Somedays all Blayne seemed to be was a doll. A Ken doll perhaps, but with seams that itched to tear, a frozen smile that felt of plastic and salted tears.

She spent those days quiet. No solos, no outbursts. Just strolling along Kurt's side like a good boyfriend, bowtie wrapped around her neck and hair firmly pressed into her head. She thought a lot on days like that. What he would say if he saw the real her. Not a Barbie doll, not quite, but perhaps a Raggedy Anne. Stitched together with long curls and lacy ribbons, for once not torn apart by lies like “he” and “boyfriend”.  

Often Blayne couldn't fathom the unfairness of it all. Kurt was a vision of Ken doll perfection, all crisp collars and hair-sprayed waves of chocolatey brown. And Blayne knew without a doubt, that Kurt was meant for someone like that. Like Blaine. Another perfect doll-like creature, with debonair good-looks and lovely wingtipped shoes. She wasn't meant for Kurt. But Kurt was meant for her. She knew that to be fact. It was in the way he moved, the way he breathed. The way his lips felt against her's, like for that moment all was right in the world. She let herself imagine it, sometimes. Imagine herself in a pretty dress, purple perhaps, one of Kurt's creation, that was for sure. Coming home from work, singing a higher range under her breath, an alto at least. Him slipping his hands around her waist, kissing her on the cheek. Pencil marks would line his face as he'd excitedly tell her about his latest fashion achievement and she'd sigh happily.

But visions like that were often replaced. The light in his eyes fading as he shook his head. She wasn't silly, she knew he'd let her down easy. But he wouldn't stay, that was for sure.

“Blaine… I'm gay,” he'd stutter. Or worse, he'd laugh. “No you're not.” he'd say in disbelief.

But she was. She'd known it for so long, by the time she gave her heart to Kurt the secret was etched into it's beats. In fact, the day she met Kurt she was going to tell someone. Wes to be precise, the sweet Warbler who'd befriended her from day one. He'd recently told her he had a brother who was transgender and she had immediately prepared a whole speech. She would tell him after the Teenage Dream performance, ask to talk to him after. She was rushing to meet him before the show when she heard the voice chime behind her.

At first glance, Blayne had thought perhaps she'd found someone even better. With his high voice and rounded face, Blayne had briefly wondered if Kurt was FTM. She quickly realized otherwise when he told her of his bullying problems. And, in a way that had become so perfectly Blaine and Blayne all at once, she realized she couldn't possibly come out now. This boy, this lovely, lonely teenager, needed a man. He needed someone stronger than the girl Blayne was. And so the mask of Blaine solidified, becoming tangled with Blayne's heart as she handed it so willingly to Kurt Hummel. A woman's heart, given to the one person she wanted, the one person who would never want it. Not if he knew.