up, probably for leave the house. Leavehim.

"Wait, Angel. Please don't go." He sat in front of him, ignoring the nakedness, both with crossed legs. "You can't just say that and leave. Tell me what's wrong. What did I do? Did I push you too far? Did I make you do things that you didn't want to? I-I don't understand" He ran the fingers of his free hand through his unruly curls. "Did... Was it that you weren't ready for having sex? Oh god. I raped you, didn't I? I..."

"No! No, no. Stop, Blaine. You didn't rape me or p-push me too far. I was o-okay with what we were doing. More than okay. Believe me." He squeezed his hand with pleading still puffy eyes. "But, I just can't anymore"

"Then tell me what's wrong, Angel! Talk to me. Tell me, so I can fix it."

Blaine saw how the pale guy closed himself off for a few seconds, his hand freeing itself from his and his eyebrows furrowed into a frown.

"W-why do you care? I'm pretty sure you can find another thousand guys or girls who'd love to beg you to fuck them."

He couldn't actually believe what Kurt was telling him. Why the hell would he care about other people when he had his own beloved wingless angel?

He wanted to know what he did wrong. Sex be damned, even sex with Kurt; but he didn't want his Angel to leave him... never.

"I don't a shit about anyone else, don't you see? And... of course I fucking care, Angel. You fucking freaked out and started crying while riding me. You wouldn't let me hold you or tell me what's wrong. I'm freaking out and you ask me why the hell I care?"

That seemed to make his Angel snap. The usually pale face was flushed red and his jaw was clenched.

"You are the one who always tells me that we're just fucking and shut me out when I want to fix things" Kurt snapped "Youalwaysshut me out. You won't tell me anything about yourself or let me tell you anything about me. You just wanted to fuck me. So why do you act like you care now? I know you don't."

"Then you don't fucking know me at all!" Blaine stood up, his hands still running through his hair, pushing it from time to time.

"How the hell do you expect me to know you, when you won't talk to me."

Blaine was actually considering ripping off his hair and start screaming like a mad guy. Now they seemed and old married couple arguing... A naked old married couple.

"Don't throw it all on me! You won't talk to me either. I recall at least twenty times in the past few days that I asked you to talk and you distracted me with sex."

Blaine watched the beautiful angel stood up from the bed and put some pants on. He decided to do the same, and started picking up some clothes after he knotted the end of the condom and threw it on the garbage can.

He felt kind of vulnerable being naked when Kurt had some clothes on him.

It was the first time that he cared about being naked in front of someone. It was also the first time that he was trying to fight for something or someone he cared about to stay in his life.

He'd had so many things slip away from between his fingers. But he wouldn't let Kurt go too.

"Because I got tired of being shut down every effing time that I'd tried to talk about us and, besides all you asked me about was what had happened with Karofsky the..." He stopped abruptly and looked at him with scared huge eyes.

Blaine felt lava running through his veins from head to toes; where he felt that he was going to shoot daggers from his eyes. His cheeks were scalding with fury and his hands were fisted really tight.

"It washim!" He spat. "It was him and you didn't even fucking tell me! I let you walk on your own around at school the whole day whenthat psychowas there too, Kurt! I thought he had left you alone. What the hell did he do to you?!"

Kurt was still looking at him with frightened doe eyes, the tears were starting to roll down on his cheeks again. So Blaine tried to relax a bit, but every time he thought about that fucking idiot around his Angel he wanted to destroy something. Instead he settled for running his hands through his hair.

"I-I... I need to go. I can't" He sobbed.

Blaine took a deep breath. He knew he must be the one who looked like a psycho there; all flushed and irate, his breath heavy. He must look like a bull and he was clearly frighteninghisKurt.

He let go of his hair and rolled his shoulders to relieve some tension.

"No, Kurt. Angel, wait. Please, wait. I-I went crazy, and I'm sorry. I'll behave. I promise you I will. You're... You're not afraid of me, are you? You know I wouldn't ever even consider hurting you. You know that, don't you?" He held his breath; he had never felt so insecure about something in his life. Then he let it all out when he saw his Angel give him a little shy nod. "Kurt..."

"I have to go, Blaine. I s-s-swear we will talk. But not now. I can't now."

Blaine sat on the edge of the bed with his elbows resting on his knees and his fingers tugging at the hair of the back of his neck. His eyes tightly closed as he kept thinking that, whatever it was, it wasn't actually happening. That he was dreaming and he was going to wake up any minute with Kurt kissing on his neck or making some pancakes in the kitchen while he hummed dreamily.

Kurt couldn't just tell him that, he thought as he heard Kurt picking up his stuff from Blaine's room and the bathroom.

He really was going to rip out his hair while trying to understand what the hell was happening.

First, Kurt freaked out while they were fucking and sort of broke up with him without a real explanation; then, he admitted, almost accidently, that something bad had happened between him and Karofsky a few days ago and that was why he was acting odd and flinched every time Blaine tried to touch him. But then again, he wouldn't explain what the hell had happened.

Blaine wanted to scream, to punch a wall or his boxing bag. Rip something up. Take his anger and confusion, as well as his frustration, out in the most aggressive way possible; without hurting anyone, of course.

But mostly, he really wanted to cry.

He was feeling more impotent than ever before.

And then he remembered something, and waited until Kurt was back in the room to talk again.

"Youcan'tgo," he whispered, the words almost choked by the knot in his throat.

He heard the tired sigh Kurt let out; a sigh that reminded him of his mother when she was tired of trying to reasoning with him or he was acting like little bratty kid.

"Blaine, please!" Kurt sobbed. "I really need to go. I'm not happy going and l-leaving you like this either. But you can't act all childish and be all 'you can't go, 'cause I say so.'"

Blaine wanted to cross his arms along his chest and kick the floor, moping. He wasn't acting like a little kid.

"Ididn'tsay that you couldn't go 'causeI said so. I just simply stated that you can't go." He hated the way that his voice sounded hoarse, like he was crying. But he was proud that he wasn't choking on his own words, stuttering or begging on his knees to get Kurt in his arms again. He was also proud that he could keep a bit of his cocky attitude. "Which is true 'cause I fucking brought you here from school on Friday. Which means, you don't have your car. So, either you let me take you home ... or you'll have to call your father to get him to pick you up. It's up to you, Angel."

He saw Kurt's face fall when he realized that he couldn't just disappear, and then how he struggled to decide what was he going to do.

"I'll send Mercedes a message and see if she can pick me up. Otherwise, I can always take a cab"

"Or, you can put your pride aside, not bother your poor friend who must be enjoying her Sunday, and let me take you home."

He hated how nasal his voice sounded as he was holding back the tears and felt that horrible knot in his throat. He also hated that Kurt hadn't even looked at him. He just kept looking for his things and throwing them inside his backpack.

"Blaine, this has nothing to do with pride. I'm asking you to give me some space, I need it right now. I won't just disappear. Damn, we go to the same school and you know where I live. It's not like I'm changing schools or moving to... San Francisco!

"But, I won't feel comfortable if you drive me home. And getting my dad into this is almost like playing dirty, Anderson." The blue eyes guy tried to laugh, but it sounded so humorless and empty that he dropped it. And besides, it hadn't even made Blaine smile. "I'm... I'll go call Mercedes."

Spread out on his bed like he was making a snow angel, Blaine glared at the ceiling like it was the one who was making these last few days feel like hell. He didn't feel like moving or even thinking. He just kept staring and repeating a single word in his head: Why?

Blaine wanted to run out of the room and hug Kurt close for the rest of his life. But he was going to let the pale guy do what he needed to.

He just kept looking at the ceiling and drumming his fingers nervously on his own thigh until Kurt walked back with his phone in his hand still looking at the screen, barefoot and wearing only his undershirt and his undone jeans.

Blaine groaned loudly. He was doing it on purpose, wasn't he?

"Is something wrong, ba...Blaine?" Kurt asked concerned.

"Besides the obvious?" He retorted, sounding angrier than he intended. "Just put on a shirt, Kurt."

He didn't even have to look at his ex(?)-lover to know he was blushing like mad. He didn't want to be harsh, but Kurt couldn't just tell him that he didn't want to be with him anymore and then walk around like every gay guy's wet dream.

Blaine heard the tall guy mutter something like "Sorry", but he couldn't really tell 'cause he had his back turned to him, throwing a polo shirt over his head.

He had closed his eyes until he had to open them feeling Kurt's presence by his side. And he was right; the pale boy was standing next to the bed, looking down at him and worrying his lower lip in between his teeth.

Still resting on the bed, the bad boy looked up at the pale one with an arched brow for long seconds, but Kurt wouldn't say or do anything; he just kept looking at him.

"Kurt..."

That made the blue eyed guy snap out of his day dreaming or thoughts. "Oh, uhm, Mercedes will be here any minute. I think it's better if I just wait for her outside."

"Oh, I get it," Blaine mumbled as he sat back with his legs hanging on the side of the bed, his face just a few inches away from Kurt's belly.

They both stood there, looking nervously in opposite directions and biting hard on their lips. Blaine wanted a kiss, even if it was their last one.

But he couldn't get the words out of his mouth; he just kept biting harder and harder on his lip.

"So, I guess I'll just go... I-I swear I will talk to you soon, Blaine. Please don't hate me, I just really can't; it's not like I don't want to, I can't do it. I really need time, and then we'll talk. I swear."

Courage.

"Kurt... I-I know you said that you don't want to... do whatever you can't do with me. But I was wandering if maybe I can, uhm, get a... goodbye kiss? I mean, it's okay if you don't want to. I just thought that you might not even want to kiss me again after this time alone; and that I really want agoodbyekiss and..."

As usual, Kurt didn't even let him finish the sentence before ghosting with his lips over Blaine's. Both their eyes were slightly parted and looking at each other, making the moment even more intimate and somewhat sadder. Blaine still could see the tears clouding the now dark blue eyes as he nibbled the plump upper lip inside his mouth, thinking that maybe that would be the last time that he'd get to do it.

He heard a choked sound, like a sob but he wasn't sure who made it. He didn't feel it like he was the one who sobbed, but Kurt's eyes hadn't blinked either. The most probable thing was that Blaine himself was the one who did it.

Gripping tighter to the fabric of Kurt's shirt, he pulled him forward to sit straddling Blaine's lap and Kurt didn't even protest; he just slid his hands up until he was tugging at his dark curls and smashed their mouths together.

"Kurt..." he breathed, his hands pulling the thighs as close to his hips as he could.

Without letting him even take a deep breath, Kurt was there again; deepening the kiss and making those sweet noises Blaine loved so much.

Until then, it hadn't felt like a goodbye kiss. It was all force and passion, and Blaine loved every second of it. But then Kurt started kissing him deeply and slower, sucking his lips into his mouth one by one and gazing at him with sleepy eyes. That did feel like a goodbye.

The movements of their lips were more and more languid until they were just pressing their mouths together.

"Please don't go," Blaine whispered against his lips, before pecking them time and time again. "Please don't," he repeated time and time again between kisses.

Kurt, on the other hand, was crying again and the only sounds he made were little sobs. But he didn't seem to want to end the kiss either. He kept smashing their mouths together and holding onto Blaine like his life depended on it.

They kept kissing and holding onto each other until a loud horn sounded outside the house. Blaine kept whispering "Please don't leave", as the teary stained boy gave him a long last kiss and stood up from his lap.

"Blaine, please. I really have to go. I'll call you okay. Just... wait until I'm ready to talk."

"Please don't leave..."

Shaking his head, Kurt grabbed his bag and walked out of the bad boy's room and, a few seconds later, house.

"Please... I love you." he whispered to an empty room.