Chapter 7

 Kurt seemed to have guessed right. Not one person turned to look at him as Blaine marched purposefully through the lobby and Blaine was aware that his oddly outstretched hand clutching Kurt's must have looked very strange to passers by.

They didn't speak. Kurt had become even more withdrawn the more they moved through the echoing corridors of the hospital and it was all Blaine could do to keep from stopping and dragging the man back into his arms to comfort him.

A nervous giggle bubbled into his mouth as he thought about how peculiar that would look to the hospital staff; a man stood hugging himself in the walkway. He swallowed down the laugh, registering the inappropriateness of his thought patterns and recognising this as a product of his own nervous energy.

Kurt had been steering the way, through the warren of corridors and floors that followed a labyrinthine course around the hospital but as they neared ICU, Blaine felt him falter. He squeezed his hand again and whispered close to his ear, "I'm with you. We'll do this together."

 Perhaps it was the late hour or the skeleton staff in ICU, but no-one bothered to stop the unknown dark haired man wandering through the double doors and heading in the direction of room 4C.

The woman on reception was chatting animatedly on the phone and Blaine wondered briefly if this was still Jane from earlier. His jaw tightened as he remembered the cold feeling that had slunk over him at her words on the other end of the line. He swallowed thickly and continued following Kurt to the end of the corridor.

He hadn't been paying attention really and the abrupt halt of Kurt in front of him sent him careering in to the solid back of the other man momentarily. He took a couple of seconds to breath in the soft sent of Kurt and felt the muscles contract in his tense back before moving around him and following his eyes through the glass window of the room.

 A strangled gasp stuck in Blaine's throat as he let his eyes wonder over the form laying on the bed.

There were no words, no science, no logic to explain what he was witnessing and despite having mentally prepared himself for this, he realised that no amount of open-mindedness could really ready you for what he was currently seeing.

 It was Kurt. A paler, almost ashen version of Kurt, but Kurt unmistakably. His eyes flickered to the man in front of him and watched as a string of nameless emotions rolled over his face.

Silently, Kurt pushed open the door and moved through it into the oppressive atmosphere of the room. As the door clicked behind them, Blaine found himself aware of the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor and the repetitive hiss and suck of the breathing apparatus that was currently in Kurt's mouth. All else was silent. Nothing moved. Nothing stirred.

The form on the bed was completely inert and looking at him made Blaine's chest constrict in an almost painful way. He dragged his eyes off the man on the bed and looked instead to Kurt. His Kurt. The almost familiar presence that was so much more living than the shell of a man in the bed.

 Kurt had moved towards the form; stood now trembling as he starred at the bruised and swollen face of the man. Instinctively his fingers reached up to his own completely unblemished cheeks.

Time seemed paused, a momentary freezing of the air around them and then Kurt let out a gut-wrenching whine, unlike anything Blaine had ever heard before. The sound was achingly hollow, and Blaine watched helplessly as Kurt sank to the cold lino and choked out sobs, struggling to breath.

 In desperation, Blaine flung himself down beside Kurt and once again, hauled the other man into his arms. They were both shaking; nothing was clear or real or solid anymore and Blaine felt himself spiral out of all control as he rocked the fragile form against him.

Clutching his head to his chest and repeatedly stroking his hair, he breathed the mantra over and over whispering "It's ok. It's ok. It's ok..." Some part of Blaine wondered if it would ever be ok again but he forced himself to remain strong. This wasn't about him anymore. This wasn't about reason or logic. This was about the shivering, wreck of a man curled into a tiny ball in his lap.

 "Am I dead Blaine?"

The voice was barely audible, hissed out with a sob against the other man's chest. Blaine's throat constricted and his heart felt as if another fragment had been chipped off. He continued to stroke the baby soft hairs at the base of Kurt's neck.

"I don't know." He breathed out quietly between them. It hung in the air.

Another loud beep from the heart monitor brought Blaine back into the present with a jolt and he gripped Kurt's face, forcing the other man to meet his eyes.

"Kurt listen to that." he said slightly more forcefully. "That beep. That sound. That's you. That's your heart. Do you hear it." His voice was stronger now; willing Kurt to understand. To fight.

"That beep means you're not dead Kurt." He insisted. "You. Are. Not. dead." He repeated, watching for any sign of strength returning to those pale eyes.

Gradually, as the beeps continued, they seemed to seep into Kurt's skin, his conscious, and slowly, the light came back to his face and tears pooled there again. The sight of Kurt coming back to him, made Blaine's stomach clench and he softened his hold on the other man's face, his fingers stroking gently against the skin. Kurt unconsciously nuzzled his cheek against Blaine's palm and then moved backwards slightly, climbing unsteadily to his feet. 

 "I have to get out of here."

He coughed a small hiccup that displayed the panic in his voice and heaving a deep, jagged breath, wrenched the door open and fled into the corridor.

 Blaine scrambled to his feet, took one last look at the empty body that occupied the bed, not Kurt, he would never be able to see that hollow figure as Kurt and took pursuit.

Somewhere he could hear a shout of "hey" that must have come from Jane finally registering the stranger in the ward but he ignored it and concentrated on the rapidly diminishing navy T-shirt that Kurt was wearing.

 Finally bursting through the glass doors, Blaine stumbled into the car park at the front of the hospital and saw Kurt disappear round the side of the building, heading back towards the apartment. As he neared the corner of the now familiar street, he saw Kurt hunched over, hands on knees, slumped against the wall. His breath was coming out in ragged gasps as Blaine neared and he was panting to get air back in to his lungs.

 "Kurt?" Blaine murmured. He reached out to touch his shoulder but the other man flinched as if burned when he felt the press of Blaine's hand.

Then everything seemed to twist upside-down as Blaine found himself slammed painfully against the hard concrete of the wall and Kurt's lips crashed against his own.

He didn't have time to think. His body reacted immediately to the delicious pressure of Kurt's hot mouth and the tongue already forcing its way between Blaine's parted lips. He felt the solid press of Kurt's body flush against him, forcing him into the wall and crushing their breaths out of them.

It was desperate. Teeth and tongues clashed together and aching moans whimpered from Kurt's dry throat. Blaine felt Kurt's hands clawing at the waistband of his pants and a ragged groan ripped from Blaine's lips before he was pushing back against the searching fingers.

 "Blaine.."

His name spilled from Kurt's lips and Blaine felt his body stiffen even more at the painful ache that sound caused in him.

"Blaine...I..I need this. Make me feel. Blaine. I need to feel."

His voice was desperate, needy. It clawed its way inside Blaine's mouth and constricted his heart, jolting electricity through him. He pulled back to look at Kurt, forcing the man's head off his lips for a moment to stare into his eyes.

 "Kurt...?" he paused and watched Kurt's pupils dilate, blown wide with desire and want. They were pleading with him. Searching his face for some sort of reassurance. They stood, gasping in each other's arms, clinging to skin, breaths dragged out of them into the static air.

 "Please Blaine" Kurt whimpered. "Please help me to feel again."

 The tiny, desperate hitch of Kurt's words, were all that was needed. They reached into Blaine's heart, strangling it. An animalistic growl tore from his throat and before either man could think again, Blaine grabbed Kurt's face and crashed their lips together once more.